Nicky Reilly

This page contains spoilers — important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example,
HOLY SHIT Nicky has died in prison!!!1

This person has Assburgers Syndrome,
so you can't say anything bad! :-(

Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.

What a hardcore IRL CoD player looks like.

Nicky Reilly (sounds familiar?) who changed his nick to Mohammad Abdul-Aziz Rashid Saeed-Alim is a 22 year old aspie who converted to Islam and declared jihad on Britfagistan in May 2008 – Unfortunately for Nicky, his complete and utter incompetence as a suicide bomber led to a combined total of 0 deaths and put him behind bars for the rest of his life. Fortunately for Nicky, he dieded only 8 years later, possibly due to complications of being a fat fuck.

The Aspie

Reilly who has an IQ of 83, was taken to a psychiatrist when he was 9 after his thick mum thought he was just pretending to be stupid in order to get out of work, after the psychiatrist confirmed he was indeed retarded and not faking, decided instead of putting him on the short bus, left him in his normal school where the little cunts bullied the fuck out of the aspie and made him try to an hero at 16, lived in his mum's basement when he decided to go on to the internet, where he was greeted by the loving arms of Mohammad's children, who then converted him to Islam and told him he needed to an hero in the proper Muslim way by strapping a bomb to his self, and running into a crowd of westerners.

Hurrrrr How I Unlooked Doer? How I Unlook Door? Deeeeeer!!

After being told to an hero using bombs, the Pakis then directed him to a series of "How-To-Jihad" videos on YouTube showing how to set up us the bomb, and what was the ideal placement in a restaurant to cause the most kills and injuries.

On May 22nd, the aspie wrote a suicide note praising Osama bin Laden, and left to go to the local tea shop, where 30 Britfags were sipping tea, as they do. After arriving, the aspie walked into the bathroom and started putting together the bomb in a stall. After finishing, he ran into one problem, the pig disgusting Britfag infidels had put a obstacle in our Aspergic mujahideen's path to Allah... A lock on the stall door.

The aspie started to panic, trying to open the door desperately so he could get his 72 Hugboxes, but before he could even think about opening the door, he had one of his bombs go off prematurely causing the rest of his bomb vest to cook off due to him being too retarded to properly wire the bomb. Despite the bombs on his chest going off, he managed to kill nobody and was the only one injured in the attack. He failed to even die.

Sentence

After blowing himself up and suffering facial injuries, failing in his jihad, the bobbies swooped in and arrested our hapless hero. After pleading guilty to attempted murder, preparing an act of terrorism and once saying a bad word to his mom when he was really, really mad, Reilly was sentenced to life imprisonment.

External Links

The article on the Daily Mail

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