Hunter Avallone

ATTENTION!

The subject of this article is a lolcow, and is currently ripe for milking.

You can help by trolling the shit out of them whenever you see them, then laughing at their lulz-inducing theatrics.


Hunter Avallone
Born:	November 11, 1996
Real Name:	Hunter Vincent Avallone
Nationality	Americunt
Occupation:	Youtuber
Date joined	March 23, 2014

	“	It probably bothers you that I have a wife and 2 children, and I'm living the trad life and you're living the mad life, I get it.	„
	—Hunter Avallone, tempting fate during a debate with John Doyle.

Hunter Vincent Avallone, AKA Cunter Avallone, Hunter CriesAlone, Hunter FapsAlone, etc, is a failing YouTuber best known for being a retarded, sourcefagging cuck with a history of grifting. He began as a generic anti-SJW youtuber with a stable and respectable career. Following a steady stream of blunders and betrayals, his career would collapse slowly at first, then all at once. With barely enough viewership across jewtube and Chi-com spyware, he exists as a widely mocked cautionary tale for those who covet the blue pill lifestyle.

Early Life

Hunter was born in Arnold, Maryland in 1996. He's the oldest of 6 siblings, but has somehow managed to act as the most childish of them all. He was born in a conservative Christian family that was also not political. His penchant for YouTube cringe started at a young age, as he and his brother made videos on a channel called 'Comic Shower' while putting what he admitted to be 'cringy' shit on Google Plus. He'd start his own Youtube channel in 2014, and start going political a year later.

'Anti-SJW' Phase

Hunter would begin repressing his inner cryptofag in 2015 under the guise of an anti-SJW Youtuber. Aside from being a gayer Steven Crowder clone, he would say and do nothing to differentiate himself from any other run of the mill conservative channel. By simply repeating right wing talking points by rote and doing nothing to understand right wing politics or its opposition, Hunter amassed an impressive 700K subscribers. Unfortunately for Hunter (and luckily for everyone else), he would grow bored of being successful. See, Hunter wasn't just the gayest straight man you'll ever see (his words BTW), he also has a secret humiliation fetish. From 2019 onward, he'd simply be getting his rocks off.

Career Suicide Speedrun

When nature calls, most people go to a toilet. But not Hunter Avallone. When nature calls, he shits in his backyard. In 2019 during a Toilet Paper USA conference he'd have the bright idea of denying the existence of anti-conservative censorship, before insulting the audience by mockingly using their trademark 'pull yourself up by the bootstraps' phrase against them and accusing them of 'playing the victim'. Needless to say, such unthinking contrarianism did NOT fly. His denial of reality was all the more lulzy in light of the fact that Cunter himself was a victim of this censorship a while before his speech. Unwilling to waste an opportunity to taste his own foot, Hunter would address the criticism by turning against the very people who went up to bat for him when he was temp-B&.

Inspired by a famous Stonetoss comic, Hunter would later kowtow to the Alphabet Mafia under the belief that supporting them was a conservative value. By late 2019, he and his then-GF would move away from the Right and call themselves 'free thinkers', because nothing says free thought like siding with the dominant narrative. For the rest of 2019 and 2020, Cunter would increasingly pick losing fights with his compatriots, while touching tips with Vaush after somehow losing a debate to him. It would eventually culminate in some sob-story video about why he 'Left the Right'. It turned out that Hunter never actually left the right because he was never truly part of it in the first place. The only thing Hunter had to show for his faggotry after two years was an irrecoverable loss of over 100K subscribers and viewership numbers which nosedived from 400K to less than 40K.

Collapse

Now a disgraced ex-conservative Youtuber, Hunter's career -such that it was- would now be on life support. On Tim Pool's podcast he'd go white-knighting for Hunter Biden, only to appear as Tim's dumbest guest ever at that point in time. Hunter would quickly learn to stick with debating no-name right wingers, as not many people would bother to watch irrelevant people argue for hours, much less dissect their performance. Hunter occasionally swam outside of his little puddle to pick fights with more popular right wingers like The Quartering, Lauren Southern, and Actual Justice Warrior to name a few. He was waffle-stomped each time, and the massive blowback to his failing career ensured that such interactions were kept to a minimum. Notable is his hate boner against Nick Fuentes.

