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Santino William Legan

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Santino William Legan is yet another mediocre mass shooting article. You can help by not writing articles on every boring edgelord that goes postal and reminding the author they aren't AlGore.
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Santino William Legan
Nationality: Amerimutt  
Highscore 3 killed, 12 injured
Top 50? Nope
Style FPS, Singleplayer
An Hero? Yes

As 2019 passed its midway point yet another baby-faced retard decided to shoot up yet another densely populated area in The Good ol' U-S of A! because reasons. This particular retard was Santino William Legan, an angry onion munching wop who—having become angered by people enjoying garlic—headed on down to Gilroy, California to deal out some of his own Allium-scented justice. After promptly fragging three in the name of the Glorious Onion, Legan did the world a favor and offed himself.

Why are you doing this?

Political Motive?

As with every other mass shooting in Dumbfuckistan, the Republitards and the Democraps sought to blame each other for the shooting. The truth is, both are correct. Much like Pekka-Eric Auvinen, he showed interest in competing ideologies, which has the potential to generate extra lulz in the form of suburbanites attempting to find a scapegoat to blame (at the cost of being seen as an unfunny edgelord). This tried-and-true tactic has generated so much lulz and butthurt that the FBI is opening a domestic terrorism investigation after finding Legan's hit list. Since the investigation is ongoing, it is too early to tell what will come of it; however, we here at ED aren't holding our breath, given the FBI's track record of incompetence.

Graded Score

Graded Score
Kills: 3/20 Had no idea what he was doing
Accuracy: 4/20 Spammed shit; got 12 injuries
Style: 5/20 Very average American shooting -- nothing special (at least he targeted Californians)
Butthurt: 10/20 Nobody cared besides some talk show hosts and Democrats
Bonus: 10/20 Anti-garlic sentiment
Total Score: 32/100 (F)
ALL HAIL THE ONION MASTER RACE
See full ranking


Wanted Level:

Mall Cop


See Also

External Links



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Santino William Legan is part of a series on Gun Control
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Pre-2012 Gun Massacres

Columbine 🔫 École Polytechnique 🔫 Dawson College 🔫 Virginia Tech Massacre 🔫 Austin, Texas 🔫 NIU Valentine's Day Massacre 🔫 Hungerford Massacre 🔫 Anders Breivik

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