Mister Metokur

HOLY SHIT HE GOT CANCER!!111

	“	I have gone completely autistic, I can't do this	„
	—Jim before every video.

The icon of the Internet's biggest shitlord

Autism. Autism never changes. The Internet brings out the gayest faggots within society under the guise of anonymity, allowing them to spread their legs and tout their retarded cocks. And yet every now and again, there's one faggot who comes out and highlights the autism of the internet, bringing lulz and drama wherever they breathe. Mister Metokur, is one such faggot.

Known online as Mister Metokur, Jim81Jim, the Internet Aristocrat, or just Jim (b. 1981), is a Minnesota born and raised midget of many aliases who needs no introduction. We can try however if you're that retarded. There are many ways to describe Jim. To some he's a Jerry Springer of the internet age; to others, a former Gamergater with a passion for clowns and furries. But most importantly, he's a 40 year old who talks about internet drama for a living. Keep your panties on, ladies; he's taken. And you're probably too old for him anyway. Seriously, if she's 20 years old as another faggot claimed, and she's the same Jade he's been talking about since at least 2015, it could've been fucking illegal depending of the state. Well, that makes a case for why he would make so many accounts. And here our story begins. He is known offline as James O'Shaughnessy. For the few fags who don't know who he is he's basically an unfunny oldfag /pol/ack/METOKUR fanboy who has a fetish for Asian bimbos and making spergs shit themselves when he's not busy deleting drunk livestreams out of embarrassment.

As of December 2022, Jimbo has officially gone into retirement (for a third or fourth time) to live out the remainder of his days watching anime in a a Medicaid sponsored Hospice due to Stage Four GRIDS.

Act I: Jim81Jim

Stage6

Before YouTube there was Stage6. A divx run website, where weebs and other losers uploaded shitty videos.

	“	It was paradise lol. One of the best sites I've ever been a user on. God I miss that site. Everything YouTube has done over the last 3 years, the good parts, is a pale copy of what Stage 6 did long ago. They had no upload limits on time, 4 gig on size of a file, Full HD, profile pages with picture commenting, forums built right into the site, it was amazing.	„
	—Jim

Here Jim spent his time putting out shitty animu videos.

Videos

Here are some video titles that Jimbo made

Profile

	“	Ok, so I have decided to put a little more effort into the "about me" section of my profile. First off my name is James and contrary to what my profile lists as my age ( I was goofing around when I signed up and put down a bogus birthdate ) I am 26 years old. That is where I get my handle from Jim = James 81 = year of birth Jim = what the hell one more time and you get Jim81Jim. This is the same handle I use on every site so more than likely if you see a user with it somewhere else it is me. I am currently enrolled in college and am completing or hoping to complete a Bachelors Degree in education. I took time after high school to go directly into the work force and that is why I am only now doing college. However I am glad I had real world experience when it comes to a job because I have the distinct feeling my peers at school have no idea what is in store for them. But such is life I suppose, after all the saying is live and learn so if you haven't yet lived it you couldn't have learned it. So that about sums it up.	„
	—Jim

-Location Minnesota
-Interests Anime. Video Games. Reading. Chess. MTG Card Game. J-Pop. Sci-Fi. History ( huge dork when it comes to that ).
-Favorite movies This question is so Cliche
-Favorite music J-Pop. K-Pop. Thai-Pop. ( Are you sensing a theme yet? ) Hip-Hop. Rap. Heavy Metal. Rock. Pretty much anything really.
-Favorite TV Mad Men. Breaking Bad. Adult Swim Sunday night line up. Daily Show. Colbert Report. X-Play. Attack of the Show. And a lot of others I can barely remember.
-Favorite books What are these "books" you speak of. What website can I download this software from???? Seriously though.... Halo Novels. The Wheel of Time series. Philosophy books ( I.E. Golden Sayings of Epictetus. Plato. Meditations of Marcus Aurelius. The Art of War by Sun Tzu ) I know some wouldn't consider Sun Tzu to be philosophy but I do. American Theocracy by Kevin Phillips which I though was an excellent piece about the future of the country in relation to our economic ties to energy sources such as oil. A lot of other books as well. If your curious just ask.
-Favorite games Halo 1 and 3. The Elder Scrolls Oblivion and Morrowind. Final Fantasy 7, 12, and Tactics. XenoGears. Brigandine. Resident Evil 4. Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess. Super Mario Galaxy. Metroid Prime 3. Castlevania Symphony of the Night. Wizards and Warriors ( NES ). A lot more too. Just ask if you want to know.
-Occupation College Student

FTFC

Jim made his own hugbox where nobody could say mean words. F.T.F.C or Fuck The Flaggers Community, was where Jim wanted to upload his shitty AMV's.

The F.T.F.C. stands up for the little guy. Recently some activity on Stage6 has inspired me to create this channel as a gathering place for all those who have been targeted, as a gathering place for those who want to stop this harassment, and as a gathering place for all those who want Stage6 to remain a place where users are free to create great content. Flaggers is a term which you will hear used a lot on this channel and so I want to clarify its meaning. A flagger is not a person who rates a video from a user with a thumbs down. Everyone is entitled to their own voice and exercising their own rights to be heard. But there are those who would abuse this right and try and work the system to strike out at those who create content for us, the users. They seek to suppress others out of jealousy for their abilities. For all of us here who have worked so hard to create something there is nothing more painful than watching it destroyed by a cowards actions. As you explore this channel you will come to understand just how harmful those actions have been and can be. But there is hope. If we decide to stand together and with one voice say, "No more" we can effect a change. We can ensure that those cowards are exposed for what they are and help to protect what makes this site so great in the first place, the users. Stand tall your with the F.T.F.C. now.

******************** Special Announcement ******************
I would like to welcome to the FTFC channel two new admin's. First there is the lovely and talented MidoriDory who looks forward to helping out with the channel and was one of the first members here. Secondly we have Born_On_A_Mountain who has helped to bring the channel to the attention of the AMV community. Thanks to both you guys ( Oops. Guy and Girl ) for saying yes and for helping out.

Goodbye Stage6

Poor Jim was pretty upset when Stage6 shut down, and went on to tell a long sob story from his childhood.

Use scrollbar to see the full text

I'd like to relate to you all a nice little story from way back in my childhood. It has to do with customer relations on the part of a major company. You see back when I was a little shit, about 7 years old, I was an absolute toy fanatic. I loved all kinds of them, from G.I. Joe to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It wasn't uncommon to find me running around the neighborhood with my friends fighting mock battle with cheap little pieces of plastic that resembled some popular abomination in our hands while screaming whatever catchphrase our preteen intellects could whip up to suit the moment. What can I say, that is what life was like before Xbox Live. Yeah, fucked up ain't it? I mean, we actually went outside. IN THE DAYLIGHT!!!!! Anyway. Being a boy meant I loved toy guns. Call it sexist if you want. But I recall more boys than girls liked them, at least back then they did. And I was no exception. Cap guns were my favorite. Loved the sound they made and the smell that hung in the air after you would pull the trigger. Well one day when I was at home I had one of those weird little guns that uses a long pink slip of paper with charges in them. You know the kind it comes curled up in a bundle and contains maybe 20 shots. Well, here I am letting loose with this thing. Shooting any action figure that dared to look at me funny. And what happens. FIRE. The damn thing caught on fire after 3 shots. So I drop it of course and get freaked out as each of the left over charges went off. This only added to the growing burn mark on the floor. LOL. Well long story short my dad dumped some water on it and threw it out. So why do I bring this up. Well, I bring it up for what happened afterwards. My mom wrote the company and told them what happened. Now she didn't threaten them with a lawsuit or any of that and at the time this had happened before. Those types of cap guns were infamous for it. Well about 2 weeks later we get a knock at the door. There was a guy dropping off a package for me. I was 7 remember so this was a first for me. And that damn box was huge too. So I open it up and the on top of all this packing material is a letter. The letter is from the company that makes the toy gun saying. And I am paraphrasing here, " Sorry about what happened. Hope this makes it up to you". Well inside the box was about, I swear this is no exaggeration, about 50 or 60 different toys. Some were cheap little off the shelve items that this company made. On the other hand there was some quality stuff too. I remember thinking I had hit some kind of jackpot or something. So why did the company do that? Some would say because they didn't want bad publicity. Others would say they didn't want to get sued. I say they understood a key component to a good business. Customer Relations. They knew that if they kept the customer happy they made more money. Even if keeping the consumer happy meant they had to apologize from time to time and shell out cash on "I'm sorry" gifts. So whats that have to do with Stage6. Everything actually. Now don't get the analogy wrong here. I am not saying the stage owes us some great big box of toys (that be nice though). What I am saying is the Stage would do well to heed the example. Right now a lot of people feel like the Stage views them as scum. When people email them what they get in the way of a response is nothing more than a cold automatic reply. No real answers are given. I even had one friend get a very bitchy response to a suggestion she sent that basically said, "mind your fucking business". On top of that the site constantly has issues with slow ups, lags, codec player problems, and now (as of the last 4 days) uploading. Sure all of us want these issues dealt with. But I think we all honestly know that a site this size will have bugs from time to time but I think what we all also know is that the way we have been treated as of late is bullshit. Sure it's a free site. Sure we have no say in how its run or how they react to us. But the same can be said of that toy company too. They didn't have to do a damn thing. But they did. What we be nice is to have the Stage be active for once instead of reactive. To have them engage us as a community and answer some basic stuff. To at least tell us, "Hey, dumbass uploading is dead for the next week so lay off it". That's all. Some would say its a free site so take it or leave it. Exactly my point. We can leave it. YouTube is going to update their flashplayer soon and the one that is going to be put in its place will rival DivX. Yeah, you heard me, flash players can be good. Eventually. There are a ton of free sites out there. We stay here cause' we like it. But if Stage wants to keep treating us like the unwanted step child then maybe we will move back in with mom again ( whether mom is Veoh, YouTube, DailyMotion, whatever you get the point). Is it really so hard to have them blog about site issues rather than some douche who like to jog. Would it require so much of their time to respond to us on major issues that effect our use of their site. I don't think so. Took me 10 mins to write this. And it's long. They could do half this and what they wrote would keep us informed and shut us up. So why the hell not? Stage. Why not?

Jim's autism on full display

Sanctuary6

After Stage6 died, Jim started a shitty wiki board for all his friends on Stage6, by the name of Sanctuary6.

Profile

Home town: Forest lake
Birthday (month/day): October 9th
Current residence: Home
Occupation: College Student
My guilty pleasure(s): Really???? I am a guy. I think that is answer enough. LOL.
The best word to describe me is: Me
My hero(es): The guy who stood up to the tank in Tiananmen Square. That actually made me cry. Brave bastard. 
Words or phrases I overuse: Endoplasmic Reticulum
My superpower is: I can see leprechaun's
What else you should know about me: Lots
In the movie version of my life, I would be played by: Only my amazing self could ever hope to bring to life the story that is me. Why it only makes sense that I would play myself. Hazaa, I am an arrogant douche. LOL.
My childhood ambition/career goal: The combination of astronaut and police man. A policenaut. Sadly I have come to find out that this position has yet to exist. Fingers crossed though.
If I were a breakfast cereal, I would be: Off the shelfs due to complaints about the amount of alcohol contained within. 50 proof puffs aren't for kids. Silly Rabbit.
If I could tame and ride any animal, it would be a: Liger. Cause that way I get two for the price of one. Checkmate, Logic.
If I could live anywhere, it would be: Japan
My dream job(s): Writer
My dream vacation(s): Paris
Last movie I saw: CloverField 
Last book I read: Eternal Ice : Book 2 of the Ice Age Cycle
Last album I listened to: Sorry whats an album. LOL. Is that like the grandfather of an MP3 or something.
Last big splurge: Sega Saturn I bought at the mall today. Not a bad price for classic gaming cool.
Last vacation: St. Thomas, St. Martin, and other caribbean islands.
Website(s): Wow thats like asking a parent which kid they love the most.
Hobbies: Apparently filling out fucking forms. LOL
Food(s): Pizza
Gadget(s): Anything gaming related
Vacation spot(s): Anywhere warm
I like my eggs... Away from my plate. Yuck... : (
Game(s): All of them
Sport(s): Naked Female Wrestling... Thats a sport, right?
World leader(s): The ones I like are all dead. : (
TV show(s): Daily Show, Adult Swim lineup, Bunch of others.
Celebrities: God, I wish they were all dead. LOL. Next question.
Charities/Causes: The Jim81Jim charity. Please donate. 
Movies: Red Violin. Great movie.
Musician(s): Anyone not named Yanni
Song(s): Anything J-Pop or K-Pop
Dessert(s): All of them. Chocolate cake. 
Quote(s): None. You can quote me on that too if you like. : )
Cartoon character(s): ZIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friends

AnimeQueenXD: An attention whore fat drama queen who was big into twilight.

YouTube

In the beginning when Youtube was young and not a commercialized jewfest like it is now, Jim was just one of many commentators who would always get off at starting drama fights with other users. His favorite hobby was laughing at other autists as they make an ass out of themselves (which seeing as this was back in 2007 meant, pretty much everybody.)

During this time his most well known drama incidents was his slap fight against classic autist Spax3, and his personal war against the existence of Juggalos. In short, it was the beginning of a long and gayass legacy.

Jim's professional critique on Spax3's personal website

Jim vs ICP (Part 1)

Jim vs ICP (Part 2)

Previous Video | Next Video

Act II: Internet Aristocrat

Near the time for the end of the world, Jim shed off his old identity of Jim81Jim, and put on the metaphorical powdered wig of lulz as he created his new persona: The Internet Aristocrat. As Youtube started getting serious so did he, as Jim realized he needed to go bigger. Move away from trollbait retards and go for the grand prize: Social Justice Warriors. Searching high and low, he searched to find the hive of these dramamakers looking for the infinite source of lulz. And after ~~years~~ minutes of searching, he found the motherload of shit: Tumblr.

Shows

Tumblrisms

With the discovery of Tumblr, Jim had hit the jackpot. He could only contain his erection for chaos for so long that he needed to stroke it fast and violently, letting out that jizzstream of lulz. So he created two shows to highlight the faggotry of otherkins, feminists, and the likes. Tumblrisms came to be that jizz, highlighting the many buzzwords of Tumblr such as Headmates, Cis-scum, and more.

Cis-Scum

Otherkin

Previous Video | Next Video

The Hugbox Chronicles

After the first few episodes of Tumblrisms, Jim started making a name for himself, causing outrage with many Tumblr users. So in order to keep the outrage going, he started cataloguing hissyfits in The Hugbox Chronicles.

My Little Molestation

It call comes Tumbling Down

Previous Video | Next Video

Gamergate

As Jim continued with his hunt for lulz, he couldn't help but smell a yeasty vagina in the distance stemming from Kotaku. He started catching the whiff of the backstabbing whore Zoe Quinn as she begins to fuck with Jim's guilty pleasure, video games. Angry at the multicolored feminist bimbo queefing on his sweet sweet vidya, he demanded satisfaction and begun a series of lulzy videos he used to destroy the reputation of Quinn, and all the San Francisco fags that took a whiff of that queef.

What Jim failed to realize, is in his quest for revenge, he ended up creating a movement; a movement that would change autism forever. His inner /pol/ack made him feel heroic, that he was leading the charge against a corrupt society gone mad, and had to keep going with it.

Previous Video | Next Video

But eventually, his powertrip subsided, and he realized the consequences of his actions. In his powertrip for revenge he became the one thing he mocks the most: a faggot. In his shame, he burned his powdered wig, told everyone of his followers to do the right thing, and he disappeared forever...

Act III: Mister Metokur

Six months passed since Jim disavowed the movement he created, and while he was living the peaceful life, he started getting the itch again. His love for lulz was too great, and he began to go into withdrawal. He hungered for spergs, hungered for Tumblr dykes, and wanted that sweet sweet drama back. So, like Chris-Chan rising up after his sex change, Jim returned to the world as Mister Metokur. Notable subjects of his videos include:

Nick "Pedopoop" Bate - got v& for reasons you could probably guess
Jonathan Ross - tried to commit unalive by drinking febreeze after getting outed as a pedo
Randy Stair - AKA Tranny Phantom. Shot up the grocery store he worked at before going to the afterlife to obtain some sweet, sweet ghostussy

Shows

Dead Series

Returning to Youtube, Jim decided that he needed to expand, so he created three new shows in order to triple the amount of lulz. They were:

Hollowed Halls: A series set in leftist colleges.
Internet Insanity: A series where Jim just reads articles we write. (thieving bastard)
The /x/ Files: A series where Jim reads a horror story from /x/.

Hallowed Halls

Internet Insanity

The /x/ Files

Previous Video | Next Video

Deviants

Since all three of his shows didn't kick off, Jim needed to find a new source of lulz to exploit. He couldn't go back to Tumblr, and he didn't have the motivation to do Reddit, so where does any massive failure go from here? Deviantart, of course. Just from the news that he was going to do a show on Deviantart fetishes every autist on the interwebs immediately shat their diapers (Figuratively and literally) and immediately went on Protocol Zero.

Pump Me Up Baby

Get in My Belly

That's One Hairy Baby

Previous Video | Next Video

The Pampers Pandemonium

Deviant's was a second coming for Jim. He was enjoying making the series and it brought with it an endless supply of asshurt and tears from sick fucks. However, the third episode on Furry diaper lovers (we're just gonna pause here so you have a minute to let that sink in. Furry diaper lovers; Yes, we have now hit rock bottom - ) several diaperfags immediately broke into a blood boiling rage that they were being exposed for the sick fucks they are. In retaliation, they immediately attacked Jim in a mass false flagging campaign, erasing his video from existence, (Until Youtube realized the reports were false and brought the video back the next day.) After his video was restored, the zombie husk of the Youtube Commentary community rose from the ground to have one last go on Jim, but Jim being the shitlord he is immediately kicked them back into the dirt where they belong. One of the autist commentators who tried to take Jim down in his weakened state was the brony cuck himself: ForNoGoodReason.

Brightsidebob

In this thankfully dead series, Jimbo, does his best to make fun of Darksydephil, by just commentating over Phil's extremely bad gameplay, with even worse commentary. You are not Retsupurae, Jim, and you never will be. The videos are all hourlong tribes of autism, making them even more unbearable than DSP's as at least he knows how to edit. The only thing funny about it is when you realize how alike Jim and Phil really are.
Both live in the Midlands. Both have Asian girlfriends, where Phil jerked off himself on stream, Jim jerked off his mongoloid sexbot Jay3dfox (Jem Mee Lee). They are both awful at videogames. Both have a rabid retarded fanbase. Both are overweight. Both have insanely many channels. And neither can produce anything of value.

It's Over

The inevitable happens. After over 3 years, someone (most likely Kraut/Sargon/Tonkasaw) finally "discovered" the dox that have been on this article and "doxed" James Patrick O'Shaughnessy by paying some guy to pay some guy on kiwi farms to re-discover shit (archive) we already knew, that Zaiger hard deleted because he needed Jim's fan's views for crack money. They then passed the blame on to an autistic Obi-Wan LARPer as they flaunted the dox they could have just asked us for. James takes his fall with grace, craking his usual jokes and banter, but his fanboys who worship Jim like a God go deep within the goaste of denial. Meanwhile, Josh from Kiwi Farms has a mental breakdown over people criticizing him and Jim's laughter (which he took as a personal attack on the integrity of his retarded web forum) and banned the person who posted the dox using an excuse that anyone on his site could be accused of doing. Dramacrats are encouraged to screencap their rage and denial.

Just when Jim was getting boring and running out of ideas, he gets doxed. Was it planned? No. Potato Niggers, while capable of shot term-trickery are incapable of long term planning.

Act 4: Cancer AIDS and its Consequences

Everything that happened to Filthy Frank happened to Jim: autistic fans invade his personal space, furries threw feces at his lawn, and unordered pizza boxes and porn catalogues piled up on his porch. Despite these setbacks, life went on pretty much the same for Mr. Metokur and his Asian concubine. He gave up on editing videos sometime in 2017 after Jewtube kept cucking him by deleting anything he put any effort into.

Jim eventually discovered the art of hosting livestreams that went on for way too long every month in which he laughed at autists like Matt Jarbo and stole material from ED and Kiwi Farms, and e-begging for superchats. This went on until December 31, 2022 when he put on his alleged final livestream due to the contraction of a rare and untreatable Cancer/Aids hybrid. Rumor has it that his diagnosis of cancer aids is fake and gay, since it's apparently not delibitating enough to keep him away from shitposting on Twitter. Some say he just wants to put some distance between himself and his extremely autistic Sweetie Squad fanbase by retiring the Metokur moniker and starting anew.

Usernames

SirJimbo
MidLifeJim
AlexAtAlexIsAlex
AlexIsAlex
KingAlexander69
JimJimThe81st
SteveJobsGhost
GamingInMinnesota
TheTerribleLPer
SuzyScales
RetardedCartoonHorse
GamesGoodMeBad
GhostingPuppets
InternetAutistocrat
Haberhass
Double Decade Gamer
TimeForSomeTism
TheDinnerDates
LizTaylorsGhost
Ghost of Jim81Jim
AIAlbert
Mij18Mij
8844alexander
JustJim
MisterMetokur - His current channel.~~LOL B&~~ BACK!!1
XenoJim
Jim81JimReturns
Wawawhopsie
TheInternetCriminal
James Semaj
h8g765ro0gjn8
FurryPandaemonium
NintendosAdvocate2
BullshitForums
BrightSideBob - His current secondary channel, with all the unfunny livestreams nobody wants to see.
Dr. Murdoch
Billy The Anti-Bully
Hal - His ACTUAL secondary channel with all the unfunny livestreams. He renamed BrightSideBob to this.
MisterAntiBully

He still has a large amount of not-yet discovered accounts on Youtube and different websites. He's mostly unknown because even he realizes how cringe-worthy they are and will not mention them.