Ship

OFFICIAL DRINK OF SHIPPERS EVERYWHERE!

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Clipped from "relationship", ship is a term commonly found in the fan fiction scene. A pairing of two often completely irrelevant characters in a romantic or sexual relationship that originated in X-Files fandom, when the fanboys and girls masturbating over Mulder^✡ and Scully, respectively, figured it would be totally hawt if Mulder and Scully knocked boots.

Most people refer to a ship by the characters in it (IE "I ship Hermione/Ron") or by the initials of the characters involved (IE "I ship HG/RW"). Many fanons have established short forms for characters other than their initials, which can also be used (IE "I ship Hr/R"). Sometimes, however, the extreme fantards will combine the two in a portmanteau-name (IE "OMG, HERMAPHRONDITE, SO0 DESU!!!11").

Regardless of the probability of two characters getting together in canon, someone already wrote a fanfic about it and posted it on FanFiction.Net. Therefore, it is impossible to come up with a ship that hasn't been invented by someone else. Google always has enough proof of it, though it is advised to stay away from the most hardcore ships if you're mundane.

All ships are invariably homosexual, no exceptions.

OTP

OTP stands for One True Pairing, a ship that its followers cannot stand to see broken. It may be a canon relationship, one that over 9000 fans have convinced themselves of being canon in the future, or one that a fan loves moar than any other.

Shipper mentality

Many people wonder why there are so many people out there concerned with which underage cartoon character fucks the other. Well, no one really ~~knows~~ cares how people turn out that way. But we do know that the typical shipper is either:

A lonely, idealistic basement-dweller or 16 year old girl who despite being rejected by every IRL person ever for being a fucktard, is convinced tw00 wuv conquers all and that no fictional character, regardless of how he/she was originally written, should die alone. This is the cause of bad fanfiction where all 5,318,008 characters ever in any series are paired up (usually after the main characters are firmly set up, villains, one-shots, and what have you are paired up for random, trifling reasons like "they're both blonde" or something. This person will, despite all efforts to do otherwise, die alone. That is, unless they don't kill themselves from the fact something bad will happen to their OTP- oh noes!
A person (usually female) who is so in luuuuuuuv with her boyfriend and has such a perfect relationship, she is convinced that everyone in her fandoms must be (or should be) in love too. This type of shipper writes pretty much the same stories as the above, but is more annoying because she'll always add "OMGZ, those two characters are JUST LIKE me and my BF!". The boyfriend, of course, will dump her ass a week later (if he's smart), or he'll die somehow, and she will either renounce shipping and become an emo with a LiveJournal full of bad poetry of how love is pointless and futile. Either that or she'll become the first type of shipper.

It's hard for characters to be shipped together. srsly.

What love is according to shippers

Two characters being nice to each other for whatever reason. (see Xiaolin Showdown.)
Two characters totally, utterly despising each other. They're just hiding their tw00 wuv. (NOTE: This is most usually used only in slash shipping) (see Steven Universe.)
One character killing another, motivated by aforesaid hatred of the other. (See GoddessMillenia.)
One character being unhealthily obsessed with another.(see Pokemon)
Two characters meeting at least once.(see RWBY)
Two characters being related by blood (see Kill la Kill.)
Two characters in the same frame. (see RWBY)
Two characters existing in the same show. (see RWBY)
Two characters existing in the same genre. (see Crossover.)
Two characters existing. Ever. (see Crossover.)

Types of Shippers

If shippers are lolcows, some fandoms are lulzy dairy farms. Like IRL cows, shippers come in many different varieties that all work together to bring us hours of entertainment.

Average Shippers

These types of fangirls will write a shitty fanfic or two, join up some ship-centric site or fan club thread and keep to themselves, but otherwise don't pick or join any fights and thus no one gives a shit about them.

/slash Shippers

Those who will pairing up any two characters as long as they both either have a penis or a vagina,(which is sometimes not needed) no matter how many times they may have fought with each other. It doesn't matter how bloody and violent their fights are or how bitterly they fight over the same guy (because twenty chicks fight over the same guy ALL THE TIME, there will be slash-y Rule 34 written about it. That thing you learned in Bible school about Jesus being betrayed by Judas is a lie--it was all because Judas was a hardcore, macho bitch that couldn't express his feelings to Jesus! Srsly!).

Popular slash fandoms with various pairings include:Final Fantasy 7 Death Note, Yu-Gi-Oh, Naruto, Lucky Star, Sailor Moon, Star Trek, which is also responsible for the very first Mary Sue (see OC Shippers below). Oh yeah, and did we mention Naruto? That show is so god damned gay that it makes Richard Simmons look like Fred Phelps. It's not only got gays, but it's also got dykes too!

See also: Snapesnogger

Str8 Shippers

Straight shippers are the antithesis of yaoi fangirls but work on the same principle. Rather than signifying someone who has a natural preference for heterosexual couples, a str8 shipper is someone who won't shut the fuck up about their preference for them, usually because they are one with the Jesus (like DBoyWheeler) or because they are asspies (like Chris-chan). Most of these people are weeaboos but their small brain prevents them from understanding that Japan is a land of sheer sick fuckery and thus anime is incompatible with monogamous premarital Christian morality. However, to be fair, most of them turn out to be pedophiles or other fetishists anyway. Or they like Twilight, which is even worse.

OC Shippers

OC shippers pair a character with one of their OCs. This takes up about 70% of the fandom, and it's usually Mary Sues or whatever. Sometimes they are self-inserts made by fangirls who want to screw a fictional character, kinda like Stephanie Meyer's bright idea called Twilight. Other times they are an actual, normal character. Some people even write to the company who produced their fandom of choice asking for their OC to be added into the universe. OC shippings that have been made canon include Mara Jade/Luke Skywalker in the Star Wars Expanded Universe, and *shudder* Antastasia Steele/Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey - which was originally a shitty Twilight fanfiction called "Master of the Universe". If these shippers' OCs are Mary Sues, they are called "sue shippers". Popular OC/Sue shippers are Kaoru Yuuka, SapphyDracases, Waluigis-girl, and Minami-Kousaka.

Militant Shipper

See Also Star Trek, Power Rangers, Soap Opera

As evidence shows, shippers are rational and logical people

They account for 42 percent of all shippers. The bigger and moar popular 'shipdoms believe that canon evidence proves they're right that anyone else thinking otherwise is clearly delusional. Therefore, they have the right...no, the obligation to enlighten the ignorant masses, even if that includes the author for not knowing the series he or she wrote anymore. They are usually the ones who'll hijack a thread like a black man will carjack you in LA and turn it into a shipping discussion. No matter if the topic is about the Death Note's many uses, whether Spike Spiegel really did die or whether Kirk could beat Picard in a fight.

Hilarity ensures when the fandom pet couple gets nuked from orbit. The most insane among them will become an heroes and quit fandom, while many more with whine and bitch and write fanfiction to "fix" where canon went wrong, until all the butthurt fans accept that as real canon. In the most epic of torpedoed coupledom, fans will be talking about their epic buttrape from the writers for the next hundred years, as many Power Rangers fans still wax poetic over the demise of Tommy/Kim. God willing, Bleach will be included in this section one day.

So who do these fans take their frustrations out on?

T3h Winnarz

The comeback kids that never thought they had a chance, and have probably been lusers their entire lives until God shed his grace upon them to pair up their OTP, they took shit from the other side's BNFs, and now it's their time to rub in all the shit that had been dished out to them over the years. One infamous example.

Of course, the rest of fandom is bored with the ship wars, and think that rooting for either side is akin to winning the Special Olympics

Best example evar: Harry Potter and Author-Issued Clue-By-Four
See also: Avatar the Last Airbender

Intellectual Shippers

Appearing on the surface to be less rabid and having a better grasp of grammar than 99% of it's fandom, most know they are smarter than the average bear and instead prefer big words and long sentences to make a point. When someone calls them out on it, drama occurs and gets posted at Fandom Wank, because after all, trolls don't exist for their pet pairing, and besides, they'd use nasty words and flame people directly. They and the militant types usually get together to engage in a huge circle jerk, and cause nearly all of fandom's ship wars.

As many such people are considered to be ZOMG SO SMART to 16 year old girls, they are usually the fandom's BNFs who lead by example to write much fanfiction that bashes the ship opposing theirs and in some cases, essays. That's right, long, boring write ups analyzing proof of their couple's existence. and ALL of them are over 9000 pages long. OH GOD MAKE IT STOP, PLEASE.

This kind of shipper's most common habitats include Star Trek and Bleach.

Nanny Shippers

The killer of lulz, they are ones who are always trying to make everyone get along and be tolerant and open minded of other opinions. They always tell their own side to be better than the other side and not troll and are usually sincere in their efforts to get their friends to quiet down a little bit. Since fighting over the honor of two cartoon characters' love is is srs bsns, no one really listens to them.

Not to be confused with the intellectual shipper, who pull this maneuver as one of their sneaky trolls, then go back to passive-aggressive trolling in the next thread.

Not a Shipper

Surprisingly, there are people in fandom that don't give a shit about who's pee-pee ends up in whose vajayjay or ass. And they proceed to tell everyone this at every opportunity because they really *don't* care. Really, they don't. That's why their biggest contributions to fandom include bitching about other shippers and the stupid fan-squee posts they see on the shipper comm(s) on their F-list and maybe once every hundred years, they'll post about something besides little 16 year old girl fan drama. They are as not shippy as Micheal Jackson is Not a Pedophile.

