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Armake21
http://replay.web.archive.org/20100817230907/http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Armake21
—Armake21 |
—Armake21, Contradicting himself on his own fucking Youtube channel |
—Armake21, charming the ladIes |
—Armake21 |
Armake21 AKA NicotineAlien, theFAILSessions, BoxedEntertainment21 and TheWaste0Time (Real name: Umberto LaForge and then renamed to Marcus Spiracio after he was adopted) is a vastly overrated, slap headed, hypocritical, egocentric 30-something-year-old, Limp Bizkit's Fred Dunts look-alike video game reviewer whom originated from JewTube.
He is instantly recognizable due to his irritating Rosie O'Donnell voice and his bizarre ability to grow hair on the wrong side of his head.
Armake21 decided to jump on the video game reviewing bandwagon after seeing how popular and rich the Angry Video Game Nerd was becoming and Being the money grabbing Jew that he is, also wanted a slice of the pie, but failed miserably. Marcus has since pointed said failings at everything from the Irate Gamer, to having an unhappy childhood, having his basement flooded several years ago, to being poor. Yet never realizing that it's actually because he can't review for shit and is fucking terrible.
When he's not reviewing games or begging for charitable donations (see below), Marcus SPAGETTIO likes to enjoy drawing pictures of little girls being tied up, convincing little girls he is tying them up and sexing them from several hundred miles away, sponging money from ripping off Irishmen to buy vastly overpriced Alienware PC's, throwing childish tantrums on U-Stream about his jealousy of more talented reviewers, sponging money from female video game reviewers, trying to weasel out of previous statements by saying he was drunk at the time, and sponging off you!!!
Typical Review by Armake21
The majority of Marcus' reviews involve him bitching about broken controls and game mechanics even though the video clearly shows that he plays like shit, probably because he didn't RTFM before playing. He also thinks that being an angry motherfucker who swears a lot is the result of "being in character" and "unique" rather than perpetuating the video game reviewer stereotype (all video game reviewers are 'required to swear and scream no less than 200 times a minute'). He very recently claimed to stop using this character, but we all know that's typical attention whore bullshit.
The Armake21 Pyramid Scheme Investment Program
One day, after suffering from a severe head injury, Marcus came upon a brainwave...
He decided that if YouTube wouldn't pay him royalties for his high quality, entertaining works of brilliance, why not ask his legions of adoring fanboys to see if they'd care to invest in him instead? And thus Armake21's donation program was born.
So Why Should You Invest in Armake21 to make moar Reviews?
Because giving money to Armake21 is a much more worthwhile investment than giving it to a cancer charity, and also has the bonus effect of letting said cancer sufferers enjoy his video antics, as Marcus so valiantly claims in his excellent piece of videotography:
Someone Dareth Question Armake's Cancer Curing Videos
Last Thursday, Armake21 was pwned by some 13 year old JewTube nobody by the name of Gerthonex, The lulz flow like a waterfall.
Gerthonex responded to Armake's batshit insane claims that his videos cure cancer:
—Gerthonex |
Not being the WOP to back down, Armake21 responded with:
—Armake21 |
Gerthonex then replied with:
—Gerthonex |
—Gerthonex |
Sadly, the little bitch never did reply to Gerthonex after that. Oh well.
Armake Sponge-a-thon 2009
—Armake21, Completely missing the point of ED |
Last Thursday, Poor ol' Marky boy decided his (almost) year old $10,000 Alienware PC wasn't good enough anymore, so he devised an evil plan to eBeg some money out of his remaining fans again using a combination of pretending his machine was broken by not pressing the "on" button properly and taking a leaf out of Chris-chan's big book of gaining sympathy, by BAWWWWing about his pain and mental anguish derived from this very own vile, slanderous ED article that dareth mock thy glorious Marcus. All with a pinch of reverse psychology, with Marcus vailaintly proclaiming over and over that he isn't "scamming" or begging for money, even though in full fact he is.
Should his fans decide not to give him another $10,000 for some other overpriced piece of shit. he threatened to make further videos on his slightly not as good laptop instead.
Now this may be a considerable threat if it wasn't for the fact:
1> He only makes a video once every 5 months.
2> Never finishes reviews/projects he promises to fans (*cough* Action 52, "Downloadable DVD", FarCry 2 *Cough*)
3> His videos would be shit even if he used a fucking NASA computer to edit them.
A Challenger Approaches
Recently, a low-life cretin by the name of TheGamingGoose (whom isn't even worthy to lick the dirt off Marcus' boots, let alone a full ED Article), dared have the audacity to mock Armake's gospel comments about the previous statement with his own vile, heathenus video which would later be taken down.
