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Jake Davison: Difference between revisions

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*'''Perks''': Inceldom. '''25+ Damage against Women and Children'''
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Revision as of 17:55, 24 September 2021

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This page contains an hero.

The subject of this article is a virgin with rage.


Jake Davison
Nationality: Britfag  
Highscore Killed 5, injured 2
Top 50? No
Style FPS, Single player
An Hero? Yes


Jake Davison (otherwise known as Jake3572 and Professor Waffle), was a basement-dwelling incel who decided to shoot up his neighborhood in Plymouth, UK, on August 12, 2021. Motivated by misanthropy and a hatred of women (especially his mother), he set out to commit the lulziest High Score since Derrick Bird's escapade ten years before (with a shitty pump action shotgun). However, he would ultimately fall short, only getting 5 frags before an heroing. Despite the low kill count, incels will most likely be put in the international spotlight again, and Britain will most likely ban all guns this time.

Background

Yes, you are in fact ugly!

Before the shooting, Jake had complained about being alone and had posted workout videos on his since-deleted JEWTube channel.

However, on his Reddit, he was more unfiltered, complaining about women (in particular his mother), and lamented at the thought of being an incel. He would make posts and comments against women and society on incel-related subreddits, including but not limited to: r/doomer (See removed posts: 1, 2)[1], r/IncelsInAction (See removed posts: 1, 2), r/IncelExit (See removed posts: 1, 2), r/virgin (See removed posts: 1, 2)[2], and r/UglyUncensored (See removed posts: 1, 2)[3]. He had also made several comments on r/conservative (See removed posts: 1, 2), that speculated that the media were really the ones responsible for mass shootings, even going as far as mentioning the Hungerford Massacre by name.

A week before the shooting, Jake uploaded a video to his since-deleted YouTube channel, where he ranted about being done with everything and wanting to end it all. He also mentioned that he was going to be "the next Terminator". In this time, he also ranted against his mother for "taking" his Aspie money (yes, really) that was given to him by the government.

A day before the shooting, Reddit baleeted his account for sexually harassing a 16-year old girl[4]. Knowing Jake's obsession with the neckbeard side of Reddit, this is most likely what set him off to go on a killing spree.

Britbongistan's Gun Laws

Due to the escapades of Michael Ryan and Thomas Hamilton, guns are very hard to get in the UK. As a result, most of the High Scores in the United Kingdom have either been trucks of peace, knives of peace, or bombs of peace. However, if one chooses to go the mass shooting route for their UK High Score run, they first would be facing a limited arsenal selection, as any kind of semi-automatic weapon (handguns and rifles) is banned in the land of Engs. Should one get their hands on either a revolver or a bolt-action rifle, they are limited to .22 caliber only, as every other caliber is also banned in the UK. Pump-action shotguns are somewhat less restricted in the UK, which is the route Jake decided to take.

Even if one manages to get a firearm in England, they then have to be subjected to a background check, which includes a check on all social media (we wouldn't expect anything less from Airstrip One). Naturally, this should've barred Jake from getting a firearm, but it is unclear why the bobbies decided to drop the ball, especially since they have no problem persecuting anyone who has committed the crime of wrongthink.

Jake actually had his gun taken away in December 2020, due to him bopping a couple of chavs over the head, but his guns were returned to him a month before the shooting, after he completed an anger management course.

The Shooting

Just before the shooting, Jake was having an argument with his mum, with her most likely telling him that he had a sad and pathetic existence. So in response, he killed his mom with a pump action shotgun, killing the woman he seemingly hated the most.

From there, after most likely thinking "eh fuck it, might as well get some more while I'm at it", he decided to take his incel rage out to the streets, first killing a father and his 3-year old daughter (he wounded them at first, then shot them each at point blank range). He then continued his walk of death to a nearby park, shooting anybody he saw along the way, killing 2 more people. After shooting his final victim, Jake came to the realization that the constables are most likely on their way, so he decided to do what he should've done in the first place; an hero. With this final act, he died as the way he lived, a virgin who couldn't score.

Aftermath

Besides the usual condemnation from roasties and feminists who drum the usual beat of "ZOMG muh evil straight white males", most of the reactions so far have come from people who are wondering why the hell the British authorities dropped the ball on Jake. Namely, why he was allowed to keep his guns when he had documented anger issues and mental illness.

It's too early to determine the long term ramifications of Jake's actions, but we here at ED are predicting two things will likely come from this: The UK will likely follow in the footsteps of Canuckistan and declare incels as a terror threat, and Britain will most likely tighten gun laws even further.

Loadout

Class Setup
Item Accessories/Bonus
  • Primary: Shotgun
  • Britbong Hunting shotgun. 69-125 Damage.
  • Perks: Inceldom.
  • 25+ Damage against Women and Children

Graded Score

Graded Score
Kill count: 5/20 5 dead, 2 injured
Accuracy: 17/20
Style: 10/20 Unoriginal mass shooting, in a country that hasn't seen one in at least a decade.
Butthurt: 10/20 Moderate amount of butthurt in the UK, nobody cares anywhere else.
Bonus: 20/20 Lulziest UK High Score since Derrick Bird
Total Score: 62/100 (D)
Not bad, but not the best.
See full ranking


Wanted Level:
___________________

___________________

Constabulary


Gallery

Videos


External Links

See Also

References

Jake Davison
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An Heroes

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Failures

Adf-fuensalidaAhuviya HarelAlek MinassianAmber ButtrumAmy BishopAnton BichivinAriana RaykottoAudrey HaleAydin PaladinBernie MadoffBrandon ClarkBrenda SpencerBrian ClydeBrian ConnorsBrooke HigginsCampo DelgadoCharles ZieseCobanermani456Colonel McBadassCrystal ShinkleDavid GrayDeWayne CraddockDimitrios PagourtzisDmitry VinogradovDylann RoofGabe ParkerGeorge StinneyHugo JacksonIlnaz GalyavievImma-The-DeerJakrapanth ThommaJames HubertyJamethJarrod RamosJeffree MoonJessica EvertJonathan RossJoseph CampJustin-anonLindsay SouvannarathLolo FerrariMamoru TakumaMartin BryantMary BellMichael CarnealMichael GimsonMissyMychal BellNeograntNikkineko333Nikolas CruzNoah EsbensenNuzzieKomaOwen WilsonPikacat39PogoRooRainBoy107Richard ReidRandan FontaineRex FowlerRobert CrimoRobert LongSalvador RamosShaan SinghShinji AobaSirtom93SneakylizardStephen FryTakeShotActionTimur BekmansurovTJ LaneToaster SteveTom PrestonTooDamnFilthyTumbles the StairdragonViper

Related Pages

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Jake Davison is part of a series on Are You Ready? [GAME OVERInsert Coin] Go!
Jake Davison is part of a series on Dying Alone

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Jake Davison
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The Pride of Britain [-+]
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