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John Earnest

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John Earnest
Born June 8, 1999 (25 years old)
Nationality: Americunt  
Occupation School chess club president
Highscore Killed 1, injured 3
Top 50? Lol no
Style FPS/Fire Emblem, Single player
An Hero? No (v&)
Motive White supremacy
/pol/ disease
   
 
Give. Them. Hell.
 

 
 

—John Earnest before causing virtually no damage whatsoever.

On the last day of Passover, only a month after the Christchurch mosque shootings and exactly six months after the 2018 Pittsburgh Synagogue Shooting, it was only a matter of time before that massacre of incredible hilarity would spawn a copycat criminal. John Timothy Earnest was a random American 19-year-old loser who became the first disciple of Saint Tarrant after shooting up the Chabad of Poway Synagogue in the name of saving the Aryan race from Jews or some shit like that. He livestreamed it but the dumb cracker set the stream as private so nobody could watch it.

Normally, we'd put the subject's name in bold in the lead section but why bother, honestly? No one will ever remember this guy and he is hardly important. The (((media))) sort of yawned and lost interest after day 1 when it turned out the shooter despised Trump, so there was no chance of spinning it into a Trump-bashing opportunity. Israel cashed in a bit by blaming Arabs but Jews gonna Jew. It barely even sparked any buzz on the old mass shooting meme.

John is only remembered for being the first mass shooter retard inspired by Brenton Tarrant, and even then that is only by weirdos like you and I. Labelling John a terrorist would be an insult to all those who've sacrificed their lives for the advancement of the art; this cocky 8chan twat couldn't even score past a 60-year-old pensioner minding her own business. He is further proof that Californians really shouldn't get involved in anything gun-related.

Background

"Meme magic is real." - John’s final message on /pol/.
Edgy shit he spray painted onto the parking lot of the mosque he lit up.

John was radicalized after joining 8chan's /pol/ and immediately feeling right at home. Despite actually being polite, fairly popular and having a bright future ahead of him, he became an angry “White supremacist” basement-dweller in just under 18 months. Inspired by the heroic deeds of Robert Bowers and Saint Brenton Tarrant, John sat himself down and wrote a terrible manifesto full of even worserer shitposting than Tarrant's. Since he was just delusional about being the vanguard of a new race war, he padded his writings with ludicrously self-aggrandizing statements. The cringiest of these was about how he hoped to be released from prison when ZOG was overthrown, and would then lead soldiers against the Enemies of the White Race.

He tried setting fire to a mosque, but hadn't realized that sandniggers sleep inside the goddamned things. So the Muzzies woke up, put the fire out while yawning, and went back to sleep. He boasted in his manifesto about getting away with it, but the sad truth is the Islams probably thought it was some homeless bum's campfire and never realized they'd been attacked at all. This brings us to the true Day Of Action itself.

Gay Manifesto

Shooting

After making a mandatory post on /pol/, John got tooled up, drove to a local synagogue (which he believed to be his local ZOG branch), and walked in with adrenaline surging through his thin teenage veins like spinach through Popeye. This probably explains why he then sprayed-and-prayed like a hyperactive toddler's first time with bubble-mix, and caused about as much damage. He blew the fingers off a rabbi's hand and took out one whole granny Jewess. At that point, his rifle jammed and some jacked jew twice the size of John finally noticed him and shouted at him loudly, causing Earnest to shit himself and run away. After fleeing the scene, Earnest actually called the cops on himself and was apprehended after surrendering without a struggle. Even Couch Cuck had more fucking dignity than this.

FINAL TALLY: 1.015 deaths (subject to downward revision if the Rabbi's fingers get stitched back on). He didn't even shoot himself out of shame and self-loathing. If this is the alt-right's idea of gaining popularity, then they should find a better PR guy.


[-+]Police Call Transcript

Full audio

CHP: (Unintelligible.) Hello, 911?

Earnest: Yeah, I just shot up a synagogue. I’m in my car right now.

CHP: Are you the suspect?

Earnest: What’s that?

CHP: You said that you what?

Earnest: I just shot up a synagogue. I’m defending my country. I’m in my car. You should come get me. I’m driving.

CHP: Where are you at?

Earnest: Uh, Rancho Bernardo. I’m on Bernardo Center Drive right now. I’m still driving right now.

CHP: Okay, where you’re at, pull over.

Earnest: Sure.

CHP: Where are you pulling over at?

Earnest: Um, you can track it – you guys can track my phone, right?

CHP: Okay, you’re calling from (Phone Number)?

Earnest: Yeah.

CHP: What is your – what’s your name?

Earnest: John Earnest.

CHP: John, and your last name is Earnest?

Earnest: Yes.

CHP: And where are you pulling over at?

Earnest: I can’t pull over right now.

CHP: Where – where are you at?

Earnest: I’m in Rancho Bernardo.

CHP: Where at, though? (Long pause.) Where – where in Rancho Bernardo?

Earnest: I don’t know.

CHP: Do you know what street you’re on?

Earnest: Nope.

