- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
My Little Pony
My Little Pony is a series of Animu and toys meant for little girls about horses expressing the wonders of friendship and togetherness. Somehow this fad found its way to the internet, creating closet butthurt everywhere. MLP fans ("Bronies") are unable to resist the riveting and complex plot pony ass, which is only made worse by their need to advertise their affinity for this show. Unable to contain their love for polychrome equines, they post pictures and threads continuously, cluttering /co/ and adding cancer to /b/. Substituting hours of watching a bunch of unicorns for doing anything productive, they find themselves defending their love for this show to the rest of society. MLP fags tend to use the term "Do what you feels good" to recruit innocent people to their sick gay faggotry.
My Little Pony is slowly infecting the entire internets. Bronies are now bashing and ruining every meme and game that comes to exist as we speak.
Previous Video | Next Video
Concept
In 2010 Lauren Faust revived the cartoon series, now known as My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Ponies live in Equestria, a magical land of friendship and female dominated society ruled by the Princess Celestia. Equitable to tribal lore and mythology, the Princess is a god among mortals, responsible for raising the sun at dawn with her younger sister raising the moon. However, the Princess takes up an active role in the lives of ponies and demands tribute and glorification in the eyes of her subjects. It's not clear why the praise is deserved, or why manual rotation of the sun and moon is necessary at all, but what is obvious is the emphasis on unconditional praise of a strong, independent female role model. The episodes air on early Friday afternoons, on a channel nobody has, when the intended audience is at school. The episode "plots" revolve around 6 main character ponies, and the lessons they learn about friendship.
Races
The society of Equestria is an implicit caste system governed by an imperial monarchy; while some ponies were born into modern roles and abilities, the usability of others is limited to hard labor and servants' work. The other races have no involvement whatsoever in the exaltation of the Princess, despite her endeavors having a direct impact on their lives. Their fate most likely rests in Pony Hell.
- Alicorns: A combination of unicorn and pegasus. The extent of their abilities is unclear from the show, other than the power to move the heavenly bodies of the stars.
- Unicorns: Ponies with a horn on their head, the source of their magical powers. The practical applications of their abilities differ from pony to pony, but why they don't just use it to make themselves fly is simply beyond the greatest pony philosopher (and the writers of the show).
- Pegasi: Their wings and ability to fly are merely a cipher, as illustrated in episode 13 - their physical strength is equal to that of a normal pony, so to have the strength to lift their body weight into the air their bones would need to be hollow, similar to birds.
- Earth Ponies: The lowest tier in the Pony hierarchy. Though their professions in the show are little more than manual labor and merchants, the unicorns have proven to exceed their efficiency in all fields tenfold. Their feigned necessity is most likely a huge plot hole.
- Zebras: Outcasts in the Pony society, thus seek refuge deep in the forests. Only there can they practice tribal medicine and worship idols from their homeland.
- Griffins: Not much is know about this race, other than they can fly (just like every other character on the show). The only Griffin known, Gilda, is a total bitch.
- Cows: Fatasses that attempt to overrun cities in large numbers and are corralled and thrown out by rednecks.
- Buffalo: Big, heavy Native Americans in the shape of cattle. They hate cowboys and trees, and are all male, except for the one loli.
Characters
Note the lack of significant male characters; this is proof that Lauren Faust is a closet feminazi. When any male ponies are shown, they rarely speak and, if they do, will say something submissive or generally stupid to the strong female characters. This will inevitably lead the thirteen-year-old girls who watch this show to develop unwarranted self importance. Also of note is that many of the male ponies are shown doing menial physical labor such as pulling carriages, plowing fields or taking notes. It is clear that Equestria is a BDSM Pony heaven, as the men who live there obviously love having their dicks stepped on in high heel horseshoes by their female mistress overlords.
