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Ron Jeremy
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Ron Jeremy✡ (born Jeremy Ron Ronald Hyatt) is arguably the world's most recognizable Porn Star, male or female. Also known in the pr0n biz as "The Hedgehog" Ron has been knocking around the pussy for at least 100 years. Having starred in over 9000 pornos, a handful of 'real' movies and several TV shows (almost always billed as "Himself") he has transcended his chosen field and now finds himself as an icon of Pop Culture and shining example of The American Dream.
Ask anyone you know if they know who Ron Jeremy is and they'll say they do. Go on...try it now! They might not know why or how they know the name 'Ron Jeremy', but they do. So omnipresent is Ron Jeremy in the 'Collective Consciousness' that his name is now hard-wired into the brain at birth (see: abortion).
However, it is in the general area of being the only known Porn Star without a website that Mr. Jeremy has really excelled, never mind that he can suck his own dick, or at least he could before he got too fat to bend over that far.
History
Originally a Special Ed teacher with an eye on Hollywood stardom, Ron found little work in TV or the movies with a face only Nintendo fanboys could love but, OMFG who knew what was in his pants! A pen0r hueger than an XBox was what, is what. And, ironically, it was that pen0r and the way he slung it, that was to make him famous in Hollywood.
Ron's career in porn started a bit differently than most uber-endowed males. Unlike John Holmes, Ron could actually bend over enough to suck his own dick. His first films were of him blowing himself, and 30 years later those films are still available. The ads for which are still carried in the ad section of most cheap men's tittie magazines. Yep, that little thumbnail-sized ad with the guy sucking his own dick with the dick blocked out was Ron, age 20. LOL!
What little girl ever grew-up dreaming she'd end up buried under the hulking behemoth that is Ron Jeremy, awash in sweaty, malodorous blubber and coarse man fur? Probably one or two, because every Porn Star actually has a list of who she will and who she won't work with and thus it can be deduced that over 9000 little girls aspired to get buttsecksed and a facial from Ron Jeremy. Who knows...maybe it's his famous charm and humor and the fact that he doesn't drink or do drugs, but it's moar likely that they're whores with no-self esteem.
Super Hornio Brothers
Super Hornio Brothers is Ron Jeremy's most esteemed and notable work of art. He stars as the role of Mario (aka "Squeegie Hornio") who is warped into his computer with his brother Ornio Hornio (the green Hornio brother) while some sex-video game that Squeegie programmed was running. Now the two Hornio Brothers must find a way out of the cyberspace while dodging koopa succubi, but get sidetracked trying defeat King Pooper so they can eat Peach's cobber. The film was so awesome that it even got a sequel, though before the films could be published in 1993, Nintendo out-right bought the rights to the movies to prevent anyone from ever watching them and was only uncovered more recently by Something Awful users.
Controversy
Despite being Jewish Ron Jeremy was also the terrorist mastermind behind Al Qaeda's 9/11 plot. In March 2003, he was captured by the Pakistani Intelligence Service in the city of Rawalpindi, Pakistan where he was doing Islamic pornos (somewhat realted to Bukkake but where burqa clad hussies are beaten to death by an angry mob slinging rock-hard cocks instead of rocks) under the alias Khalid Sheikh Mohammed.
Raep Controversy
In 2020, Ron Jeremy was arraigned in court for alleged sexual assault charges filed on him by ladies who likely regretted being pelvically pwned by this wooly mammoth of a man many years after they spread their legs for him.
His terminal dementia and Jewish lawyer were his get out of jail free card as he was found to be incompetent and unfit to stand trial.
Danger!
Seeing Ron Jeremy in his 'work clothes' for the first time is something akin to stumbling upon /b/. You will not soon forget, nor will you ever be the same (/me shudders).
See Also
External Links
- No website but RON GOT A MYSPACE!
- commits multiple raeps and doesn't afraid of anything thanks to his jewish lawyer
Super Hornio Brothers- Jeremy Ron Jeremy
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