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Clavicular

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This person has Assburgers Syndrome,
so you can't say anything bad! :-(


Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.

WARNING:

With Jews, you lose!
Braden Eric Peters
Born December 17, 2005 (20 years old)
Nationality Americunt  
Ethnicity White devils
Gender Male
Occupation Influencer

Clavicular (Powerword: Braden Eric Peters) is a pseudo-intellectual Americunt looksmaxxing influencer obsessed with drugs and destroying his skeletal structure in hopes of being attractive. After beginning his career in 2025 he since continues to persuade incels worldwide into joining him in destroying their own bodies ("hardmaxxing") as to not feel lonely having done it, since according to him, this makes you more attractive.

Description

Due to his unfortunate state of being a Jew, Clav's primary focus in life is jewgold. As a result, the entirety of his content serves to produce consoomers to purchase cheap testosterone supplements and earn a cut. While as an asspie, he is very obsessive and usually spergs out at people about his cult of looksmaxxing, this property makes this obsession dangerous to others' wallets. Furthermore, like the retard he is, he has done on numerous occasions varying retarded shit and even landed himself in jail several times. However, in both cases, his wealth and Israeli connections have gotten him out one way or another.

As described in the above section, he is extremely deep into the rabbit hole of looksmaxxing, having gone far further than the average incel. Because of this, he is entirely unable to speak to women. An attempt at conversation with a representative of the opposite gender usually induces an epileptic seizure, where he is partially paralyzed and temporarily adopts an alternative style of thinking. This style is colloquially known as Clavology, and its study concerns the various ratios and formulae used by seasoned incels such as him for the purpose of achieving maximum attractiveness at the expense of all charisma. The course students usually pass on their path to proficiency is called the claviculum. Modern soyence is still working on the Clavological Theory of Everything and if solved, it may permanently reset the number of incels to 0.

"Career"

As you likely know, Clav is primarily a streamer. However, while streaming and not, he participates in the even more deranged activity known as looksmaxxing. His expertise lies in the "hardmaxxing" part, and he refers to participants of "softmaxxing" as "pussies".

In pursuit of his goals, he has taken various drugs, including but not limited to: testosterone, roids, heroin, tetrahydrocannabinol and meth. This has (unsurprisingly) caused many overdoses and even been linked to his total infertility. This combined with his crippled penis is undeniable proof Clav is a Jew, and almost evidence enough to show he is a Mossad member. But wait, there's more!

As a professional Jew, he has even started a scam membership to extract gullible incels' jewgolds. If you pay him this $100/month, Clav will personally tell you to snort even moar drugs. As a non-member, the most you could get from him is watching him inject other incels with drugs as a suggestion. That's right, you're paying minimum wage to be told to kill yourself. Doesn't that sound like one hell of a deal? Well, to a surprising amount of retards, it does. Interestingly, the money he gets from the membership is well-connected to his non-prescription purchases of various narcotics. Along with ripping you off, Clav gets a crack pipe to go along with it.

To the surprise of absolutely nobody, taking more drugs than food leads one to doing retarded shit. As a perfect example: his attractiveness is not exclusive to females. A Florida man innocently splashed his Tesla soybertruck with a peculiar foul-smelling fluid (widely believed to be Clav's own period blood) and started dry-humping the roof. This prompted the influenza's soybertruck to goatse the intruder. Some sources say the man was killed, but in reality, he was simply framemogged by Clav. While this is a high bar to pass, there is nothing to be proud of about being an ugly piece of shit.


Start driving!


   
 
Is he dead? Hopefully.
 

 
 

—Clav, acting like the sick fuck he is

Clav gets v&

Finally, the men who glow in the dark have gotten hold of him. In a dramatic twist of the plot, he was not charged for the brutal framemogging by soybertruck, but for alleged possession of moar drugs and usage of a fake ID (he had inadvertently undone a recent glowup soon before then). Ya rly. Not even the FBI thought the incident was lulzy, so they promptly released Clav. This was a good choice, because he would go on to never get himself in trouble again.

