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The Krassenstein Brothers

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Even manlets find them pathetic.

Edward Lawrence Krassenstein✡ and Brian Mark Krassenstein✡ (a.k.a. Talkgoldcom, edbri871, Akmed Malakar☪, JamesOkeef and the Super Ponzistein Bros.) are a pair of 43-year-old manlet twin brothers who are most well known for their amazing ability to vomit up a seemingly endless stream of obnoxiously stupid anti-Trump tweets – a skill that has helped propel them to prominence as key members of the long-running joke that refers to itself as "The Resistance".

Prior to becoming the biggest fucking stooges on Twitter, the Krassenstein brothers were most well known on the internets for being well-documented con artists and thieves who specialized in running Ponzi schemes, distributing pirated content, stealing domain names and booting up a spambot that was only capable of spamming a single string of text. The Krassensteins are also serial E-ntrepreneurs who have run at least 100 internet scam websites that have included MoneyMakerGroup and TalkGold – two seemingly competing forums that both catered to Jewgold enthusiasts and offered their criminal user base a convenient platform to advertise their highly illegal Ponzi schemes to ignorant wannabe investors.

In late 2016, the Krassensteins finally seemed to have gotten what they had coming after both ICE and the Department of Homeland Security raided their home in Fort Meyers, Florida and seized many boxes worth of evidence against the dastardly duo. Despite the case against the brothers being a fucking slam dunk, Barack Obama's incompetent federal government ultimately failed to file criminal charges and then pretended that—despite the fact that they had a strong enough case to send in the motherfucking Department of Homeland Security to raid their house—the Krassenstein brothers had done absolutely nothing wrong and were actually totally innocent of every crime that they had ever committed.

Since getting away with the biggest abortion of justice since O.J. Simpson got away with making sashimi out of his coal-burning wife and some Jew, the Krassensteins have moved on from running silly Ponzi scheme forums and rebrand themselves as "journalists" for their personal Fake News sites called Independent Reporter and Hill Reporter. As you'd expect, both of these sites target libtard Democrats who are dumb enough to throw their hard earned welfare money at literally anyone who claims that they'll be able to take down Führer Drumpf.

The brothers have also written a shitty crowdfunded propaganda piece that they poorly disguised as a "children's book" entitled How the People Trumped Ronald Plump. They have also joined Encyclopædia Dramatica and attempted to vandalize this article because they were very upset to discover that there are actually people in the world who won't mindlessly suck their disgusting circumcised cocks like an obedient little bitch and can't be silenced by simply clicking on Twitter's block button.

In 2019, Twatter sent the brothers to the digital gas chamber, thus cutting off their main source of Jew gold and relevance.

History of the Krassensteins

The Ponzi Bros. before SCAMMING FUCKING EVERYONE.
Imagine being a woman with standards low enough to marry one of these closeted poofters.

Edward Lawrence Krassenstein✡ and Brian Mark Krassenstein✡ were born in November of 1981 to parents Carol Krassenstein (née Voelker) and Martin Krassenstein✡. Around the age of 15, the brothers' Jewishness began to take over as they started selling video games and baseball cards on various newsgroups and ultimately set up their very first Ponzi scheme entitled EBKcards.

The Krassenstein brother have been actively trying to make quick and easy money on the internet since the early 2000s when the pair worked at GameStop and owned their own shitty reseller hosting account that they tried to pass off as a legitimate "hosting company" despite calling the goddamn thing Smiley Hosting and using fucking 1990s clipart as a logo.

Around 2003, the pair decided to open a shitty internet forum TalkGold that focused on helping users advertise their High-Yield Investment Programs (a.k.a. HYIPs and Ponzi Schemes), a form of scam that attempts to pose as a too-good-to-possible-be-true investment opportunity. Despite running a forum that was focused on making money, the brothers were too fucking cheap to shell out the money for a vBulletin license and instead went with the poor man's shitty alternative known as phpBB. Several years later, the pair finally scammed enough money out of their users to be able to afford a vBulletin license.

A year later, in 2004, the pair opened yet another shit-tastic phpBB forum called MoneyMakerGroup that did the exact same shit as TalkGold.


