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Death penalty

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Fuck yeah! Strap dem sum bitches in dare! Texas fuck yeah!

The Death Penalty (also known as Capital Punishment) is a permanent IRL banhammer issued by the government. It is loved by conservatives and hated by liberals – who ironically have absolutely no qualms about vacuuming a dismembered infant out of a woman's vagoo. When you have done something so heinous, so unbelievably despicable, you may qualify for the death penalty, depending on the state you're in, as some are pussies and don't execute faggots. If you live in Asia, expect a death sentence at pretty much any time. Those chinks know how to get things done. If you live anywhere else, you are safe because you live in a pussy nation.

Around The World

Map of the death penalty. Users are in blood red. Note that most Hispanic countries don't use it because they're all going to get killed by the cartels anyways.

America

Some states like Texas and Florida love to execute you, while others like Alaska and Hawaii are dumb cunts that don't know how law and order work. Executions performed in America are done by lethal injection because the libtards are crybabies about firing squads and the electric chair. When someone is sentenced to death, it takes at least 100 fucking years to execute them because America's courts suck ass. Despite what those retard libtards want you to think, there's a better chance for you to die with a needle in your arm if you're white. For some reason, this loser country still has a problem putting chics in the chair despite their rising statistics. Watch out for White Knighting, sissy states like Ohio because as white women only make up 27% of the Murder victims in Ohio, 65% of the people executed in Ohio murdered some White, ass bitch.


Lethal injection procedure

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In America You, and we do mean You because we've seen your hard drive and know that you're starting to tire of lolita Guro and are looking to try your hand at the real thing.

In America, a few hours before your sentence you'll be given some really nice tranquilizers so you won't be so apprehensive about you're soon to be happening demise because nothing ruins an execution more for the witnesses is when the soon to be dispached are pissing and shiiting themselves out of sheer fright.

After you've been strapped to a gurney, have two lines stuck into your arms and have given your Crybaby speech about how sorry you are and shouldn't be killed the first drug you will be hit with is a massive dose of Barbituates like Sodium thiopental that will knock your sick ass out in less than 30 seconds.

In the second step, you will be getting hit with a large dose of muscle relaxants like Pancuronium bromide that will paralyze your diaphragm and begins your soon to be happening legal ban hammer by stopping your breathing.

In the final step, you'll be given a mega dose of potassium chloride to stop your heart. Asleep, paralyzed and in possession of a heart that has been destroyed by potaasium, you'll usually be dead within three to six minutes after your heart has stopped. Now wouldn't a bullet put right behind your right ear have been a lot easier?

Most of this is true unless you live in Ohio. In Ohio, everything ends after step 1 with strapping your sick ass to a gurney and giving you a mega dose of Sodium Thiopental. It's a pretty good show as the witnesses get to watch as You have seizures and foam at the mouth like a junkie off the street that was given a hot dose.

China

It is estimated over 2,000 gooks are executed by China every year, but they all probably deserved it anyway. Executions are usually carried out by the use of firearms, but they will also use lethal injection like the good ol' US of A.

If you have enough money to bribe officials, this is a good country to grease a couple of wheels and buy yourself a new liver with some good ol' Americunt Dollars.

Despite China's claims that this is all voluntary, journalists and human riggts groups claim that the Communist party, the Chines legal system, and the entirity of the Chinese health system are compliant with, what they refer to as illegal organ harvesting].

North Korea

Because Best Korea keeps everything a secret, it is unknown how many people they execute, but probably a lot. Although any method of execution goes, they like to shoot people in public for all to see, shedding blood onto the hands of Kim Jong Un, who proceeds to suck it because he is a fat fuck. Also, he fed his uncle to hungry dogs as execution for the win.

Japan

The nation of Japan is unique in its application of the death penalty. They execute people by means of hanging, a classic. They also like to troll death row inmates by telling them at the last second when they are about to be put to death. Those sneaky Japs!

Middle East

It is a well known fact that all muslims love them some capital punishment. You can be put to death for all sorts of crimes over there, such as being gay, dissing Islam, or engaging in the unholy act of buttsecks. People are usually executed in public for everyone to enjoy. Executions are either carried out by oldschool hanging from the crane of a truck, or stoning, where the whole town gets in on the fun and throws rocks at someone until they die. ALLAHU AKBAR!

Israel

That's right, even jews get in on the action, or at least they used to. You'd expect the people that gave us the phrase, "An eye for an eye," that Americunt conservative like to spam when it comes to the constitutionality of the death penslty would be more for it. Now, if you're lucky, they will do it in times of war (so always). They executed two people, a spy who was later found innocent, and Adolf Eichmann.

Belarus

Since Europe is composed of nothing but eurofags, the death penalty is outlawed everywhere - except Belarus. They occasionally execute people by means of single shot, to which the European Union gives them a slap on the wrist for. Srsly, they executed a terrorist and Europe went apeshit over it. Guess those bastards don't support the War on Terror.

Greece

Back in the days of the Seventh Century Draconian Code of Athens, death was the only punishment for any crime committed. Steal a fig from your neighbors tree, death. Get caught spitting on the sidewalk, death. Leave your spit cup on a subway seat letting it spill everywhere, death. Since 2004 when Greece abolished the death penalty they have become another country of Euro trash.