Clav gets v& 2: Electric Boogaloo

Yes, again -- this time Clav is finally being tried for his horrible crime of ræping an innocent bystander with his low-polygon car. Not. This time around, unsurprisingly for his own monetary gain, he started a shitty fight club but instead of roid goblins, women were to fight as drooling incels watched from all angles. The club was closed down after the first pair of fighters pulled the victim card and even consequently caused the second time Clav was v&.

But you would have to be a fool to believe this was the only stupid thing he'd done. It seems infighting between subhumans was not entertaining enough, because in an intelligent decision, Clav, while streaming, shot a dead Croc. It is no secret that he did it for the lulz, but the Gestapo is an enemy.

It is unclear whether or not his decision was driven by one of his daily-drive drugs, since nothing is certain but death and taxes, however this being true is a close third. Scientists state that nobody cares about this incident, but this is one of the rare cases where empirical evidence is entirely wrong. This is shown by the fact that for his heroic act of patriotism the reward was yet another criminal charge. He was not alone in dual-wielding a crackpipe, because this earned him 6 years in probation.

The news reports

   
 
Clavicular almost caught a CAREER-ENDING cortisol spike after a LARPMAXXED stacy tried jesterfying him on stream by calling him a good boy while he was mid-mog between 2 LOW-TIER NORMIES at ASU😭
 

 
 

Shitter, at its most coherent

   
 
Clavicular ran into ASUs top frat leader while JesterMaxxing w gymcells and instantly CLOCKED PEAK COPE 😳

The fratfraud leader went full UV Dodgemaxxing & Weightcopemaxxing inflating FAKE STATS to protect FRAME after being SKULLMOGGED while Clav DEEPLOCKED IN nuked cortisol stabirreversible PSL bleed BY A MILLIMETER 💀💯
 


 
 

Shitter, at its slightly less

Videos

Clav gets his cortisol spiked
   
 
If you had the chance to run me over, would you do it?
 

 
 

—Fred Beyer to Clav, in understandable fear.

See Also


Clavicular is part of a series on Aspies. [Back to your happy placeSperg out]

