Johnny Somali
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WARNING! Around blacks, never relax! |
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JAILED OUTSIDE OF THE USA, LOL |
Johnny Somali (Powerword: Ramsey Khalid Ismael, aka ジョニー・ソマリ and 조니 소말리) or BKA "That Dumbass Nigger" is a Twitch streamer who sank to the bottom of the lows. In fact, Johnny is so hated, he managed to unite the Koreans and the Japanese—two groups who otherwise hate one another—and convince them to set aside their historical differences in order to work together and save the rest of the world from Johnny's nonsense.
Even more humiliating on his part, the Joos and the Aryan Brotherhood had a momentary ceasefire because his Douchbaggery, it's a word-look it up, achieved such new levels that even the Cicumcised and uncircumcised had a common interest for 5 minutes.
How the hell does on fuck up so badly? Well, you could start by being like Johnny and become your own worst enemy; the only person who could cancel him is he himself... and he's doing a pretty damn good job of it.
Power Word
Johnny's Powerword is Ramsey Khalid Ismael. Apparently he hates being called that... so we're gonna call him that throughout this article. He's also not Somali, he's very obviously Ethiopian.
Trip to Japan
Actually, we here at Encyclopedia Dramatica have been saying the same shit he was saying in Japan so we can't really point a finger at him and say, "Bad Nigger".
First he would get on buses and Subways and call the Japanese Spineless, backstabbing bitches for Pearl Harbor, pretty much what everyone that visits this site does every December 7 on Twitter or other social media sites.
Basically the, "Yeah you bitches, we'll watch your Animu, buy your Porn, lust over your Flatchested women and wish we were one of you by becoming Weeaboos and ending every sentence with "Ne" or calling everything we buy from you "Kawaii" but were still pissed about Pearl Harbor."
Another thing he did was stand in front of the Hiroshima Peace Memorial and praised the US for bombing Hiroshima and Nagasaki and that we should do it again. We agree with the Hiroshima and Nagasaki part but for round 2 we want differant cities. We like Yokohama and Osaka. Those 2 cities are our official picks.
The rest is just uninteresting, normal, everyday, nigger stuff. Tresspassing and playing loud music. Overall, we're unimpressed. Ramsey started out with promise in Japan but just fizzled out.
Trip to Israel
Was an asshole, got in trouble, fled. Had zero regrets. Gets a thumbs up 👍 from us.
Trip to Korea
So, you have yourself a Nigger in an Azn land, with a Muslim sounding name, full of the yellow, sideways gash what do you get? Well the nigger part will usually get you a rapist but the Muslim part will get you kiddie crimes and surprise, despite all of the Bullshit that he did do in South Korea, he did get arrested for playing Creepy Uncle
Comfort Woman Statue
So about 15 years ago, the Korean government made like 40 statues dedicated to all the Korean women and girls used as fuck toys by the Imperial Japanese military during World War II.
It's a very sensetive issue in Korea, as anywhere between 50k-200k women across the Glorious Japanese Empire readily volunteered for these positions. Hey, it doesn't matter if you agree to do it with a Gun to your head, you still had the option of saying No and taking a bullet to the head. It's simple, No. See I just said No, that word that you hear every day from girls.
Being the IRL trolls that they are, South Korea actually suggests that their soldiers guarding the North Korean border actually eat Food in places where they know that they'll be observed by North Korean Soldiers and throw it away, tossing it over the fence into the DMZ. They're such jokers.
In their spirit of Doing shit for the lulz the South Korean government thought it would be REALLY lulzy to place one of these statues in front of the Japanese Embassy in Seoul just for Shits And Giggles.
This is an issue that not even the good people of Aurora, Colorado would want to fuck with... so whether you respect the history of these statues or you're one of those of advanced intellects who know that all Wimmins are Asking for it and lie about the rape part (just like all those Professional Jew-ish liars that made up this thing called the Holocaust and can't produce bodies, agree on the number that were "Supposedly Killed or even point out that if someone was killing off their rat-faced people, wouldn't they be killing other people too? Seriously, every Holocaust movie is about the Joos. If this Holocaust thing were real wouldn't this half-Jew, pretending to be a part of the Master Race, named Hitler be killing off Slavs because their food sucks, Fags because - well you really don't need a reason to kill them, Gypsies because they're more slippery than a Jew, hard to believe but it is True or Autistic people just for the fun of it? No Jew ever talks, writes or makes a movie about them so you know this Holocaust thing is a lie.) With all that said, you know how people get when someone doesn't respect their Lie.
Looking for views, a crazy idea went through his Underdeveloped black brain. Ramsey Khalid Ismael thought it would be SUPER FUCKING FUNNY if he started streaming himself making out with one of statues, and then Diddying himself up with baby oil, dancing with one of them and then going for broke and squirting his Baby Gravy all over another.