   
“ 		 
Ok so I worked hard, paid off my mortgage completely, and now have an asset that is worth 40% less then what I paid. Now what? I am asked to pay even more for people who made bad decisions and didn't read and understand the papers they were signing?
  		„
  		 

—talkgoldcom, on being real fucking good with money (archive)


Krassenstein Kidz Klub About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

TalkJewGold

TalkGold was never about HYIPs!
Artist's rendering of the elusive Akmed Malakar.

By mid-2007, a scammer-hunting E-vigilante named Brenda Bevil—owner of an anti-scam forum called Catty Shaq—was preparing to fuck up Brian's shit by reporting TalkGold to the FBI.

 
“ 		 
My specific brief was to remove scammers from tg . I did that to the point of obsession, and loved every minute, yet never once gained the support of the tg admin Brian. He, Brian could see his entire empire crumbling because if i removed all of the scammers what would he have left??

As much as i believe HYIP’s are an adult game, something that should not be ruled by laws of any country, the fact is they are. I actually i spent up to 12 hrs a day removing criminals from tg until eventually Brian realised what i was saying re the exchange folder was true. He was enabling theft by allowing that folder, and by its presence was abetting criminal activity.
 

„
 

—los, former TalkGold moderator banned for pointing out Brian's bullshit (archive)


   
“ 		 
$800,000 a week
  		„
  		 

—Brian, claiming to make $800k a week (archive)

   
“ 		 
I had a forum that discussed and warned people about Hyips, Talkgold. Teamearners is a membership site, that has nothing to do with HYIPs, and has rave reviews, just search google.
  		„
  		 

—The Krappensteins (archive)

   
“ 		 
TalkGold.com offers E-gold HYIP, E-Gold Game, & E-Gold Investment forums and message boards. Talk about E-gold Investments here!
  		„
  		 

—TALKGOLD WAS NEVER ABOUT HYIPS I SWEAR!!111 (archive)

   
“ 		 
From Here Brian Krassenstein created Talkgold. This is a website dedicated to the open discussion of various ways to earn a living online. This includes, affiliate marketing, Stock Investing, HYIP's, Paid to surf programs, etc.
  		„
  		 

—hope44 tells another story while white knighting the Krassensteins (archive)

New Super Ponzi Bros. U

What a pair of scamming Jews look like.

In late 2016, years of conning people on the internet finally caught up with the Ponzi Bros. as President Barack Obama's Department of Justice sent in ICE and DHS to raid the brothers' home in order to recoup the losses of the brothers' many victims.


   
“ 		 
We were part of an international organized crime syndicate responsible for hundreds of millions of dollars in illicit activity.
  		„
  		 

—The only accurate thing these Jews have ever said (archive)


   
“ 		 
Your Ponzi scheme cost my widowed sister loss of $8000, the govt could only refund her $4000 out of $12,000 she thought was a investm. in a 401k. They sold your properties to recoup victims losses & you are still living on victims money. #ShameOnYou
  		„
  		 

—Twyla Burger, calling out Brian for being a shitbag (archive)






Judd Dredd

Judd Legum is a progressive liberal retard with a funny name who, in 2005, founded a progressive propaganda rag called ThinkProgress. As a prominent member of The Resistance and a whiny liberal with a severe case of Trump Derangement Syndrome, Legum is held in high regard within the confines of the liberal hivemind hugbox.

On May 3, 2018, when Judd decided to link to an article detailing the Krassensteins' sordid history, it was only natural that the ensuing butthurt would make for some of the most memorable and hilarious lefty infighting in recent history.


   
“ 		 
A fascinating look at the Krassenstein brothers, who you probably see retweeted all the time, have a history of questionable marketing schemes and were the target of a federal raid in 2016 that they claim was all a big misunderstanding
  		„
  		 

—Judd Legum (archive)


Eddie quickly lept into action and spammed a massive Twitter rant where he accused Judd of being an unwitting agent of Russia.


