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Darius McCollum
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WARNING! FACEPALM IMMINENT! This article may cause you to facepalm, because this person is obsessed with trains, possibly sexually. Feel free to make fun of how he'll get arrested again when he gets out of Rikers Island. |
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This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
What happens when you are an aspie and become exposed to the dirty New York City transit system that only overweight Americans use because the traffic is always filled up to the brim and nobody bothers to use the sidewalks to their full potential anymore? You get Darius McCollum. Exposed to trains at a young age according to his mother, little Darius became interested in driving them as the white folks, better known as subway workmen allowed him to operate the trains on a daily basis as a excuse for them to take a break every time they got lazy, since they really hated their job and wanted to let someone who actually knew the job and its ins and outs do it for them.
Arrests
Darius has been arrested by NYC police a whopping total of 32 times so far as early as 1980 when he was a teenager all the way to a more recent time as a fully grown man (2015), and has impersonated transit workers over 100 times. While he was in prison, a psychiatrist (the loony people that you don't listen to) diagnosed him with Aspergers as an adult. Like every aspie who fakes the syndrome, he used this to his advantage as an insanity defense for his mediocre excuse to get out of trouble in correspondence with his weird obsession and became a folk hero to every aspie around the world with similar symptoms, even though no aspie would go that length just to operate trains or buses. It didn't work, as the judges have said to him time and time again that he is capable of controlling his impulses. Just offer the nigger the job if he knows it any better than the employees who are doing it just for the money, jesus christ. Let's hope that when he gets out and gets arrested again, that he's locked up for life without parole to ultimately teach him a valuable life lesson: that dumbasses such as himself, are not accepted in our modern society. He's currently serving a 15 year sentence at Rikers Island, a highly locked down prison. However, this still isn't enough to keep him from doing this once more, and is proof how the mental health system is truly fucked hard.
Efforts
His parents have expressed regret to get him out of the city to lessen his interest. Unfortunately, this didn't work as police wanted to ensure that he stayed inside the city, even though he made efforts to get away from the temptations. This is going to lead him into getting arrested again, and is most likely a ploy by the boys in blue to shoot him as an excuse of "not resisting". He looks a lot like the fat boy with asthma who couldn't breath as police was choking him, so this has a huge possibility of happening some time soon whenever he gets out of prison for being a jackass and delve deep into his urges. If pimple-faced losers can cease to masturbate as a result of participating in some subreddit cult type shit and suddenly become some muscular dude who gets all the girls with one simple touch of a finger, then we are pretty sure that a black man can stop using the trains and buses at all costs to prevent something like this from occurring once again.
Videos
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Conclusion
External Links
News
- #1 Subway Superfan Darius McCollum Arrested For Stealing Bus
- Transit thief Darius McCollum released from prison after stealing Trailways bus
- Police: Man With Long Record Of Transit-Related Arrests Steals Greyhound Bus
- 15 Years in Prison Won't Stop This Subway Fanatic From Stealing More Trains
- Repeat Train Thief Steals Bus at Port Authority, Police Say
Other
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Darius McCollum is part of a series on Aspies. | [Sperg out] |
| Darius McCollum is part of a series on Dying Alone
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