We mean CMON the South Koreans can't be that much differant from the Japanese!
It's in their nature to just accept shit because the Buddha teaches that one should refuse to accept an insult. By refusing to see something as an insult you're just silenyly telling that person that they're an Asshole. Like Christ taught, even the Buddha Plagiarized this lesson, always respond with kindness.
Yeah! We know how well that lesson is applied in our every day lives. No one gives a Fuck about love or inner peace and that's why our Justice systems favor vengence over rehabilitation.
The Sex Crimes
We know what you're here for you fucking Perverts.
We're giving it to you, here in the middle because media rules say that you'll read through the beginning and keep on reading if we put the good stuff in the middle. That's why you usually have to read through the Shit until you get to what you want to see, except with us. We're always interesting.
Less interesting is Ramsey Khalid Ismael being investigated for using a type and speak translator to talk dirty to Little Girls on a bus. Nothing came out of the investigation but we can hear you thinking, "What did he say? What did he say?"
No one knows and that's probably one of the reasons why Ramsey Khalid Ismael avoided charges. That 1 flickering Nigger braincell of his probably lit up and told him to not post those videos online.
He's a dumb ass jungle runner so just wait until he gets out of prison, if he gets out, and he'll most likely post them earning him an extradition back to South Korea for that. It will happen. The US will throw his ass under the bus because people are getting sick of Dumbasses making these Howard Stern\Jackass wannabe, moronic videos like playing grab ass with Marines just to get punched in the face for views and likes on Youtube and other sites.
Now for the deep fakes.
It seems that South Korea actually has laws against creating AI videos of You having sex with someone. They call it digital Rape?????? Aren't you glad you don't live in South Korea? You can keep going on making those videos of you having Sex with Kenzi Richardson with her fake Vampire teeth in you Sick Fucks.
The worst of his charges was when he was hit with two counts of distributing deepfakes. In one he posted himself, giving himself an AI enhanced cock to his his Micropenis and having sex with a South Korean streamer named BongBongIRL. More like BangBangMe_love_you_long_time MIRITE?
With his second victim, Ramsey Khalid Ismael showed himself for the Fag that he is by posting AIslop of him tongue kissing Male South Korean streamer YungMan.
Like the Bitch nigger that comes in acting all hard and then crying like a little Bitch at sentencing about how he already learned his lesson, Ramsey Khalid Ismael did the same exact thing.
Luckily, Ramsey Khalid Ismael was given lenancy because YungMan said he would drop charges for an unknown settelment, Most likely Ramsey Khalid Ismael having to peel YungMan's Yellow Banana. The prosecutor refused to accept this agreement and kept the charges in place but the judge did factor this in.
Ramsey Khalid Ismael's second wind of luck came from the lesson that we keep trying to Teach you idiot XX Women, yeah real women. Not a Penis in a dress. ¡¡¡QUIT BEING SUCH FUCKING WHORES ONLINE!!!
It seems FuckFuck, we mean BangBang had her Whorish nature factored into Ramsey Khalid Ismael's sentencing.
FuckFuck is known for selling nudes of herself online because she has bought into that feminist bullshit that being a whore online is empowering. Ladies. You accept a Penis in a dress as a woman now. Ask yourself. Who's saying this?
What also aided Ramsey Khalid Ismael is that FuckFuck also went online and said, "I'm not bothered one fuck like these uptight Korean women would be about someone posting an AIslop fake of me getting fucked in the ass."
In other words, a whore's words saved his skinny ass from getting A Bone In The Hole for 25 years down to getting ass raped for only 6 months.
Shop Menace
This is just your basic Obnoxious Nigger stuff. Think riding on a subway car when you get three or more Blacks in the same car. The monkey gene takes over and they feel a sudden need to place themselves in the alpha position.
Being the only nigger in a 3 mile radius, Ramsey Khalid Ismael's balls dropped and he felt the need to prove himself.
Like we said, Obnoxious nigger stuff.
Ramsey Khalid Ismael thinks he's being a hardcore, street nigger by pouring the soup half of a cup of Ramen Noodles on a table. Dancing badly, Playing loud music. Throwing Ramen Noodles and making Internet Tough Guy gestures behind people's backs because he's such a hardcore nigger but smart enough to know that South Korea has mandatory military service so he wants to avoid taking a roundhouse kick to his face and letting everyone see him cry like a little bitch with a skinned knee on his livestream.
He might have to spend 30 days in jail in the US for this stupid shit but it really didn't amount to anything. This is most likely the reason that shit eaters like him go to Azn countries because they follow the Public School System of America's Bully rule. If you know where the line is and don't cross it, you won't get in trouble."