   
“ 		 
It disappoints me that you interview us on the pretense that you want to help us get our true story out there, only to pick and choose everything you can in order to show us in a negative light. I thought ThinkProgress was better than that.
  		„
  		 

—Ed Krassenscam

   
“ 		 
We've never scammed anyone, and never will. To even push the idea that we would, is disgusting in my opinion. We have no history of questionable marketing schemes, bitcoin isn't illegal, and we don't want to be celebrities. Is your plan to try and divide the left?
  		„
  		 

   
“ 		 
I respect you Judd, but this article was written to try and make us look bad from the start. We have run 50+ websites and we sold ads to companies, some of which were MLMs, just like Google, Facebook, & probably even ThinkProgress. Literally thousands of sites do the same.
  		„
  		 

   
“ 		 
We weren't charged with a crime, and weren't ever arrested for anything. The article makes us out to be proven criminals. Is that what you do simply because someone has a lot of Twitter followers? I don't get your motive here...
  		„
  		 

   
“ 		 
The claim in the article that I don't consider to be part of the Resistance if false. What I told the writer was that I don't like the name "Resistance" but I would probably consider myself to be part of it. Resistance has a negative connotation to it IMO.
  		„
  		 

   
“ 		 
To me it is ironic that these journalists criticize people for being "grifters" - profiting off of their tweets - yet they are doing just that when they share articles that their websites write. ThinkProgress profits off of people reading articles. Doesn't this make you grifters?
  		„
  		 

   
“ 		 
And please, I dare you to find evidence of one "questionable marketing scheme" that we have run.
  		„
  		 

—Ed, asking for it

   
“ 		 
This is exactly what Russia wants to accomplish -- create discourse and division within America. You are falling right into their hands.
  		„
  		 

—Ed, on OMG RUSSIA OMG

Previous Quote | Next Quote


   
“ 		 
I just don't understand. What does our background have to do with our tweets anyway? Even if I was Bernie Madoff, how does that make my tweets any less valuable? It's not like we are asking people to invest money into us. For the Record I have never been arrested in my life!!
  		„
  		 

—Brian

   
“ 		 
That's like me finding out that you never committed a crime in your life and then alluding to the fact that you may have shoplifted when you were 18 since someone online claims it. Then I try to discredit your articles because you 'may have shoplifted'. Not fair, right?
  		„
  		 

—Brian "OMG The President is a Rapist!" Krassenstein, begging for due process

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Stealing Domain Names

   
“ 		 
I have purchased offer 150000 domains in the last 2 years with all the e-gold I stole from you stupid fucks who go on Talkgold and I will steal more domains and money as long as you assholes can’t catch me. [..] The fact of the matter is however that I am no better than the scumbags who pay me big money to advertise their scams at Talkgold forum and you losers try to smear my name around the internet because of some grudge you hold against me going back years when you lost your money in some ponzi scheme.
  		„
  		 

—BK1981 (archive)

Idetrorce

In 2007, Brian Krassenstein decided to purchase a bizarre domain name called Idetrorce.com. In a strange coincidence, a spambot named Idetrorce began hitting blogs and forums en masse around this same time.


   
“ 		 
very interesting, but I don't agree with you Idetrorce
  		„
  		 

—Idetrorce doesn't agree with you Idetrorce (archive)


   
“ 		 
66.228.115.231 is the IP Address of numerous sites owned by Brian Krassenstein, a well known spammer and scammer. He was the one responsible for the Idetrorce spam bot that hit bloggers by storm with spam comments and he has a long history of spamming for hyip's (ponzi schemes).

He currently operates Talkgold.com forums and a pyramid scheme named TeamEarners.com amongst other schemes. If you receive any more spam from his network, contact abuse [at] softlayer and let them know or contact the FBI's cybercrimes division who are already investigating his activities.
 

„
  		 

—Seamus (archive)


   
“ 		 
Idetrorce was a virus that I saw that people were searching for as a web trend. What I did was register the domain and I had planned on putting up an anti-virus protection tipbook for those infected with that virus. Because that guy claimed I was somehow involved I just let the domain drop and never went forward with my plans.
  		„
  		 

—Brian's perfectly reasonable explanation (archive)

Unverifagged

What all Jew warriors strive for!

Despite being a pair of liberal Jewish blowhards with a history of criminal behaviour, the Krassenstein twins still remain unverified by Twitter and lack the Blue Checkmark of Supreme Autism. Despite this, the brothers have both decided to include retarded emojis next to their usernames in an attempt to make themselves feel like their worthless existences actually matter.

