College

So, you're now 18 years and will be graduating high school soon, and are unsure what to do with your life. There's only one choice for you: COLLEGE! Yes, college. Because as everyone knows, unless you go to college you will wind up unemployed and homeless. Without college, you cannot possibly hope to accomplish anything in your life.

At least four years and hundreds of thousands of dollars wasted. No, it's not.

Colleges/Universities are famous theme parks where rich Jews, Whites, and Azns pay about $80,000-$120,000 Jewgolds in order to get that special Master's Degree or Doctor's degree so they can set out and change the world! Occasionally, one will come across a black or Mexican college student. However, these students are only attending school on athletic scholarships, and 99% of them will fail out or fail to go professional and be reduced to dealing drugs. Overly social white girls will go to college to whore themselves in an effort to try to win approval of their peers and become true beer sluts.

It should be noted that in England, the curriculum seems to take pride in forcing their students into a life dominated by the debt their tuition loans deal them in three years, which for many people just can't be shaken off, no matter how hard or how little they work. Want to be tortured mentally, physically, emotionally, and psychologically go to college? You can't get back time that is lost. College is an artificial environment that leads you to another artificial environment called Fortune 500, which means your degree only has relevance in non-meritocratic SJW-pozzed environments where you file papers and bring coffee. Imagine being dumb enough to believe that being taught by a bunch of people who never worked in the real world will make you employable. K-12 was and is spent learning how to be politically correct and how to accept having "no life" despite the fact that those that go to college are the real ones with "no life" and that the ideas of being a NEET, which you're conditioned to believe from your parents, are wrong. You are essentially being trained to steal money from your boss who wants to maximize profits.

Face it. College is really gay and faggy. You have to be maximum soy to continue school in the current year where most careers are completely accessible except for those that require in-class labs and hands-on training or connections at a very prestigious school to get a good job. In most cases, you will be attending gay networking events wondering why you're a worthless disgusting virgin that no one wants to employ. In fact, you will be even lucky to settle for a garbage barista job. You might as well be a NEET and not care about school since it is not worth it.

PROTIP: You gotta take the fucking ACT/SAT and CLEP/AP tests first.

Famous Colleges

College Activities

Here are some typical activities in which a college student might partake

Well prepared for a Powerpoint presentation.

Drinking
Drugs
Sex
Eating. A lot of eating. Most of the students eat at McDonald's, their future workplace. Large amount of them call it simply "Mac", which is actually a symptom of progressing stupidity. Later, these students use the letter "M" to forget the proper name in the end.
Paying $200 for a book that costs $15 to make, only to not read it and get 5 0 dollars back for it at the end of the semester
Masturbation
Ramen
Paying to learn things that you already knew, or didn't need to know
Wear khaki cargo shorts, corona t-shirts, and flip-flops
Discovering that the majority of your professors can't teach for shit or even communicate effectively with other people
Video games
Sleeping
Date Rape
~~Studying~~ That test is in three days, I'll be fine.
Moar sex and drugs
Skipping your morning class to finish writing a paper that's due for your afternoon class
Moar drinking
Paying an assload for room and board, only to get a room the size of a closet
Moar Ramen
Paying another assload for a meal plan, only to realize that the on-campus food sucks ass, dick, and balls (unless you go to Virginia Tech, but then it doesn't matter because you'll just be shot anyways)
Realizing the corporate world doesn't need you.
Moar procrastination
~~Studying~~ Dude, that test is still two days away, I'll be all right.
Moar drinking
Autistic Screeching
WHAT THE FUCK?! I have a test in six hours? Oh Christ, I haven't studied and I'm so hungover!
Back to edit Encyclopedia Dramatica.
Trolling or getting trolled by evangelists
Participate in big, meaningless protests and have your ass kicked by the police.
Practicing how to load and handle firearms because you figured out that college was a massive scam to get you into multiple more years of schooling that cost more money then you will ever see in your life, or make with the job at macdonalds that you will end up having whether you went to college or not

Quotes

	“	If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.	„
	—Frank Zappa

	“	I don't remember learning anything last time I went to the library. I just remember the elevator party.	„
	—Anonymous

	“	The one thing I remember about college is the number of times that my grandfather died.	„
	—Anonymous

	“	You're fucking 18, why the fuck didn't you join the army?! You don't worth being a part of your nation!	„
	—an educated person

	“	College is the best time of your life. When else are your parents going to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night?	„
	—David Wood

	“	Sending your child to college is like playing 'Russian roulette.'	„
	—Dennis Prager

	“	I wouldn't even be here if my Dad weren't paying for it.	„
	—Trust fund baby

	“	I want to be a part of the growing phenomena called globalization.	„
	—Nayely Amador - International Business Student

	“	"A staggering 83% of graduates NEVER repay their loans in full!"	„
	—According to TheGuardian.com, a trash liberal rag.

	“	Want to be a real adult, JUST WORK!!! You College Kid	„
	—An adult dissing on soymales using parents money for more school.

Previous Quote | Next Quote

College Students

Typical male student-teacher relationship.

For the most part, college is really just a place where kids want to have sex and do drugs. This is probably because they never got the chance to bomb some vagoo in high school. Many of these aforementioned college students join a college band to greater increase their chance of scoring anal penetration with their illustrious jail bait.

Typically, college students are some of the most ignorant and shallow people on the fucking planet. Despite supposedly coming to school to learn, most college students are there to get STDs and become pregnant so they can sell their syphilis infested nigger baby to the black market to pay for the 100 grand in student loans they owe because they chose to go to a private school like Harvard. Little do most students know that babies with AIDS go for just a little over 9000 on the black market, still leaving them with staggering debt only cured by becoming an hero or starting a porn site where you give blowjobs to children with Down Syndrome while you shit out your nipples, since that is basically what everyone on the interwebs wants to see.

College students possess the "unique" trait of thinking that they will be able to do something productive with their lives. However, we all know that at least 100 out of 100 college students in this country are destined to get in line to suck Ronald McDonald's epic clown cock for the rest of their lives (srsly, what else did you think you were going to do with that Bachelor's degree in philosophy?)

	“	You've got a little jizz on your mouth...uhh...uhh...theeeeere ya go	„
	—Ronald McDonald, speaking to a college student

Typical College Student

What a hawt girl looks like before college.

What girls look like after coming to college.

99% of college students will be smug, bi-curious, left-wing, vegetarian hippies who listen to shitty, pretentious, Indie bands, use Macs, do drugs, drink too much at parties in an attempt to look cool, major in philosophy, business, or German history, and have unwarranted senses of self-importance. Or they can be the dudebro brand of Republicans who have never worked a day in their life and will either be brainwashed by Marxism or get bailed out by their rich parents. The main problem with these college kids isn't just the indoctrination, but the fact that your spending 3000k-40k a year to learn what is essentially "common sense". Why do you need to pay 4k for that class that tells you Bible, Trump, and Republican Bad when no one needs to hear those things since they are "common sense" at least if your a faggy liberal.

