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Samuel Hengel

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This page contains an hero.


The most famous photo of Samuel ATM.

Samuel Hengel was a crusader for graet justice who, carrying some serious fucking heat, burst into his school and:

   
 
He fired shots into a wall, desk and projector equipment in the room, but never aimed at students.
 

 
 

Experts believe that his boring Wisconsin life played a role in his decision to commit such a mundane crime. Whatever the case, this young man's balls dropped in record time, and in about 3 hours he went from intrepid nerd to Ahnold status.

The Plot

Act 1 - Birth of An Hero

Unlikely Protagonist

  • After unleashing his fury on the classroom's movie projector and several unfortunate desks, he demanded that the students hand over their cellphones, apparently to prevent police contact; also hoping that nobody would discover something was wrong in a room that is supposed to fill with new students every 45 minutes. Samuel didn't seem intent on harming the children, as they kept him entertained with anecdotes and remembrances of times good and bad - although when it seemed like he was really about to flip the fuck out, many students credit their teacher with saving lives.

Act 2 - With Great Power... Comes Great Ineptitude

  • Having reached the end of his rope, unwilling to negotiate with cops or even admit why he did it, Sam put a bullet in his [undisclosed body part]. A smart man's money says he tried to blow his brains out, but as of yet, no news source will admit it, probably for vanity's sake.

IT LIVES!

  • Samuel did not succumb to his injuries on the scene; instead of going out in a poetic, emotional blaze of glory, the Grim Reaper opted to let him wallow in a pool of his own waste in a hospital bed for a good few hours. The stench was great.

Remembering Samuel

Look at that sweet, sweet boy. An true hero. Of course, what sets An hero apart from a good old-fashioned self-pwn is how fondly the potential hero is remembered.

Nobody outside of Wisconsin will ever remember him as anything more than a weak-minded psychopath, but his friends and family will always feel blessed for having known him, which is ironic considering the parents are the ones at fault. They can take solace knowing that since Samuel never specified a reason, next Thanksgiving won't be ♫AAAAWKWAAARD.♪... Scratch that. It might be awkward if the Packers have a bad year, or else Wisconsin won't have any other news to report on until next Thanksgiving. That being said, the rest of the world was ready to move on almost immediately.

   
 
find a new story, its getting old.
 

 
 

Wiguy, roughly 18 hours after the event.

   
 
Guns shold not be allowed on school prpoerty.
 

 
 

beteanheardt, chiming in with sound advice.

   
 
Guns are great

Guns are good

Let us thank Guns

For our food

Amen
 


 
 

—Salemstorm, of Youtube Fame

This was the general consensus throughout the land - Samuel wasn't crazy enough to warrant any kind of national reaction, and he didn't take anyone with him - although notably, low-income territories in Wisconsin now have a law limiting gun ownership to 4-per-household. Samuel also became an organ donor - having potentially saved the lives of five children (that number is expected to grow) with his organs... at least, for now. In all likelihood they will catch the brain AIDS that fucked up Samuel's wiring, and will all become An Heroes themselves.

See Also

Samuel Hengel is part of a series on Dying Alone

[DeadCry yourself to sleep]

Those Who Have Died Alone

Aaron AlexisAaron BushnellAaron SwartzAdam LanzaAlexis ArquetteAmanda ToddAmy WinehouseAnal CuntAndy KaufmanAngry GrandpaAnna Nicole SmithAnthony WarnerAsa CoonBrian AdamsBrandon CrispByuuCharmaine DragunCho Seung-HuiChris BenoitChris Harper-MercerChynaCodey PorterDavid BowieDavid CarradineDragoneerEazy-EEdaremElliot RodgerElvis PresleyGeorge SodiniGizgizGleb KorablevHappyCabbieHarambeH.P. LovecraftHeath LedgerJake DavisonJeff WeiseJewWarioJim MorrisonKate SpadeKitty0706Kurt CobainLemonade CoyoteLeelah AlcornLil PeepLiloLoki BlackfangLowtaxMia JaninMegan MeierMichael JacksonMitchell HendersonMySpaceNathan GaleNikita LytkinOtoya YamaguchiPekka-Eric AuvinenPrinceRandy StairRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRina PalenkovaRipperRobin WilliamsRonnie McNuttRudolph ZurickRyan PalmeterShawn WoolleyShayShuaibySol PaisStephen PaddockSteve StephensThomas Matthew CrooksTony48219TooDamnFilthyTyler DumstorfVester FlanaganWilliam AtchisonXXXTentacionZhao Zewei

Those Dying Alone

03bgood2cash2 gryphon7jackass77Adam SandlerAhuviya HarelAIDS SkrillexAkewsticRockRAlex FordAlison RappAmerica's Third PartyAmy SchumerAndrew AllansonAngry JoeAnimatedJamesAnita SarkeesianAnonymous BorgAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoAntony AguilarApril DavisAquagirlwhitefoxArgent009Arguecat3Arin HansonArmake21AsalieriAsher2500Austin AlexanderAvantGardePonyBambifan101BarneyfagBasement DwellersBen FordBen MoynihanBenny_the_SnakeBenthelooneyBig RedBikerfoxBill9929Bill GaedeBill GatesBLACKbusterCriticBob RehahnBrandontheMovieGuyBrandon SmithBrian MuellerBrian Richard ZaigerBrianna WuBroniesButLovaByAppointmentToCarl the CuckCartoonjunkieCaseydeckerCatboyKamiCheeyevChloe SagalChris-chanChris CrockerChuck M.Clint of Rise and FallCopperCabCorey MargeraCoughlan666CrazyvideosandrantsCrinklemonCyraxxDaniel BrandtDan CilleyDane CookDani FilthDarius McCollumDarknessthecurseDarksydePhilDave ChapelleDave MustaineDavid HockeyDaxflameDBoyWheelerDeekerDeterminedToDrawUTDev-catscratchDGTrixieDiaper BoyDillon CosseyDiogo MendesDisneyFan01DisneyMasterDJ KEEMSTARDnepropetrovsk maniacsDodgerofZionDogpatch PressDon RobertsDoodletonesDoomer3868Dorian_GayDoug WalkerDrakonDrossRotzankDoomentioDustinEDP445Emer PrevostEmosEpic Fat GuyEpicKitty54Eric AbramovEric RidenourErik RibsskogErtasVideosFilthy FrankFagolescentsFanFic CriticFast EddieFat ManFaust & Pory Five Nights at Freddy's fansFlardoxFluffy teh wolfForeverKailynFriends of A-LogFurriesG-ZayGather Against FateGeorge LopezGeosheaGhostGirlvinylGlobelampGoddessMilleniaGraykatGreg MazujianGwen GaleGwen StefaniHarmful OpinionsHellkiller777I Dislike Cis PeopleI Hate EverythingIan Miles CheongIchverboticze⁴rImma-The-DeerInkBunnyIsabella Loretta JankeJamil The KingJessi SlaughterJessica LeedsJim ProfitJINXDROWNEDJoe Crusher PicklesJoekerJohn BullaJohn FieldJohn KricfalusiJohn Patrick RogersJonathan McIntoshJonmonJonTronJoseph CampJoseph8276Joshua "Null" MoonJuggalosJustinRPGKat DenningsKendall JennerKeegan SalisburyKathleen ToddKenny GlennKevin HavensKeffalsKimmo Johan AlmKingEmpoleonKingMasterReviewKrashedLaci GreenLarry the Cable GuyLauren FaustLeafyIsHereLecarickLeigh AlexanderLeisureSuitGamingLena DunhamLeonard F. Shaner Jr.Leslie JonesLifeInATentLikeicareLinkaraLittleCloudLittleKuribohLogo KidsLordelthibarLow Tier GodLucian HodobocM. ChaosA Man in BlackManchildrenMar9122MarblesMarioMario456MariotehplumberMarjan SiklicmasteroogwgayMatthew DavisMatthew NicholsonMcJuggerNuggetsMDetector5‎MeowbarkMeganSpeaksMichael BattonMichael FitzhywelMichael GimsonMike SandyMoleman9000Monica PunkMonkeyGameGuidesMoviebobMumkey JonesMuZemikeMylarBalloonFanMysteriousMrEnterMysticArkNaokoElric2250NawlinWikiNeckbeardsNeoGAFNick BateNick BravoNikkineko333Noah AntwilerNostalgia ChickNotchNullcherriObjectfagsOFWGKTAOnideus Mad HatterOnyx ForepawPacificoceanasiaPaigeGirlPaul FeigPaulie CalafioreParkourdude91Peter BrightPeter CoffinPhantomStrider8Phil FishPhunWithLogicPinkieponyPit ViperPixyteriPeluchin EntertainmentPMRantsPreachingthegospelQuentin TarantinoRachael MacFarlaneRandi HarperRichard ReidRicki RavenRMG ProductionsRobert StaintonRobert Wayne StilesRockosockoRomeo RoseRootbrianRose3212Ryan RouthSad FrogSammyClassicSonicFanSam PepperSarah ButtsSarahisniftySaturnDOSSceptreSchnookumsSegacampSega KidSeth MacFarlaneSethistoShadmanSimply OkamiSlowbeef & DiabetusSnapesnoggerSonic SaviorSonmanicSony-MaeSophie LabelleSpax3StormySuperlisamcbSusan BoyleTara StrongTheAmazingAtheistTheDOSFagTheSockDetectiveTim BuckleyTJ LaneTodd in the ShadowsTom PrestonToonEGuyTourneyfagsTrey Eric SeslerTrigglypuffTyciolTyler GarmanyUlillilliaThe Unknown AutobotVadeVinceintheBayWade FulpWeatherManKevinWesley!!!WoWfan4lifeWwwareaWeegeeisgoingtokillmXenuriaYandereDevYoshiwii1Youyoungbloodfantasy91Zoe QuinnZone

