Adolf Hitler

#Hitlerdidnothingwrong

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Hitler of course

Jews did Hitler

Hitler's bastard daughter Angela (left) at a Stasi resort in 1972. She is now the leader of Germany.

Adolf "Der Übermensch" Hitler^卐 (April 20, 1889 – April 30, 1945) is perhaps, the greatest figure that shall be immortalized in World history forevermore, for History cannot be ever taught without mentioning the name of Hitler. He is the Superman prophesized by Friedrich Nietzsche, a messiah who took it upon himself to cleanse the free world of the greatest parasitic cause of debt on the planet, and was one of the 20th Century's most misunderstood political revisionists, a genius who saved Germany from the Great Depression, and paving the way for Germany from being Europe's backwater into the economic and engineering powerhouse we know today. He is also the Undisputed Champion of the Art of Ranting, Among his inventions were the Autobahn system, the Volkswagen cars, the Me-262 (the first true Jet fighters) the V2 superweapons (which the Amerijews and Russians stole to power the Space Race), and a way to convert useless parasites into an efficient form of Renewable Energy. He also planned to renovate Berlin into a utopia called Welthauptstadt Germania. Up to today, he still holds the high score in IRL Risk. He was undefeated until he went up against fellow sociopathic asshat Joseph Stalin, although Americunts like to think they had something to do with it. He broke new strategic ground with his Blitzkrieg tactics, which effectively meant that he was in your nation, killing your j00z.

Hitler was a Child Prodigy who attended the Vienna Academy of Fine Arts but unfortunately was expelled because the academy's administrators mocked his artistic designs and told him he should pursue architecture and making shitty anime. He, being the Original Emo Kid, also had a history of child abuse and rape from his (Jewish) father and in school was always bullied by those rich-ass kikes for his lunch money, which is why he had an epiphany that the Jews were bullying nations into paying up debts they never even had, thus paving his journey to use his genius to pursue multiple degrees in Philosophy, Political Science, Biology, Thermodynamics and Chemistry, so that he could unmask the Truth of the Jew menace and attempt to enact the greatest plan of Human Liberation in all of History.

There has been evidence that he also had Jewish ancestry, and, rather ironically, was blamed for a mass killing-off of Jews in Europe. Liberal Media wants to portray him as a overweight, perverted, sexually deprived, gay, racist, homophobic, Jew-in-denial, highly functioning autistic. According to das Juden, during his holiday in Germany, Hitler had a party (complete with fully catered bar-b-que) with six million members—this party has come to be known as "The Holocaust". In fact, he was a sensitive hero who tried to save the undeserving Jews from the racist Germans that he, an Austrian, loved so much.

Contrary to popular belief, Hitler was not killed by Aldo the Apache and his band of Jews, who brutalized the peaceful Germans for the promise of jewgolds in return for each clitoris removed from German schoolgirls. He turned out he escaped. Years later the DNA testing on one of the supposed skull fragments showed that that not only did the DNA not match any recorded samples but they didn't match Eva Braun’s familiar DNA either. The Russians lied, who would have thought?

His latest successor (and possible descendant) is Donaldus I of the House of Florida Man, God-Emperor of Mankind.

Why Hitler Was Right

The entire European mainland consists of landlocked nations who can't control their borders effectively. The resulting confusion of cultures means that a strong racial identity never really developed in European history. The effects of this lack of identity persist in cucked nations like Sweden and Norway. Germany was not immune to this lack of racial identity either, and the results can be seen in the open door policies of Angela "Burqa" Murql.

Hitler foresaw the coming degradation of Europe's racial stock, and began to build a mighty fortress to protect his people against this future contamination. He was a bold visionary who Made Germany Great Again and gave the German people back their pride. However, he was stabbed in the back before his vision could come to fruition, and Europe has come to the brink of extinction - just as he feared it would.