They will often be directionless, making stupid decisions that will add up. One semester of stupid may not seem like much at first, but even that one retarded decision can snowball. There have been many cases of people going An Hero after they found out that their post grad life was not in line with reality.

The other 1% includes the makers of Google, Moot, and other makers of the internets. They also include almost all Presidents. You'll probably end working for one of these study-fetishists.

Freshman 15

The "Freshman 15" refers to the tendency of college students to put on weight in the freshman year thanks to all the free food. Lazers from unknown sources are fired at hot, nubile, bangable chicks when they enter college that turn them into massive cockmonglers of truly epic proportions at the end of the freshman year.

Types of College Departments

Liberal Arts and Social Sciences

Want to be a true creative and live out your dreams as a journalist. This is the boogeyman that most people use to attack college because they consist of some of the most degenerate types of filth to exist.

These are usually where self-centered artists jerk off and sniff their farts on how much smarter they are than those pesky right-wingers who can actually take care of themself as long as they aren't a BIZNE$$ student. You can visit the art museum everyday to see how much degeneracy the school promotes everyday.

Most of these are careers where most rich whiteys living in the west coast take in order to "reinvent" the world of art. Kids who take a career in art find that spending a fortune for a couple of classes a year is a lot better than spending a couple bucks for a few instructional books, paint, art pencils, and some sketch books to draw their great masterpieces!

A typical student studying to become an NPC.

IT'S ADULT DAYCARE BABY!!!! Pissing and moan, acting like a child, and wearing diapers are your daily activities in the future. Better yet, you can be sent to the millennial nursing home where you can live your dreams of being a kid forever. It is pretty much a meme at this point on how bad they are, you can see their smug faces promoting degenerate views all over YouTube.

Once they are done expressing themselves through college debt, they will then attempt to claim how "educated" they are so they can rub their smug liberal face on your keyboard. Most liberal art and business students want to tell others what to do and CHANGE ZE WORLD by protesting.

BIZNE$$ School

An example resume from a student from the Carlson School of Management

The standard bill for a student's first day of college. Time to put that college algebra to good use!

Stop doing Economics.

You know those ads on Television and YouTube that tell people to get their MBA. What is an MBA you ask? Only those with a special kind of mind can answer. What is business school, it is an alternative form of learning that is different from STEM that seeks to use case studies in order to help solve problems. In other words, it is basically if you attending a boring corporate board room meeting and had people pay $4,000 or more for that trash. These people are the type to ruin companies, destroy businesses, ruin the soul of the company, cause recessions, and many other heinous acts that will question whatever you want to hire them. A high schooler has more business expertise than a business major ever would dream of having.

If you go to a quality business school, however, you might have a small chance to start JEWING people. In most cases, you will get JEWED and JEWED hard because you're not going to Yale and your family is not rich. Most people with common sense even liberal arts faggots will have the brains to see that the business school is degenerate exploitative capitalist garbage designed to demoralize idiots who have never lived in the real world in hopes to bring them towards degenerate neo-marxist left-wing views.

The entire thing is an NPC factory designed to screw the customer. Oftentimes your parents who will support you, will think that it is a good degree because most bosses in the world are business faggots. You will usually find people who obsess over niggerball ad nausem. People in this field aspire to be corporate climbers which basically means that they either have terrible nonsensical goals such as wanting to be the next Wolf of Wall Street or no goals at all. This field is a classic example of unorganized beta male virgin cuck behavior. This field is for niggers, spics, and low IQ idiots. All business degrees are worthless, because what these MotherF***ers will do is stretch out common sense and make flow charts and diagrams. You can even learn such skills as how to write memos, how to use a computer, how to write a resume, how to use debts and credits, all of which have no value and can be taught by the employer. Try getting a pdf of their business communications class, you will laugh out loud. Ivy League schools do not offer a business program at the undergrad because even they know it is that bad. Even if they did, why spend 300,000k on a degree that takes little effort all for some vague Wall-Street connections when you can instead spend that money on BEING CREATIVE!!

The filtering class for business majors is Intermediate Accounting 2, which you take in your third business semester, whereas the filtering class for math and computer science students is the first class you take (Cal 1) proving that business is not about skills but cronyism and connections to groups you have no control over.

Business majors tend to be the most flooded major in all fields, because this major consists of people who want to make engineering bank without the engineering work ethic. 1 out of 5 of every college student gets into these garbage fields every year hoping to be the next Wolf of Wall-Street.

Everyone knows of course that the best way to run a business is to spend 100,000 of FAFSA money and go into crippling debt. Only the most degenerate of degenerate go here to brag about their Mercedes and their useless photography BIZNESS!!!

You can become your dream Staff Accountant for 8 dollars an hour while having the same job posts to the same no-name companies who have a flood of students wanting to intern. For those who did make it, their typical investment strategy involves crying and screaming about r/WallStreetBets and being so retarded that they cause financial recessions because DUDEBRO SIX FIGZ, SIGMA SIGMA PHI!!!

To make it clear for you unless you are in Wharton and connected,

BUSINESS = BUSINESS SERVICES = PAPER PUSHING = POVERTY

College of Science

Trust in Science!!!! Believe the Experts!!! Because Science can never be wrong. Learn about the cool properties of matter and the chemicals surrounding it. See how you can write proofs, do chemical experiments. Your teachers will likely be bitching about climate change and how WE NEED TO SAVE DA RAINFOREST!!! To be fair, most scientific discoveries are people click-baiting at your face about the latest breakthrough in science. It's all junk that for the most part has no real world use.

If you have a soybeard or Asian, then this is the field for you.

College of Engineering

The best school ever, as long as your dealing with the fact that you will always be the bitch of the HR cunt regardless of your specialty. Engineers from this school of thought tend to be anti-social and hard working. The hard work of course usually pays off.

College Professors

During your adventure in the land of higher education, you will encounter powerful being called professors. These can be friend or foe, impart great knowledge or boredom and fuck you good or fuck you up good, ad it is therefore important that you recognize the various breeds that stalk the college halls. If you look at their profile on Linkedin, you will find it very likely that none of these people have worked REAL JOBS!!! and in some schools some do not even have degrees themselves:

Good Guy Greg's uncle - This type of professor is genuinely cool to listen and his classes are more often than not interesting or at least highly bearable. They are usually either very young (them youthful idealism and the ability to remember that they were once students as well). They usually teach some "oddball" subject but can seldom be found lecturing one of the main courses. You will either breeze through their class or expend only a moderate effort for a B or A.

Stern-ish but fair - These types are the result of when GGG's uncle mentioned above gets a few years under his belt as a teacher. They aren't cunts by a long shot, but the cynicism is beginning to show. He might joke around or be a bit relaxed with you, but make no mistake, you will have to earn your grade as messing around (while not being an imbecile) will only net you a D or if you are somewhat smarter, a C+.

Punch clock prof - Years of college have sucked away most of his/her gusto and thus this type performs their duty more automatically. Good in that they are apathetic enough not to care if you do shit, but will also not care about you. If you study moderately, they are manageable and soon dealt with.

The ideologue - A fun li'l creature that you will recognize during your second or third lecture. You feel that something is off, that the guy has an agenda, and he does. Nowadays they are mostly marxists/socialists if male, or genderists/feminists/progressives if female. Be very, very careful around these types as they will bust your ass if you say or write something that conflicts with their worldview. On the upside, if you conform to their bullshit, you can get an easy grade (make sure that you don't actually start believing their crap though, it can happen)

The bastard - This shitnugget loves to make you and/or your class suffer, they will fail students left and right for shits and giggles. Mercifully rare, but once you get one, you either have to study like a maniac, wait them out (have them be your last course, at this point they might let you go) or arrange for an "accident".

The USI Assistant - Often a prof in the making, these guys can be pretentious smug bitches if male, or overzealous sargeants if female. You deal with them mostly if/when the regular prof is away. Best strategy is to just do what you need to pas - like bad cafeteria food, chew it out and forget.

The Thatcher/Dominatrix - Thes one can be a stern bitch that will fuck with you for her amusement or a stern dame from which's classes you might actually learn some shit. Oddly enough, she will often respect you as a "worthy opponent" during orals if you know your stuff and will let you pass, sometimes with a good grade too!

The Grandma - This is when a thatcher archetype or more rarely, some other female professor becomes old and enters the twilight years of her career. She will still retain some of her stern no-nonsense attitude, but will also mellow out due to being close to retirement and thus she's not much of a problem if you study moderately.

Good Guy Greg's Grandpa - One of the "good endings" leads to the GGG's uncle becoming this. He's been through the education system long enough to not give a damn, but in a good way, and has through some miracle managed to retain some goodness from his earliest days as a professor. May be eccentric and ramble about weird shit or his life experiences so there is a limited amount of what you can learn unless you ask him directly about his field of expertise. Passing his class may be easy or may require some effort, but is generally manageable.

You might have noticed how the prevailing strategy for dealing with many types here is to simply bow your head and work it off, and for a good reason. While mommy and daddy could bitch-slap your teacher in elementary, and you could theoretically beat the crap out of your high school teacher, none of those will do you any good in college but get your ass laughed off or v& to downtown.

However, if someone is being a MASSIVE dick and is downright evil, it isn't unheard of disgruntled students pwning the offending professor/s outside college in myriad ways, it rarely teaches them a lesson but is satisfying.

Things You Learn at College

A faggot professor

Any good textbook will usually contain pages and pages of pointless jargon designed to rip you off. If you fail or do not want to finish a class, blame the course for having pointless corporate hogwash. Usually homework is provided by the big JEW services Cengage, WileyPlus, and Pearson which are designed to extort money from those wanting to get an older copy to save money. You will not learn much in school, especially if you go into the field of business which is filled to the brim with the most anti-intellectual scum. Most of these lies come from the social sciences especially the voo-doo field of economics which is prone to have lairs and con artists.

Common Sense

Every single thing you learned in high school repeated.
The wealth gap between the 99% and the 1% is higher than you think.
Most jobs are barista low paying low skilled exploitative hog wash.
Global Warming will kill you.
The ills of capitalism, which is common sense to anyone who has read Marx and Engles
The rich should pay their fair share
You have privileges and you have the privilege to leave and do something better with your time.
Capitalism is bad. Only stupid people believe in propaganda from cold war.
You can get a much bigger skill set by sitting in your ass playing video games all day producing lua scripts or java mods in Garry's Mod / Minecraft. Making a project on Unity can be more productive than going to school. School really just holds you back.
Sitting on your ass doing nothing is more productive than going to school for a job field you might hate later.

Skills

How to sit on your ass all day
How to play the ass flute like Salamander Man
How to suck corporate dick
How to pay money to work for people who are like your loser parents.
How to make the school's endowment rich.
How to appease an HR lady
How to beg your parents into leaving for the skilled trades or a much higher quality institution and fail.
How to wait for someone else to change your environment for you.
How to cry like a 4 year old
How to write letters and do bogus activities
How to become a millennial

Death of "Talking"

Colleges students enjoy the thrills of the internets (read: not getting laid) and spend the majority of their time "talking" on instant messengers and "poking" people that would never EVAR sex them on Facebook. This amount of social interaction has left them with chafed and bleeding penises from fapping too much to baby rape and anthro guro. Today's college students maintain a strict code of complete silence while in class. Contribution of any kind to class discussion is taboo; it's preferable to let the silence spin out for at least five minutes rather than answer when the prof asks for the definition of "plagiarism". Once class is over and the paralyzing fear of answering a question wrong in class has safely passed, college students are free to spend their pent-up communication skills running through their dorms drunk, naked and screaming as T-Pain blares from their roommate's Mac.

The Ugly Truth About College

Check your privilege, shitlord

A self-help book for faggots. Brought to you by the Carlson School of Management.

The vast majority of four-year college graduates (except those going on to science, engineering, and law degrees, as well as those pursuing careers in hot gay sex) will earn less over their working lifetimes than someone who spent 1/4 the time and 1/4 the money getting an HVAC (Heating, Ventilation, and Air Conditioning) certificate or going to a 2 year college / trade school to learn a skilled trade. A website crafted by our good jewish friends at Payscale often shows how much you will be making per hour, ignore the salaries as they don't account for income tax and 80 hour work weeks. Most entry level jobs will likely cap you at 18-22 per hour which is not worth the student debt. That's right — the Mexican guy who fixes your A/C makes more than you, college boy, and has no student loans to pay off! LOL

Alternatives to college include community college, becoming a gay pornstar, joining the military, and trade school and they all provide a better return on investment. In fact most 2 year degrees will get you in the workforce much quicker than any 4 year degree which does nothing but put compound interest on you for a job that isn't guaranteed since connections, work experience, and skills are what wins employees over, not having a big fat participation trophy. You can also consider going into job corps if you want training and have autism. Community Colleges and Trade Schools will also accept everyone even if you haven't graduated high school yet and you may not even need your transcript even if you did finish high school. Only get a 4 year degree if you and your employer can pay for it without getting in debt. Want a high paying job with a 4 year degree? Sorry doesn't exist because that would be called ENTITLEMENT!

The tradesmen has a net worth of $122,000 dollars by the time college boy is done while the college kid (even if going for a good STEM degree) has negative net worth because he/she was not in the work force and has to pay everything back while competing with hundreds of other graduates. The body however, starts to deteriorate in your mid 30s and many of the trades involve climbing large heights and not everyone can handle hard physical labor.

Most employers also don't care that you have a degree for your first job because that first job is going to be grunt work. All the real paying jobs require a masters which means MORE LOANS!!!! An undergrad college degree is equal to a high school diploma. You will need low paying or unpaid internships, volunteer work, and a masters and/or phd to get anywhere. On top of this you have to deal with a degenerating society, finding your first job, and maybe getting a car. You can't uplift yourself out of poverty if you fart around for 4 years and if you really love science then good luck getting a science job as you get annoyed by HR, high rent, anti-white bullshit, affirmative action, and much much more. This is how it was through 2000-2019, but as of today it is even worse. You might need to inject yourself with mystery poison if you want to finish your degree.

