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Megan Thee Stallion
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| Megan Thee Stallion | |
| Born | February 15, 1995 (30 years old) |
| Nationality | Americunt 
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| Ethnicity | Milk Chocolate |
| Gender | Female |
| Occupation | Rapper |
Megan Thee Stallion (Powerword: Megan Jovon Ruth Pete) is a filthy whore with a big fat dimply ass looking like two whole loaves of lumpy bread attached to her backside and hyperactive sex drive that she loves to boast about, thus further marginalizing people with no sexual desires and pancake butts. She claims to be the hottest person on this planet while also looking like Kim Kardashian and King Kong had one big shit pile of a baby.
Always willing to sexually assault our ears (and our eyes)
During her childhood in Houston in the late '90s and early 2000s, Megan Thee Stallion never envisioned a different future than fat girls always bouncing their asses up and down when no sane humans wanted to see them. Instead of going to daycare like every child should be doing, she spent her afternoons in the studio with her mother, Holly Thomas, who performed under the name Holly-Wood. Megan viewed her mother as the first female rapper she had ever known, believing that singing about vaginas, sex, and butts as big as one's ego was an absolutely normal experience that everyone shared. While Holly-Wood was busy rapping, she assumed her daughter was occupied with coloring or watching TV, unaware that Megan was actually listening intently to her shitty music, dreaming of being an even sluttier version of her.
—Boy was Holly right about her daugther! | ||
Three weeks after the release of the video for her shitty hypersexual burger of a single "Big Ole Freak," Megan found herself in New York, poised to launch her new mix tape, Fever, as her mama was pushing daisies from a brain tumor that was probably caused by too much stress reflecting on phrases like "Sex Sells". Megan took that phrase WAY too seriously by constantly singing about her ass and vagina trying to lure those losers with nasty fingernails filled past the edges with strange, smelly goop from their undies who say they have a sickness for the thiccness with her annoying "Ah" noises. It's funny how Megan claims to be against sexual harassment because the lyrics of the music she shits out would very likely be considered sexual harassment to our ears! We shit you not! Here are some examples of her skankiness that will have you wanting to report her to the authorities for sexual misconduct!
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Cultural Appropriation
In addition to her mighty narcissism and singing about the ungodly amount of sexual desire within her, Megan also appropriates Japanese culture as seen in the gallery.
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Sailor Poon -
Boa Hand-Me-Some-Cock -
Gojo Fat-Assoru -
Bruno Pussy's-Rotting -
Kei Cum-Uno -
Jolyne Ku-hoe -
Suck-On-A (WAP) -
Death To Asexuality -
Shoto Hoe-doroki -
Murky-Hoe -
Trish Puta -
Whore-uichi -
You Milky Hoe! -
Slutty Gay -
Fat Slutty Stinku
The Shooting Incident
On July 15, 2020, fellow nigger rappist, Tory Lanez (Powerword: Daystar Shemuel Shua Peterson), decided that he had enough of women taking over the rap industry constantly spreading their pussy propaganda and shot Megan Thee Sluttion in the foot. TMZ fabricated it to make it seem like she had simply stepped in glass so that they don't get accused of racism. The whole incident kicked off after a party at Kylie Jenner's house, when Tory casually dropped the bombshell to Megan's longtime friend without benefits, Kelsey Harris, that he and Megan had been getting cozy with each other's underwear and what's underneath them.
During the car ride, Lamez decided it was the perfect moment to confront Megan, telling her to quit spinning tales to Harris about their relationship after having bonded over their shared experience of losing their mothers and endless occasions of fucking each other silly despite neither of them declaring themselves as boyfriend-girlfriend. Kelsey, who wished she was in Megan's position (except she was actually wanting to be Lanez' girlfriend), was completely in the dark about their relationship until the argument erupted. As tensions flared, Lanez unleashed a colorful array of insults, calling both women “bitches and hoes” because that's what they are. Apparently, the two also took a detour into a verbal sparring match about their music careers because nothing says “I care” like a good old-fashioned roast. As Megan walked out the car, she heard the nig with a smaller dick than the average straight white male shout, “Dance, bitch!” as he was half hanging out of the car with a gun pointed at her and pulled the trigger. Definitely not the kind of dance-off anyone wants to be part of!
Not long after, the police pulled over the vehicle carrying. Lanez knew he was in deep trouble like many black men do when they steal from the store, and he was practically begging Megan and Kelsey not to tell the cops he shot her, citing his previous legal woes and a desire to avoid more trouble. To sweeten the deal, he even offered them a cool $1 million to keep quiet, just enough for both bitches to get some much needed liposuction. A couple of weeks pass, Megan took to Instagram Live to share the real story, explaining that she had been shot in both feet. She was clearly not in the mood for rumors, setting the record straight while her followers drained of all their sex juice via fapping to her body were BAWWWWing like little bitches as everyone else was just minding their business. The aftermath of the shooting struck a chord in the hip-hop community, evident with how much they bitched and moaned on how the treatment and abuse of Black women are largely ignored in society. Three months go by and Tory was slapped in the ass (and dick) with a restraining order and forced to surrender any guns he owns.
— Megan, you torture sex-repulsed people's ears all the time | ||
Then in April 2022, Lanez found himself in hot water again when he was arrested for breaching a protection order linked to the case. He was quickly released after posting a higher bond of $350,000. Eight months later, a jury found Lanez guilty on three felony counts related to the shooting: assault with a semiautomatic handgun, possession of a loaded and unregistered firearm in a vehicle, and gross negligence for discharging his weapon. It took 8 months for Tory's lame ass to get convicted in a jury trial on three felony charges related to shooting Megan in the foot: assault with a semiautomatic handgun, having a loaded and unregistered firearm in a vehicle, and gross negligence in discharging his firearm. Eight more months later, August 8, 2023, Tory Lanez received a 10-year prison sentence for his role in the incident, with a high chance of walking out the prison either a half faggot or a hardcore faggot depending on how hard his anus gets forcefed all the meat his local prison has in store.
In November 2022, Mr. Certified Lover Boy, Certified Pedophile thought it was hilarious to take a jab at Megan getting shot by someone who got to stick his dick into her wet ass pussy beforehand in his song, Circo Loco, featuring fellow talentless rappist, 21 Savage. Right after rapping about how many teenage girls he's gotten butt-naked under the sheets with throughout his career, Drake decides to say that Megan was lying to get some BAWWWWWs from people who were still recovering from getting their ears catastrophically raped by her and Cardi B rapping about their nasty, smelly, coochies.
Sexually harassing the audience's eyes at a Kamala Harris rally
As means to pander to all those feminazi whores, human chocolate truffles, and sexually devious people in general, Kamala Harris thought it was brilliant to have Megan Thee Whorebag twerk on the stage dressed in a very slutty outfit. Of course, that made everyone except for the thicc loving losers whose hands stink of cum and vaginal fluids due to always fapping to Megan, uncomfortable. Even more shocking is that there were even CHILDREN at that rally. Is this what Kamala meant when she told the people who don't catch sexual feelings for others to "just be normal"? Big fucking yikes!
Megan Thee Hypocrite
— Megan trying to excuse herself and Cardi for violating our ears. | ||
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External Links
Megan Thee Stallion is part of the following series:
