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Manchild
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A manchild (see also basement dweller) is an adult male who refuses to accept the responsibilities of adulthood and chooses instead to live as if they were a young child, in other words you. It is also a known fact that 99.99% of manchildren are furries, and have hard-ons for Sonic the Hedgehog and colorful cartoon ponies. Naturally, this means that they are gigantic faggots, and invariably furfags.
This is always the result of a "serious mental handicap". As in, they are too fucking lazy and socially inept to get a job.
It is interesting to note that manchildren, as their name suggest, are always male and that there is no such thing as a 'womanchild'. This is because women are children. Indeed, the qualities that make manchildren so pathetic (childishness, naïveté, sexual inexperience) are generally considered positive, attractive qualities in women by men and because society considers it acceptable that women are allowed to be parasites that do nothing but laze around at home for the rest of their lives.
Etiology
Children are increasingly molded by gross societal negligence, piss poor parenting practices, regressive educational requirements inferior gene pools and overzealous marketing endeavors. Largely stemming from "Generation Barney", children of the 90s were taught early on that failure was perfectly acceptable and even rewarded for it. Starting with the "No Child Left Behind" stupidity, kids were suddenly reduced to the level of the "lowest common denominator" of the classroom, given A+'s for having an "A"ttitude that was "+" positive, it insidiously became imperative to make kids as happy as possible and with as little disappointment than it was to actually educate them in any constructive, useful manner.
Kids were taught that it is "okay" to be a basement dwelling welfare leach so long as they were happy and had a good attitude about it as it's not their fault anyway. They were taught that it was "okay" to wet the bed past the age of 5, yielding an increased demand on baby diapers that were put on the market last thursday that would have been completely shameful in decades past. Fast food happy meals were likewise super sized, not because kids were actually eating more, but simply because they kept on ordering the baby meals well into their tweens and teens.
Our society has since degenerated into a form of super acceptance, to the point where failure itself is something to be celebrated and standards of acceptable behavior have downgraded to a near infantile level. Creative new medical conditions and disorders have likewise been confabulated, permitting parents to raise "unique" little disease-bags rather than real children. Mommy's little malady, daddy's little disorder, it has become literally in vogue to have a "special" child with a "special" problem, upon which any failures or generally shitty behavior can be labeled with a convenient, all encompassing excuse.
Symptoms
The subject in question may exhibit many of these classic symptoms:
- Collecting metric tons of nostalgic toys.
- Choosing to watch cartoons and television shows from their childhood at a time when people of their age should be watching more challenging, intelligent adult programming even though there are cartoons for adults too.
- Reading comic books or tie-in novelizations of popular movie franchises aimed at children as opposed to high literature.
- Singing like a child.
- Inability or refusal to get a job.
- Asperger's syndrome.
- Virginity.
- Absence of friends that aren't on the Internet.
- Living at home despite being well into their thirties.
- Erectile Dysfunction.
- Hoarding.
- Hating everything made after the 1990s or any decade before the 1990s.
- Bruised penis head from having the toilet seat fall on it while they pee.
- Collecting VHS tapes and other shitty outdated movie formats
- Using GoAnimate
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Stages
- Fagolescence: Adults who act like teenagers
- Olchai: Adults who act like children.
- Adult babies: Adults who act like babies.
Variants
Generally there are two types of manchildren, the emotionally unstable drama whore type and the flippant, fun loving, lazy bastard type. The former make for excellent trolling due to the fact that they'll blow up over the slightest little thing, often have great difficulty controlling their emotions and are generally prone to acting out with little inhibition; most often due to lack of recognizing the potential consequences and outcomes of social situations.
More often than not they tend to float over in the aspie end of the spectrum, while the later category tend to be apathetic, carefree neurotypicals who generally don't take anything seriously...at all. Trolling or flaming that type is not recommended, they'll simply laugh it off, poke fun at you for not acting like them and due to their complete inability to take anything seriously (least of all themselves), any attempted attack or troll will fail before it has even begun.
Examples
Interest Groups and Communities
- All Liberal neckbeards.
- All Enterbots
- All VHS collectors
- All Republican politicians.
- All Bronies and Furries.
- Everyone in North Korea.
Celebrities
- Adam Sandler, the most immature actor in existence and has butt buddies like Kevin James, Rob Schneider, David Spade, and Denis Dugan.
- Amy Schumer, a painfully unfunny hambeast, SJW, pro-Hillary "comedian" whose goal is to steal jokes. She is also butt buddies with Lena Dunham, Sarah Silverman, and Leslie Jones.
- John Kricfalusi, creator of Ren and Stimpy.
- Larry the Cable Guy, an unfunny comedian catered to autistics that tries to be a redneck christian, but isn't.
- Lauren Faust, creator of My Little Pony; the merchant feminist equivalent of John K. But was it her fault for starting the brony phenomenon?
- Lena Dunham, some painfully unfunny tryhard comedian, a Pro-Hillary supporter, an SJW, a girl sucking up to Sarah Silverman, Amy Schumer, Dane Cook, and Jeff Dunham, and a child molester.
- Leslie Jones, speaking of Pro-Hilary pedophiles, the same person; but a fat black tryhard from that Fembusters film that Sony and Paul Feig pulled out of their tumblr asses. She screeched and ragequit by baleeting a shitload of racist and gorilla tweets which made 4chan in complete lulz.
- Michael Jackson, obviously.
Internet Kooks
- Anderson Lee Aldrich, an autistic 24-year-old fatass pedophile from Texas who had an article on this site since 2015 who went on a shooting spree at a gay nightclub in Colorado.
- Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto, troll shielding 39-year-old furfag from New York who is a proud owner of a massive six inch foxdick.
- Alex Mae Muholland, an autistic 23-year-old who has obsessions of fapping to middle aged man and gets easily triggered over people hating her crushes.
- Benthelooney, a 32-year-old pedophile who draws Hi-Hi Puffy AmiYumi and My Little Pony porn on deviantART. Hates everything made after the 1990s. [1]
- BrandontheMovieGuy, 27-year-old 90s kid and basically the Rabid Anti-Brony version of MrEnter and worships Matthew Davis like a god.
- Caseydecker A 38-year old manchild from Indiana who is also a pedophile.
- CamHead, a 27-year old YTP making / dog liking pedophile from California who recently got called out for making a minor bark like a dog and basically jacking off to his crime.
- Chris Chan, the infamous 42-year-old autistic lolcow from Virginia who defines the word manchild and is now a womanchild.
- Cipher - some autistic 17-year-old sick fuck from Portugal who tard rages over everything.
- Dan Lirette, 48-year-old manchild from Canada who is yet another immature, gullible, brain dead baby and devout Christian.
- Darknessthecurse, an edgelord 34-year-old Sonicfag from Pennsylvania who will assrape his fans for not listening to his advice, and claims that he was in a hospital when his JewTube was deleted... and his video game reviews are the bratty nu metal version of UrinatingTree, minus the creativity and with additional literal tryhard unfunny humor, that to this day hasn't changed since over 10 years and some change.
- Darren Pipster, a 24-year old bratty pedophile from Indiana who constantly loves grooming minors and throwing turd meltdowns. He also makes shitty grounded videos, shows, and movies.
- Diogo "Doggis" Mendes, a 18-year old Portuguese future manchild and a pervert who has sexual obsessions with preteens on Discord and some other minor chat site called BonziWORLD.
- Eric Abramov, a morbidly obese 41-year old Soviet Russian greedy merchant from New York who has converted to some typical Christian extremist reading on the bible, as well as talking about WWE; though he is known for eating a shitload of video game consoles; including the Shitcube. Also, he might actually be a more top kek version of Angry Video Game Nerd. ...or he is?
- Erik "Tazman" Mokracek, A 44-year-old manchild who is a pedophile, but claims he's neither one. He lives in New Jersey with his mother and sister, and has a fetish for animated kids, junk food, etc.
- Geoshea - a 23-year-old pedophile from Pennsylvania who drew NSFW of minors and groomed people OTI.
- HeyItsBowman, 28-year-old Pinoy-Canadian manchild who outed himself for grooming a minor back in 2018 (the victim was 15 at the time, she's 19 now).
- InSaNe-REYNARD, a 37-year-old furry bondage fetishist from California with a major case of narcissistic personality disorder.
- Jasonic, an infamous 47-year-old Sonic fetishist from Quebec, Canada who uses plush Sonic toys as fuckdolls.
- JustinRPG, 39-year-old retard from Michigan who is self-proclaimed husband of the Pokémon Reshiram
- Keegan Salisbury, a 20-year old pansexual pedo and a near-manchild from Illinois that's basically teenage Chris Chan in the making; also makes shitty YTPMV's.