Aaron BushnellAcademy ManiacsAdam LanzaAlbert EinsteinAlexander SlavrosAmber ButtrumAndy KaufmanAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoAspies for FreedomAspierationsAssburgerBaldi's BasicsBambifan101Barron TrumpBart-ToonsBeefraveBenny_the_SnakeBenthelooneyBen ShapiroBill9929Bill GatesBlocklandersBlueCatRioluBodyXPoliticBonziWORLDBoris MalagurskiBourg ProductionsBram CohenBrandon SmithBrownsquirrelCameron W. CowanCansin13Chang WenChibiyimaChris-chanChris Harper-MercerClay ClaymoreCyndilovespiccoloDan CilleyDarrDarius McCollumDarviela MaravaronaDavid CleggDaxFlameDellordev-catscratchDiogo MendesDisneyFan01DLAbaoaquDodgerofZionDragonfandrp1zzaEddie WiseEdenHeroineGirlElliot RodgerEmpLemonErik RibsskogErin AnthonyEvan GraggFlaglerchatFlardoxFucklewithshuckleFUNImation2002GachatardsGalaxyRailways2199Gary McKinnonGeosheaGlitchedbloodGoFagsGrantMGraykatGreg MazujianGreenyfagsHannah CappsHeed My WarningHozupindahows00sInmendhamInuboy1000Johnny SomaliIronholdsJack Gilbert GrahamJared MiltonJahi/4444Javi SuzumiyaJINXDROWNEDJoekerJohn Patrick RogersJoseph8276JustinandDennisJustinRPGJoey The AutistKeegan SalisburyKawaii KitsuneKawaiiKittee88KelseyaliciaKevin HavensKingMasterReviewKirbysloverKloeriKongzillarex619KothorixKphoriaLaaiti EkenstéenLane DavisLeafyIsHereLordelthibarLougaraLukas PietschLyndsay KirkhamLynn AnnM. ChaosManlytearsMar9122Marcus PotterMarioMan7890MarioMario456Mark ZuckerbergMascotGuyMatthew DavisMatthew NicholsonMDetector5Michael GimsonMinefagsMisha SilenostiMissyMix HyenaMonica PunkMumkey JonesMutescreamMylarBalloonFanNate SpidgewoodNemo HanaNeuroNichole337Nick BravoNicky ReillyNikolas CruzObjectcucksOlinkalexOnigojirakaijuOnyx ForepawPacificoceanasiaPhantomStriderPhonefagsPMDrive1061PopcornPrince JeremyRandy Robert StairRavenNGRobert Clark YoungROtardsRootbrianRoss LumbusRyanSammyClassicSonicFanSaturnDOSSebastien LevesqueSeunghwan LeeSeleryShane LeeSiriusOrionisSolidMarioSONYFANBOYSperginStarbladeStarkiller88SteAndKelSuperMarioLoganSuper Minecraft KidTablecowTGcomixTheAmazingAtheistTheDOSFagThe Eclectic EspeonThe rEactorTheme Park ReviewTheMysteriousMrEnterTherealagerbonThe JuggernautThe Unknown AutobotTheVeganStudentTimboxToby J RathjenToKeNTom SersonToonEGuyToshTrigglypuffTylerthDragonUlillilliaVailskibum94Varg VikernesWaymuuWeatherManKevinWeDoALittleTrollingWeegeeisgoingtokillmWerechuWetflamewillg8686William AtchisonWilliam FreundWim CrusioWolfAdvocateWolfeedarkfangwwwareaYouZS3


Clavicular

is part of a series on

Drugs

[Cut It OutExpand Your Mind]

Clavicular is part of a series on Dying Alone

[DeadCry yourself to sleep]

Those Who Have Died Alone

Aaron AlexisAaron BushnellAaron SwartzAdam LanzaAlexis ArquetteAmanda ToddAmy WinehouseAnal CuntAndy KaufmanAngry GrandpaAnna Nicole SmithAnthony WarnerAsa CoonBrandon CrispBrian AdamsBurntfishieByuuChang WenCharmaine DragunCho Seung-HuiChris BenoitChris Harper-MercerChynaCodey PorterDavid BowieDavid CarradineDragoneerEazy-EEdaremElliot RodgerElvis PresleyGeorge SodiniGizgizGleb KorablevGursimran KaurHappyCabbieHarambeH.P. LovecraftHeath LedgerJake DavisonJeff WeiseJewWarioJim MorrisonKate SpadeKitty0706Kurt CobainLemonade CoyoteLeelah AlcornLil PeepLiloLoki BlackfangLowtaxMia JaninMegan MeierMichael JacksonMitchell HendersonMySpaceNathan GaleNautica MaloneNikita LytkinOtoya YamaguchiPekka-Eric AuvinenPrinceRandy StairRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LópezRina PalenkovaRipperRobin WilliamsRonnie McNuttRudolph ZurickRyan PalmeterShawn WoolleyShayShuaibySol PaisStephen PaddockSteve StephensThomas Matthew CrooksTony48219TooDamnFilthyTy ZiegelTyler DumstorfVester FlanaganWilliam AtchisonXXXTentacion