Ed has chosen to include the 💎 emoji in his name to represent the hardest metal known to man and his love of buyinng diamonds with the money that he scams out of retards on the internets. Brian on the other hand has chosen the 🐬 emoji to represent the fact that he's a dolphin-loving faggot who hates that the Japs find dolphins to be absolutely delicious.

b&

Last Thursday the Shekelstein Brothers were permab& from Twatter for jewing the system by buying followers and interactions to pretend that they have friends. Using the same sockpuppet names as the ones they did to scam fucking everyone, they posted on several forums expressing interest in buying Twitter followers and interactions.

Evidence of their Twitter crimes About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
{{{5}}}

AND HERE'S THE MONEY SHOT: live archive Despite the overwhelming evidence of their guilt, Brian and Eddie insist that Adolf Donald is behind the Shoah 2: Electric Boogaloo because he met with Jack Dorsey a few weeks beforehand and set up a website to report social media bias.

https://web.archive.org/web/20190527191620/https://archive.is/dtm4M So far they've released an op-ed on their own site, an open letter to Twitter and an interview claiming they're having to lay off cancer patients because they were shoah'd from Twitter. Oh, and you know you're a shitbag when the Rolling Stone calls you "hucksters" and "jackasses". Good job retards.



President Plump

Brian prepares for Ed to read him a bedtime story about Drumpf.
Dumbest Book Ever About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
  • It's a book for kids.
    It's a book for kids.

The Jews Declare War on ED

On July 26, 2018, a user joined Encyclopædia Dramatica using the name Talkgoldcom and attempted to blank this article like a complete retard. As one would expect, this did not go well as the butthurt revisionism was quickly reverted and the Kike Bros. attempts to erase their sordid history merely resulted in them receiving a brutal arse-raping by the ED admins and renewed interest in their article.


Quotes

   
“ 		 
Here's an idea. Hillary Clinton should run for Congress, become the House Majority Leader and then she will be next in line to be President once Trump and Pence are impeached!
  		„
  		 

—Ed, proving himself to be the most retarded scammer ever (archive)

   
“ 		 
If the poor man's version of Don King is LaVar Ball, then the poor man's version of Adolf Hitler is Donald Trump. #WednesdayWisdom
  		„
  		 

—Ed, proving that Hitler didn't gas enough of these insects (archive)

   
“ 		 
Who cares if the Clinton's pay me? What difference would it make?
  		„
  		 

—Ed, admitting to being a paid shill (archive)

   
“ 		 
I actually am a quarter an inch taller than Ed. I'm 5'5"
  		„
  		 

—Brian Manletstein (archive)

Cool Sock, Akmed!

  • edbri871
  • Rookiecrd1
  • Living Lowlife
  • john645
  • johny236
  • jonclem45
  • Talkgoldcom
  • Akmed Malakar
  • Peter Gant
  • JamesOkeef
  • casino4032
  • EBKCards
  • ebkcards1
  • wtbcards
  • ebk1981
  • hope44
  • Jenkins4455
  • incentivetgh
  • OnLiveFans_com
  • Independent News
  • eaten
  • mebrian
  • briankrass
  • Brian Kay
  • Brian Berg
  • Brian Eachus
  • edkrass
  • Eddie K
  • EBkrass
  • JZZP48A
  • aptera

Gallery

Super Jew Bros. About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See Also

External Links

Edward Gassenstein

Accounts


Related Shit


Sites


Scam n' Spam Bros.


Evidence


Anti-Trump Retardation


Self Dox

  • [email protected] - Send your scatological Donald Trump fan fiction here and they'll publish it as fact.


The Krassenstein Brothers is part of a series on

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[No means no!Moar ræp plox!]

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The Krassenstein Brothers
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Featured Article August 4 & 5, 2018
Preceded by
Conversion Therapy 		The Krassenstein Brothers Succeeded by
Hiroshima and Nagasaki
Featured Article May 24 & 25, 2019
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Goth 		The Krassenstein Brothers Succeeded by
Ouija Board
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