Hunter would spend the next few years doing a complete 180 on nearly all the beliefs he supposedly had during his transition into a shitlib. Despite once arguing against veganism, in June 2021 he would announce his allergy of Iron and Vitamin B12 to everyone forevermore. He once called himself a Christian until 2017, only to tip the fedora and start attacking religion in 2022. Although a father of two, he'd go from denouncing to defending infanticide's legality. Perhaps atheists have a soft spot for child sacrifice to Moloch? He'd go from kissing the ring of the homos to swallowing that shit whole, as he spoke in favor of transing the kids. Supporting this is a leftoid rite of passage at this point. During the great Chimpouts of 2020, he would mock the murder of black retired cop captain David Dorn while comparing the death of Fentanyl Floyd to Christ's crucifixion (despite having abandoned Christianity by that point). It seems Carissa Avallone wasn't the only one who preferred their black men to be bad boys, eh? Keeping in character with his pro-pedophile and pro-Hunter Biden stances, he'd endorse Joe Biden as the 'lesser of two evils'. He'd also fall for the Kung-Flu hysteria in its entirety, ironically joining the long-discredited Branch Covidians despite being an atheist. Interestingly, Hunter would also fight with other leftyfags like Keffals and Shoe0nHead.

On February 3, 2022, Cunter would supposedly pack his shit and leave the interwebs indefinitely after getting depressed. His losing battle against reality probably took a toll on his mental health. Hunter had (up until this point) officially hit rock bottom. Rather than climb his way back up like most people, he would waste his dwindling life savings on an excavator and keep digging down. Hunter returned 8 days later, announcing a purge of his 'conservative' content and permanently erasing 100 million lifetime views and dropping it to 16 million. Fellow irrelevant Breadtuber Xanderhaal congratulated him for sacrificing his algorithmic amplification. What 'amplification'?

Cunter resumed employment at ShootYourselfInTheFoot Inc. with great haste. After pussying out of debating Nick Fuentes for years, the two would finally debate and fight over who was gayer. He'd also do his first live debate with John Doyle, which went as well you'd might expect for someone who relies on immediately citing studies from Google. In August 2022 he'd make his departure from Christianity official before attacking it. Despite not believing in God however, Hunter would concern himself with proving that He is immoral. But not only was the 'Christian converts to atheism and attacks his old religion' act a played out punchline by this point, but his increasing insanity was actually making a better case for Christ than Christian apologetics. As such, Hunter would shift some of his energy to an E-Jihad on Islam instead, constantly accusing Muhammad of being a pedophile. Not that it stopped Hunter from advocating the destigmatising of pedophilia that same year, however. He'd also escalate his war with the red-pill community, using their ideas and words against them in an ironic fashion while touting his then-wife and kids as an example that he's more 'trad' than them. After all, nothing says tradition like bailing on your pregnant GF and cheating on her before having those kids outta wedlock amirite? In March he'd also pick a fight with Matt Walsh in a bid to defend transing the kids, again. Using studies bought and paid for by the trans lobby, he'd successfully make the case for childhood autogynephilia.

Despite limited success on TikTok and a glowing article by a publication nobody reads, Hunter's career never recovered. In light of such abject failure and the self-inflicted wounds that caused this, there's a few hypotheses.

The first is that Hunter did all of this just for some pussy. It's known fact that Hunter and his ex-wife got married right around the same time that he started changing all of his opinions. It might sound crazy that Hunter would willingly destroy a stable career just to get laid, but men have done far dumber things in the pursuit of coochie.

The second theory is that he's genuine(ly retarded). Hunter admitted that his heart was never really in it when he was making right wing content, but converts to Cultural Marxism are known for their zeal. In his deluded mind, Hunter might have actually done all of this in pursuit of the truth. If it means torpedoing his entire life, then so be it.