Those Dying Alone

03bgood2cash2 gryphon7jackass77A Man in BlackAhuviya HarelAIDS SkrillexAkewsticRockRAlex FordAlison RappAmerica's Third PartyAmy SchumerAndrew AllansonAngry JoeAnimatedJamesAnita SarkeesianAnonymous BorgAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoAntony AguilarApril DavisAquagirlwhitefoxArgent009Arguecat3Arin HansonArmake21AsalieriAsher2500AvantGardePonyBambifan101BarneyfagBasement DwellersBen FordBen MoynihanBenny_the_SnakeBenthelooneyBig RedBikerfoxBill9929Bill GaedeBill GatesBLACKbusterCriticBob RehahnBrandontheMovieGuyBrandon SmithBrian MuellerBrian Richard ZaigerBrianna WuBroniesButLovaByAppointmentToCarl the CuckCartoonjunkieCaseydeckerCatboyKamiCheeyevChloe SagalChris-chanChris CrockerChuck M.Clint of Rise and FallCole AllenCopperCabCorey MargeraCoughlan666CrazyvideosandrantsCrinklemonCyraxxDaniel BrandtDan CilleyDane CookDani FilthDarius McCollumDarknessthecurseDarksydePhilDave ChapelleDave MustaineDavid HockeyDaxflameDBoyWheelerDeekerDeterminedToDrawUTDev-catscratchDGTrixieDiaper BoyDillon CosseyDiogo MendesDisneyFan01DisneyMasterDJ KEEMSTARDnepropetrovsk maniacsDodgerofZionDogpatch PressDon RobertsDoodletonesDoomer3868Dorian_GayDoug WalkerDrakonDrossRotzankDoomentioDustinEDP445EggyElon MuskEmer PrevostEmosEpic Fat GuyEpicKitty54Eric AbramovEric RidenourErik RibsskogErtasVideosFilthy FrankFagolescentsFanFic CriticFast EddieFat ManFaust & Pory Five Nights at Freddy's fansFlardoxFluffy teh wolfForeverKailynFriends of A-LogFurriesG-ZayGather Against FateGeorge LopezGeosheaGhostGirlvinylGlobelampGoddessMilleniaGraykatGreg MazujianGwen GaleGwen StefaniHarmful OpinionsHellkiller777I Dislike Cis PeopleI Hate EverythingIan Miles Cheongicze⁴rImma-The-DeerInkBunnyIsabella Loretta JankeJamil The KingJessi SlaughterJessica LeedsJim ProfitJINXDROWNEDJoe Crusher PicklesJoekerJohn BullaJohn FieldJohn KricfalusiJohn Patrick RogersJohnny SomaliJonathan McIntoshJonmonJonTronJoseph CampJoseph8276Joshua "Null" MoonJuggalosJustinRPGKat DenningsKendall JennerKeegan SalisburyKathleen ToddKenny GlennKevin HavensKeffalsKimmo Johan AlmKingEmpoleonKingMasterReviewKrashedLaci GreenLarry the Cable GuyLauren FaustLeafyIsHereLecarickLeigh AlexanderLeisureSuitGamingLena DunhamLeonard F. Shaner Jr.Leslie JonesLifeInATentLikeicareLinkaraLittleCloudLittleKuribohLordelthibarLow Tier GodLucian HodobocM. ChaosMAGAtsManchildrenMar9122MarblesMarioMario456MariotehplumberMarjan SiklicmasteroogwgayMatthew DavisMatthew NicholsonMcJuggerNuggetsMDetector5‎MeowbarkMeganSpeaksMichael BattonMichael FitzhywelMichael GimsonMike SandyMoleman9000Monica PunkMonkeyGameGuidesMoviebobMumkey JonesMuZemikeMylarBalloonFanMysteriousMrEnterMysticArkNaokoElric2250NawlinWikiNeckbeardsNeoGAFNicholas ProsperNick BateNick BravoNikkineko333Noah AntwilerNostalgia ChickNotchNullcherriObjectfagsOFWGKTAOnideus Mad HatterOnyx ForepawPacificoceanasiaPaigeGirlPaul FeigPaulie CalafioreParkourdude91Peter BrightPeter CoffinPeter ScullyPhantomStrider8Phil FishPhunWithLogicPinkieponyPit ViperPixyteriPeluchin EntertainmentPMRantsPreachingthegospelQuentin TarantinoRachael MacFarlaneRandi HarperRichard ReidRicki RavenRMG ProductionsRobert StaintonRobert Wayne StilesRockosockoRomeo RoseRootbrianRose3212Ryan RouthSad FrogSammyClassicSonicFanSam PepperSarah ButtsSarahisniftySaturnDOSSceptreSchnookumsSegacampSega KidSeth MacFarlaneSethistoShadmanSimply OkamiSlowbeef & DiabetusSnapesnoggerSonic SaviorSonmanicSony-MaeSophie LabelleSpax3StormySuperlisamcbSusan BoyleTara StrongTheAmazingAtheistTheDOSFagTheOdd1sOutTheSockDetectiveTim BuckleyTJ LaneTodd in the ShadowsTom PrestonToonEGuyTourneyfagsTrey Eric SeslerTrigglypuffTyciolTyler GarmanyUlillilliaThe Unknown AutobotVadeVinceintheBayWade FulpWeatherManKevinWesley!!!WoWfan4lifeWwwareaWeegeeisgoingtokillmXenuriaYandereDevYoshiwii1Youyoungbloodfantasy91ZazefZoe QuinnZone