CHP: What kind of car are you in?

Earnest: Honda Civic 2012.

CHP: What – what color Honda Civic are you in?

Earnest: Grey.

CHP: Do you still have weapons on you?

Earnest: They’re in my car, but I won’t use them. I’ll get out of my car when I see you guys. Oh, I see you guys right now. Hold up, I’m gonna pull over.

(Long pause.)

(Police sirens.)

CHP: Who borrowed my log? Okay.

Earnest: You guys just passed me.

CHP: Hey, hey, Erica, Erica, Erica, give me, somebody filed my log. Can you let Sheriff’s know that the suspect is not gonna fire on… a – they just passed him. He’s in a grey Honda Civic. He’s getting out of his vehicle. He will not fire on ‘em. H- hello, John?

Earnest: Yeah?

CHP: Okay, hold on one moment.

(Long pause.)

CHP: Okay, John, um, do you know where you’re at?

Earnest: Yeah. I’m right by West Bernardo Drive. I’m on Rancho Bernardo Road, though.

CHP: You’re on West Bernardo?

Earnest: I’m right by the crossing, yeah.

CHP: And what kind of weapons do you have on you, John?

Earnest: I have an AR-15, a Smith and Wesson M&P-15. It's right in the passenger side. When I see you guys I'm going to get out of my car. I have a vest on now, it has ammunition. It has nothing else. My weapon will be left inside the car.

CHP: And what kind of vest do you have on?

Earnest: Oh, it’s just a chest rig.

CHP: A what?

Earnest: It’s a chest rig with ammunition.

CHP: Are you military?

Earnest: No, I am not. I’m just trying to defend my nation from the Jewish – the Jewish people.

CHP: How old are you, John?

Earnest: 19. They’re destroying our people. I’m trying to show them that we’re not gonna go down without a fight. We’re not gonna – (Unintelligible.)

CHP: Okay, John. I’m gonna try to get you retransferred over to San Diego Sheriff’s Depar-

(Long pause.)

CHP: John, what – do you see any buildings around you?

Earnest: Yeah.

CHP: What do you see?

Earnest: Sonic, gas station, 7-Eleven.

(Long pause.)

CHP: I’m sorry, you’re across from where? What kind of gas station?

Earnest: Uh, there’s a Chevron on one side and, uh, 76, it says?

CHP: And you said that there’s a 7-Eleven nearby?

Earnest: Yeah. Man, you guys take a long-ass time. (Long pause.) You realize you’re fighting with the wrong people, right? You’re serving a government that’s gonna kill all of you.

CHP: Okay, John, stay on the line. What I’m gonna do – I’m gonna try to get you transferred over to the Sheriff’s Department, okay? Hold on one moment for me, okay?

(Long pause.)

CHP: Hey C- uh, this is CHP. I have your suspect on landline of, uh, shots fired.

SDSD: What’s the location?

CHP: John, go ahead and talk. Sheriff’s on the line.

Earnest: There’s the crossroads between West Bernardo Drive and, I believe, Rancho Bernardo Road. Right by a 7-Eleven and a Chevron and a 76.

SDSD: Hello, 911?

CHP: Sheriff’s, this – this is CHP. Your suspect is on the line. Go ahead.

SDSD: Hi, this is the Sheriff’s Department.

Earnest: Yeah.

SDSD: What’s your name?

Earnest: John Earnest.

SDSD: What’s going on?

Earnest: I’m defending my nation against the Jewish people who are trying to destroy all white people.

SDSD: Where are you right now?

Earnest: I’m at the intersection of West Bernardo Drive and Rancho Bernardo Road.

SDSD: West Bernardo and what?

Earnest: I believe it’s Rancho Bernardo Road. I can’t see it, though.

SDSD: So, you’re at Bernardo and Rancho Bernardo?

Earnest: No, I’m at the intersection of West Bernardo Drive and Rancho Bernardo Road. I believe it’s Rancho Bernardo Road, but I can’t see it -- it’s on the side.

SDSD: Are you in a vehicle?

Earnest: Yes, I am.

SDSD: What kind of car are you in?

Earnest: Do you guys not have the ability to –

SDSD: What kind of vehicle are you in?

Earnest: To locate my phone?

SDSD: What kind of vehicle are you in?

Earnest: Honda Civic, 2012, grey.

SDSD: What weapons do you have?

Earnest: AR-15, Smith and Wesson M&P-15 – in the passenger seat. I’m not gonna use it.

SDSD: Okay, are there any officers with you right now?

Earnest: No, there are not. (Unintelligible.)

SDSD: Okay, are you stopped or moving?

Earnest: I am stopped. I’ve been here for a long-ass time.

SDSD: And you’re inside the vehicle right now?

Earnest: Yes, I am.

SDSD: Are you at the intersection or are you in a driveway somewhere or?

Earnest: I’m on the side of the road. Yeah, I’m pretty much as close to a business you’re next to – the 76 gas station and also a Phil’s BBQ.

SDSD: And what clothing are you wearing?

