- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
Walter Seifert
|
| |
|---|---|
| Walter Seifert | |
| Born | June 19, 1921 |
| Died | June 11, 1964 (aged 42) |
| Nationality | Kraut 
|
| Highscore | 10 killed, 22 injured |
| Top 50? | 38th |
| Style | Fire Emblem, Single Player |
| An Hero? | Yes |
Walter Seifert, A.K.A The Firedevil of Volkhoven, was basically the Deutschfag version of Adam Lanza. However, instead of using guns, Seifert decided to be original and use a badass flamethrower. Seifert's chosen location for his amoklauf was a Catholic elementary school in Cologne, North Rhine-Westphalia.
Seifert pwned eight kids and two teachers, and left 22 others with PTSD. Before the cops could arrest his ass, Seifert an heroed by drinking poison. He would be the German school High Score Champion for 38 years until he was BTFO by Robert Steinhäuser.
Background
Walter Seifert was born on June 19, 1921. He served in the Nazi air force for 4 years, before becoming a police officer. However, in 1946, he was diagnosed with tuberculosis and was kicked out of the police force. His tuberculosis eventually went away, though he contested this and accused his doctors of making false reports.
It should be mentioned that Seifert was a batshit insane schizo, as he was paranoid, rather quirky and always smiled at the wrong time. He even told his brother that he planned to kidnap young girls and hold them captive in his basement. Despite all this mental illness, Seifert managed to find a woman and marry her, only for her to die during childbirth. Seifert placed the blame on the doctors and wrote a 120-PAGE letter where he whined over his wife's death, and sent it to a bunch of doctors.
His Weapons
After realizing that his life was fucked, Seifert decided to make a bunch of homemade weapons to commit a school amoklauf. His weapons were:
| Class Setup | |
|---|---|
| Item | Accessories/Bonus |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Der Amoklauf in der Schule
On June 11, 1964, Seifert headed towards a random Catholic elementary school in Cologne, armed and ready to kill. Some crossing guards who saw him thought he was a mechanic (Despite the fact he had a fucking flamethrower), and didn't think shit about what was about to happen. Seifert blocked the school's gate, headed towards a bunch of classrooms and BURNED THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF EVERY KID THAT HE SAW!!!!!!!!!! Two teachers tried to stop him, only for Seifert to slash them with his spear.
After fucking murdering all those children, Seifert fled the school and drank poison while being chased by a bunch of people who saw all the shit he did. He was shot by die Polizei, taken to a hospital, and died from the poison that evening.
Graded Score
| Kill count: | 10/20 22 injured |
|---|---|
| Accuracy: | 10/20 |
| Style: | 25/20 Used a cool flamethrower and a spear instead of guns. |
| Butthurt: | 10/20 Isn't really that known outside of Germany. |
| Bonus: | 20/20 Former best German school killer. |
Wanted Level:
Federal Bureau of Investigation
Seifert's Theme Song!This guy too
Pics of Walter
See Also
|
Ze Federal Republic of Germany |
|---|---|
| Übermenschen | Charles Bukowski • Joseph Goebbels • Hermann Göring • Hegel • Adolf Hitler • Kale • Colonel Klink • Tim Kretschmer • Armin Meiwes • Angela Merkel • Nietzsche • Tobias Rathjen • Walter Seifert • Robert Steinhäuser • Norman Kochanowski |
| Untermenschen | Atimon • Uwe Boll • Sebastian Bosse • Conti • Dolphy • Firithfenion • Tanja Fleischer • Inflatablewolfi • Inuki • Bill Kaulitz • Daniel Kay • Karl Marx • Martin Peyerl • Peter Popoff • Rubeus Eden • Salih • Barbara Schwarz |
| Dinge und anderer Scheißdreck | The Royal Family • But you are died! • Car#German cars • DAS TROLLPARADIES • Downfall • Celsius • Final Solution • Germania • Halle synagogue shooting • Haribo® Sugarless Gummy Bears • David Hasselhoff • Heino Hijinks • Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle • Holocaust • Holocaust denial • Jagex • Kohlchan • Krautchan • Mecha-Hitler • Mein Kampf • Munich Massacre • Nazi Boys • Nazi fur • Nazi mysticism • Pants Nazi • Schadenfreude • Schlager • Secret Nazi • Six Degrees of Adolf Hitler • T-Mobile • Tom Preston/German • Valkyrie • Virgin Killer • Volapük • Zyklon B |
| Walter Seifert is part of a series on Dying Alone
[]
| |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