Their Methods

9gagAdventure TimeAn HeroAIDSAnimuAlt-rightArt SchoolA-Log's Fanfictionask.fmAsperger's SyndromeAssigned MaleBath SaltsThe Big Bang TheoryBattle for Dream IslandBlackLivesMatterBlack metalBody PillowsBonziWORLDBitViewBoozeBullyingBuzzFeedChildren's CartoonsClown WorldComputer Science IIICosplayCumOnPrintedPics.ComCupheadDating SimsDead FriendDeath metalDeath penaltyDeltaruneDeviantARTDiscordDrugsEdginessENAFamily GuyFanFictionFeminismFedoraFidget spinnerThe Filthy Frank ShowFive Nights at Freddy'sFleshlightFriend ZoneFurAffinityFurry ArtFun Shitposting WikiGarry's ModGenshin ImpactGoAnimate!GooglewhackingGorillazGothsGravity FallsGreen DayGreeny PhatomGrindcoreHackingHappy Madison ProductionsHomestuck‎Hover hand‎HufflepuffHigh ScoreIncelcoreIndie musicInfantilismInsane Clown PosseIntrovertInvisible GirlfriendIRCJenkemKiwi FarmsKotakuLeague of LegendsLegoLibertarianismLiveJournalLonelyLoveShyMai WaifuMass ShootingsMen's rights activismMinecraftMLP ForumsMMORPGsMGTOWMUDsMy Little PonyMy Tiny DickNice GuyismNu metalOculus RiftOh ShiternetOnline datingOnline sex gamesOverwatchPlastic CrapPlenty of Fish/r9k/Rick and MortyRobloxRule 34RuneScapeSchool ShootingsSecond LifeSelf-VictimizationShy Boys IRLSilk Screen Goku ShirtSlayerSlipknotSluthateSmogon UniversitySocial JusticeSource FilmmakerSouth ParkSoyjak.partySparkalloonSpeakoniaStar vs. the Forces of EvilSteven UniverseTaking the Internet Too SeriouslyTeam Fortress 2That Guy With The GlassesThe Anytown ShowThe EntersphereThe SimsThey Might Be GiantsTomb RaiderToolTransformersTulpasTumblrTV Tropestwenty one pilotsUnchartedUncle GrandpaUncyclopediaUndertaleUnikittyUTTPVidLiiVirginityVirtual YouTubersVloggerheadsWatchMojo.comWeezerWikimaniaWizardchanWorld of WarcraftYIIK: A Post-Modern RPGYouTube

Clavicular is part of a series on Lolcows [JULAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYI'M PRESSING BUTTONS]

