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Steve Stephens
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This page relies entirely on facts. Fact Cat knows this because of his learnings. Sorry for the lack of dick jokes. |
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—The Eloquent final words uttered by Steve Stephens. | ||
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|---|---|
| Steve Stephens | |
| Born | December 10, 1979 |
| Died | April 18, 2017 (aged 37) |
| Nationality: | Americunt 
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| Birthplace | Cleveland, Ohio |
| Highscore | Killed 1, injured 0 |
| Top 50? | Absolutely not! |
| Style | FPS, Single player |
| An Hero? | Yes |
On the 10th anniversary of the Virginia Tech Massacre, April 16th, 2017, a pudgy, tall, black nigga who goes by the alternate names of The Cleveland Stever and The Cleveland StReamer, better known by his government name Steve "Stevie Steve" Stephens (we shit you not over here at ED, that is his actual nickname) who is believed to be a reincarnigger of a slightly skinnier, girlfriend-having Chris Dorner with ample facial hair was in the process of building up his resume of homicide and decided that he was going to get caught soon enough anyways. Inspired by his butt buddy from a few years ago, Vester Lee Flanagan, Steve decided to livestream his obviously failed attempt at the High Score, and he walked up to a random old black guy in the street, shooting the motherfucker in the goddamn face when he placed his hands up in fear, killing him instantly. Calmly walking away from the scene, Steve returned to his car and drove off into the sunset.
He was wanted with a 3 star level, and was found to have crossed the state lines over to Erie, a city barely anybody knows exists that is located in the conservative gun-friendly state of Pennsylvania, where he suicided after being on the run for two days straight.
In order to act like a true badass, he claimed that he killed 10+ people including the old nignog in his first manifesto, but this was quickly proved to be false by local police. The most credible motive for his actions is the fact that he was a resident of Cleveland, Ohio. If you lived there, you'd want to kill a bunch of niggas and blow your brains out after being chased by police in a merry-go-round, too. Contrary to popular belief, he did not have any history of mental illnesses or suicidal or homicidal thoughts. Except, you know, when he talked to it with his mommy and she didn't care about him enough to listen.
Gameplay Footage
Why He Did This
Supposedly, he was being a little bitch about his girlfriend, Joy Lane, breaking up with him. He assumed a false sense of reality on himself and believed that they were going to be in love forever and married, even going to lengths to call his murder spree the "Easter Sunday Joy Lane Massacre". They are both deformed in the face, anyway, so nobody could see how she would break up with him in the damn first place. A image was spread around Twitter of him filing for bankruptcy since he mindlessly blew all his money gambling at a casino. The irony of this entire story is that he was working as a vocational specialist at a child's mental health facility, when he was the one that actually had to get help himself since the dude was fucked up. On top of all that, his family didn't give two shits about what he was going through (mentioned again later). People started confusing Joy with a C-list comedian who later put out a statement on Facebook that she was not affiliated with the fatty fatty boom-boom:
—The wrong Joy Lane | ||
Much information was thrown around on social media without giving two shits about whether it was credible or not, therefore nobody knew what to believe. Despite local police giving updates as the event flew by, they did not tweet any more after they said they were going to do so. Overall, he blames his ex and mother for the event, saying that the latter refused to pay attention to him when he was in the most emotional distress. He did not want to be the "butt of the jokes" anymore, even though jokes are something that is not meant to be taken seriously and even further proves our point that he was just being a little crybaby that didn't get what he wanted. At the end of the day, Black Lives Matter supporters are going to defend him regardless of him committing a murder in broad daylight and say some ebonics shit along the lines of "NIGGA HE JUS TRYNA GO OUT AND GIV DAT WRINKLY ASS BLAK MAN SOME HELP WHYCOME HE THE VICTIM IN THIS SHEEIT".
Social Media Response
People have to make everything a race issue, but since this was black on black violence despite the old man not being your typical gangster, nobody really cared. Other niggers are making videos of Steve and making roasts out of him and his pictures, although this does jack shit to help the manhunt that has now been declared a national one and further contradicts the point of his manifesto, since he keeps moving throughout states without being detected. All we know is that he's wanted dead or alive, for $50,000. Knowing that he's stupid enough to talk with detectives shortly after the shooting occurred, it's presumed that he reenacted this event in a Grand Theft Auto game and is just waiting for his 5 star wanted level to quietly dumb down right about now. Cleveland residents also streamed themselves driving around the city and listening to the various police scanners in order to find Steve since it was apparent that the government wasn't doing their job right, but this only resulted in them getting a cease and desist, since they were acting as vigilantes. JewTube also closed any stream attempting to even mention the event in question and went against the First Amendment, preventing old media from talking about it on the site at all.