The last theory explaining such a comedic downfall is that Hunter is, at his core, a grifter. The reason why his career imploded is because he bet the farm and fucking lost. Hunter admitted to being a conservative grifter to Vaush, and his content shows that his grasp of leftoid theology is just as vapid and performative. He could've ditched the anti-SJW community due to the fact that it faced increasing censorship and dissolution, along with BreadTube's massive financial success and backing by the powers who (shouldn't) be. Hunter's betrayals and mindless regurgitation of lefty dogma was him trying back the winning horse and get a lucrative career as a lefty streamer for his trouble, but it went wrong. The leftyfag fanbase that was supposed to replace the right wing fans Cunter betrayed never materialized. He had the bright idea of making a subscription service, but forgot that he needed an audience for such a project to work. It didn't. Hunter took his gambit too far to quit now, and since he burnt bridges with the right, his only hope is that he can descend deep enough into madness for the left to fully accept him and save his career.

The truth is probably a mix of the 3, since each would be in character for such a contemptible being.

Hunter CuckedAndAlone

The story you're probably here for, and one that will put Jack Murphy's to shame.

In June, Hunter announced his divorce with Carissa Avallone. He claims that they're still friends with no ill will in their hearts and remain focused on raising their 2 kids. Knowing someone like Hunter, he might actually be fine with being friendzoned by the mother of his kids who's taking at least half his shit. Thanks to Tyrone, the white man's biggest fear and the white woman's greatest lust, our would-be Blue-Pill king's circumstances for his downfall became clear. A former debate opponent and porn guy named Kingston Hawke revealed EVERYTHING that Hunter's detractors had long suspected.

Hawke and Carissa ended up sexting remarkably fast after a series of chats, which began as political discussions after the two texted each other. Carissa practically debated her way into nearly getting pimped. She sent her nudes to him alongside her... desires. Carissa Avallone owned a restaurant that sells Grade D cuts of roast beef. She wanted to showcase this product with the help of OnlyFans (which Cunter admitted to knowing about and wanting), and then serve it to AT LEAST 5 other older black dudes with a side of mayo. During what would likely be intensive work hours, she'd keep herself refreshed with freshly squeezed lemonade from the guys. Sadly for R. Kelly, such an event was cancelled before it could take place. Carissa also wanted coaching for such a business, as well as many other customers. Another particularly crazy detail was her desperate get-rich-quick attitude. She needed $5K fast, and saw this 5-man business venture as a way to do it. All that was necessary was Hawke's planning and a cut of the money for his efforts. She was willing to fly to Houston to seal the deal, but constantly got cold feet due to minor concerns like a strep throat, UTI, yeast infection, and ulcer. Hawke's chats might've also had a vid thumbnail of giving head to a guy who isn't Hunter but is wearing his watch.

Even more damning details were revealed. Hunter's performance under the sheets was so awful he could barely even cum (which, between Hunter being a cryptofaggot and having an ugly wife, makes sense), was sexually unimaginative, and had a tiny cock. He was acting like a prissy bitch starting petty fights constantly, and was totally useless at raising his own kids. He was so bad at it that Carissa tried to get her sick mother to babysit for the period that she wanted to go out and catch a train in Houston. Carissa also wanted to attend swinger clubs, but Hunter "wasn't sure" if he was down with letting his wife get fucked by other people in a club. Even worse, her fledgling career in being a camwhore (which she began to 'explore her sexuality' and earn money) made her the breadwinner, earning more money than Hunter.

Prior to the divorce announcement which caught her off guard, she suggested an 'open relationship'. When Hunter rightfully didn't address such an offer, they chose to separate because she wanted Cunter gone. After the divorce announcement, shit had hit the fan. Despite a supposedly amicable split, Hunter actually went to live with his guy friend and get a rebound. Carissa would also do an unsolicited rumor dump on Hawke regarding Lauren Southern and Destiny planning on getting married and already having a love-child, which is big if true and a story for another day.