Their Methods

9gagAdventure TimeAn HeroAIDSAnimuAlt-rightArt SchoolA-Log's Fanfictionask.fmAsperger's SyndromeAssigned MaleBath SaltsThe Big Bang TheoryBattle For Dream IslandBlackLivesMatterBlack metalBody PillowsBonziWORLDBitViewBoozeBullyingBuzzFeedChildren's CartoonsClown WorldComputer Science IIICosplayCumOnPrintedPics.ComCupheadDead FriendDeath metalDeath penaltyDating SimsDeviantARTDiscordDrugsEdginessFamily GuyFanFictionFeminismFedoraFidget spinnerThe Filthy Frank ShowFive Nights at Freddy'sFleshlightFriend ZoneFurAffinityFurry ArtFun Shitposting WikiGarry's ModGenshin ImpactGoAnimate!GooglewhackingGorillazGothsGravity FallsGreen DayGreeny PhatomGrindcoreHackingHappy Madison ProductionsHomestuck‎Hover hand‎HufflepuffHigh ScoreIncelcoreIndie musicInfantilismInsane Clown PosseIntrovertInvisible GirlfriendIRCJenkemKiwi FarmsKotakuLeague of LegendsLegoLibertarianismLiveJournalLonelyLoveShyMai WaifuMass ShootingsMen's rights activismMinecraftMLP ForumsMMORPGsMGTOWMUDsMy Little PonyMy Tiny DickNice GuyismNu metalOculus RiftOh ShiternetOnline datingOnline sex gamesOverwatchPlastic CrapPlenty of Fish/r9k/Rick and MortyRobloxRule 34RuneScapeSchool ShootingsSecond LifeSelf-VictimizationShy Boys IRLSilk Screen Goku ShirtSlayerSlipknotSluthateSmogon UniversitySocial JusticeSource FilmmakerSouth ParkSparkalloonSpeakoniaStar vs. the Forces of EvilSteven UniverseTaking the Internet Too SeriouslyTeam Fortress 2That Guy With The GlassesThe Anytown ShowThe EntersphereThe SimsThey Might Be GiantsTomb RaiderToolTransformersTulpasTumblrTV Tropestwenty one pilotsUnchartedUncle GrandpaUncyclopediaUndertaleUnikittyUTTPVidLiiVirginityVirtual YouTubersVloggerheadsWatchMojo.comWeezerWikimaniaWizardchanWorld of WarcraftYIIK: A Post-Modern RPGYouTube

Samuel Hengel is part of a series on Education

[Drop OutGo To School]

