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Robert Poulin
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| Robert Poulin | |
| Born | 1957 |
| Died | October 27, 1975 (aged 18) |
| Nationality: | Canuck 
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| Highscore | Killed 2, injured 5, raped 1 |
| Top 50? | No |
| Style | FPS/Hack'N'Slash/RapeLay, Single player |
| An Hero? | Yes |
| Motive | Virgin with rage |
Robert Poulin (aka Adam Friedland's brother) was a pissed off basement-dwelling nerd, loser, and truecel with a chest defect and sperg-like social skillz who raepd a bitch, killed her, failed at setting his house on fire, and then went to his school to try to get the high score. This was the second recorded school pwning attempt in Canada, only five months after Michael Slobodian made the first, and it was before Columbine, École Polytechnique, and Parkland too! Very classical.
This shooting is an example of how deadly nerds can be. Encyclopedia Dramatica encourages you to write to your local senator about banning nerds and shunning them from society so we can prevent these kinds of tragedies.
Before the shooting
Robert was your average Canadian boy. He liked science fiction, collecting, and wargames. His daddy was a Royal Canadian Air Force pilot (which Robert couldn't be because of his poor vision), he had a convex chest (sound familiar?), was chubby, and his balls dropped later than other kids. Despite going on to be the double-whammy of rapist and murderer, Robert showed no signs of hostility or violent tendencies as a child. He went to church like a good goy and worked jobs as a paper boy and pizza shop worker (okay, now the coincidences are just getting creepy).
He had a dark side, thoughever. He was, Allah forgive me for saying this, a gooner. He owned SOOOOOOOOOOOO MANY porno mags (250, to be exact), and rated them along with advertisements, having a meticulously detailed record of them for some fucking reason. He also owned a box of women's clothing, an inflatable sex doll, a vibrator(???), and a list of eighteen names of girls for very wholesome and Christian-like purposes. Coincidentally, some of these girls received obscene phone calls that stopped after the shooting. One can only wonder why.
Robert was also depressed due to not being able to find a girlfriend. This was probably due to him being a shy and awkward sperg. Though unlike the common myth about school shooters, he wasn't a loner, as he had a few friends (unlike you). Some lulzy entries from his diary detail his frustrations with being a virgin; "I don’t want to die before I have had the pleasure of fucking some girl", and, after acquiring the sex doll, "Now I no longer think that I will have to rape a girl, and am unsure as to whether or not I will still commit suicide." If only Elliot Rodger tried something similar...
Robert also may have went on some "test drives" before the day of the attack. No, he didn't practice shooting, he instead wore a balaclava and tried assaulting women near his house. This didn't fucking work, but he still got away with it, so hey.
LIKE SO MANY FUCKING MASS SHOOTERS, Robert tried applying to the military, but was rejected for being immature and for lying on his application; saying he played sports when everyone knows that nigga wasn't doing SHIT. He instead applied to the Cameron Highlanders militia; nothing of note really happened here besides him receiving some commando training and some of his fellow soldiers finding him weird.
Shit Goes Down
Loadout
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The Shooting
On October 27, 1975, Robbie did what Allah put him on Earth to do. First, he lured a negress that he had a crush on (RACEMIXER!) named Kim Rabot into his house, and then took him to his room in the basement. He put handcuffs and a plastic bag on her before raping and killing her. As if that wasn't fucked up enough, his MOM WALKED IN ON HIM AFTER HE KILLED HER! She asked if she could speak with him, to which Robert responded "Yeah, but don't come in" like a dumbass, and in an even more dumb move, she listened and told him he had an eye appointment. Robert walked out an hour later, asked for a peanut butter sandwich, set his room on fire, and left for school. Srsly. We can only assume that no one cared since she wasn't white.
After this lulzfest, Robbie went to school, arriving at the cafeteria with a blue dufflebag. If you can guess what was in it, you win a prize! I'll give you a bit.
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Yeah it was a gun. Shortly before 2:30, he crossed the hall and went to a classroom, taking out the shotgun from the duffle bag. The classroom he opened fired in was a Christcuck class about Jesus and the problems of modern society. The retard thankfully only managed to kill Mark Potvin, who tried door cucking him by shutting the door, and ended up getting killed in the process. This went on for two minutes before Robert lost his iPod and turned the gun on himself, ending his life. SEE WHAT HE DID WHEN YOU DENIED HIM SEX, FOIDS???
