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Dong Yangling
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| Dong Yangling | |
| Born | 1973 |
| Died | January 8th, 1994 (aged 20) |
| Nationality: | Ching Chong 
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| Highscore | Killed 61, injured 17 |
| Top 50? | 12th |
| Style | Fire Emblem, Single player |
| An Hero? | No, executed |
| Motive | Pissed off over getting fired |
Dong Yangling was a massive Chink troll that got fired from her job at a textile factory for stealing and was so fucking pissed off at the degenerate bourgeoisification of glorious China that she did what many azns do and went for the high score on December 13, 1993. Not only was this attempt successful unlike numerous other fail female scorers, she was able to do oudo hall of famers like Brenton Tarrant, Stephen Paddock, Andrew Kehoe, and her fellow cat-eating perpetrators of the Zhaodong Massacre! You go girl!
Dong, The Flaccid Years
Because of draconian Chink media, we don't know a super duper lot about Dong's life, but we can paint a better picture than William Unek's. Dong was erected in idklol 1973. Her parents were cheap ass crypto-jews, small traders and poorfags who would get muniez by begging and mooching off of relatives. Dong would take after these excellent role models and repeat this behavior as she got older. Whenever she visited a relative, she'd beg for five dorra, which her parents would praise her for. Because they were SOOOOOOO POOR, Dong didn't even graduate elementary school and later dropped out entirely since she couldn't afford the tuition. She looked for jobs numerous times, but was too much of a gold digging bitch to make them last. If only she was born in a capitalist country. Things would look up for the slant-eyed banshee though, as some relatives would set her up with a job at the Gaofu Textile Factory (more jew-like nepotism). This was pretty kickass since it was basically a star enterprise, and the welfare benefits and wages were better than other chink cloth companies. At first she was happy to work there, but then she STILL fucked it up by being a greedy bitch. Can this bitch ever learn a lesson? Basically, she started off by stealing tiny scraps of cotton and shit and sell them in the market, but she couldnt help herself and stole more and more. Not only that but the bitch haxx0rd the yarn spinners to sabotage them, so she could steal all of the cotton and sell it. The workers were understandably mad and reported Dong for hax. The mods at first reprimanded Dong gently. She didn't give a shit and continued being a thief until she stole a bunch of acrylic yarn, and FINALLY they told her to knock it off and give it back. She threw a tantrum and said anything the factory didn't want was her's, and added she had already sold it anyway. You can guess what happened after that. She then hatched her epic revenge plot, and enacted it that December...
Gaofuck Yourself
Loadout
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| Item | Accessories/Bonus |
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Dong had had enough of her mistreatment. She figured that if she couldn't steal and get chinkbux whenever she wanted from the factory, she might as well treat it like Aaron Bushnell. During the early morning, while the unsuspecting chinks were probably dying in future Liveleak footage, she snuck in MGS style and did what Lord Xenu put her on Earth to do- throw a match on some cotton yarn and set the place ablaze. Not wanting to become an heroine, she quickly GTFO back home. L8r firefighters came to put out the flame war, and in total the damage costed about 3.8 million Yuan. Not only that, 61 workers got fragged as well. The po-po were called to the scene, and after a fierce, long, arduous investigation, they determined the bitch who just got fired from the place was a good suspect. Dong, feeling guilty, confessed to the arson, and was promptly v&. The mods were so fucking pissed at her griefing they decided to execute her ass. STILL NOT LEARNING HER LESSON, Dong defended herself by saying if the factory hadn't fired her, she wouldn't have went on her lulz spree. The mods accepted her explanation before serverbanning her ass. During this, she shouted "Unjust!" before making like a dog in China and dying.
Graded Score
| Kill count: | 61/20 Ho Lee Fuck |
|---|---|
| Accuracy: | 18/20 17 injured, but still tons of frags |
| Style: | 17/20 Chink Solid Snake style |
| Butthurt: | 17/20 So pissed off they executed her! |
| Bonus: | 20/20 Kentucky Fried Chinks, also took the high score away from two chinks in 1989 |
Wanted Level:
___________________
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___________________
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See also
- Anders Behring Breivik - Almost beat him
- John Earnest - N00b who attempted to burn down a mosque
- Walter Seifert - Kraut, also played on the Fire Emblem mode
- Woo Bum-kon - fellow azn high scorer she outdid
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Dong Yangling is related to a series on AZNS. | [Herrow] |
| Dong Yangling is part of a series on Dying Alone
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