Chyna

Not to be confused with China or Blac Chyna, or China, Chris-Chan's neologism for pussy

Joanie Laurer, more commonly known as Chyna, was a bodybuilder and professional wrestler in the WWF who taught the young women of the late-90s that they could do anything that a man could do as long as they just put their hearts into it and abused a shitload of steroids and other assorted drugs. She was also known for having developed a micropenis and for her obnoxious voice that sounded like the last breaths of a dying animal that just got run over by a Mack Truck.

Following her career as a professional wrestler, Chyna went on to star in various films and television shows – Most notably landing a role as She-Hulk in a low-budget porno and appearing on Celebrity Rehab in a failed attempt to battle her life-threatening addiction to alcohol and drugs. On April 20, 2016, Chyna's bloated and maggot-infested corpse was found in her apartment, the police believe that she died of a "suspected drug overdose" several days earlier at the young age of 45.

Chyna was billed as being the "Ninth Wonder of the World", and her seemingly circumcised micropenis was often billed as being the tenth.

Career

Joanie Laurer was hired by the WWF in 1997 after abusing steroids and proving herself worthy by beating the living shit out of a man in a dress. She took the stage name of "Chyna" (derived from the word vachyna) and quickly rose to prominence due to the fact that she possessed a pussy – Something that most professional wrestlers didn't possess at the time.

After winning many fights that were definitely not staged, Chyna then faced off with Jeff Jarrett in a match for the WWF Intercontinental Championship Belt. Chyna ended up smacking Jeff Jarrett with a literal kitchen sink and then finished him with a guitar to the back of his head, thus making her the first female to ever hold the title of WWF Intercontinental Champion.

After leaving the world of professional wrestling, Chyna then began a career as a porn star.

Last Night in Chyna

Chyna, preparing to curl up and die.

Quotes

	“	No matter the cause of death, we all know that #patriarchy killed Chyna. #RIPChyna	„
	—SemperJase, thinking that the patriarchy did Chyna

	“	Shattered glass ceilings, kicked down doors, broke gender barriers, . Rest now-ur legacy lives on #RIPChyna	„
	—alwayslarrie3, believing that steroids are feminism drugs

	“	I'm still fucked up about it sorry!!!!!! Bye Chyna was murdered by misogyny and indifference just like the rest of us will be don't @ me	„
	—jortician ‏

	“	chyna was murdered by Vince McMahon as a way of cleansing his products history of any unsavory characters #WakeUp	„
	—Alex J. Riley, revealing the truth

	“	WWE has a problem. Chyna dies aged 45, following Chris Benoit murder-suicide, and early deaths of Test, Eddie Guerrero, Umaga, Bigelow ...	„
	—Jamie Pandaram, realizing that wrestlers tend to die young