—Armake21 Butthurt, Et Tu Goosey? |
Cloud8745 has enough
As of the 22nd of November 2008, Cloud8745 made a video on his account, NaturalBornGamers, about how Armake had been treating him and his friends like shit. He revealed that he, Armake, LuizPrower, and a few other people worked for a site that gave them money for making videos, and that Armake had begged and whined the owner of the site for a new $13,000 computer. Of course when Armake got it, he bitched and moaned about it for no real reason (ungrateful cunt). More info is in the video.
Armake21, the Second Coming of Christ
Last Thursday, Fagboys got butthurt when Armake21's account was mysteriously closed and all videos were removed. Marcus claimed that his account had been crucified by his slutty bitch of an ex, but in actual fact he did it himself in an emo sympathy vote.
For two days, he remained silent while his fanboys cried for mercy and revival. But on the third day Armake21 arose from the ashes himself to return to YouTube.
His new account, NicotineAlien, contains re-uploads of the same two year old videos and constant empty threats of never doing any more reviews. His fanboys now wait for more of his awesome game reviews so they can go back to choking on Armake21's cock. He also made a movie "Armake21 vs Action52"; he planned to release it in December of 2008.
Well, he did release it no less than a year late. Since then, it has cured no less than 12,000 insomniacs. Armake21 Suspended from, but comes running back like a bitch to Youtube
It's true! Instead of closing his own account, this time Armake received a banhammer for TOS violation, which youtube hands out like baseball flyers.
Fanboys of Armake21 called the fucking waaaaaahbulance! But it was soon revealed to them by Armake21's personal suck up and cock juicer, Trailerboy415, that Armake21 had moved to a site called Gamevee. Turns out that Gamevee was owned by Got Game, which sponsors the Irate Gamer, and as soon as Armake21 moved to Gamevee, they decided to shut it down. And they kept their word.
After which, not satisfied with ripping off bookitty189 and forum admins, and realizing he had no where to go after Gamevee was shut down so that he'd fuck off from it and he can't design a site for shit, Armake21 finally went back to youtube for the third time. Not learning his lesson for getting suspended for copyright violations, Armake21 made a new youtube account, appropriately named theFAILSessions, where he infringes on the copyrights of other youtube users without their consent.
Marcus: The Bitter Years
And thus we come to the current chapter in the life of Marcus Spagettio, a world where his hatred and jealousy of the World has turned him into a twisted, bitter Gollum like creature, whom no longer attempts reviews, but instead mocks easy target lol-cows that were completely milked of Lulz by ED years ago.
So instead of coming off as the hilarious satirical film maker which he envisions in his head, he unfortunately just comes across as a fucking terrible Retsupurae rip-off and bitter cunt.
How the Mighty Have Fallen...
Oh, and Marcus, If you're reading this, leeching off others good reputations, by teaming up with them because your own is in tatters isn't a way of reinventing yourself. You'll just drag them down into the primordial shit soup you're currently in as well.
The Future
So what does the future hold for our slap-headded egocentric chum? Well suffice to say, as long as someone out there in the video game community can come up with some fad that's half-popular, you can bet old Marky-boy will be following it up six months later with his own half-assed, shitty rendition!
Scratch that, he's back! AGAIN!
DUN-DUN-DUNNNNN! When will it ever work out for him?
A couple of our agents have tried to contact Marcus for comment, but he has yet to return any of our Private Messages.
Dox
Name: Umberto LaForge / Marcus Sparacio
Home Address: 6953 179th Street, Fresh Meadows NY, 11365
Phone Number: 718-380-0113
E-mail Address: [email protected]
Instant Messenger: NeoHunter008
Skype: VIIIEightyOne recently changed to NicotineHell after claiming that someone hacked his old one shortly after it was posted here changed back to VIIIEightyOne after claiming to get it back from "the hackers" while admitting that his skype account had never actually been hacked
Something Awful Username: NicotineHell changed to Marc0
UStream Channel: Boxed Entertainment Live
YouTube Accounts
- Armake21's YouTube Account LOL B&!!!!!
- Gamevee Account (Gamvee destroyed their whole site rather than put up with Armake's fagottry)
- Latest Endeavour: TheFailSessions - Armake21's newest attempt at plagiarism. Note the appropriate name. UPDATE!: Rumored that it is going to become an hero.
- Armake21's newest account on YouTube.
External Links
- viii-eightyone deviantART Gallery (Featuring creepy loli bondage)
- Pax Bisonika
- Personal Blog
- UStream Channel
See Also
- TheSpoonyExperiment - "Influenced" by Armake21 to make videos, but now just as bat-shit insane.
- AkewsticRockR
- Alexander4488
- Angry Video Game Nerd
- Butthurt
- Gamer
- LeisureSuitGaming
- Nerd Rage
- PC Gamer
- PissedOffVideoGamer
- Raymond45154
- TheGamingGoose
- UrinatingTree
- Video Game Reviewers
- YouTube
- YouTube Nobodies
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Armake21 is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |