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Native
Native //neɪtɪv// From French natif, from Latin nativus, from natus, ‘birth’.
Adjective
- Characteristic of or relating to people inhabiting a region from prehistoric times who receive money checks Cash american -- fundage and such for their ancestors having been pwnt by evil squatters.
Noun
- A person who is descended from people who squatted the land first, making it theirs by inheritance.
- A North American Injun or Aboriginal person.
- Sometimes used pejoratively against indigenous peoples by the colonizers.
- Some asshole natives must have kidnapped andraep'd our cattle. Thereby, justifying every fucked up thing we do, henceforth, in the name this great nation and righteous, upstanding folk..
Usage
The term "native" has different social and political connotations. In some cases, it refers to a brand of cigarettes offered by the first nations to kill off invaders with cancer and emphysema. In other cases it is a neutral, descriptive term, for someone with an accent that makes one want to gouge his or her ears out, like a "native" New Yorker or a native of India... or where-the-fuck ever. However, in the context of colonialism; especially Britfag colonialism; the term "colonial native" was a disparaging and patronizing word for Americunts. Brits knew that Americans were incapable of taking care of themselves and in need of The Royal Family to rule their lives. At present English speakers use it, or don't, because Americans don't know what it means nor do they give a shit. This connotation led to drama over the preference of the terms Native American or Injuns, but is far better than being dubbed a worthless alcoholic or a lazy welfare recipient. In the movie, the Gangs of New York, "natives" are whites who want to keep the land pure and free of drunken, ginger Irishmen and sheepfucking Welshmen. Much more can be learned from the other ED articles, found below.
Peoples Around the World
Oceania
Māori of New Zealand
| At Least it Wasn't All for a Lousy T-Shirt |
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| Maori /ˈmaʊəri/ are natives of the islands of New Zealand who, according to wise historians at Urban Dictionary, traded their land for weapons and methylated spirituous liquours to kill other Maori then get hammered. After quenching their thirst for blood and their hunger for human flesh, they realized that they had been ripped off by their white friends and took to killing whiteys. When they failed at this, they turned to thievery, at which they have become quite adept.
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Abbos of Australia
| 50,000 Years of Progress! |
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| Expert archaeologists consider Aborigines /ˌæbəˈrɪdʒəniz/ to a possible ancestor to mankind, though Nazi scientists dispute this claim. Supposedly, they emigrated to Australia over 50,000 years ago and spent a considerable amount of that time finding different purposes for sticks and getting high off dodo oil. They are renowned for their ability to consume liters of petrochemical laced alcoholic beverages and survive, among other accomplishments like driving animals to extinction, and jacking cars using antennae or dipsticks. The didgeridoo is revered for its unique acoustic sound by hippies, who also sit around listening to other obnoxious instruments like the sitar, but most people can only stand for the few seconds that it reminds them of dinner at Outback. Moar in Main Article |
Central America
- Mexicas, Mayans, and Aztecs
| ¡Viva México! |
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| When Christopher Columbus, Hernán Cortés, and other Spanish conquistadors, bless their souls, arrived in the new world at Mexico, the major players among the natives were the Aztecs, the Mayans, and the Mexicas. They were quickly overthrown and subjugated because they had not only feeble weapons, like blades made of carved jade stone or volcanic glass pounded into wood, but a concept of warfare that involved capturing (rather than killing) enemy combatants. The Spanish wore sensible armor and carried weapons like steel swords and guns. Many of the conquistadors were Marranos who wanted to find gold, under the guise of converting "Indians" to Christianity, and were willing to do so at any cost to the native inhabitants. Most of their cultures were corrupted beyond redemption and whatever gaps left by the conquistadors were filled by famine, disease, and the Jesus. Rape of native women was common because shirtless native girls are hard to resist for grog-drunken sailors, but it led to the creation of the Mestizos, a mistake that plagues white america to this day.