Any time wasted on gaming, sex, girls, politics, a gay faggy cert like the CPA, will add up and you will either see yourself working a dead end job, homeless, or committing suicide at the end of the program. Humans age faster than you think. You can't sit on your ass and will need to make tough decisions and remember your parents may have bought a house, they are by no means successful. In their perceptive, they are barely able to pay their house and live paycheck to paycheck because they lack the ethic to negotiate pay with their boss and have to pay taxes or rent. In other words, everyone is a slave and their is no easy way out of the slave system and there is no easier way to make the dudebro banker parasitic scum proud than to have them collect your interest.

BUSINESS DEGREES ARE CANCER AND AIDS!!!!!

College is a debt tumor!!!!!

College Debt makes you an Indentured Servant

Business Majors are bitches

Niggers can't handle Engineering

What the Mountain Looks Like if you go!!!

College is a waste!!!

STEM or go Home

Millennials have no jobs!!!

Previous Video | Next Video

Entrepreneurs like Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg etc. did not go to college and they dropped out when they made the connections at Elite schools seeing that their education is pointless when you already have connections and products in cutting edge fields to sell. You also could make more money teaching people how to code as a business than working at a corporation at a capped salary to exploit labor for your boss.

Though if you went to college, where they teach you how to suck cocks and cherry-pick data to get the results that match your preconceived notions, you would cite the correct statistics:

In short, if you plan on going to college, don't bother. You are better off teaching yourself code, building projects on Itch.io on your own and selling softwarez.

Networking Events

These are usually pretty gay. Some of the methods used to lure college kids are there to ruin people's lives. In shit tier schools, you will be connected with companies that you can work with out of high school without the debt and interest at your neck. These events usually involve showing up to have the boomer bosses and HR cunts laugh in your face that you fell for their crap and got in debt for a mediocre job. It's even worse for undergrad business and liberal art students who have no skill because they provide no value to the company. Any degree where connections are a requirement rather than something that can add to your experience in school is a scam field and a scam beta male job.

It is a common trend among college kids to hand out a very fancy piece of paper with nothing of value written on it. No matter how nice looking their resume looks, they will not stand out because 100s of other students are more likely to get the job with the same skillset since everyone is taught the same exact material. There is nothing special about you, in fact if your in school your likely an NPC.

Forget Unpaid Interns, get tendies from Wendys instead

Another reason why we can't take most college kids seriously is the fact that they are called college kids and not college men, where as we do not call military and tradesman military kids and trades kids since the latter can be seen and taken professionally to the average eye while the other is drinking a soy latte at Starbucks.

Another way to network is to join a fraternity full of faggots and soyboys. These are usually filled with AIDs ridden normies who like K-Pop, Disney, and scream ORANGE MAN BAD. Every single person will be a normie and you will want to blow your head off at the group you are in most cases.

Degrees worth pursuing: Science, Technology, Engineering, & Mathematics

STEM is the best choice especially in quantitative heavy fields: supply and demand, signals brilliance as opposed to entitlement, and doesn't limit your possibilities of switching careers. Niggers also can't do math. The more math, the better the paycheck. However, it is a meme compared to being self-employed. Other jobs of an inferior pay:

Economics (Only if your connected / going for masters or phd / double majoring with STEM)
Medicine Do not go to a 4 year college just to go to med school unless you get a degree / skill where you know you can pay off your loans. As the rules are designed to screw you over as you can't be eligible for loans unless you can pay off your debt which means no grad school. Instead go to Europe or the military if you like medicine.
Actuarial Science (The only real business degree unlike D-tier Accounting and MIS which are essentially only good enough to pay the bills but are not actually good degrees. It is heavy in math and prepares people to become actuaries.)
Law
Nursing
Human trafficking
Human Resources The place to go to start your career in killing whitey.
Military They will pay for your education and give liberal art / biz grads a second chance as long as you're not retarded and not a lardass (but you are probably both).
Teaching Great refuge for former comm majors who want a second chance at life.

Downsides to STEM

Recently, there has been a shitty movement to shut down real education.

4chan has been recently been shouting that STEM is a meme in recent years, this is due to mainly two factors, jobs being shipped overseas, and the influx of H1B visa holders. To put this in perspective, the average small business makes 65k in revenue, this means that most businesses would not afford to have much employees. In fact most STEM jobs only have 30k-50k openings across the nation because most jobs suck. A CFO/COO and highly paid upper management make 30-45 dollars an hour according to payscale, the same amount as a senior engineer. You can make more money through porn, killing people, flipping cars, making YouTube videos, and making things with intrinsic value than anyone with a corporate suit. While STEM is still better than everything else, the common response in 4chan is that jobs are a meme.

Every other field in college is simply either common sense or crap you can learn online for free. STEM degrees also provide skills that are useful to many different fields that are interchangeable. It is far easier to switch from being an engineer to a doctor than it is being a failed finance dudebro to a tradesmen or even an engineer because most well paying jobs that aren't codemonkey require in class learning in the form of labs since they are hands on.

While in most cases, people have an unfulfilling life because they choose a crap major like anything in the business field, but the soyface curse can apply to these grads as well in respectable fields. Why? Because the college degree output doesn't match what companies around America can provide. Most companies only make 60k-100k a year which is the same amount as a full time computer scientist or tradesmen. This may look like a lot of money in first glance but, in reality these companies are broke as shit since most of these businesses are only used to replace a full time job, not to get rich because that isn't possible unless your like Elon Musk.

This is the list of things that sites like 4chan usually bitch about:

Filled with H1B Visas meaning you will have tons of competition
You will get a more comfortable job at the expense of years/hours lost working.
Your very likely just going to get a trash biz-tier cubicle job that you don't like.
You will likely end up as a teacher
You may not make it to Med School to become a doctor, if doing biology.
6 figures do not make you rich and you can't get rich from salaried jobs.
Engineering is long and hard. It will take people 5-6 years to finish. While they make good money, their salary is capped by their boss.
There is no such thing as a middle class, it is a hoax invented by the JEWS designed to create the myth of a comfortable slave.
Some STEM fields don't pay and aren't in demand as others.
STEM is slowly becoming more SJW, particularly in the sector of computer science.
Your job might get shipped overseas. Layoffs are common.
You will have to move to an urban degenerate center and pay huge amounts of rent to landlords.
Most entry level jobs even those not in STEM need 4-7 years of work experience.
You will have to deal with HR and business majors slowing down your work an micromanaging you.
You might need to join the military to pay for your degree and your phd to avoid student loans, but once you do it is worth it.
Most jobs are barista work, use google maps and you can see who is usually applying. Outside of medicine, it is hard to find jobs that aren't low paying barista work.
The purpose of a job isn't to get rich, it is to appease your corporate boss and shareholders and do things to make your boss rich.

STEM IS A MEME

Wagecucking is a meme

A degree tier list on 4chan created by the JIDF to trick anons that getting in debt to work for ZOG is worth it. Also Good tier is actually Meh/Shit Tier. Just more proof that 4chan has turned into Reddit.

These degrees are mostly worth it, but do you really want to work for the man to get a job that isn't guaranteed and needs connections. Even if you succeed there is a chance that you won't be happy. Reminder that 80% of Americans want to quit their day to day jobs, including those who are making good money. You will have skills, a job, work, and a house, but is it worth the effort. Most Americans would be unable to focus on school as well as getting a job, because you are given lots of homework. The value of STEM comes from the work ethic needed to complete said degree, but getting into a good phd program isn't always the result. Sometimes you end up in the same boat as the liberal arts faggots. It is quite often for the normie to think that they wished they majored in a business field and get to party with women and have SEX, but the reality is that society has already cast it's vote on who are the winners and losers of society just based on connections you have no control over. These degrees pay, but are memes in comparison to producing things with intrinsic value that sell. You have to be an idiot and low IQ to play the capitalist game or believe in capitalism. The real best career path is CRYPTO TRADER and NEET because all jobs are flooded and are memes. Avoid work, learn to code, read books, and strengthen yourself. If you can't leech off of anyone, you can try killing yourself or serving ZOG overseas.

In fact, if anyone ever did the math on this nobody would ever go to school, at least not business school. The answer is hands down the tradesperson. If you consider that the average college education in the US is now up to $120,000 or more. If you took that $30,000 a year and put it into investments and through the joy of compounded interest started your career at age 18 and never touched the $120,000 and never added to it, at age 68, you would have $15.36M in the bank. That comes out to over $300,000 a year. No college degree would by itself ever earn you that. You would be much better off to put that money for college into investments and never touch it and work a trade and make money to live and retire like royalty.

Engineering - Work for the JEWS making things that put people out of work while you make your boss very rich.
Engineering Management - Feel entitled to a 6 figure job that doesn't exist.
Computer Science - You get a skill you can learn for free or for a low cost and waste 4 years that can be spent working, and you work for JEWS. If you need to prove to your employer get a 2 year associate degree. Ignore college it is a waste. The most overrated degree out there. Your nothing special for being a CS major because all STEM grads know how to code. When 4chan says learn to code, what they really mean is become a NEET and release projects on Itch.io or similar for a living. You will be way more employable just working a part time gig and paying that $4000 of tuition on 400 online courses than going to college and reading in the public library than going to school. If you can't learn to code then it is better to do math instead.
Math - You love numbers eh! Well guess what numberphile? You won't be discovering anything new and you will just be a teacher until you get a masters in which you will just work for the JEWS at wall-street again.
Physics - You will work for the JEWS at wall-street. You can help get people to space, but that is rare.
Chemistry - You can either be a low paying lab rat or you can work for the JEWS.
Geology - You might think your on an adventure looking for rocks, in reality you are getting certified to grab lava and study it, but hey at least it's not an office job. YOU WORK FOR JEWS!!!
Biology - Get your dreams crushed as you see your grades plummet. You can work for Jews and teach at best.
Zoology - For the idiots who can't pass the Organic Chemistry Classes needed for the real Biology classes. And....you can work for (((THEM))).
Game Development - unless of course you want to take 30 extra classes when only 2 are related to video games, or even computers in any way. You will have to endure creative writing classes, English and grammar classes, color theory, design, art appreciation, art history, art theory, freehand drawing etc. Because a lot of the schools offering this degree want to be accredited and financially rape students with classes they don't need because colleges have learned how to convince students that if they want to be really good at something, they have to learn everything that pertains to it. If colleges could get away with it, they'd demand that programming majors be made to take electrical engineering classes....and you work for the JEWS.
Food Science - Help find new ways to ~~engineer goyslop for the masses~~ make food more healthy....and work for JEWS.
Enviromental Engineering - Hope that you can take those student loans into a fake engineering discipline so that you SAVE DA RAINFOREST!!! However, no engineering firm wants to hire environmentalists, they want engineers. It's not STEM, it's STEAM....and you work for JEWS.
Information Technology - Its Computer Science for the mentally handicapped. Not a terrible degree, but you will benefit a lot more from getting IT certs vs a full on degree and it is much cheaper...and work for JEWS.
Animal Science - Become a furry.....and yiff to JEWS.

Degrees not worth pursuing: Hobbies/Shit you could learn on your own time/Garbage Fields

NPCs Graduating at the Carlson School

The fate of someone with a fine arts degree is to e-beg on Twitter

Congratulations! You have earned a minimum wage job!

Thanks to my degree in retail management, I got my dream job working at Whole Foods!

Yes, I'm majoring in Japanese Studies. How did you know?

Only intensive study in cryptozoology will give you the skillset needed to use Photoshop to put red circles over blurry cctv footage of a true and honest Samsquanch

	“	A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B.	„

CAUTION: THESE DEGREES AND FIELDS OF STUDY ARE THAT OF PURE FAIL!!! Getting one of these is the same as not going to school at all and a waste of tax payer money.

Liberal Arts - Leads to becoming a successful full-time Reddit moderator.
French History - Being one of those poor as shit losers who study the French language when there are already a billion and a half bilingual people in Canada who will still speak it better than you after 4 yours of school because you're too poor to go to a French speaking country for immersion exercises. For that matter, any language. If you're poor and want to learn a language, join the Army and if you can get high enough scores, sign up as a linguist. Surprisingly, they are very efficient, have decent schools for it and you won't be in debt for $100,000 to evil Student Loan providers. Even better, you'll have a job with a promise of advancement instead of being that so called bilingual guy salting fries after 4 years of college.
Gender Studies - All you are doing is majoring in a field that thinks up different ways to say that it's the penis that makes a man superior to a woman and why she should be in the kitchen making sammiches. You should start practicing cold calling people for magazine subscriptions right now if you sign up for this major.
Baking and Pastry Arts- Make cakes and unleash your soyboy feminine side.
Accounting - Imagine spending money (150 units for 6 years) on one of the most dull subjects in the world for a chance to land a job as a paper pusher for a career that is losing value and is in the process of being automated with a percentage of 99.99% while also being less qualified for the same low skilled job that is done better by people in other majors or people who have worked in the field for years who have the same skill set but worked longer. 8% chance at obtaining your own CPA firm compared to 20-30% for doctors, other medical professionals, and tradesmen in less time to set up theirs. To increase your salary you will need to take the CPA exam, an exam with a 55% pass rate, compared to 98% for nursing, that has less worth than a $200 dollar community college course in a real job field in STEM and does not actually require a major in Accounting which is filled to the brim with worthless middle management. The board of directors simply doesn't pay as well as you think unless your a massive company like Disney. In addition to this, you will not actually learn accounting nor be able to do your taxes very well because the books are filled with content that feel more like a game of Fizzbin than actually learning the material which is unironically taught better at a 2 month vocational training course at an adult school. You will then ask yourself how many STEM degrees can fit into the units required for the CPA and provide much better job security, wondering why you choose this field. You'll effectively be making 18.45 an hour!!!... if you don't work 80 hours but instead work 40 you'd be making the more reasonable $36.00 a hour. If it is actually your dream to become an Accountant, then your best bet is to go for the ACCA instead so you don't say "I regret studying this". That's called getting cucked by life it means that without bothering to figure out the interest on your loans. Also Reminder, Barb Chandler and Kengle majored in Accounting and are they successful, hell no.
Fine Arts- Usually majored in by hot, rich, skinny girls from well established families who get underpaying jobs at a museum cataloguing or restoring art so they can have a job 3 days a week to get away from their kids who are being taken care of by an illegal immigrant they hired as a nanny. Unless you're rich and have a well known family name, keep out, because, even if you can get a job, it's the low pay that keeps the trash out.
Jewish Studies - The only jewish degree that doesn't end with you working for jews. You will instead work at the unemployment office hoping to get bread at the breadline.
Finance - An over-saturated field full of banker scum who all have degrees and connections. You will not be an investment banker and even if you do, it is not worth it due to the unreal long amount of hours. Banker scum are not entrepreneurs and will often have college degrees, but for the wrong reasons. The secret to both getting a good job and running a successful value is to produce a product or service with intrinsic value. You will not make any money in this field without the connections and power. The Jews in Finance also do not make as much money as you think. They are actually entitled pieces of crap who make ed edd n eddy ponzi schemes who act as privileged fucks who get bailed out and have rich parents. The most successful people in Finance are those who suck enough corporate cock banging on doors rather than their skills or traits. Some of them are also collecting your interest payments as if it is welfare. Aaron Clarey, a former jew, was once part of the financial sector and he is not successful so don't major in this trash.
Art- Popularly called the special ed classes by the dean, president or anyone of authority at a college.
- except Graphic Design. See Advertising.
Business - Also known as Business Studies or Business Administration and Management. You are not going to be God Emperor Trump, your going to be an NPC with no skills, connections, or value. You can get a concentrations in fields such as Accounting, Finance, and customer packaging which are all worthless. You simply do not go to college to learn vocational skills, go elsewhere for that. If you're lucky, you might end up giving coffee to your boss as an unpaid intern, while a much smarter person who didn't go to college is already in the work force as a middle manager at a grocery store since starting as a bag boy at 14. You do not need a college degree for any of the jobs that a business degree provides including that of upper corporate management who doesn't make as much as you think. You break into management by working for ass off in an in demand field, not by wasting your time dicking around with worthless classes. Who's smarter now? The guy who has worked at the same place for 20 some years, or you, the college graduate $125,000 in dept for that Bachelors Degree everyone convinced you would make you desirable for hire. For a Masters, add another $200,000. Usually taken by spic dudebros who love sports. Usually recommended by old farts who work on campus because most business majors work in the colleges as corrupt middleman. The most normalfag and NPC degree, you can get. This field is often mocked by successful businessmen including Elon Musk. THE FIELD IS EVEN MORE GAY THAN LIBERAL ARTS UNLESS YOUR IN THE RIGHT SCHOOL AND THAT IS AN ACCOMPLISHMENT!! Somehow this degree isn't #1 on most lists on the internet. Because that would require to look at yourself and ask yourself, am I an NPC? No liberal arts degree is pathetic enough to have you pay $4000 dollars to learn Microsoft Word. Want to be a businessman? Find a way to produce capital the fastest without losing money. It's common sense.
Communications - Spend 30k on how to talk to others. The second most popular major among spics and dudebros. One of the graduates has made a entire novel dedicated to studying the upcoming landscape of the political landscape of the future that will be caused by South Park.
Marketing - Spend 4 years of your time to learn how to get skills for a sales job. Meet up with boomer bosses and become depressed and have no skills for actual marketing jobs that are digital and one of the most common concentrations that the worst undergrad degree.
International Business - Take the worst undergrad degree and put an international spin on it.
Sports Management - After the business school realized that they couldn't scam enough people, they decided to create a major to market to their core audience, the dudebro nigger spic who loves sports.
Retail Management - Become a manager at retail without any work experience.
American Studies - If you're good at bullshitting, you can get a degree in American Studies writing about the different types of shipping that exist in fanfiction on the internet. Like a sociology degree but without the respect. Master this phrase before starting, "Would you like fries with that?"
Music - Realy worthless because all the famous musicians with degrees in music can be counted on one hand. Randy Rhodes and Steve Vai. I'm done. Usually serves as a minor for Jews and Asians with over bearing parents that demand that their kid know how to play the violin. Most people that major in music find themselves homeless and standing around a subway all day for a handfull of change each day because e-currency has done away with the need to carry money and the annoyance of the pocketful of change that came with spending real money. If their parents let them move back into the basement, they're the ones on youtube, publishing videos promising to show you how to play a popular song on guitar or piano while e-begging for money so they can finish their masterpiece.
~~Radiology~~ Radio Does anyone even listen to this thing anymore? When it's called communications, it's usually majored in by anyone on a football scholarship.
Literature - Unless you are graduating from an Ivy League school you will not find a job in this field and even then, it's a toss in the air. Hope you like obnoxious high school students because most people with this degree go back for a teaching certificate because they think they are above blue collar work.
Psychology - Want to make thousands of dollars listening to boring retards complain about their childhood? Well too bad. You need a phd or a degree in MED school to pursue this field. Then you make mad jewgold by dispensing SSRIs to every patient and other grifts associated with the pseudoscience called "psychiatry".
International Studies - Popularly called "White Guilt needs to travel to some poor ass country that has no concept of hygiene or the toilet so they can tell us how superior the savages are," by people with real majors like STEM.
Political Science - Unless the name Harvard or some other Ivy league school will be at the top of your diploma and you're capable of getting into some secret reach around society like Skull and Bones don't even attempt it. This is usually majored in by the rich, C- average, frat boy, sail boat captain bore that knows he'll have a job making $350,000 a year the second he graduates.
Philosophy - You know what a lot of the homeless have in common? They all majored in philosophy. A degree for entitled fucks who want to tell others what to do whose only achievement in life is not being a low IQ spic nigger business major who spent $30,000-250,000 dollars on what is essentially a 2 month corporate office training program and being well read.
Comparative religion/Bible Studies- It's called theology retard.
Theatre - If you like traveling from state to state earning $50 a night doing dinner theatre because you think it will lead to your big break, sign up.
Library Science - Unless you're a woman and a hot read head with big tits that wears her glasses on a chain like a medallion and fond of kilt style skirts - you have no chance.
Visual and Performing Arts
Foreign Language
Interior Design
Creative Writing - If you have enough talent, you an always rise to be that person who writes the original stories in their shopping market's daily shopper.
English - The degree of choice for retarded Anglos who want to spend $40k to prove they can speak English better than you as well as aspiring starving authors. A better use of four years would be to lurk /lit/, rail some cocaine and write a couple novels. Perhaps you could be the next Stephen King if you write enough gangbang scenes featuring kids (he really wrote one!) and other pretentious garbage. Renowned author of Richard McBeef, Cho Seung-Hui pursued a degree in English before dropping out and winning the prestigious Golden iPod award.
Social Work - Designed to put bleeding hearts into crippling debt. Work with poor people, cripples, minorities, and a combination of all three on welfare while you bust your ass trying to pay your rent. Slowly have your soul crushed as you deny benefits for octogenarian war veterans in favor of providing rapefugee pakis with free housing. You have a 5% chance of making over $50, 000 a year with a master's degree.
Japanese Studies - Take Nihongo classes with overweight and unkept dakimakura collecting weebs in the vain hope you can translate mediocre animes for Crunchyroll. Realistically, you can maybe teach English in Nihon until you kill yourself like so many Japs do from chronic overwork and depression. Alternatively, you can remove your translated copies of WataMote from your greasy fingers and get some real job skills while learning Japanese as a hobby. Spend the money you would waste on tuition to travel to Japan IRL and get your greasy gaijin chode sucked by kawaii 3d shoujo who are shunned by the austistic hikikomori young men so prevalent there.
Social Sciences - If you need to ask yourself why so many girls that majored in this become strippers and then try to rationalize it away by saying that they're working on a book when they have to lap dance someone they know - you're an idiot.
Agriculture - Usually taken up by those 4H Hill Billys that you made fun of in grade school but sucked up to in High School because they always had the best weed. Best people to make friends with in college if you're fond of Smoking Mother Earth.
Botany or Horticulture- Gay, unless you're going to use that knowledge to develop better strains of weed. You will most likely end up working at a flower shop.
Dance - You can spend $40,000 for a degree in dance to get a low paying job as a teacher. Alternatively, spend many years to get good... so you can get a low paying job as a teacher. The upside is you can hopefully impress cute latinas enough to get in their pants.
Entrepreneurship - Spend 4 years learning how 2 business by failed entrepreneurs instead of starting a business and learning by experience.
Photography - Only taken by serious students looking to use it as a skill to augment their major like Engineering or people looking to have a little fun. Most people that major in photography quickly get frustrated by their inability to get a job and either start a porn site or get arrested producing child porn.
Cultural Studies - Become a hero for the poor brown people by building one church then watch them genocide each other. Only you can make a change!!
Family Studies
Conflict Resolution - People really major in this? Usually taken by criminal justice majors that want to be a hostage negotiator for the FBI or police.
Criminal Justice - Becoming a cop with extra steps. If you're white, reasonably fit, and have no criminal record, they will hire you to kneel on nigras without a degree.
Cryptozoology - Seriously? This is a thing? If you're stupid enough to think that lensflare or a finger print on the camera's mirror is proof positive for the existence of ghosts, go ahead and waste your money retard.
Leisure Studies - A four year degree designed to get you a job at a golf course.
JuicyCampus
Equestrian Studies
Anything on MIT OpenCourseWare

SHIT TOP TEN LIST POSTED BY TOPTENZ

Cheating

Let's face it, weather you go to a prestigious temple of higher learning like Harvard, Yale, Oxford, or to some backwater dump that no one cares about, you will profit greatly from some good ol' cheating to get your worthless liberal arts / business degree where grades are curved and you can bring in notes.

Cheating methods are numerous, and with the advent of modern technology they have been made so easy that even semi-retards can finish a college with little difficulty (explains a lot, eh?). Below are some of the old and new methods.

Calculator - When it comes to math or math heavy subjects like chemistry or engineering, don't go cheap. Invest some money and buy yourself a calculator that allows you to store notes and formulas. You're only going to need it for four fucking years if you're majoring in these subjects so before you get all holy about cheating and get the retard mindset that you can do it on your own through hard work and perserverance, the next time you take a test - look to see what the class geek is using and you'll see that it's a $400 or $500 calculator that can directly connect to a computer or have Wi-fi capabilities. This is called one of the advantages of having money or being smart socially. Cheating is when you get caught palming a piece of paper or looking at someone else's test. A calculator is a tool that you're allowed to use when taking a test. If you have a decent Freshman mentor whose last brain cell wasn't wiped out from syphilis or dope, they will most likely recomend, or rather demand that you buy one with the more than logical argument, "If they're so looked down upon by the staff, then why can you buy one in the student bookstore?"

Crib notes - A classic, may come in many shapes or forms, useful when needing to memorize a list of short information (dates, formulas, names etc.). Best to be the size of your palm for easy concealment. A lot of girls do a version of this where they wear a short skirt and write notes on their thigh. Not very clever if you're a pretty decent looking or hot chick because, if the professor is male, you will sooner or later catch his attention flipping your skirt when he takes a break to eye fuck some eye candy. If it's a female professor she will know what you are doing after the first attempt and flunk you instantly so do not attempt with a female professor unless you want to be put on probation for cheating.

Transcription - Another oldie but goodie. A keen eyesight is recommended as you will probably be seated some distance apart. You can also, prior to the test, collude with whomever will sit next to you (if the seating arrangement is not dictated by the professor) so that your partner holds up a page while he ¨looks at something on the other side¨. Make sure that your partner is at least somewhat smarter than you.

Benchmarking - Write what you need on the bench you are sitting on. Can be useful in combination with crib notes but make sure that you can conceal it, or it isn't very visible. Some people use the back of the chair in front of them because most people don't naturally look there.

Pencil Case Lurking - Stuff a note or better yet, a fricking smartphone into your pencil case (it should be large and of square shape). Will work best if your bench has a little barrier sticking on the front side.

Boardaudacity - Write notes on the motherfucking board behind the professor (before the exam ofc you dumbass). He/She/It may not notice since it is somewhat common for there to be scribbling on the board. You can try and write notes in leetspeak since most old farts and middle aged twats aren't as hip and kewl as you to know what a leetspeak is, much less how to read it.

Newspapers/News site - If there is a pc on the desk, open up a news site or get some recent newspapers if the prof is old. This could make the professor sit down and read it, giving you nigh-free rein.

¨Excuse me, i have a question...¨ - If the professor is standing in an awkward spot, make up some bullshit question to ask, after answering it he/she will probably move to a different spot and you will have a new opportunity to cheat in peace.

Something is Bugging me - Simply stick an earpiece into your foul dirty earholes and have your minion(s) blabble the answers into your ears, will work marvels if used in tandem with a hidden camera so that you don't waste any time. Long hair is very helpful but don't wag your head too much. Works for oral exams too if you use a mic instead of a camera.

The Quest for Knowledge! - This is a somewhat lengthy process and a multi-generational effort that works best in the long-term. After you finish your test/exam immediately write all the questions that you can remember and ask your colleagues if you didn't get all of them. The idea is that your class material is finite and only so many meaningful questions can be asked about it, so it stands to reason that the prof will eventually exhaust all original questions and will start repeating him/herself on future tests. This is a recommended method for those classes that you know are going to be a bitch that will haunt you for years unless you study 6+12+ hours a day, or you want to fuck up college education in the long run.

