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Luigi Mangione

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Conspiracy Alert
The subject of this article is the victim of a massive conspiracy by the Social Mafia. You should trust noone and come to your own conclusions after careful consideration of the facts.
This article is paid for by taxpayers like you.
Thanks, America.
If you live in the New York area, law enforcement would like you to know that it is very important that you do not educate yourself on jury nullification.


Luigi Mangione
Born May 6, 1998 (26 years old)
Nationality: Americunt  
Class Paladin
Highscore Minibosses: 1
Exp. $49 Million - ? Billion
Unlocked Infinite Pussy
Top 50? Yes
Style FPS, Single player
An Hero? No
Motive Retaliation against United Healthcare
   
 
This is completely unjust and an insult to the intelligence of the American people and their lived experience!
 

 
 

—Luigi Mangione

In the sleek halls of midtown Manhattan's business district, where power suits and overpriced lattes reign supreme, few dared to question the untouchable fortress that is corporate America—until Luigi Nicholas "Mangina" Mangione decided to write his own chapter.

Gameplay Footage

A Modern-Day Teddy K?

Mangione, a valedictorian with CompSci degrees from the University of Pennsylvania, seemed destined for the Silicon Valley dream: stock options, a standing desk, and ethically dubious startup ventures. But somewhere between algorithm optimization and attending fraternity mixers, Luigi had an epiphany. Why dismantle the system through code when you can take a more... direct approach?

Armed with a "ghost gun" (because traditional firearms are so passé), Mangione allegedly set out to challenge the corporate overlords one CEO at a time. His target? Brian Thompson, a titan in the healthcare industry and embodiment of the capitalist ideal. The execution—both literal and figurative—was as calculated as any boardroom merger: wait, strike, and vanish into the crowd, leaving the NYPD scratching their heads balls.

Brian Thompson was an evil man because he didn't give every "hard-working" American free infinite gender affirming and/or gastric bypass surgeries from Harvard-educated doctors.

Setup

Class Setup
Item Accessories/Bonus
  • Primary: 3D Printed Pistol
  • "Ghost gun". does 20-35 pts. of damage
  • Perk: Ghost Pro
  • Took ages for police to catch up to him. Invisible to police helicopters

The “Why” Heard Around the Boardroom

Recovered from Mangione’s belongings was a manifesto—a three-page, handwritten ode to disillusionment with corporate America. Described as a cross between a hacker's diary and a philosophy undergrad’s late-night rant, it painted Mangione not as a criminal, but as a misunderstood artist taking a bold stand against the oppressive machine.

High Tech, Higher Drama

The weapon of choice, a 3D-printed ghost gun, speaks volumes about Mangione’s innovative spirit. Why settle for a store-bought firearm when you can disrupt the weapons industry too? Add a suppressor for flair, and you’ve got a plotline worthy of a Netflix true-crime docuseries.

McBetrayal

While Luigi was savoring the smokey flavor of a delicious McRib, a McDonald's employee called 911 (not the hotline) and cashed in on the $60,000 reward got absolutely nothing. OOPS. As a consolation prize they will go the rest of their life knowing they're a class traitor who, after delivering (allegedly) the most wanted man in America on a silver McPlatter, got screwed over by the cops just the same.

Luigi's arrest in a Pennsylvania McDonald’s gave the cops plenty of opportunity to plant evidence, like the supposed manifesto. Because, y'know, he'd just have that on him. Why not? The irony of him being brought to the authorities by a useful idiot controlled by short sighted greed is not lost on anyone, except Brian Thompson, who is still dead from a terminal case of being that very thing. The tech-savvy renegade was caught munching fries, betrayed by a fast-food worker who doesn't deserve the minimum wage they're not getting, while the corporate machine closed in.

Legacy of Lunacy

Now awaiting trial, Mangione’s story is less a cautionary tale and more a bizarre chapter in the annals of corporate drama. Is he a martyr for the disenchanted masses or just another cog in the machine, destined to be forgotten once the next scandal hits Wall Street? Only time—and Netflix ratings—will tell. He seemingly was a big Ted Kaczynski fan.

Gallery

See Also

External Links

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Luigi Mangione
is part of a series on serious business
Serious Concepts

Free SpeechIdentity theftIronyInternet assholeInternet CelebritiesInternet diseaseInternet dramaInternet humanitariansInternet LawInternet lawsuitInternet lawyerInternet stalkingInternet tough guyInternet Vigilante GroupOperation Falcon PunchSwattingVandalismWorld Wide Web Consortium

People & Organizations

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[Stop shooting!Pull the trigger]
Luigi Mangione is part of a series on Gun Control
Locus in quo:

Abilene Alleyway Shooting 🔫 Capital Gazette Shooting 🔫 Chris Dorner 🔫 Christchurch mosque attacks 🔫 Colorado Theatre Shooting 🔫 David Long 🔫 Dayton shooting 🔫 El Paso Walmart Shooting 🔫 Elliot Rodger 🔫 Gilroy Garlic Festival Shooting 🔫 Jacksonville Shooting 🔫 Kyle Rittenhouse 🔫 Marjory Stoneman Douglas School Shooting 🔫 Pulse Nightclub Massacre 🔫 Randy Stair 🔫 San Bernardino shooting 🔫 Sandniggers in Paris 🔫 Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre 🔫 Santa Fe High School Shooting 🔫 Shoahdown at the Synagogue of Doom 🔫 Las Vegas shooting 🔫 Texas church shooting 🔫 Umpqua Community College Shooting 🔫 Virginia Beach Shooting 🔫 Washington Navy Yard shooting 🔫 Youtube shooting 🔫

Supporters

Barack Obama 🔫 Christians 🔫 Concerned Mothers 🔫 Democrats 🔫 Dianne Feinstein 🔫 Government 🔫 The Kennedys 🔫 Kurt Eichenwald 🔫 Faggots 🔫 Liberals 🔫 Michael Bloomberg 🔫 Jews 🔫 SJWs 🔫 Sensitive people 🔫 Tara Strong 🔫 Trayvon Martin 🔫 Quinton Reviews

Main ideas:

Assault Rifle 🔫 Gun 🔫 Gun Control 🔫 Murder 🔫 Arson 🔫 Bombs 🔫 Mass Shooting 🔫 School Shooting 🔫

Haters gonna hate:

Daisy Hogg 🔫 Killers 🔫 Republicans

Acts of revenge:

Boston Marathon Bombing 🔫 Sandniggers in Paris 🔫 Ariana Grande Massacre 🔫 London Bridge Attack 2017 🔫 Capital Gazette Shooting 🔫 Prosper family murders

Objectors:

Charlton Heston 🔫 James Holmes 🔫 NRA 🔫 Osama Bin Laden 🔫 Republicans 🔫 People planning a massacre 🔫

Pre-2012 Gun Massacres

Columbine 🔫 École Polytechnique 🔫 Dawson College 🔫 Virginia Tech Massacre 🔫 Austin, Texas 🔫 NIU Valentine's Day Massacre 🔫 Hungerford Massacre 🔫 Anders Breivik


Luigi Mangione
is part of a series on Pokémon

[Gotta catch ’em all!Who’s that Pokémon?]
Luigi Mangione is part of a series on
[Or Get OutGet N]
Luigi Mangione

is part of a series on

The History of The Lulz

[Shut UpSing Me The Song Of My People]

Featured article December 14, 2024
Preceded by
Destiny
Luigi Mangione Succeeded by
Adam Lanza