Graded Score
| Kill count: | 2/20 |
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| Accuracy: | 5/20 Should've attended army classes more, n00b. |
| Style: | 10/20 Raepd a bitch, didn't die a virgin |
| Butthurt: | 10/20 No one cared outside of Canada. |
| Bonus: | 15/20 Bonus points for originality and losing virginity |
Wanted Level:
Police Force
See Also
- Marc Lépine - did it right, fellow incel
- Gabriel Wortman - also did it right
- Alek Minassian
- Eric Harris - Seriously, this kid was his Canadian double
- Robert Hawkins, Robert Steinhauser, Robert Card, Robert Benjamin Smith - fellow Robbies
External Links
| Robert Poulin is part of a series on Soviet Canuckistan [Expand]
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Columbine: |
Columbine • Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold • Super Columbine Massacre RPG • Do you believe in god • Columbine Copycats • Columbine Gallery • Columbiners |
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| Admirers |
Adam Lanza • Alex Hribal • Artyom Kazantsev • Asa Coon • Alek Minassian • Audrey Hale • Bob8466 • Brooke Higgins & Sienna Johnson • Cho Seung-Hui • Dillon Cossey • Ichverbot • Jaylen Fryberg • Jeff Weise • Kimveer Gill • Lindsay Kantha Souvannarath • Lynn Ann • Natalie Rupnow • Neocities • Nghtmrchld26 • Pekka-Eric Auvinen • Robert Butler Jr. • Robert Hawkins • Robert Steinhäuser • Ryan Schallenberger • Sebastian Bosse • Sol Pais • TheAmazingAtheist • Tim Kretschmer • Vladislav Roslyakov • William Atchison • You | |
| Locations: |
Colorado • United States • School • Suburbs | |
| Related: |
Doom • Police Brutality • Postal • School Shooting • Mass Shooting • Video games • Trenchcoat • Marilyn Manson • KMFDM • Rammstein • Faggoth • Concerned Mother • Newgrounds • Ryan Lambourn • School Shooter: North American Tour 2012 • The Matrix • South Park • Michael Moore • Quentin Tarantino • 1990s • Jack Thompson • Gun control |
| Robert Poulin is part of a series on Dying Alone
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Robert Poulin is part of a series on Education [Go To School]
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Robert Poulin
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Spree/One-time Killers: |
Aaron Alexis • Adam Lanza • Alex Hribal • Alyssa Bustamante • Anthony Warner • Audrey Hale • Bruce Jeffrey Pardo • Casey Anthony • Cho Seung-Hui • Devin Patrick Kelley • Dylan Klebold • Dylann Storm Roof • Eric Harris • Gerry McCann • James Holmes • Jared Lee Loughner • Jason Rodriguez • Jeff Weise • Jiverly Voong • Joe Stack • Josef Fritzl • Laaiti Ekenstéen • Mark Essex • Martin Bryant • Matthew de Grood • Matthew Murray • Matti Saari • Maurice Clemmons • Nicholas Prosper • Pekka-Eric Auvinen • Peter Scully • Raoul Moat • Richard Speck • Robert Hawkins • Stephen Paddock • Tim Kretschmer • Timothy Hendron • TJ Lane • Tyler Peterson • Wade Michael Page • Woo Bum-kon |
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| Career/Serial Killers: |
Academy Maniacs • Adolf Hitler • Charles Manson • Chris Benoit • Dnepropetrovsk Maniacs • Dubya • Jack the Ripper • Jeffrey Dahmer • Mao Zedong • Richard "The Iceman" Kuklinski • Ted Bundy | |
| Terrorists: |
Al Qaeda • Anders Behring Breivik • Anderson Lee Aldrich • Anton Lundin Pettersson • Dzhokhar Tsarnaev • Elliot Rodger • George Sodini • Maniacs Murder Cult • Mark Essex • Nidal Malik Hasan • Osama bin Laden • Tamerlan Tsarnaev • Ted Kaczynski | |
| See also: |
Antisocial personality disorder • Jews • Murder • Paranoid personality disorder • Pittsburgh Paint Job • Police Brutality • Sick fuck |
| Robert Poulin is part of a series on Surprise Sex 
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