Earnest: Uh, I’m wearing – (Unintelligible.) Pants, brown shirt, chest rig, wear glasses.

SDSD: Are you wearing a hat?

Earnest: Nope. Brown hair.

SDSD: Okay, and I want to make sure that you’re stopped there, right?

Earnest: Yes. Jesus Christ, you guys suck at your job.

SDSD: So, what happened?

Earnest: I opened fire at a synagogue. I think I killed some people. Another man returned fire with a pistol. He sucked ass though. He didn’t hit me at all. Went back in my car – drove away.

SDSD: Are you injured?

Earnest: I don’t think so.

SDSD: And where exactly are the guns right now?

Earnest: Uh, there’s only one gun. It’s in my passenger seat.

SDSD: Is the gun loaded right now?

Earnest: I believe not.

SDSD: Do you have extra ammo for that gun?

Earnest: I do. It’s on my chest rig right now. Once I see you guys, I’m gonna get out of my car. I will have the chest rig on with the ammo, but the gun will be left inside the car.

SDSD: Okay, can you take that chest rig off?

Earnest: I mean, it’s pretty hard. I can take the ammo out of it.

SDSD: Why don’t you do that. (Pause.) And what’s your first name again?

Earnest: John. (Sighs.)

SDSD: Last name?

Earnest: Earnest. E-A.

SDSD: What’s your birthday?

Earnest: June 8, 1999.

SDSD: Anybody else in the car with you?

Earnest: Nope, just me.

SDSD: Okay. Why’d you do it?

Earnest: Because the Jewish people are destroying the white race – they have been for a long time, and no one’s doing anything about it. Something has to be done.

SDSD: All right. Which direction is your vehicle facing?

Earnest: It’s facing… Dude, I don’t fucking know.

SDSD: Do you know which direction, like –

Earnest: To the right of me –

SDSD: North or south or west?

Earnest: To the right of me is a Phil’s BBQ.

SDSD: Okay.

Earnest: Oh, I see one of your cars.

(Long pause.)

San Diego Police Department Officer Jonathan Wiese (in background): On the ground! (Unintelligible.) On your stomach! Hands behind your back!

(END OF CALL.)


More angles

Loadout

Class Setup
Item Accessories/Bonus
  • Even neutered by California's Nazi gun laws, still a weapon capable of ending dozens of lives. The only reason this wasn't a devastating massacre was that he was so much of a faggot he could barely do any damage- 40-50 damage
  • Perk 1: Stopping Power
  • The power to stop only 1 opponent.
  • Double damage against Muslims, niggers, and browns.
  • Perk 3: Christian
  • +45% damage to those who follow the world rather than Christ.
  • Spell: Nazi
  • Double damage against Muslims, Americans, non-Aryans and Jews.

Graded Score

Graded Score
Kill count: 1/20 (3 injured) - Even unarmed kikes were a challenge for this fag
Accuracy: 0/20 Hit or Miss, I guess you never miss, huh?
Style: 0/20 BAWWWW manifesto, typical 4cuck's /pol/ user
Butthurt: 1/20 The usual "false flag" bawwing in 4chan, caused lulz for jews
Bonus: 10/20 The first Tarrant disciple (his only claim to fame)
Total Score: 12/100 (F)
Proved that the white race is a force to be reckoned with
See full ranking


Wanted Level:

Mall Cop


Aftermath

What was the internet's reaction? Nothing. No one was impressed. On 8chan, an FBI agent feebly tried to blame the whole thing on Putin, but couldn't drum up much interest. As Johnny cited his religious beliefs as being a core part of his ideology, atheists and Christians battled it out in internet sissy fights. Earnest does however manage to claw back one six-millionth of a point for cred, because he made PewDiePie feel so butthurt about the "Subscribe" meme, that the Pied Piper of Sweden made a sadface video about disowning the whole thing (because that tactic worked so incredibly well when Matt Furie killed off Pepe.) John was arrested (obviously) and was sentenced to life imprisonment.


Reaction on /pol/


That Jew

If there is one thing that can be said, the Rabbi who lost his child-molesting finger from the shooting, Yisroel Goldstein, ended up with a condition all too familiar for mass shooting survivors: Unwarranted Self-Importance. Despite having done nothing but get shot, he was given highest honors and Trump brought him to the White House to educate the masses. He also got to write some articles for the (((old media))), but oy vey! It's blocked by a paywall, so check out the archived version --> (archive)

On a brighter note, this fingerless faggot was later convicted of tax fraud in 2022 and given a time-out. Once a Jew, always a Jew.

Videos

Originally uploaded by Videographica Dramatica

Him actually playing (to train his trigger finger)

Listen to the call here

Tulsi Grabbard appealing to her ZOG masters

And the Donald too

A dangerous mix

Gallery


The Man Himself About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


Memes & Reactions About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See also

External Links

Shaka brah!

(Archived: 1 2)

(Archived: 1 2)

(Archived: 1 2)

(Archived: 1 2)

(Archived: 1 2)

(Archived: 1 2)



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