The Fuhrer's Most Inspirational Quotes

	“	Retweet if u r a #Jew #jewishtwitter	„
	—November 8, 1938

	“	Fuck Bitches	„
	—MMXXXMVI

	“	You guys can lick mein Auschwitz.	„
	—2012

	“	In the life of nations, what in the last resort decides questions is a kind of Judgment Court of God... Always before god and the world the stronger has the right to carry through what he wills.	„
	—In Munich, April 1923

	“	If freedom is short of weapons, we must compensate with willpower.	„
	—In Landsberg, November 1925

	“	What matters is to emphasize the fundamental idea in my party's economic program clearly; the idea of authority. I want the authority; I want everyone to keep the property he has acquired for himself according to the principle: ‍'‍Benefit to the community precedes benefit to the individual.‍'‍ But the state should retain supervision and each property owner should consider himself appointed by the state. It is his duty not to use his property against the interests of others among his own people. This is the crucial matter. The Third Reich will always retain its right to control the owners of property.	„
	—In 1931 Sieg Heil

	“	In the course of my life I have very often been a prophet, and have usually been ridiculed for it. During the time of my struggle for power it was in the first instance only the Jewish race that received my prophecies with laughter when I said that I would one day take over the leadership of the State, and with it that of the whole nation, and that I would then among other things settle the Jewish problem. Their laughter was uproarious, but I think that for some time now they have been laughing on the other side of their face. Today I will once more be a prophet: if the international Jewish financiers in and outside Europe should succeed in plunging the nations once more into a world war, then the result will not be the Bolshevizing of the earth, and thus the victory of Jewry, but the annihilation of the Jewish race in Europe!	„
	—In 1939

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Singing Career

Young Adolf began his rise to fame and fortune touring Germany with his band the House Painters. He won a rock contest in Munich in 1923, beating out rival Gustav von Kahr's band Gas Attack in front of a live audience of 3000. It was at approximately this time that he landed a major music contract with German High Command (later Bauhaus). Hitler's singing style was described as "rollicking good fun" as the crowd pumped its arms and marched in step with the beat in swastika formation, cigarette lighters held high to illuminate the auditorium. His headline song "Imagine", later covered in a bowdlerized form by John Lennon, held an inspiring message that resonated with the German people:

Imagine there's no Russians, No blacks and Gypsies too. No left-leaning homos, And not a single Jew. Imagine all the people, Look and act the sa-a-ame.

Imagine there's no countries, Other than our Reich. No one else to vote for, Just say the Fuhrer's right. Imagine all the people, Never arguing a-ga-a-in.

You may say that I'm a dreamer, But I'm not the only one. Someday you know you'll have to join us, And the world will be as one.

Rise to Power

Adolf began his ascent to power in Germany with an ideologically sound framework:

• Anyone who expressed views contrary to those of himself and his party was invited over to Adolf's semi-detached bungalow for a lively debate over a schnapps or two. Adolf was an excellent hypnotist and utilized this skill to subtly change his adversaries' ideas and opinions.
• If that did not work, he would:
  • Kill them;
  • Eat their brains;
  • And skull-fuck their empty head.

This modus operandi was usually effective in quelling dissent.

Adolf blamed the ills of the Fatherland on the unclean Jews, amongst others. As the Jews have rarely been persecuted throughout history, this was something relatively new to them. However, Uncle Adolf was also a devout humanitarian, and tried to give them new living accommodations in special places like Dachau were they could be Jewish in safety from the racist fucks in Germany, who are still racist fucks to this day.

Adolf and his National Socialist, or Nazi, party celebrated their huge landslide win in the nation's elections with a massive street party known as Kristallnacht. Jewish shopkeepers and business owners were the main invitees. They were a little disappointed when they did not receive the beautiful crystals and jewel-encrusted dreidels as promised in the invitations, and Uncle Adolf was doubly disappointed because the crude hun bastards that made up the population of Germany smashed up a lot of Jewish shops, causing the German insurance industry to shit itself, because despite all of their flaws that Hitler ignored, the Jews had the sense to protect their jewgolds through insurance. People in Hitler's homeland of Austria LOL'd at the wascally Germans getting drunk and rioting.

After the Germans went batshit insane and began behaving badly towards their nation's bankers and shopkeepers, Uncle Adolf realized that the Germans needed to quit being lazy basement dwellers and then invited the Jews, en-masse, on an all-expenses-paid train journey to the picturesque nether regions of Germany, Poland and a few other countries to live separately. The Jews, always quick to sniff out a bargain, widely accepted this invitation and were promptly and efficiently transported to these holiday-camps. Those who showed some reluctance were gently persuaded by Hitler's assistants with reminders of how uncivilized the bulk of Germany was.