Note me senpai uwu - Not technically cheating but still HIGHLY useful, you see, in college you will often have to read a shitton of books, some are a fun read and you might even learn something from them, but most of the time it will be boring crap that just doesn't interest you or is the professor's own book that he shills (i.e forces) you to buy so that he can make that sweet side dough apart form his 80-100k a year. With notes you can skip all the useless hours of reading and reclaim some of your life back for other wholesome activities.

Card marking/folding - A professor may have an oral exam and use cards with questions on them. Convince your colleagues to fold one point of a card and memorise the question, thus when you enter and the cards are shuffled, you will know beforehand which to pull. Take note that you should arrange this with only one or two other chumps as the professor will get suspicious if all of you idiots keep magically picking the same questions.

Techno-wizardry - If you are adept at haxoring you might want to penetrate the college servers and edit the offending class so that you've "passed", beware however as many professors are still technophobes who keep records of their oral exams in analogue notebooks so this is highly risky if the administration checks up with the prof personally before handing you that sweet ~~piece of toilet paper~~ diploma, so it's maybe best to go to the oral exam once and then quietly change the result and wait for the end of the semester while avoiding the professor in question. Alternatively you can try to get into the professor's own PC at home to find the tests (do this shortly before the exams begin as some professors are lazy niggers who compile an exam a week or a day before the exam).

USB Banditry - Oftentimes the exams can be found on the professor's usb that he plugs into his college PC in the classroom. If he leaves for coffee/cigarette break, make a run for it and copy everything from his usb. It is recommended that you have a patsy doing the lookout at the door, and if the room is not abandoned and your colleagues figure out what you do, promise to share the spoils (and do so) as it will placate them and also make them willing accomplices in crime so that they will keep their mouths shut either way - profit!

Essay scamming - Don't copy-paste from wikipedia you moron, transcribe it in your own words, and use the citations in the articles themselves as source (and/or google for the stuff you are writing about). If done right, the professor may well realise what you have done, but will be powerless as he won't be able to prove easily that it's a work of plagiarism, or won't care. The only time a professor has any power is when he gets 30 essays that all sound the same because everyone chose the same subject. Even if there are only 2 or 3 essays on the same subject it is important that you take enough time to ensure that your essay sounds different by reorganizing how the information is presented and rewrite it in a way that the professor will be convinced it was done by you or you will either be taking the class again or finding a new school because universities don't take plagiarism lightly. Plagiarism is hard to catch but when someone is caught, they're made a pariah. Ask Nick Simmons about it sometime before he gets all butthurt and gets you IP banned from twitter.

Expand your mind - If you can't use the myriad of cheating techniques effectively enough, you may try to instead enhance the learning process and bypass the cheating altogether with mind-enhancing substances. These are called Nootropics and are designed to stimulate the mind and bring you up to your optimal learning/studying level. They are primarily used to cram during the night before the exam as they allow you to memorise lot of information in a relatively short period.

Coffee and energy drinks can keep you awake and are "safe" if you are too much of a pussy to try better stuff. The big boys are:

Adderall - Used to tread overactive spergs, if used in normal dosage it increases wakefulness and memory absorption/retention. Beware though, as higher doses cna mess you up something fierce.

Modafinil - Increases focus, problem-solving and wakefulness with the added benefit that you don't develop addiction or withdrawal as easy.

Nicotine - Oldie but goodie that enhances motor control (faster typing and clearer writing), wakefulness, attention and short-term memory, in short - perfect for cramming. Use small dose (chewing gum and smallest size patches) for maximum effect with minimal withdrawal.

If you will use these, make sure that you ask around or google for possible side effects, and trying them out in private is also a good idea to see how they affect you. You can order them online, fake an ADHD disorder and get them prescribed or get them from your colleague (and there's almost always one who can get them to you for the right price). Be warned that using them for long times (exam period) and then stopping can and/or will get your ass and balls lower than a pair of old lady's sagging tits. Use them sparingly and strategically, for difficult subjects. One last thing, DON'T advertise yourself using them, they are difficult to discover when used unless you gobble them up like cereal, but the college faculty will bust your ass for cheating and possible substance abuse.

Derogatory Names for Jobs After College

Trollface loves Science and loves trolling people, Wojak has a 4 year degree in Biz Admin and works a shitty job. DON'T BE A WOJAK!!

Loans have interest and yet if you don't go you have no life.

These are the many job titles you will obtain after school.

aspie
beancounter
CADfag
labrat
codemonkey
mcwagie
wageslave
mccuck
nigger
spic
business major
officedrone
retard
soyboy
SIMP
sissy titty
dickface
cuckold
cockbottle
dicksauler
fudgepacker
jizzstealer
unclefucker
jizzwhore
softjew
monkeybrain
goatfucker
dirtypig
clerical bitch
officecuck
loanfucker
hippieshit
soycuck
weed eater

Jobs open to those who go to college

	“	DOORS DON'T OPEN, DOORS ONLY CLOSE	„
	—An autist banging his head on a door after wasting 4-6 years on a worthless degree

WAGIE WAGIE GET IN CAGIE

Everyone after college has to get a DEAD END job, EVERYONE. Doesn't matter if you majored in STEM or not because the employer has no evidence that you can communicate, work as a team, or even perform the task accepting the labor. You will always be broke until you put in the work hours. In most cases these college kids will suffer. The worst part is that ALL of the SJW CRAP FOLLOWS YOU AFTER SCHOOL.

If you can post DEAD MEMES, THAT'D BE GREAT

Wage cage vs NEET Logic

McDonald's
Pencil pushing
4chan mod: serious business
Packing boxes
Genocide
Go into porn
Molesting children
Fudge packing
Grave digging
Stabbing puppies
Selling Cutco Knifes and other Multi-Level Marketing Scams
Corporate SIMPing
Fantard that spends all day editing their Star Wars website about physics and George Lucas' ignorance in it bacause of their inability to get a job because everytime they go on an interview, all that the interviewer sees is an unstable spaz You're going to get so rich at a tenth of a cent for every ad click on your site, you'll be able to buy and sell all those people who refused to hire you.
charge for rule 34 requests of popular characters on Art themed sites
Do what Chris Chan does after spending 5 years on a 2 year associates degree.
Live and shit on the streets once you realized that a job isn't guaranteed.
Have your plant / firm lay-off / ship jobs overseas.
Become Karl Marx
Be a whore on OnlyFans
Screaming like an Autist
Going to a Mental Ward
Become an Ed, Edd, n Eddy style con-artist.
Cook Meth
Sell weed and drugs.
Yell about how you choose the wrong major or didn't go into the trades because you have no skills.
Bitch and moan and join occupy wall street to talk about how the banks got bailed out, yet you didn't
Get a job at a morgue as that creepy guy everyone knows is a necrophile that wheels the bodies around.
Bitch that the 15 year old who worked in mcdonalds is now a true capitalist by now while you are a virgin living with their parents.
Be like the 10 billion people with art degrees and make a youtube channel that only makes top 10 lists like Planet Dolan or Watch Mojo.

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Edumacations About missing Pics

"College really isn't necessary," as explained in this unintentionally hilarious piece. PROTIP: It was written by a high school student
Your typical proud college business school graduate.