"Come And Find Me"
"Now youse can't leave"
Well, the Korean police confiscated his US Passport while they investigate all of his crimes (the crimes he broadcast on the internet for everyone to see). But that's OK, Ramsey still has his Purple Emergency Passport! They can't keep him in country for long! ... I mean, that WOULD work if it weren't for the fact that pretty much every airport in Korea has his name on a list and they'll realize he's trying to flee.
So now what? Ramsey is under investigation. Big deal? He'll just beat the charges like OJ Simpson did! Yeah but, one, Ramsey isn't a multimillionaire after making at least two Naked Gun films (also some sports thing, I dunno), and two, he's in South Korea, with completely different laws than in the US. First off, the Korean police COULD have just arrested him and stuffed him in a cell until is court date, but that would mean feeding and clothing the fucker. It's actually FUNNIER if they just let him free in Korea, having to pay for everything himself. And since he can't leave, he only has a visitor visa (not a work visa) and all of his streaming accounts are slowly being banned, Ramsey doesn't really have much of a chance to survive make his time. Bro's cooked.
But c'mon, he's just a dumb American! We have different standards of humor! The Koreans can't give him on anything, right? Well, here's just a short list of his list of actual—technically alleged—crimes that he actually livestreamed himself doing (at least the most obvious ones):
- obstruction of business (업무방해/業務妨害; when he threw his noodle and beer around a shop like a chimp thowing his feces)
- drug use (found when he was arrested and they took either a blood or urine sample to find out)
- anti-terrorism laws (openly stating on text-to-speech 나에겐 폭탄이 있다. "I have a bomb.")
- violating the National Security Act (repeatedly broadcasting North Korean music and other propaganda)
- deep faking images of a sexual nature (Ramsey posted a fake video of him making out an a Korean streamer; this violates a relatively new addition to the Sexual Violence Prevention and Victims Protection Act that makes is a crime to possess or watch them)
Oh and plenty of potential harassment charges as well; apparently if you or a loved one appeared in a "Johnny Somali" video and were harassed by him, you can bring this up to the police and they'll happily add an additional charge against him.
Now whether or not he'll actually get hit with ALL of them is pretty slim. But regardless of what happens, here's a few things to consider:
- whether he gets probation or actual prison time, he needs to serve that in South Korea
- if he's on probation for X years, he's stuck in South Korea for that entire time, almost like how probation works in the USA
- even if he somehow escapes Korea to, say, back to the United States, the US and South Korea have an extradition treaty with one another, so his ass is going straight back
- if he gets prison time, he's really just gonna go to foreigner prison (not regular Korean people's prison) and pick cabbages all day
- despite the fact that, traditionally, Korean sentencing of foreigners has been pretty light, the Korean government is in a unique position to make an example of Ramsey
- because he's an unrepentant nuisance streamer who openly admits he doesn't care about anything, deporting him will just ensure he'll go to a fourth country and become their problem
- South Korea is in a unique position to do the entire world a solid by keeping him in a foreign country with no legal means to earn a living and no way to leave
- South Korea also has a new anti-AI/deepfake law that they want to maybe give it some teeth and Johnny is the perfect person to apply it to
- deporting Ramsey will be the worst thing the South Korean government could do; apart from the fact that he'll just make a fourth country their problem, but the current government led by President Yoon is super unpopular, and the last thing they need is to let Ramsey free in the face of so much public outcry for his head on a silver platter. Yoon and company will likely go for the easy dub and crucify Ramsey.
Soooooo I dunno about you but Ramsey's fate is sealed. Please South Korea—shall we say, BASED Korea—do the world a solid and... allow him to escape punishment by sending him to North Korea! That'll be fucking HILARIOUS.
So What Is His Major Malfunction?
Now as you might have noticed by now, here at Encyclopedia Dramatica we aren't afraid to call someone a "nigger" or "faggot" to explain why they are the way they are. But Ramsey's behavior can't be explained away by simply saying "well he's just a nigger faggot!". Nor can we just consider him a "typical Amerimutt goblin". Ramsey's behavior is something deeper than all of that. In fact, calling him anything like that would be too good for Ramsey; he doesn't deserve those labels.
No, Ramsey is the simplest of simple men. He doesn't even have two brain cells to fight for third place. He even says it himself: the only reason why he's doing what he's doing is for the clout, for the money! And that's what pisses everyone off the most, because you can't fit him into that typical nigger/faggot/Amerimutt/etc paradigm. He is undefinable, an enigma. He's not even doing what he does for the lulz! What a sad and pathetic existence, and that's something coming from us. But hey, at least he's going to be stuck in a country where he'll spend the prime years of his life in, not able to earn a single won doing what he loves and instead being ordered around by people who will outright reject speaking English to him (even though they probably could)... which is probably the funniest thing he'll ever get to do. And they say the universe is cruel and unfair.