Some of the Jews complained about the converted Pullman rail coaches which were used in this relocation program, now known as The Final Solution. It was labeled "The Final Solution" as the Jews were grossly overworked in their shops and businesses. The "Solution" to this OH&S issue was to grant them the free transport and accommodation in the German countryside.

The Jews were perceived by many in Europe at that time as having questionable personal hygiene. Therefore upon arrival they were greeted humbly and courteously by their hosts. They were ushered in to large bathhouses and enjoyed a relaxing shower/bath and optional massage. Great thought went into this initial welcome at the Camps. The shortage of essential-oils in wartime presented the German hosts with a problem. How were they to set the mood without these all-important olfactory adjuncts? The Germans, never ones to let a technical challenge get in the way of progress solved this with a marvelous new synthetically-derived compound known as Zyklon-B. In another technical first, this compound was piped through to the bathhouses which cut down on waste and provided all with the same enhanced experience.

It was noticed by some of the attendants that occasionally a Jewish guest would suffer an allergic reaction to the Zyklon-B. This would involve visual and auditory hallucinations, quite often terrifyingly reminiscent of actual death. The German master chemists would hear nothing of this; they set about slightly refining the process so all their guests had an equally positive experience. They did not want to present the illusion of favoritism.

After this small hiccup the Camps were soon operating at near capacity and very efficiently, which delighted Adolf and his mates.

Now Adolf began his presidency with the best of intentions. As we know now, they went a little astray; he failed to personally supervise this most attractive R&R opportunity for his Jewish compatriots.

His trusted lieutenants and aides bungled the end stages of The Final Solution and a great many Jews regretfully did not make it to "paradise" and were deprived of that long-promised and well-earned holiday. That's what Hitler gets for letting fucking Germans do shit, as they fuck everything up.

Consequently the Jews have never forgiven Germany for their being too fucking incompetent to follow Uncle Adolf's directions.

On unrelated news, this guy is the cause of 33% of the world's problems, Jews cause 33% as well, so this guy is the solution for 33% of the worlds problems! in case you were wondering, the other 33% of the worlds problems come from spics, however word is that Arizona is working to solve them.

World War II

In 1939, Hitler told the leader of Poland to give him anal sex and to face him during rape. Poland gave Hitler the finger and told him to go fuck himself, so Hitler decided to kick Poland's ass. After a few days of fighting, Hitler realized Germany couldn't beat Poland alone, and Russia joined in, because Stalin was a useless dirty dick sniffer who didn't have the vagina to start a troll himself, but was always willing to kill his own guys and join in and try to take credit for someone else's raid.

After Poland didn't surrender, Hitler, like the god he was, went on to completely take out Denmark, Norway, the Netherlands, and Belgium all in a couple of weeks. Earlier, in free time and for fun and profit, he decided to liberate Austria and to cancel the Czechs, too. Finally, Hitler pwned France as the French just rolled over and took it in the ass. After France was subjugated, he sent Rudolf Hess to try to make peace with England. In England Hess was anally raped, causing Hitler to try to bomb England to surrender and invade Russia for the lulz, but this was unsuccessful, as the English are fucking insane and the Russians live in a freezing shithole. The irony is that Hitler could have took England, as the British Army had been raped by the Germans in France, however Hitler suffered trolls remorse and neglected to follow through.

Hitler's Final Act of Heroism

In 1944 the Allied troops invaded and pwned the Germans in France then they pressed forward toward Germany and in 1945 the Soviets surrounded Berlin and were looking to zerg rush on the Reichstag. Things were not looking good for our Hitler. Legend has it that Hitler decided that he'd rather die married than die gay, so he married his cousin (Eva Braun) and then committed suicide like the little emo bitch he was. In reality, from the declassified FBI files, Hitler escaped war-torn Germany and lived a peaceful life in the Andes mountains, Argentina. [1] [2]. It also may have helped that the Russians were about one block away from where he was hiding, and they were hankering for a Hitler lynching. Unfortunately, he escaped before they could get to him.