Ways To Avoid The Death Penalty

If you have money and a passport one of the easiest ways to avoid the death penalty is, if you have killed someone and know you will be charged, is to copy Ira Einhorn and run away to a country without the death penalty like France. So long as the Americunt prosecutors keep arguing for the death penalty during your extradition hearings you can live as a free man in France until the death penalty is taken off the table because some countries, that have abolished the death penalty, will refuse extradition to jurasidictions with a death penalty until it's promised that the defendant will not have to face the death penalty.

Amnesty International

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File:Lvov,+Poland,+Seven+Judenrat+Members+Executed+Simultaneously+by+Hanging.jpg
I bet they'd say the death penalty works
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THE DEATH PENALTY IS A SYMPTOM OF A CULTURE OF VIOLENCE, NOT A SOLUTION TO IT.
 

 
 

—Salil Shetty

Amnesty international is a group of far left leaning, rich, white, over educated organization of libtards that believe that it is their right to claim that a people's religion is wrong and their god a fraud so that they can come in and replace the current group think with their own when it comes to the death penalty.

Showing how far the world had degraded to an unrepairable level under the Socialist leadership of Jimmy Carter, Amnesty Internal began in 1977. Holding an International Conference in Stockholm Sweden AI made its first Terrorist demand on the world when it delivered its manifesto to the world demanding the abolishment of the death penalty across the world which won it the 1977 Nebel Peace Prize.

Amnesty International basis its pussy, liberal arts ideas on the UN's Universal Declaration of Human Rights from 1948 that says that people have 2 basic rights.

  1. The right to life
  2. The right to live free of torture

Despite some Murderer or Serial Killer breaking into a person's home and depriving a person of these rights, AI claims that Legal Systems have no right to do the same to these before named examples.

Amnesty International accuses countries of being inferior to their beliefs and ideals by claiming that the death penalty is inherently wrong as they accuse the legal systems of foreign nations being beneath them, flawed and corrupt. AI claims that the death penalty is being illegally used to control and reduce the numbers of unwanted people such as homosexuals and political protesters such as journalists with kangarroo courts that falsify evidence so they may kill unwanted populations and avoid the stigma of dictators who use mass executions for the same goal.

Much like the Clintons who have monetary interests in private prisons that are built for profit, AI would rather see prisoners ware-housed and stored in prisons indefinitely because they have decided that this is the best way for private citizens to feel safe.


Jesus and the Death Penalty

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One of the problems with the Christian Religion is that 100% of the people who believe that Jesus is a go-to source for someone who is against the death penalty and are looking for cool lines to quote are wrong. Many of those that are against it accuse those who are for it of putting words into Jesus' mouth to rationalize their stance.

The problem with any book, idea or soundbite is that most people are so fucking stupid that they have no idea about what they are quoting. For instance, many argue that Proverbs 13:24 gives them the right to beat the shit out if their child quoting, "Spare the rod; Spoil the Child", when it never says those words. What they are actually quoting is an old poem, "Hudibras" by Samuel Butler. "If matrimony and hanging go/By dest'ny, why not whipping too?/What med'cine else can cure the fits/Of lovers when they lose their wits?/Love is a boy, by poets styl'd/Then spare the rod, and spoil the child"

Proberbs 13:24 acrually says "He that spareth the rod hateth his son". The quote is making a metaphor to sheep herding and discipline. A sheppard's staff has a crook on the end of it so that the sheppard could grab a sheep around the neck and gently return them to the fold. It actually directs parents to lead by example. This seems like conjecture. The verse goes on to say, "but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes." Chasten does not mean lead by example. It means reprimand, or punish. It is true that "spare the rod, spoil the child" is a contemporary English paraphrase of the Biblical quote. It's difficult to draw any coherent instruction on parental corporal punishment from a few verses in Proverbs, especially given the lyrical and often allegorical nature of Biblical literature, and I can understand the appeal of a "gentler" interpretation. However, there's no reason to blink eyes at an ancient Jewish culture having different attitudes to childrearing than the contemporary West, and to dismiss it out of hand in exchange for something more comfortable.

First and formost, as the laws of Moses are proper proof of a G-D fearing man's right to the Death Penalty, "An eye for and eye." (Exodus 21:24), Jesus also noted that this law was correct and should stand when in Matthew 5:17 He said "Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil”.

Many open-minded, so called enlightened liberal types try to argue Matthew 5:39 "But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also." By claiming that Jesus is rejecting the laws of Moses and retributive punishments.

While Jesus may be speaking to a group he is also speaking to the individual and telling them that they have just as much responsability over an event as the person who provoked it and it is their place not to let the problem escalate with self defense or by becoming offended. Matthew 5:39 is rather Confucianist in its lesson saying that, "If you, yourself, don't go seeking a punishment, then none shall be given. If you rather give up your coat then have it stolen from you, then no one took anything from you by force."

The Catholic Church has in recent times been gravitating toward a strong anti-capital punishment sentiment, with recent popes such as John Paul II and Francis advocating its abolition (Benedict XVI being more ambivalent). It is a matter of debate between theologians: for two different perspectives on the matter see here (pro) and here (against).

List of death row inmates, past and present

See also


Death penalty
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Death penalty is part of a series on Dying Alone

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