—Faust admitting the truth |
Mane 6
- Twilight Sparkle - The main character. A bookish, nerdy, typical, boring-as-fuck
unicornMary Sue whose job is to report her findings on friendship. No surprise that Twilight is intertwined with this faggotry, is it? Then Twilight Sparkle evolved into a alicorn princess at the end of season 3. The butthurt this generated amongst the ponyfags was glorious. - Fluttershy - Admittedly, THE ONLY REASON WHY PEOPLE WATCH THIS SHIT. She is practically the pony version of the Japanese Moe stereotype in Animu. She is a crybaby who is completely humble, selfless, cowardly, dependent, messianic to the point of sacrificing herself for others, and most suitable for being tortured in many other ways than possible, and crying cutely while at it. Like a typical Disney Princess, she watches over her furry friends. She's the most fapped of the ponies due to her submissive personality, and the most fapped in humanized versions due to her massive tits.
- Rainbow Dash - A feminist, overly competitive and lesbian pegasus. As if the rainbow mane wasn't enough evidence for her homosexuality, she's shipped with every character in the show.
- Pinkie Pie - A hyperactive party animal whose parents died or something so she lives with her Aunt and Uncle, who own a bakery. She went emo and crazy in one episode after her friends refused to go to one of her retarded parties. She also has an interest in murder, surgery w/o anaesthesia, experimentation and other kinds of crime (e.g. Cupcakes)
- Rarity - Ironically, despite holding the title of "Element of Generosity," she is the greediest character in the entire series. Even her Cutie Mark of gems in her flank was made when she found a shitload of diamonds.
- Applejack - Lives on an apple farm with her family, which is in the business of apples and apple accessories. How they can cook without hands has yet to be explained.
Princesses
- Princess Celestia - The de facto ruler of Equestria, but mostly uses her powers for pranks and molestation.Originally meant to be Queen Celestia, but the executives at Hasbro changed it, since Disney tells little girls that Princess = Good and Queen = Bad.
- Princess Luna - Who lives in the Moon. As a result, she is hopelessly naive to the affairs of the modern times. Also one of the reasons besides Fluttershy on why people watch this shit/
- Princess Cadence - The princess of love and buttsex. Married to Shining Armor who is actually Twilight's big brother.
- Princess Twilight Sparkle - See Twilight Sparkle above under Mane 6.
Minor Characters
- The Cutie Mark Crusaders - A trio of underage ponies yet to get their cutie marks. Pedo-bronies fap to them because it's their only alternative for safe underage porn. The group consists of Apple Bloom the ginger (Applejack's sister), Sweetie Belle the useless airhead (Rarity's sister), and Scootaloo the tomboy (Rainbow Dash's fangirl). The current new member is Apple Bloom's inbred cousin Babs Seed.
- Big McIntosh - The only notable male pony in the entire series, Applejack's older brother. His entire dialogue consists of Yup and Nope, and is your basic redneck.
- Spike - A male baby dragon who is Twilight's assistant. Wants to fuck Rarity, because baby dragons wanting to fuck full-grown midget horses totally doesn't involve pedophilia or other forms of sick fuckery.
- Zecora - A zebra that turns out to be a nigger living in a hut full of voodoo shit like most black stereotypes do.
- Discord - Possibly the only good character in the show: A draconequus voiced by Q from Star Trek that Celestia turned to a statue as a punishment for creating chaos, but was somehow brought back to life due to an argument between the Cutie Mark Crusaders. He used his 1337 psychology skills to convert Applejack into a liar, Pinkie Pie into a hater, Rarity into a jew (as she always was), and Rainbow Dash into a traitor, thus making Twilight Sparkle emo. However, he could not use his 1337 psychology skils to make Fluttershy a bitch, and therefore, he was forced to directly Mind-Control her. But said changes were reverted and he was turned back into a statue after the main characters shot their laser at him...as he just stood there. Sooner, Discord was freed, but he fell in love with Fluttershy. And now Discord went from villain to troll and now fulfills the role of Q from Star Trek in the MLP:FiM universe.
Villains
- Nightmare Moon - The opposite of Princess Luna.
- Trixie Lulamoon, AKA "The Great and Powerful Trixie" - Sethisto's waifu and Twilight Sparkle's rival & archenemy. Notably the only pony possessing a bigger ego than Rainbow Dash, but more villainy. Obsessed with being a showoff with her common unicorn magic and plotting her revenge on beating Twilight Sparkle.