- Kelly Hallissey, some middle-aged basement dweller bratty aspie cunt who got butthurt over AOL, so she ended up suing the company, resulting to quit the company and forever be unemployed, as well having stalkers.
- Kevin Havens, an inbred 47-year old retard from Virginia with an unhealthy sex doll obsession.
- LifeInATent, a 40-year-old guy from California who thumbed up for a Japanese earthquake.
- Mariotehplumber, a 36-year-old Canuckistani Sonicfag that hates modern Sonic.
- Matthew Davis, a 24-year-old manchild from Virginia who jacks off to shitty made GoAnimate videos. God knows what he's doing nowadays.
- Mar9122, a shitty azn 24-year-old Miraheze mod wannabe and manchild from Florida who is also an infamous pedophile.
- MediaFan2008, a 16-year-old Britfag who albeit is under the UK's Age of Consent, still had an obsession with child abuse and nappies.
- Meta527II, a retarded YouTuber that makes autistic meme videos, and is a big fanfag of Nintendo and Disney
- Michael Batton, a 33 year old janitor from Florida who militantly attacks anyone who pokes fun at the Superbowl, while filing fraudulent copyright claims against his critics and spreading lies about people who don't say what he wants them to say.
- MolecularMageXD, A 37-year old manchild from Michigan who is an attention whore and professional mouthbreather, volatile and handicapped, wastes his life plaguing the shitfest known as GTA Online
- MonkeyGameGuides, a 26-year old British assfuck who complains about anything that is NOT Call of Duty.
- MysteriousMrEnter, a bitchy 32-year-old moron who likes to review SpongeBob episodes.
- Onigojirakaiju, a bipolar hating faggot from Illinois who masturbates to Godzilla porn.
- PhantomStrider8, a 35-year-old huge Australian enterbot that just like MrEnter hates Teen Titans Go and 2016 Powerpuff Girls with a passion and has the same opinions as MrEnter.
- Quantum TV, a 30-something manchild from Florida, desperate for seeking attention, is known for gaslighting and lying as well as whining and overreacting to trolls. Famously said that more gay people should've died in the Pulse Nightclub shooting.
- Richard Kuta, the very definition of a manchild and also likes to wear diapers.
- Sailormoonred1, a mentally disabled man from Pennsylvania who plays with Sailor Moon and Jim Varney dolls.
- SammyClassicSonicFan, a teenage (who is now a 26-year-old) autistic screeching bratty Sonicfag from Indiana who ragequits everything and gets seriously hotheaded over trolls, critics, and haters over classic and modern Sonic.
- Sonmanic, a 43-year-old babyfur in diapers.
- Shaan Singh, a 21-year-old Pajeet Canuck who faps to lolicon.
- Sony-Mae, a 34-year-old woman from Ohio who is a rare example of a female of this species.
- Spax3, a 40-year-old Sonic-obsessed furry who likes teh lolsuits.
- Timbox, a 33-year-old lolcow from Maryland who jerks off to Asian kids. The next Chris-chan.
- The Unknown Autobot, a 41-year-old Whovian, brony and furfag from Michigan who also claims to be a trollbuster.
- Tom Preston, a lonely 43-year-old "artist" from Minnesota who's into inflation, pedo yuri and Social Justice bullshit.
- ToonEGuy, CGI-hating 36-year-old who regularly threatens Disney employees and other animators for not making cartoons like they did in the 90s.
- Valis77, a 47-year old registered sex offender that's obsessed with shitty old video games. Is also a black person.
- Willg8686, a 21-year old manchild from Georgia who makes YTP videos who literally went to town making sockpuppet accounts to bypass bans.
- 7ols, a piss bottle collecting retard from Pennsylvania who still lives with mommy and used to be a youtuber til his mom banned him from using the internet.
Gallery
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Parenting is often used as a convenient excuse to act like an overgrown toddler.
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Many manchildren don't give a fuck, making verbal attacks ill advised.
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Pokemons is srs business!
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Don't give in to peer pressure!
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Manchild warning sign.
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The manchild Adam Sandler in the movie "Billy Madison" acting like a little kid by playing with shampoo and conditioner in the bathtub.
See also
Manchild is part of a series on Aspies. | [Sperg out] |
Manchild is part of a series on Dying Alone
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