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SB-1070? -
Just pretend they're rice! -
It's safer than the water. -
Message from the Church of Michoacan
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Northern Europe
Celts
| Homeless Drunks |
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| Celts /kɛlts/ are natives of Northern Europe. The Celtic tribes are the forefathers of many European peoples. Among them are the Irish, Scottish, and Welsh. Celts, like all other indigenous people of the world, enjoyed killing each other and their neighboring tribes. Like all Caucasian people, they were fond of invading other lands when they got bored of life at home. Unlike others, however, they always failed at everything and do not control any piece of land they ever inhabited. What sets Celts further apart from other native peoples of Europe is their fondness for hard alcohol and sheepfucking, which is still prevalent in their culture. See Main Article for Moar. |
Teutons
| The Forefathers of Scheisse-Porn |
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| Teutons are the forefathers of all Germanic people. Among them are the Anglo-Saxons, Goths, Germans, and Scandinavians. Teutonic people, like Nazis and Vikings, have an insatiable thirst for gore and unfathomably disgusting pornography. Some are obsessed with racial purity and find incest preferable to dating AZNs or black people. Like the Japanese, they have no souls and that is why so many of them look like they were born in the village of the damned or worse, bear the ginger curse. It is hard to say who is the most notorious, among them. Scandinavians liked to raid villages, rape and/or kill most of the inhabitants, burn everything they didn't steal, and sail away (See the Article on Vikings). The English (Anglo-Saxons) liked to do the same thing, except that they would never leave. Thus, giving rise to Americunts, Canadians, Ausfalians, and all the other English speaking motherfuckers. (See the article on England for better coverage) |
Nomads of Eurinasia
Lapps
| Reindeer Fuckers |
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| Sámi are natives of Norway who are |
Gypsies
| The Original Trailer Trash |
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| What new could be said about gypsies. The Romani remain the most hated people of Europe despite Arabs doing their best to claim that status. Through gypsies, pikeys, and the like, Europeans grew to hate foreigners from India long before India began to troll the world with online scams, yoga faggotry, telemarketing, and IBM's call centers. The word conjures so many lulzy stereotypes, such as trailer trash, thieves, scammers, charlatans, knock-off merchants, witches, and nearly all other forms of human filth. Gypsies are the IRL trolls of England, who subject its rightful citizens to endless and inhumane trickery. Smart people get the fuck away at first site of a knock-off purse stand, lest they be heckled into approaching the stand to be lulled into believing they are getting a good deal on a fake Gucci bag, only to find that their cash was switched out for counterfeits by sleight of hand. Gypsies believe it is immoral to let a sucker keep his money. Thus, the term "gypped".See Main Article. |
Africa
| Machete Hackin' Fun! |
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| Negroes are the natives of Africa. What a wily bunch of homicidal maniacs there in Africa. If you are excited at the thought of seeing people getting their limbs hacked off because of quibbles over the price of an acetylene-torched rat or a radically overpriced rock someone found in a pond full of urine and faeces, then these are the people you want to meet. These kooky bastards will kill over just about anything. If one wants to get a grasp of just how bad it is over there, one only needs to watch Blood Diamond, Lord of War, and Hotel Rwanda; then do a Jewgle search to find out that these things are really happening, every day, in Africa.
The Hutu and Tutsi, which are tribal names created by the Dutch to separate the ugly ones from the pretty ones, have such an uncontrollable thirst for blood that some of the jungle roads were literally covered in hacked limbs and bodies. Liberians, whose culture is dominated by the descendants of repatriated African slaves, may be the most brutal and disgusting people on Earth. One of the most famous warlords of Liberia is the naked general, who would sacrifice a young child and drink their blood before disrobing and entering the battlefield. Sierra Leone is another war-torn area where one tribe enslaves another to dig through muck and filth for diamonds and people are hacked to pieces for almost any reason. Things really went to shit when the colonials were conned into granting them their independence by the United Nations. The colonizers were greedy, self centered arseholes who did not give a flying fuck about the state of the natives, but they knew how to run an economy and they kept things in as much order as is possible. The governments that replaced the colonial governments were far worse than greedy, they were genocidal maniacs with no idea how to maintain a modicum of normalcy or stability. People see Egypt and Libya on the news and think “how awful,” but these are a vacation in Barbados compared to the rest of the continent, other than South Africa.