Kingston Hawke's leaks caused an ugly situation to go nuclear. Carissa texted Hawke and threatened to become an hero if he didn't take down the vid. Like any libtard white woman, she blamed Hawke for blowing the lid on her terrible life choices. In the wake of such tremendous humiliation and failure, Mr Fapalone licked his plate clean and asked for seconds. He threatened legal action against Hawke if he didn't delete the vid (which he eventually did, although the damage had been done). His PR campaign involved a full-spectrum cope and seethe, denying being a cuck while admitting to/embracing the behaviors that made him a cuck in the first place, and reposting anti-Hunter memes ironically in a failed bid to disarm the joke he's turned into. He also sought to defend her fair maiden's honor where applicable, insisting that her actions took place after the breakup even though the texts took place in mid-late May while the divorce happened in June. Carissa would start trying to wipe as much of her online presence as possible. She then went on various streams to try and paint herself as the victim of some would-be pimp and sex-pest, despite the fact that everything which took place was her idea and fault. She also confirmed that both she and Hunter were actually AWARE of the sexting to Hawke and its contents, further confirming Hunter is a cuck. Other streams dissecting the details would reveal that Carissa referred to Hunter as a 'rebound' in a reddit comment, discussed separation for YEARS in a marriage that only lasted for 6, and that that Carissa has a serious sex toy wishlist.

Long story short, Hunter knocked up a slut, dipped, cheated on her, only returned when she gave birth to his kids, and tried to turn a whore into a housewife using the blue-pill lifestyle that left him hilariously incapable of even the bare minimum requirements expected of a husband and father. Stevie Fucking Wonder could've seen that trainwreck coming. Cunter will continue to milk a moment that should've driven him off the internet, because this will be the most attention this irrelevant streamer will ever get. If Hunter had spent more time raising his family than bragging about having one, maybe shit would be different. GG WP.

[-+]Hunter's Statement

I deleted all my tweets because I didn’t need to contribute to the fire or furthering of falsehoods. Here’s the true chain of events:

1.wife and I both agreed to do some onlyfans shit together- this included her sending some photos and messages to people for the business. I genuinely don’t see anything wrong with fucking my wife and making money while doing so. Only insecure betas think otherwise.

2.We set clear boundaries which were: no physical contact with other men - I remain the only man seen in the leaked OnlyFans content and this boundary was never violated the duration of our marriage.

3.Unrelated to the onlyfans stuff, we formally agreed to separate after discussing the idea for the last year and a half

4.Days later, I briefly announced it

5.Carissa only expressed interest in other sexual endeavors after we had both agreed to separate and see other people.

6.Nobody left anyone for anyone else. If this happened, Carissa and I wouldn’t have remained roommates and amicable throughout this process.

7.After legal action was threatened, the initial video spreading the falsehoods and rumors was deleted by the uploader. He has since acknowledged he had misunderstood the situation.

8.due to the fact the photos were meant to be anonymous and the video uploader attached a legal name to the blurred but still visible photos, this is legally revenge porn as the intent of the video was to malign and harass, plus the sender of the photos had a reasonable expectation of privacy.

9.despite the video being deleted, the damage has been done and all the evidence has been saved and handed over to law enforcement

10. it’s creepy how obsessed with my personal life y’all are

At the end of the day, this has taught me a valuable lesson about how quickly rumors can spread and how fast many people are willing to throw you under the bus. This has also taught me to be even more sparing with the people whom I trust.

I know regardless of my words, the uploader retracting his video, my ex wife’s account of things contradicting the rumors, and the clear violation of law, people who hate me will continue to hate me. People will continue to tell me I’m in denial or that I’m “coping” because they’re coming from an emotional place of hatred for me, rather than a genuine respect for the truth.

This is the final time I’ll be engaging with this on Twitter. Thanks for reading.

PS. Tyrone and Jamal were only her friends