Eventually the monstrous Russians descended on the rest of Berlin like a big smelly wall of rape, and surprised every surviving man, woman, child, and occasional retard covered in shit within a 50 mile radius. Seriously. In retaliation for his faggotry, Stalin made Hitler's skull into a jizz bowl. This is officially recognized as the high point in German history. Hitler is now being raped by Jews in hell, as everybody knows, Jews don't die.

Graded Score

Graded Score
Kill count:	20,000,000/20
Accuracy:	20/20 German
Style:	20/20 Unforgettable
Butthurt:	20/20 Uncontrollable
Bonus:	20/20 Most famous war, most famous genocide, most famous symbol, most famous human being in history
Total Score: ∞/100 (An unsere deutsche nation. UND DAS DEUTSCHE VOLK SIEG HEIL!)

Hitler did nothing wrong See full ranking

Wanted Level:

DER TOTALE KRIEG

Heil Honey, I'm Home!

Around the year 1990 a couple of pre-internets trolls decided to create the greatest lulzfest ever seen at the time, a television show called Heil Honey, I'm Home!, which depicted the lives of Hitler and his bitch Eva in a 50's style sitcom, with the two of them living next door to a Jew family, bringing in one of the lulziest situations ever as we all know what Hitler did to those poor fags. Sadly the show was canceled after the first episode when the Jews from the BBC network realized it was about Hitler in a good way and pulled it, never to see the light of day again, a minor revenge attempt at Hitler that failed miserably due to the future power of the internet. Another reason it was canceled was because the Jews didn't understand history and didn't realize that it was somewhat fact-based, though the only things that Jews think happened were that the world was created by Cthulhu and Hitler was apparently the devil.

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Hitler and the Internet

Why Hitler is the patron saint of all internets

Recently there has been a new unprecedented Internet obsession with Hitler. In the quest for trying to be different, 90's bred bipolar forum users turn to other subcultures to try and stand out. There are many Internet identities that claim to be the new Hitler, even though Satan would never bestow such an honor on some basement dweller. Neo-Nazis have also gained Internet access and have begun trying to lure these forlorn angst-ridden teens into a world of viking metal and saluting photos of dead guys. Hitler is also one of the most talked about people on internet forums and message boards. No matter what the subject is, there is no doubt that Hitler's name will come up eventually in conversation OTI. It is also customary on the internet to post Hitler's likeness repeatedly as a sign of friendship and respect. In short, the internet <3 Hitler.

The Downfall meme

Moar info: Downfall.

Invoke Hitler and Instantly Win Any Argument

"Downfall" was a 2004 German-language movie depicting the final days of Hitler during World War II while the Russians were inflicting mass amounts of pwnage on their way to capturing Berlin. Since real internet power users don't understand German moonspeak, the climactic scene of Hitler totally losing his shizz with enemy tanks parked a mile away from his secret headquarters and no reserves left was naturally ripe for more nuanced translations. Of course most of them are crap based on sports teams nobody cares about. The best thing about the meme, of course, is triggering outraged choruses of ZOMG HITLER IS NEVAR FUNNY from the usual suspects. On April 21, 2010 Jewtube began removing all such videos [3], because they can't take the lulz. Here's how Hitler reacted to the removal [4].

Fresh Fuhrer of Bel-Air

Use scrollbar to see the full text

: IN BRAUNAU AUSTRIA BORN AND RAISED

VIENNA WAS WHERE I SPENT MOST OF MY DAYS

CHILLIN' OUT, MAXING, RELAXING ALL COOL

AND THINKING OF WAYS TO ANNIHILATE THE JEWS

WHEN A COUPLE OF KIKES

WHO WERE UP TO NO GOOD

STARTED RAISING LOANS IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD

I SET UP ONE LITTLE CAMP AND RUSSIA GOT SCARED

THEY SAID "IF YOU INVADE POLAND CAN WE AT LEAST SHARE?"