Samuel Hengel
is part of a series on
An Heroes

[iPod][Xbox]
Died Alone

1-14 Jakarta AttacksAaron BushnellAaron HowardAaron SwartzAcidChanAdam LanzaAdolf HitlerAkbarzhon DzhalilovAlan TuringAlexis PilkingtonAmanda ToddAn HaloAndrea PignaniAndrew KehoeAndrew KoenigAnthony WarnerAnton Lundin PetterssonArtyom KazantsevAsa CoonAugust AmesBen VoddenBob8466Brandon CleggBrandon CrispBrandon HoleBrenda WilliamsBrigit GonzalezBroadt LedetBruce PardoBubba CopelandBudd DwyerCandyjunkieArcan CetinCharles BishopCharmaine DragunChloe SagalChris BenoitChris DornerChristine ChubbuckChristopher FosterChris Harper-MercerCho Seung-HuiClay DukeCodey PorterDavid RitchesonDerrick BirdDevin KelleyDustin MichaelsDylan KleboldElliot RodgerEmma JonesEric HarrisEtikaEuler GrandolphoGeorge HennardGeorge SodiniGizgizGleb KorablevHannah BondHeath LedgerHunter S. ThompsonIsrael KeyesJake RobertsJames LeshkevichJarrad WillisJaylen FrybergJeff WeiseJenny GrantJewWarioJiverly VoongJodie Gater and Stephanie GestierJoe StackJohn HouserJonathan Kendrick LewisJosé BettsJürgen ConingsKevin Neil WhitrickKlerckKurt CobainLeelah AlcornLivecorpseLowtaxMatthias SchoormannMario FerreyraMarvin HeemeyerMcSkilletMegan MeierMercedes HerreraMia JaninMitchell HendersonMr. HandsMatti SaariJosh BallardNathaniel BerhowNghtmrchld26Nikita LytkinNikki CatsourasOldDirtyBtardOtoya YamaguchiPanya KhamrabPaula GoodspeedPekka-Eric AuvinenPetri GerdtPhilip MarkoffQuentin HubbardRachele RuddRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRichard JeniRina PalenkovaRobert CardRobert HawkinsRobin WilliamsRonnie McNuttRudolph ZurickRyan PalmeterSadie DavilaSalman AbediSam LeesonShane HalliganShaun DykesShawn WoolleyShayShuaibySol PaisStephanie Michelle BrownStephen KazmierczakStephen HuffStephen PaddockStiletto oneTang YongmingTatiana the TigerTerry DavisThe An Heroes of BridgendTim KretschmerTimothy HendronTony48219Tyler ClementiTyler DumstorfTyler PetersonVerne TroyerWilliam Atchison

Failures

Adf-fuensalidaAhuviya HarelAlek MinassianAmber ButtrumAmy BishopAnton BichivinAriana RaykottoAudrey HaleAydin PaladinBernie MadoffBrandon ClarkBrenda SpencerBrian ClydeBrian ConnorsBrook HigginsCampo DelgadoCharles ZieseCobanermani456Colonel McBadassCrystal ShinkleDavid GrayDeWayne CraddockDimitrios PagourtzisDmitry VinogradovDylann RoofGabe ParkerGeorge StinneyHugo JacksonIlnaz GalyavievImma-The-DeerJakrapanth ThommaJames HubertyJamethJarrod RamosJeffree MoonJessica EvertJonathan RossJoseph CampJustin-anonLindsay SouvannarathLolo FerrariMamoru TakumaMartin BryantMary BellMichael CarnealMichael GimsonMissyMychal BellNeograntNikkineko333Nikolas CruzNoah EsbensenNuzzieKomaOwen WilsonPikacat39PogoRooRainBoy107Richard ReidRandan FontaineRex FowlerRobert CrimoRobert LongSalvador RamosShaan SinghShinji AobaSienna JohnsonSirtom93SneakylizardStephen FryTakeShotActionTimur BekmansurovTJ LaneToaster SteveTom PrestonTooDamnFilthyTumbles the StairdragonViper

Related Pages

90 Day JaneAn hero dayask.fmAutoerotic asphyxiationColumbineGolden iPodHeaven's GateHigh ScoreHow to become an heroJeffrey EpsteinMydeathspacePseudocideShotgun mouthwashSuicideSuicidal FailureThe Great Sonic-cide of 2007Threatening suicideVirginia Tech massacreWaco

Samuel Hengel is part of a series on Psychopaths
[It rubs the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose againOpen the box]
Spree/One-time Killers:

Aaron AlexisAdam LanzaAlex HribalAlyssa BustamanteAnthony WarnerAudrey HaleBruce Jeffrey PardoCasey AnthonyCho Seung-HuiDevin Patrick KelleyDylan KleboldDylann Storm RoofEric HarrisGerry McCannJames HolmesJared Lee LoughnerJason RodriguezJeff WeiseJiverly Voong Joe StackJosef FritzlLaaiti EkenstéenMark EssexMartin BryantMatthew de GroodMatthew MurrayMatti SaariMaurice ClemmonsPekka-Eric AuvinenRaoul MoatRichard SpeckRobert HawkinsStephen PaddockTim KretschmerTimothy HendronTJ LaneTyler PetersonWade Michael PageWoo Bum-kon

Career/Serial Killers:

Academy ManiacsAdolf HitlerCharles MansonChris BenoitDnepropetrovsk ManiacsDubyaJack the RipperJeffrey DahmerMao ZedongRichard "The Iceman" KuklinskiTed Bundy

Terrorists:

Al QaedaAnders Behring BreivikAnderson Lee AldrichAnton Lundin PetterssonDzhokhar TsarnaevElliot RodgerGeorge SodiniManiacs Murder CultMark EssexNidal Malik HasanOsama bin LadenTamerlan TsarnaevTed Kaczynski

See also:

Antisocial personality disorderJewsMurderParanoid personality disorderPittsburgh Paint JobPolice BrutalitySick fuck