- Diamond Tiara & Silver Spoon - Two snobbish rich cunts. Always talks shit to the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
- Gilda - A lesbian gryphon with a very bitchy attitude. She used to be Rainbow Dash's girlfriend before she became one with the Mane 6.
- Diamond Dogs - A group of diamond rapist dogs living in the underground like niggers in the hood.
- Discord - See Discord above under Minor Characters.
- Flim Flam Brothers - Twin gay lovers and brothers. All they do is scam ponies with crap that never works.
- Queen Chrysalis - Some kind of bug pony with rape holes all over her. She was a fake Cadance in the beginning of season 2 and she controls the swarm of bug ponies. Now what does that remind you of?
- King Sombra - Some evil jew-king trying to take over the crystal palace. Nothing new.
- Lightning Dust - Rainbow Dash's rival. She's pretty much a bitch who will hurt her girlfriends during a race.
- Sunset Shimmer - Celestia's ex-student and the main villain in the first Equestria Girls movie. She has the power to become a succubus. In the end, they pulled off a Nightmare Moon by learning about the power of friendship and lesbianship, and becomes one with the main protagonists in later movies and clips after the first one.
- Suri Polomare - Just another rich snob bitch that Rarity encountered.
- Nightmare Rarity - Only in the comics series. It's just Nightmare Moon possessed Rarity.
- Tirek - The reboot of a G1 My Little Pony villain in the end of season 4. An old centaur that devours the souls of ponies like he's freakin' Shang Tsung in order to grow stronger to regain his real form. Responsible for destroying Twilight Sparkle's home with a shoop da whoop and replace it with her own kingdom in the end.
- Adagio Dazzle - Leader of her band and the main villain in the second Equestria Girls movie Rainbow Rocks. A second movie? Seriously? And together with her lesbian bandmates Aria Sorrow & Sonata Dusk, they are known as The Dazzlings who are apparently Sirens or some shit.
Derpy Hooves
- Derpy Hooves - Born and raised by Dr. Foreigner from 4chan's /co/. A retarded pegasus, dubbed the mailmare by Bronies. Likes muffins. The story behind this character is as follows: /b/roniefags said that in the first episode, on the background (of Twilight Sparkle's party) there was a pony with crossed eyes. The /b/ronies decided to name her Derpy Hooves and, the creator of the show, being a 4chan lurker herself, saw this and decided to just go with it. And so, the first daughter of 4chan was born.
The cancer that killed 4chan in January 2011
For some reason, /co/ quickly latched on to the show, creating thread after thread of fanart and fanfiction, to the dismay of everyone else. A few weeks later, this cancer has found its way to /b/. The pony faggotry was started when the five original bronies (Fluttershy, age 16, Applejack, age 22, Pinkiepie, age 20, Rainbowdash, age 23, and Big Mcln, age 14) had a private conversation, and decided to post a pony thread on /b/, as a raid from /co/. Big Mcln posted all of this evidence on May 17th. He also said that he thought that "Shit's gone WAAY to far". All of this info can be seen in the screen-cap to the right. Known as bronies, these grown men like to post pictures of neon colored ponies and gush about their favorite characters and episodes. Focusing more on the show itself than its intended audience, these threads are always full of fail. Some argue that these threads are just an elaborate way to piss off half of /b/, while others are sure that these threads are created for non-ironic reasons. Either way, as of February 2011, there can be at least one of these threads found on the front page at any time, with a group of bronies wanting to be the little girl. As the threads quickly reach their image limit and get reposted, it may appear that the pony threads are popular on /b/ and have a large following. This is not the case, in reality it is the same group of tripfags and a few Anonymous posters keeping solely in their own pony threads. While normal people on /b/ have multiple threads open that they actively lurk or post in, this group of MLP fans dedicate all their time and posts to the "official" MLP thread. In conjunction with the idiot chemo bombers (see below), these threads are guaranteed to stay on page 0 most of the time.In response, other /b/tards spam these threads with endless gore and CP.
