Singapore
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SLAVERY STILL EXISTS HERE AS A FORM OF MAIDS! WE PUT THEM IN PARKS AT SUNDAYS ONLY. |
Singapore is a hermetically sealed corporate biosphere located between China and Malaysia. While the population is brainwashed to believe the 4-star joint (Chinese 7 star) is an independent pseudo-republic, the estate is in fact a Chinese Insular Outlying Territory, leased for 150 years by Beijing to His Perpetual Excellency Lee Kuan Jew.
Owned by the Master Race, the island is mostly an absolute clusterfuck of Malays, Indians and slaves from the south. Niggers and the other kind are a rarity, and the majorly conservative white population play the honored role of vermin. Bangladeshis are to Singapore as the Polish are to Europe.
Surrounded by Muslim nations like Malaysia and Indonesia, Singapore is under constant threat and is left paranoid and clutching a rusty knife behind its back.
Language and Culture
Singapore has four official languages: Singlish, English, Malay, Chinese and Tamil.
The Singaporeans, or Spores, have their own abortion of the English language known as "Singlish". It's most popular with the locals, despite the efforts of his Supreme Excellency Lee Kuan Jew. Ever since the British abandoned the colony of Singapore, the immigrants decided to add moonspeak to English. Singlish is so complicated and stupid that it has an over 9000 word article on Wikipedia. For example, all Singaporeans have the undying urge to add the word 'lah' or 'leh' at the end of every sentence. This is because they want to speak and sing at the same time.
The capital of Singapore is Singapore City, where all the evil lawyers and supreme judges that make up 40% of the population live and work. Singapore is half the size of New York City but 888% cleaner and safer. This is because, very much like Malaysia, the Singaporeans execute litter bugs, people who chew gum and drug smuggling Asstrailians on a weekly basis by hanging. In fact, hanging is an official national pastime and sport. Unlike the pussy Americunts, who quietly waste thousands of gallons of poison to put a convict to sleep, Singaporeans get off at seeing people suffering slowly and tenderly.
Among other national pastimes are maid abuse, since 70% of marriages in Singapore either end up in the death of a maid, kidnapping of a child, or family suicide. The latter is especially easy as 80% of the population live high-rise flats called HDBs. Which is another secret government project to control the population. It is very common to own a maid, in other words a slave, in Singapore. 90% of the population that isn't poor, which is 100% of the population as the government executes bums and hobos, has a slave in the household. This is an attribute picked up by their ancestors from the British who had Indian slaves.
Religion
Singapore's religious scene is one gigantic fucking gang bang. Churches, Mosques, Monasteries, Taoist temples, and even Jew plague the island nation. Despite claiming that it is a multi-cultural society, Jehovah's Witnesses is officially a banned religion. Without Lee Kuan Jew's supreme leadership, Singapore would be another part of the Islamic Empire.
Government
Singapore is under the leadership of his Supreme Excellency Lee Kuan Jew and his son Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong. Together, they use Singapore as a big money making generator to feed their ever growing wallets. Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong earns S$1,958,000 a year, he achieves this by lowering taxes but having secret tax traps everywhere else. One form of this secret taxing is sneakily placing ERP (Every Road Pay (Electronic Road Pricing)) gantries all over roads that lead in and out of Singapore City to tax the evil lawyers and supreme judges.
To protect Lee Kuan Jew's money, the government has two years of forced national service for all males who are 18 years old. If you chose to default, Lee Kuan Jew will personally ban and exile you from his country or jail you till you rot. This is also an effective method for detecting faggots. Once a faggot is detected, he is filed under Category 302 and discretely put into a position in the armed forces where there are no other fags for 100 miles and has no access to military intelligence. Since all Muslims are terrorists and suicide bombers, they would not prove effective against other terrorists from neighbouring Malaysia and Indonesia. Thus most Muslims are posted in the Police Force to serve their national service. Lee Kuan Jew knows that Muslims with guns equals terrorists.
Because Singapore is surrounded by the Islamic Empire, Lee Kuan Jew has no other choice but to dump what's left of his S$1,958,000 into the Singapore Armed Forces. Since most Singaporeans have extremely low IQ, most are given positions like truck driver or combat engineer. The result is an army of truck drivers and engineers.
Archeologists debate the true age of this bag of bones, but Noone can even remember how he came to be. Stories of him permabanning people from life for possession of catnip, public masturbation and other lulzy shenanigans have been passed down through the oral tradition of bards so he is assumed to be of seniority.
The government also enjoys banning random shit for no apparent reason. They also enjoy not offering a reason for why they ban the random shit that they do.
Singapore Airlines
Singapore is most known by its elitist international airlines, Singapore Airlines(SIA). It boasts a first world airport, Changi Airport, in Singapore. It also was the first to fly the A380 commercially. All of the air stewards are either failed beauticians, ex-hookers or clowns; as they are always seen with a face full of make up that is at least an inch thick. Flights only enter Singapore. No one ever leaves Singapore. Singapore Girls are also known as flying whores, as they provide for the tourists who come visit the lovely island that is Singapore and never leave.
The silly Australians and Canadians had to ban SIA from entering their airports because they felt threatened by the competition.
Summary of Singapore
- Chewing gum is banned. Nobody knows why, but it is. Possession is fine as long as it's not for retail.
- Hanging convicts occurs so often that nobody even cares anymore.
- Caning is a favorite pastime for cops on the island.
- Likes to stick its nose in places where it doesn't belong
- Is better off than the rest of South East Asia
- Has ridiculous laws and police enforcement
- Has a threatening elitist airlines
- Singaporeans are closet racists.
- Singaporeans are whiny bitches over how their life sucks.
- Is the most globally approved nanny state
Lulzy Shit
- The best way to troll the Stinkapore Police Farce is to keep asking them where the fuck Mas Selamat is. Update: He is in Malaysia Jail now after a year escaping from the Singapore Police. Update 2 : He was caught by *Malaysian* police, who refuse to extradite him on grounds of 'national security'. Proves that the Malaysian authorities can get the job done with far lower pay than their Singaporean counterparts (i.e. cheap).
- Another way to troll them is to just hold up a smiley face you drew on some cardboard, that's enough to get you v&.
Additional Singaporean Fun
Hip and cool
It's possible to troll typical Singaporeans by telling them:
1.Typical Singaporeans are humorless cunts.
2.There was no word for "creativity" in their language until the British squatted there.
3.All 3 Singapore Idol winner are Malays, even though Malays are a minority in Singapore (the lazy-ass Chinese majority don't even bother to vote because the show is shit).
4.The life time ambition of all Singaporean women is to marry, date or at least get knocked up by Ang Moh (slang for Jew).
5.If a Singaporean loses their job, they blame their government, immigrants, foreign expatriates, ur mom, etc. instead of acknowledging the fact that they are simply a ambitionless cunt.
6. Miss Singaporean 2009 is a slut, a thief, a liar and an ex-convict. She is also unable to spell ex-convict. Makes for serious lulz.
Singapore, the Second Israel of Asia
Like Japan, Singapore is a special kind of country, small, no resources and surrounded by enemies
SIMILARITIES BETWEEN ISRAEL AND SINGAPORE:
- Both countries are surrounded by batshit insane Muslim nations that could destroy them at anytime.
- Both invest too much in their Air Force
- In both countries, all Muslims are made to go for a year of reconditioning and torture to prevent terrorist attacks. Sweden tried it but it was just a kiddy palace (Swedes let certified terrorists run around killing infidels).
- Extremely fucking rich (WITH JEWS YOU LOSE).
- Both are massive arms-dealers.
- The Jewnited States gives all 3 free military equipment.
- Though all three love acting all "Multicultural" and "Tolerant", Japan, Singapore and Israel are all secretly extremely racist!
- All citizens are mind-controlled.
- Average IQ of all of them is about 120.
See Also
External Links
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