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AmericanDad86
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Warning! Editing this page may provoke a call to the Wikimedia Foundation, which totally runs Encyclopedia Dramatica. |
AmericanDad86 is a 38-year-old gay Wikipedia editor with the suave mannerisms of a bipolar five year-old giving a cat a bath. A true nigga hailing from Wisconsin, when he is not jamming corn up his ass and stabbing shit, he is on Wikipedia, informing everyone about his special degree in Journalism. Along the way, he goes hunting for white people and does battle with every person with better social skills than him, leaving few to avoid his wrath. In truth, he is only concerned about everyone else's behavior. Not only does he have a degree in Journalism, but also the sensibility to prescribe psychiatric treatment. Dr. Phil, bend over or get out of his way.
Whenever AmericanDad86 has a disagreement, he takes the matter to the wankfest at the Administrators' Board to state how concerned he is about the emotional state of everyone else. There, he will happily write a novel and insist upon its Pulitzer material. Utilizing his sophisticated Journalism degree, he has uncovered a truly insidious plot in which all the editors on Wikipedia are centered around a man known only as "Bbb23", who has been pulling the strings on all planes of existence with the sole goal of gaining mo' powah! Our only hope, AmericanDad86 realized, that after all the cases of other people not being as good at Wikipedia, other people being homosexual, other people personally attacking him by disagreeing, other people editing in his space, that there would only be one savior, (besides his black ass)...
♪ JIMBO WALES!!! ♫
So, he called Wikipedia and said, "Hep! I'mma bein' repwessed! Hawassment, evewywhehe!" The person on the other end paused then hung up.
The Epic Saga
AmericanDad86 came as a Christmas gift from God, (or dreidel from Yahweh, if you're into killing our Lord), when he entered the world of Wikipedia on December 26, 2012. Literally his first line of business was to report an editor called Cresix to the administrators. When they pointed this out, he knew nobody could be trusted and who has his daughter? Thus, he wheeled his chair back from the card table from which his Hewlett Packard laptop stood, looked out across the fields of corn beyond the Whitewater, Wisconsin trailer park and experienced an epiphany: He had to become the savior of Wikipedia. He had to become The One who would take on the administrators. He had to become American Dad... 86.
It did not take long for the man to cross swords and wrestle butts with fellow editors, leading him to get concerned with everyone's behavior and report them to the administrators, who he hopes to systematically murder one day. After engaging in our favorite pastime of reverting people who do not share his beliefs, he was banned by Bbb23, who obviously is an evil, evil madman! MuahahaHAAAA- sorry, I got excited. From that point on, AmericanDad86 knew who his nemesis would forevermore be and thus embarked upon his relentless campaign to see Bbb23 dead. In the meantime, however, he would spend most of his time lecturing people about the uniqueness of his Journalism degree, which automatically makes him far greater than us mere mortals. Editors who refused to lick his scrotum would be ordered to type new responses addressing him as "God". Administrators who interacted with editors he didn't like in years prior would be petitioned to have their long-standing administrative statuses stripped away.
One day, AmericanDad86 came across a fellow chicken-choker called CTF83!, who did not share his grammatical principles. He responded with this...
—AMERICANDAD86, God of Grammar. | ||
Thus began one of the most blown-out-of-proportion debates in the history of Wikipedia, in which CTF83! accused AmericanDad86 of being homophobic and the latter accusing of the former of something by writing a book. All the big players sprung into action and a massive movement to see him banned was made. Like an angelic Chuck Norris, an administrator called Floquenbeam floated on down and rescued AmericanDad86 like one would a box of gay kittens. AmericanDad86 started licking Floquenbeam's asshole for over a month and voluntarily attacked Bbb23 on his behalf by writing more books, when the administrator asked him to ease up. Now, fuck that guy! What a monster, asking a simple black man to not attack an administrator! What a disgusting asshole, that pigfucker Floquenbeam! Thereafter, AmericanDad86 called up the Wikimedia Foundation and asked for the deaths of Bbb23, CTF83! and Floquenbeam. Bbb23 for being Bbb23, CTF83! for being a homosexual and Floquenbeam for not hating Bbb23. Did I mention that AmericanDad86 doesn't like Bbb23?
One day, AmericanDad86 finally came out to CTF83! as a gay black man bravely living in Wisconsin. A parade was thrown. Soon after, he made peace with all his enemies, when suddenly a new user called ToFeignClef told AmericanDad86 that Bbb23 was organizing a massive campaign off-site to have him banned. Being a reasonable human being, AmericanDad86 accepted this as gospel, gave ToFeignClef an award and called the police, insisting that he would be pressing charges. While everyone else recognized this as a new form of Wiki-trolling, AmericanDad86's razor-sharp wit did not catch on for another two days. He apologized to Bbb23 for doing what he does best and the 2013 edition of The Adventures of AmericanDad86 came to a happy ending. The End. Or is it?