Every time you make a thread against the ponies the 4chan mods ban you for 7 days. Why? Maybe a inside conspiracy to kill 4chan or simply the most retarded moderating that has now killed 4chan. Some believe pony threads are a large source of original content, while in reality most of it is old recycled /b/ memes with screencaps from the show that don't really fit.
The chemo that cured 4chan in February 2011
On February 26th, it had become apparent the mods were tired of putting up with the pony bullshit. Within a minute, every pro-pony post on the current "Official MLP thread" had been publicly banned. Epic butthurt soon followed from the ponyfags who escaped the first roundup, as well as proxied ponyfags and trolls trying to piss off mods. A wordfilter was put in place than autobanned anyone who posts the word "pony". As /b/ was in a shitstorm about the event, this caused half of all the posters without proxies on /b/ to be banned for the rest of the day. Predictably, all the banned ponyfags came back the next day and continued their posting like nothing had happened. The Mods lol'd at their stupidity, and waited for more pony threads to be posted, then banned every poster for 2 weeks. Their actions were completely justified.
The chemo that cured 4chan in June 2011
Pictured right, Advice Dog returns to save all of 4chan from the ponies and their faggotry. Many breathed a sigh of relief to see an end to the constant bullshit that was arguably the most cancerous thing that had ever happened to /b/, which was like puking on a pile of shit, and the /b/tards were overjoyed to have their pukeless shit back. Needless to say, a shitstorm and much butthurt followed from newfags and ponyfags. Seeing as how this event is very recent, the long-term effects of this event can only be speculated upon.
More lulz will be added as the story further unfolds throughout the interwebz.
The chemo that cured 4chan in October 2011
On October 22, 2011, a sticky on /b/ was posted by moot, declaring trips to be taken away and ponies to be told to GTFO. This only provoked more pony faggotry, as the ponies flocked to the single thread to bitch. A ray of light shined upon /b/ however, as every ponyfag that posted in the thread was promptly executed by the glorious hammer. This incited much butthurt through the bronies, who proceeded to whine even more. The thread was then spammed with faggotry from the Wastelander, Alice, and ponies who figured out that they can dodge bans by resetting their IP Namefags are banned now too, so good luck with that. Moot had to eventually lock the thread before the cancer ruined his precious thread.
Some argue that OP was not really moot, but a butthurt staff member. These people are the ones who post all this pony shit and should die in a fire.
Furaffinity Brony Banner
On 9/17/2011, the banner on Furaffinity.net was changed. This caused huge butthurt from bronies and furries around the world. The bronies were mad because they thought the banner was saying that all bronies are accully furries, and the furries were mad because they thought the banner was saying all furries are bronies. This caused extreme burrhurt and many people to claim that they were leaving the site forever, only to come back in 3 days due to not getting enough fap material.
Ponies threaten to raid, and the tripfags are cast out
Another sticky was made based on an original post found on ponychan, where a faggot tried to get ponies to DDoS 4chan. This led to ANOTHER thread full of ponies that started to bitch. However, the rest of /b/ took advantage of the lack of unique tripcodes, and proceeded to troll the living fuck out of anyone who even so much as expressed any sort of faggotry, not just restricted to ponies. In a giant spout of cancer and AIDS, the tripfags were ridiculed and were spammed with horse porn, leaving them little choice but to leave the board.
But it seems the cancer refuses to leave, as the /b/tards started spouting shit along the lines of GETs, where they kept having orgasms over every double or triple they attained. The whole point was probably the irony that tripcodes and triple digits are both shortened to just trips, and thus newfags attempted to get trips. This finally led to the sticky being deleted, as that kind of faggotry would probably explode and destroy /b/.
Brony Dialect
This page provides only basic information on these creatures. To help one invent ways of trolling, inciting drama, and sparking flamewars, it would be wise to mingle within their communities to study them. Like many unusual animals on the internet, Bronies have developed their own form of communication amongst their kind. To help scientists in the field, learning the language of the Bronies can improve their chances of blending in to collect data. The following is a list of recorded and translated calls.