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Try taking his candy! -
Obama's cousin -
What? Got a problem with genocide? -
'Sup Y'all?!
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Asia
Mongols
| Trolling Whitey |
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| The Mongols are a native tribe of Central Asia who, like their Turkish cousins, have a long history of trolling Eurotrash like the guidos of Italy and Germans. One of the ways they achieved the most brutal trolling of Eurofags, evar, was to spread diseases like Islam and Mongoloidism. Another hilarious method used to achieve lulz and epic wins at the expense of the European population was to catapult the bodies of soldiers, riddled with bubonic plague, over the walls of cities like Caffa. This had the effect of reducing the population to reasonably pwnage worthy levels and giving Mongols girlish giggles accompanied by IRL level ups. The mongols, like most uncivilized native tribes, were cannibals who would kill and rape for fun. Hitler was very hesitant to bomb England because they were one of the only peoples whose ancestors did not have the rape-child of a Mongol heathen hanging from the family tree.
Mongols were the forefathers of terrorism, and much explosive and disease related warfare tactics can be attributed to them. They did not leave their terrorism to just Europe, though, because they loved to starve and torture the Chinese, Turks, and anyone who crossed their path. The severe arse-kickings rendered unto many of those people proved that vegans are pussies and that carnivores, even if they are cannibals, are moar awesome than everything else. Unfortunately, they were furries who used horses and sheep for deviant night-time activities. Eventually, the Han people, with the help of the Slavs, out-bred them and turned Mongolia into China Junior. Currently, the country acts as a landfill for China and Russia but the people are growing weary of pictures of Meow Shit-Tongue and eating rice, so they are trolling the Chinese government with pictures of Genghis Khan. China doesn't like this, so maybe they have upped the ante by dumping hazardous and radioactive garbage into the food and water supplies, maybe this is all bullshit. |
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Famous for yelling “Khan” -
Put this on your dick to spread teh downs. -
Throw your dead friends over the wall with this. -
Put these on your dick for pleasure and lulz at the expense of women's rights. -
Victim of Mongoloid DNA
Natives of China
The Hans are greedy people who breed faster than cockroaches. They are blindly obedient and submissive to their government, thus they serve as an inspiration for the future of all leftard people. Their historical culture was so dysfunctional and horrific that the brutality of the communist regime of Mao was an improvement. They are egregious, disgusting homosexuals to the point that they drown baby girls or sell them to American celebrities. They are very, very mad at Japan for pwning them in World War II. They hate everyone, but they let anyone build a factory in their country to get their jewgold and steal their technology. See the article on China for moar details. |
Yes, these Armenian killers are from China. They were the Mongols' bitches who helped spread Islam. The Turks squatted upon Roman territory and renamed cities like Constantinople to moonspeak names like Istanbul. They pretend to be modern and civilized to get European money and American weapons, but ask any Kurd or Armenian how they really are. Read the article on Turkey to get a better idea. |
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Kenneth Eng, Chinese Ambassador to Amurrica -
Baby Girl Soup... What happens when no Brangelina shows up to the auction -
Flowers blocked by the PRC's Golden Shower Firewall -
Dinner, when babies are scarce -
Only in Animæ do they look like this -
Expect Delays -
Customary Turkish greeting ceremony for honorary international guests... They're so civilized! -
They love animals... so modern! -
Turkish cigarette lighter -
Their flag, the Old Gory, which is pretty fucking scary when one considers the world's history with countries who bear giant red flags
Other uses that nobody cares about
- A band from France
- A type of rock music made on reservations
- A character in X-Men comics
- An album by OneRepublic
- In computing, software is native support when it is running on the operating system for which it was written and not running (if you can call it that) under WINE.
Video Footage
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See also
External Links
Urban Dictionary knows all about Maori
New Zelanders Making the Maori Butthurt
Urban Dictionary Entry for Gypsy
| Native is part of a series on Ausfailia [Expand]
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