In June of 2014, after months of silence, the world rediscovered AmericanDad86 when this page went up on Encyclopedia Dramatica. After several I.P. addresses expressed their interest in AmericanDad86, he was made aware of his celebrity. Taking it like a boss, he wrote several books worth of why it doesn't offend him and cited that Alexa does not even have a ranking for EncyclopediaDramatica.com. Right there we have to agree with him. That domain that we do not own really does reek of rotten balls. But after making eleven posts, let's be clear that he does not care. I mean, if somebody else wants to take this page down, that would be great, but it doesn't offend him. I mean, it's not like this article would go on the front page of this website two days later, exposing him to thousands of fervent users. But since he beat us so fervently in his book, he doesn't have to worry. No... but maybe we could take the article down, since he's obviously not offended? Not offended at all, but maybe somebody else is who is black and gay?
How to offend AD86
There is an ocean of ways to offend AmericanDad86. Let's join Dr. Anonymous and discuss them:
- Disagree with him.
- Revert him. Your insolence will burst his semen balloon.
- Say that naughty N-word while discussing inappropriate things in a collegiate setting. That would offend any nigger.
- Be an administrator.
- Say that he should probably not pick fights with other people. That will warrant a phone call to the superiors at Wikimedia who do not pay their employees.
- Call him Ru'Paul. Though he is super, that's offensive for some reason.
- Talk to him about how great his Encyclopedia Dramatica article is.
- Bbb23. Fuck that guy.
The Bad Guys
—Oh, good. I was worried I'd "half" to respond to this mandatory interrogation. | ||
(You may want to play the Imperial March theme while reading this list).
- AndytheGrump - An irritating man who calls for consensus, when we should already know that AmericanDad86's Journalism degree makes all else null and immaterial.
- Bbb23 - The worst person in the universe. He once blocked AmericanDad86. Monster.
- Blackmane - He defied AmericanDad86... or, maybe just gave input while passing by one time. The first one sounds cooler, though!
- Blurred Lines - Besides having a super-gay name, this monster argued with AmericanDad86 about whether or not The Simpsons is
funnyan adult show. They were both blocked. - Canoe1967 - The man who started it all and brought AmericanDad86 front and center by getting into an argument that one time. Worse, he's white!
- Cresix - The first man for AmericanDad86 to see on Wikipedia and the first he tried to ban.
- CTF83! - Once used the word "nigger" to describe an offensive word. Not only is he an obvious racist, but also a homosexual.
- DarthBotto - Said that he should not accuse people of making personal attacks. THAT was a personal attack!
- Davey2010 - He was mean that one time that he pointed out that AmericanDad86 cannot count to five. One-two-three-five-fo-OH, FUCK ME!
- Doniago - This guy is too much like AmericanDad86 for his own comfort. (Grimace).
- Drmies - An administrator who once shut down an accusation of racism AmericanDad86 presented. Obviously, a racist... and a tranny.
- ElKevbo - This bastard dared to express his opinion about notability. How dare he?
- Floquenbeam - The Mother Theresa of Wikipedia, this administrator once saved AmericanDad86's ass when everyone asked that he would be blocked. When AmericanDad86 later wrote the tenth edition, best-selling novel called "Fuck Bbb23", Floquenbeam asked him to not do that. Now, THAT was uncalled for! He subsequently contacted the Wikimedia Foundation, asking for charges to be pressed for having an opinion.
- GB Fan - A truly awful administrator who reported AmericanDad86 for edit-warring twelve times in a row. He must be stripped of his tools, indefinitely blocked from Wikipedia and castrated for safe measure.
- Kww - A then-administrator who once disagreed with AmericanDad86. After providing full lectures on how Wikipedia works a year before and seeing the already pathetic administrator desysopped, AmericanDad86 paid a little visit to piss on his ashes one last time.
- InedibleHulk - He dared to scold AmericanDad86, then used naughty, naughty words. He must be punished... softly.
- RasputinAXP - Not only is he a former administrator, (which makes him evil), but he also told AmericanDad86 to pound sand. Nobody does that.
- Taroaldo - Once pointed out that AmericanDad86 is a diva. Everyone, stop what you're doing and listen to AmericanDad86's sonnet about why that is incorrect.
- ToFeignClef - A successful troll who fooled AmericanDad86 into thinking that Bbb23 was organizing a massive plot to see him dead.
- TParis - AmericanDad86 wrote a novel and this bastard have the audacity to ask him to abridge it. Nobody abridges art!
- Encyclopedia Dramatica - Yay!- I meant, oh, that stupid site with five users, no international attention whatsoever and this page that does not offend him at all. Not at all. Nope.
- You - Just sayin'.
See Also
- Wikipedia
- Ironholds
- Tyciol
- MrFetch
- Unwarranted self-importance
- Internet tough guy
- Asking for it
- Black Supremacy
External links
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AmericanDad86 is part of a series on Visit the Wikipedia Portal for complete coverage. |
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AmericanDad86 is part of a series on Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
| Featured article June 29 & 30, 2014 | ||
| Preceded by Are You Fucking Kidding Me |
AmericanDad86 | Succeeded by Mari Iijima |