Sane Shippers

See Also: Unicorn, Santa Claus

One who not only ships, but actually gives a fuck about other things in their fandom besides fapping off to hawt fanficz. A step up from the average shipper, they are not quite so loyal or opinionated on their couple to become BNFs, nor do they constantly bitch on other fans. If you see such a shipper, most likely they are a dual of a former fan who have learned the errors of their ways in attacking their fellow fans or new to the internets, in which case, they are ticking timebombs to Nutville.

Steps to a Ship War

Will someone please think of the children?!

Prima the Militant Shipper posts a discussion on the latest episode of her favorite series, with at most a sentence or two on her OTP, A/B.
Secunda the Intellectual shipper discusses the chapter with thoughts of the less popular A/C, and a jab at A/B for the lulz.
Debate goes on as planned until...
Average Shipper Tercera drop the drama bomb with spoilers!!!11!one Apparently, their father's uncle's nephew's cousin's former roommate heard that the writers have planned a cancer to kill B in the season finale, and boy that really sucks that A/B won't become canon before then.
Prima instantly becomes hysterical and just can't believe it, and asks for proof, which comes from a few reliable sources
Secunda posts even more thoughts on A/C, and how she wonders if A will go to C after B's death for comfort.
Prima takes this as a personal insult, and Cuatra and Quinta comes along to agree, all echoing their hive queen's thoughts.
Secunda is a seasoned expert at milking these lolcows and knows she can make them look more stupid by using big words to hide her insults.
Sexta, having been oppressed by Prima, Quatra and Quinta since the beginning of t3h fandom proceeds to act like a winnar and posting JPEGS of "A/B RIP" tombstones to piss them off, because those bitches had it coming for telling her A/C was only shipped by delusional whackjobs!
Septima (who falls under both the Yaoi and Nanny type)comes along to say "Who cares about A/B OR A/C when we can all oogle B/C?" No one gives a fuck.
Maria the OC Shipper talks about her OC and how she ships A with her character.
Octavia the mod threatens b&s to people if they don't quit adding AIDS to the pool.
Prima then starts bashing everyone from Character C to the writers and director for this moral outrage and how she will get all her friends to petition this show and get it canceled for this
Secunda makes more snide remarks, which Prima rises up to.
Reluctantly, Septima throws the banhammer at both Prima and Secunda, who then head off to their respective shipper comm to rally the troops; Prima to come up with ways to deny this ever happened, and Secunda to rally the troops for a great victory party.
Novena the Not!Shipper reads the thread and yells "THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!"
Quarta, Quinta, Sexta and over 9000 other fantards all continue the fight for great justice
Decima the Sane Shipper is laughing her ass off as she writes an account of this for Fandom Wank's 4234533453rd article on Fandom X's shipper fight
Maria writes a letter to the company who made the show about her OC.

List of Shippers

Shippers Say The Darnedest Things

"So a couple weeks ago, I was insanely bored and was poking around YouTube and I somehow stumbled onto someone who had posted the entire first and second seasons of Digimon (bless them)...

..And then...I get to the Christmas episode in season 2. When Tai asks Sora out and she rejects him because of Matt. And then she goes and marries Matt in the end. And I'm sitting there staring at my computer screen, gaping and trying so hard not to scream. Because it's Tai. And it's Sora. And its supposed to be Tai and Sora because in the first episode he said that Sora wasn't that bad "for a girl" and Tai was the one who went back and saved Sora when she got captured by that little computer chip Digimon in the pyramid and Sora was the one who's always going "stupid Tai" and fighting with him and um, hello, in the movie it was who Tai wrote that email to Sora and freaked out because he signed in "love" and that was so cute and oh my goodness she is not supposed to be with Matt." --Random Digimon fan

"I hope that all the Tommy and Kat fans will realize that Tommy didn't LOVE Kat the way he LOVED Kimberly!" -Slogan of every Power Rangers fan ever

"I'm both an IchiRuki and IchiHime shipper."

"I’m so upset right now, I just deleted everything Narusaku related in my computer, I tore up all my narusaku drawings that were hanging on my wall for years now, I threw away all my naruto manga & DVD collection into the garbage, I ripped apart all my posters…I literally wanted to burn everything instead but I live in apartments so I obviously can’t start a fire. I’m not bashing or anything I just feel like all of this was pointless… completely pointless. I wasted so much money…so much time… I can never get back…"

Add pixplzkthnx to Ship

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Gallery of Love

DO IT FAGGOT
NO U
Hilarity will ensure with Bleach fans if this couple actually becomes canon
Mein eyes, zey burn

Ship

Contents

OTP

Shipper mentality