- Brony - Male
- Filly, Pegasister, Sismare - Female
- Filly-fooler - Lesbian
- Colt-cuddler - Gay aka Everyone who watches the show
- Saddlesore - Butthurt
- Sugarcube - A purr used to show affection toward a herdmember. Based on phrase by Applejack.
- Parasprite - A screech used to alert the herd of nearby Trolls. Based on a monster from the show.
- Clop - Masturbate
- Brohoof - Fistbump
- Newfriend - Ponyfags find the word "newfag" too offensive to use so they call them friends instead.
- Facehoof - Facepalm
- DO IT FILLY/BRONY - DO IT FAGGOT. Bronies find the word faggot too offensive so they use filly/brony instead.
Typical neighings of bronies
- Anyone have Hub channel? When will the episode be uploaded?
- OMG I CUT SCHOOL WORK TO WATCH MLP WHERE ARE THE STREAMS.
- Your favorite pony is X? That's not how you spell Y.
- X is best pony.
- DUDE, just give the show a chance? You might like it!
- WELCOME TO THE HERD.
- Various fapfiction and self-insert clop.
- I swear, I'm not a furry.
Tiers of Bronyism
- Tier 1 - People who just like watching the show. Mostly accepted as normal people.
- Tier 2 - People who brag about the show almost everyday. Rarely seen as normal.
- Tier 3 - People who spam their own youtube and facebook pages with the show's faggottry. Increasing the chance of permanent virginity by 75%.
- Tier 4 - People who bash old/good/forced memes with ponies on irrelevant 4chan boards supposedly making them 20% cooler and make fan fictions that aren't shock related.
- Tier 5 - People who collect pony plastic crap and fursuits, fap over rule 34'd ponies and go to brony gatherings. This confirms 4 things: 1. They have 100% aspergers syndrome/autism. 2. They have a 0% chance of getting laid. 3. They will die alone. 4. They are officially more gay than furfags.
Trolling bronies
Just like anything else, bronies can be trolled. In late February 2011 anti-pony threads popped up here and there. The best way of going about trolling bronies it is to copy the Pony thread, modify it to your personal tastes and redirect the pony thread to your thread. Anti-pony and pony corpse threads have been appearing, along with puddi threads. The anti-pony threads are joining forces with the puddi's in attempts to troll the bronies by spamming "PUDDIPUDDI", horse corpses and big black dicks.
Inexplicably, the Puddi's have taken arms against the bronies. The conflict was settled first with Derpy Hooves becoming a meme. But Bronies still continued cluttering /b/ with fake talk about "friendship" and "love", trying to recruit newfags. They also provided contend most anon lurkers didn't like, so instead of letting them die, they got spammed by several anon groups to stop, further bumping the thread and being filtered anyway. All utterly failed. The Ponies failed, people not wanting the ponies failed, even arguing failed. Though most bronies can easily be trolled, there are still those who refuse to give up, and continue to try displaying their false hopes of 'friendship' and 'love'. The fact that they go on /b/ at all means they can be trolled just like everyone else, it just hasn't been discovered how yet (most likely when their shitty show ends they will simply give up).
- Link them to an episode of an older MLP generation, preferably generation 3.5 for best results
- Spam their threads with G1 My Little Pony pictures
- Tell them how the show is shit and how they are too old to be watching this shit
- Refer to Twilight Sparkle, the show's main character, as 'Twilight Sprinkle'
- Redirect them to porn of the show's main characters
- Tell them that you have a great Brony forum site and give them this link: www.ponyboards/welcome.on.nimp.org
- Threaten to round up all the ponies in Equestria and to send them to the glue factory
- Tell the ones that draw porn and write sex stories that all of the show's characters are under aged, that they are sick fucks, and that you have reported them to the FBI for creating and promoting child pornography (and sometimes beastiality).
- Pretend to agree with their points about how the show's characters are deep but deliberately misunderstand them badly until they get angry at you. Proceed to usual trolling procedures.