Aaron FechterAddyAdf-fuensalida/Ahuviya HarelAlexander4488Alexander JahansAlex JonesAmuriaAnailaighAndrew DitchAngela BeesleyAngry Homo KidAnimatedJamesAnisa JomhaAnita SarkeesianAnonymous AsexualAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoAntandrusBaked AlaskaBashurverseBeanBenthelooneyBikerfoxBirdieBoogie2988BroniesChasethehedgehogcheese1997CheeyevChris ForcandChris-chanChris HansenClay ClaymoreConnor CochranCooking With Jack ShowCopperCabCorkyCristaliCyraxxDalavestaDan LiretteDaniel LarsonDellorDerek SavageDestinyMewDivineAngelDodgerofZionDoe DeereDogpatch PressDonald BuffkinDon HenrieDrago-draciniDragonmorphDreamDrewTheFoxDarksydePhilDurovaDrMusic2DwarlinggirlxcoreElliot RodgerEthan KleinEthan RalphFallenchungusFists_The_EchidnaFlamencoTVFurriesFuturisticHubGame2WinterGirlvinylGlen and Valerie SmithGoonclownGoddessMilleniaGorgeous GeorgegraykatHal TurnerHasanAbiHermanHol TigerHozupindahows00sHunter AvalloneI Dislike Cis PeopleIDubbbzTVInSaNe-REYNARDInmendhamIntellectual CheckmateIsabella Loretta Janke‎Jared MiltonJerry PeetJessi SlaughterJihadunspun.comJoeysworldtourJohn BullaJolene JRydaJosephtheloverJoshua MoonJuggalosJustinRPGKeegan SalisburyKeffalsKen AshcorpKen PendersKengleKimmo AlmKrimpetKiwi FarmsLee GoldsonLiart66List of lolcowsLittlefagLizzieyLolcow.farmLolcowLiveLord FoxworthLord Rexington FearLove ShyLow Tier GodLuigispiritkeeper08LuvmonkeysMaddoxMangsMarioMario456MariotehplumberMatrooko11MeganSpeaksMessyTailsMeta527IIMike MateiMikemikevMisha SilenostiMissLaVeyMister MetokurMisterpoetMolecularMageXDMONGOMontagraphMoviebobMr.A.T.AndreiThomasMudfuckerMylarBalloonFanN. Brio da ZueraNate SpidgewoodnathanrNeo-classic-nekoNephilimFreeNick BateNick "Corky" BravoNick FuentesNikocado AvocadoNihilistic SnakeObjectfagsOnideusOnigojirakaijuPatrick S. TomlinsonPatryk KornatowskiPeluchin EntertainmentPirate SoftwarePixelArtGalorePixelbeePlotahedron9Prince JeremyProfessor KuhtoonsRachel CorrieRandy StairRachel CorrieRandomlaughingmanReviewTechUSARobert TraceyRobert Wayne StilesRogue, Internet ManSammyClassicSonicFansapphydracasesSceptreSeleneSephirothPrincess941Shoe0nHeadSiegepilled ZoomerSmartschoolboy9SnackyCakes2008SnapesnoggerSokiTwopawSomeOrdinaryGamersSteven Bonnell IIStyxhexenhammer666Super Minecraft KidTakedownmanTariq NasheedTawneelynneTeruchanTerry DavisThat Vegan TeacherTheAmazingAtheistTheft KingTheMysteriousMrEnterThe rEactorTheSpoonyOneThe Unknown AutobotThomas KinkadeThorTimboxToby J RathjenTom CruiseTom PrestonTom PearlTommy TooterUlillilliaUltimateUKFFFanUniversalUrsweetyUTTPVailskibum94Valis77Vegan GainsVideoGamePhenomVinluv Anton HandesbukiaVonheltonWhiteguys fartinmyfacewillg8686Winko567WingsofRedemptionWyatt TomlinXaviaYandereDevZac BertschyZoe Quinn