Neighbor's Response
His neighbors were not remotely surprised regarding him going batshit crazy that afternoon. One person in particular, Tony Henderson, who lived across the street from Steve for decades, told some New York newspaper company that Steve was very up and down; possibly from borderline personality disorder, from what we can gather. He even participated in an act of animal abuse, as Henderson recalled that Steve hit his pet parakeet so hard that he thought that it had died. The bird slowly crawled from its cage to his finger when he just bitch-slapped it for no logical reason and it fell to the ground, smiling at Tony and laughing as he did so. He was also assumed to have tortured other pets that he had at the time. Local residents recall him as the "slimy" loser who lured women in with a pet python as a teenager, attempting to use it as a "bizarre" party trick. A next-door neighbor, Alexis Lee, recalled Steve hitting on her frequently at certain moments inside the casino he lost all his money in, like the certifiable dumbass he is who kept his phone on the whole time not realizing that it could be pinged by the towers. Think if Chris-Chan was a bald, tall black man and gun enthusiast with fully-grown facial hair, and still couldn't get a girlfriend despite being okay in the face and still overweight in everything else.
"Manifesto"
4Chan Post
Similar to how Chris Mercer and several other mass shooters made obligatory 4chan posts before they went for the high score, it is believed but not yet confirmed that Steve made a 
thread on r9gay.
Rap
YO DIS IS STEVIE-STEVE AND I'M HERE TO SAY
MY BITCH BROKE MY HEART AND SOMEONE GONNA PAY
I SAW AN OLD NIGGA WALKIN DOWN THE STREET
SO SHOT 'IM IN THE FACE AND KNOCKED 'IM OFF HIS FEET
MY FAMILY DON' LOVE ME CUZ I'MMA MONSTER THATS PO'
SO NOW THEY NEXT AFTER I BEAT OMAR'S SCO'
Death
Just settling in to the afternoon of April 18, Steve drove into the drive-thru of a McDonalds (not sure why he wanted that as his last meal) in Erie, Pennsylvania, the very place that his phone was pinged at before and ordered a 20-piece Chicken McNugget meal for his lunch. He was spotted by a employee sitting in the drive-thru and purposely made him wait for his fries so they could have enough time to call police. Being impatient and wary that the whole country was on his ass, FBI included, he said that he had to go and drove off into wherever the fuck once more. Stuffing his face with the food while driving, another employee immediately called 911 and police found him instantly, since they couldn't find him before for the 2 damn days. It was a brief chase for two miles that stopped when he remembered ED and became an hero to us all, shooting himself in the head as quickly as possible as a unit performed a pit maneuver on him.
—Pennsylvania State Police | ||
Graded Score
| Kill count: | 1/20 (n00b) |
|---|---|
| Accuracy: | 14/20 One Shot One Kill |
| Style: | 6/20 Single-player Assault and weak targets |
| Butthurt: | 12/20 Killed innocent old man, Gambling debts, Girlfriend problems, sounded like a Douche. |
| Bonus: | 16/20 Coward style, Hide, Ignore, Do Not Reply, McDonalds last meal, whole nation search. |
Wanted Level:
Federal Bureau of Investigation
Gallery
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Say my name, say my name... if no one is around you, say "baby I love you"... -
Hands up, don't shoot! -
POP POP WATCHIN NIGGAS DROP -
State of Ohio dumping laws dictates that a sign reading "Dead Nigger Storage" must be present, otherwise storage is illegal. -
And that's the name of the game.
See Also
- Nigger
- Postal
- Mass Shooting
- Chris Dorner
- Vester Lee Flanagan
- Hatred (Video Game) - Apparently it's the game he was trying to reenact.
External Links
His Social Media
- His YouTube channel, since he was too stupid to have a custom URL
Twitter account
News
- Easter Massacre: Black Guy Driving Around Cleveland Killing Random People, Streaming on FB
- Joy Lane, Steve Stephens’ Girlfriend: 5 Fast Facts You Need to Know
- Steve ‘Stevie Steve’ Stephens: 5 Fast Facts You Need to Know
- Robert Godwin, Sr.: 5 Fast Facts You Need to Know
- Cleveland murder suspect Steve Stephens kills himself after pursuit
- Facebook murder suspect recognized at McDonald’s after ordering McNuggets; employee alerted police
- Cleveland Facebook killer Steve Stephens ‘TORTURED his pets’ and racked up £30,000 in gambling debts before filming himself randomly shooting dead OAP
Other
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Steve Stephens |
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[Xbox]
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| Steve Stephens is part of a series on Dying Alone
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| Featured article April 22, 2017 | ||
| Preceded by Columbiners |
Steve Stephens | Succeeded by DaddyOFive |
| Featured article April 26 & 27, 2017 | ||
| Preceded by DaddyOFive |
Steve Stephens | Succeeded by Joss Whedon |