I WHISTLED FOR MY CAR AND WHEN IT CAME NEAR

THE LICENSE PLATE SAID "FUHRER" AND EVA BRAUN WAS IN THE REAR

IN GERMANY FUCKING YOUR OWN COUSIN WAS RARE

BUT I THOUGHT "NAH FORGET IT," YO HOME TO BERLIN!

I CAUGHT MILLIONS OF JEWS, ABOUT 7 OR 8

AND I YELLED TO HYMIES "YO HOLMES, SMELL YA LATER"

I SHIPPED EM TO CAMPS, WHEN THEY WERE FINALLY THERE,

I TOOK EM ALL OUT, WITH SOME GAS IN THE AIR.

Nobody knows where my Adolf has gone

Eva left the same time

Why was he holding her hand

When he's supposed to be mine

It's my Nazi party, and I'll cry if I want to

Cry if I want to, cry if I want to

You would cry too if it happened to you

Playin' my records, keep dancin' all night

Leave me alone for a while

'Till Adolf's dancin' with me

I've got no reason to smile

It's my Nazi party, and I'll cry if I want to

Cry if I want to, cry if I want to

You would cry too if it happened to you

Eva and Adolf just walked through the door

Like a queen with her king

Oh what a birthday surprise

Eva's wearin' his ring

-A Nigger

Kesha meets the Nazi Party

Use scrollbar to see the full text

: Wake up in the morning feelin' like der Fuhrer

Write Mein Kampf, tell Germany I'm gonna make race purer

Before I leave, fuck my niece. With Eva Braun, too

Cause when I leave for Mein Reich, I'm gonna kill a Jew

I'm talkin'

Takin' of all their clothes clothes

Gassin' them till they choke choke

Throwin' them in some stoves stoves

Goose steppin'

Right into all of your cities

Spreadin' the Nazi Party

Tryin' to take over your countrryyyyy

Don't stop, make em drop!

Nazi's blow your cities up!

Tonight, they gonna fight

Till you give into the Reich!

-Kesha

Hitler Fun Facts

1. Hitler served in the German army in WWI, where he got owned with mustard gas and spent months hospitalized.
2. He was a vegetarian. Not out of principles but because he had horrible IBS and gastritis and his stomach couldn't handle meat.
3. Hitler was also known for being a beast in the bedroom, as reported by his officers and generals. It was recorded he had sex with over 3,452 different women during his rule.
4. He actually wanted to become an artist.
5. He painted houses before he became emo.
6. Hitler was an asspie.
7. He was addicted to meth and had syphilis, just like every other white supremacist.
8. If Hitler had lived out his dream of becoming an artist, he would now have over 9,000 more page-views than Snapesnogger.
9. Hitler's doctor gave him medicine made from chopped cow balls and feces of Bulgarian peasants-- on a daily basis.
10. Uwe Boll is said to be part of the Adolf Hitler family tree.
11. The reason Hitler set out to exterminate the Jews is because all through his childhood, time-travelling Jews from the year 4000 kept appearing and trying to assassinate him.

Gallery

Galerie von Adolf About missing Pics

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  Hitler's inspiring message to monkeys and apes of all kinds, around the world.
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  It was known Hitler committed many atrocities "for the lulz".
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  Der furher has a sad.  :(
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  Would Hitler fucking pwn that Jew, you ask? You bet your two-inch dick he would!
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  Ernie found the thought of exterminating the Jews absolutely thrilling!!
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  The proudest day of Bert's life!
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  If anyone could ever have been said to have a muscular penis it was Adolf Hitler!
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  The Führer in private.
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  Jews take your money, even from the grave.
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  The café's kettle is on...
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  ... and that's one tea for one classy son of a bitch (white, of course).
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  Hitler on a wonderful vacation with his beloved dog, Blondie; the closest to sex he could get.
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  "What We Have, We Hold
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  Hitler reincarnated
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  Adolf Hitler was also an actor.
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  Hitler was an avid clubber and a total pimp.
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  Back in the day, Hitler was popular among the young German boys, mainly rapping about how he grew up in the rough hoods of Braunau.
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  Der Kommissar's in town
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  Jews. Jews everywhere.
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  Hitler was really a nigger
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  Hitler's arms propaganda.
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  Someone say Hitler?
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  LOL
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  Hitler's favorite game.
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  Mein Kampf? More like I'm Camp, amirite?
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  Hitler lieks Mudkipz.
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  Nazis own 4Kids that distribute Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh.
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  Even moot loves Hitler.
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  And you thought he was dead, pfft.
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• Error creating thumbnail: File missing
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  Hitler's not dead, he's a transexual!
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  Happiness from exterminating juden is a happiness like no other.
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  Stalin, you are the father.
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  Black Lotus ain't got nuthin' on this!
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  Busted!
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  Do what the big man says.
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  Here is ice-cream, 10 Rupees, you want jig-a-jig with my mother? She very nice virgin
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Hitler on JewTube

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Friendly Reminder

HEIL HITLER!!!

HEIL HITLER!!!

HEIL HITLER!!!

HEIL HITLER!!!

HEIL HITLER!!!

HEIL HITLER!!!

HEIL HITLER!!!

Soviet Perspective

The Soviet Union successfully forced the suicide of the great fascist menace Adolf Hitler after he invaded glorious Russia and dared to threaten the workers' land.

The brave soldiers of the Red Army stopped his dark forces at Kryukovo, and pushed them back all the way to Berlin! Hitler cowardly killed himself and his wife after he realized how powerful the Red Army was.

See Also

• 卐
• 50 Hitler post
• Six Degrees of Adolf Hitler
• List of video games where the final boss is Adolf Hitler or daddy issues
• Angry German Kid
• Colonel Klink
• David Icke
• DevianTart Nazis
• Downfall
• Facism
• Godwin's Law
• Hipster Hitler
• Hitlery Clinton
• Hitler: The Babe within
• Holocaust Porn
• Kitler
• Mecha-Hitler
• Nazi
• /o/
• Saving The Internet
• Tranquility Bay
• The Jewish Question
• GHWB
• W
• Internet Nazism
• Grammar Nazis
• Feminazism
• Pants nazis
• YouTube Street Team
• Patriotic Nigras

External Links

• Hitler Slash fanfiction community
• Popular Hitler fanboi site
• According to Iran, Hitler was a crypto-Jew and a pawn of the Zionist conspiracy. As if we didn't know already.
• Mein Kampf as a self-help guide.
• Hitler went to South America after the fall of Berlin according to the FBI
• Mrs Hitler's knickers fetch £3,000

	Adolf Hitler is part of a series on An Heroes
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Adolf Hitler is part of a series on The History of The Lulz

[Shut UpSing Me The Song Of My People] In Chronological Order 399BC: First recorded troll-banning 0AD: Knock knock! Who's there? It's Jesus, LOL 571: Birth of Muhahahahahammed 600: Blood orgies 1077: Invention of the meme archive 1100: DEUS VULT! 1337: Start of the Hundred Years War 1492: The Americas are culturally enriched 1573: Tycho doesn't invent the funny webcomic 1605: Guy Fawkes invents terrorism. 1789: The beret is mightier than the crown 1801: Invention of the Triforce 1850: World's first OH EXPLOITABLE image 1865: End of the Nigger Market 1877: Trolling world record broken 1888: First successful mixing of hookers and lulz 1914: World War 1 1927: Teh f1rst sk00l sh00ting 1939: World War 2 1944: The Lollercaust doesn't happen 1945: "Nag? Naga? Well... it's nagonna be there tomorrow that's fore sure." - Harry S Truman 1948: Best Korea is founded (along with Good Korea) 1955: America gets BTFO 1960: Awesomeness of swords discovered 1963: CIA did JFK 1987: First televised An Hero 1993: World Wide Web becomes available, Waco 1999: Counter Strike played IRL 2000: End of teh world due to computer errors. 2001: Bush, Saudis, and Jews do WTC 2004: ED founded 2005: Katrina and 7/7 2007: Cho Seung-Hui becomes the King of School Shooters 2011: Utoya Island Swimming School is opened 2013: ISIS founded 2015: Paris Attacks 2016: Donald Trump is elected president of the United States. (For the lulz.) 2017: Country music is back 2019: First livestreamed kebab removal

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Adolf Hitler is part of a series on Truth Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage.

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