- If they say Rainbow Dash is straight, call her a lesbian and defend this point firmly
- If they say Rainbow Dash is a lesbian, call her straight and defend this point firmly
- If they say Rainbow Dash is bisexual, call her a slut and defend this point firmly
- If they say Rainbow Dash's sexual preference is irrelevant because the show is for little kids, call them manchildren and defend this point firmly
- Tell them Rarity is the best character in the show
- Write or link them to gory fanfics (ex: Cupcakes)
- Point out their fandom's hypocrisy: Bronies say that they love and tolerate everything but always bitch about most of the show's ship-fics and ship-art
- Mention their show is for 5 year old girls
Something Awful gets infected
Eventually the goons got in on the worship of the overrated, pastel colored crap too, and had a pretty strong thread going in The TV IV subforum, resulting in multiple converts to the cult of the Bronies, making it impossible to visit any thread anywhere on the forums without seeing at least 100 MLP related avatars. Predictably this quickly caused a huge backlash, as the non-Bronies goons got sick of that shit, and trolled the TV IV thread multiple times in an effort to make the degenerates GTFO.
Eventually the mods had enough, and the TV IV thread was closed and gassed, and starting a new My Little Pony thread anywhere on SA became punishable by instaban. Sad that they could not longer have a serious discussion about cartoons for little girls with other grown men, the Bronie goons created their own little gay club in response.
Furfags or Hipsters?
It's hard to say what exactly the brony fag menace is. Are they a bunch of furfags or hipster fags? Well they are both! My Little Pony is a show about pink girly animals, this gives the furfag community a boner. Now as for why hipsters love this show it's clearly obvious. Hipsters hate what adults like however, adults do not fully understand this brony thing and they don't understand why grown males would watch a show for little girls. Thus making My Little Pony perfect hipster bait.
Ponychan
Because they needed somewhere to post ponies without getting banned.
Boards include:
- /meta/- Stuff like "X IS NOT WORKING!", "FIX Y PLEASE!" and a place to complain about your ban.
- /arch/- A collection of what they consider to be the "best" threads.
- /pony/- Discussion of the show and each episode.
- /pic/- "HEY GUYS MY [insert pony here] FOLDER IS RUNNING LOW, POST PICS OF HER PLEASE!"
- /merch/- Usually consists of bronies buying toys or custom made merch off each other.
- /oat/- Random shit and spiderman threads....
- /rp/- role-playing
- /art/- Sort of like deviantart, if you post shit drawings of ponies people will still applaud you no matter what.
- /fic/- "WHO LIKES MY SHITTY FANFIC!" or "I NEED HELP WITH MY OC!"
- /media/- Shitty remixed scenes of the show in order to achieve something close to music.
- /collab/- "LETS WORK TOGETHER TO MAKE RETARDED MUSIC, ANIMATION, GAMES!"
- /chat/- Ranges from "hey how is everypony doing?" to "OMG I NEED HELP I HAVE NO IRL FRIENDS!"
- /dis/- Discussion of SRS shit.
- /g/- Basically it's the steam and TF2 pony mods board.
- /www/- Links to other sites or "LETS GO ANNOY PEOPLE ON OMEGLE!"
- /int/- For the non-English speaking bronies.
There are also hidden boards that can be accessed provided the user knows the exact location
- /metachat/- Forced Anonymous posting, effectively nuking tripfags
- /moon/- Where the rejects are sent to for misbehaviour. Rumored to be the hivemind among banned users
- /test/- For tripcodes, comment formatting and shit. Does not have any word filters
- /troll/- Posting a troll thread will cause it to be moved here, along with multiple annoying Pinkie Pie clones popping up on the page
/rule34/- For all MLP pornDeleted due to intense buttrage within the community. As such, posting it anywhere will result in a ban. Trying to access will result in a 406 error "Not Acceptable".- /gold/- Yes, Ponychan also features a gold account membership service. All yours for only $6.99 a month. Take or leave.
- /why/ - "Why would you post that?"
The site uses word filters to disguise the fact that it is actually in a state of disarray. By replacing certain words to mimic an environment of "harmony", several users have tried to evade the filters, to much degree of failure, thanks to the system being able to detect word variations and hidden characters.
- faggot - dweeb
- nigger - angel
- bestiality - friendship
- gay - pony
- cock - chicken
- vagina - candy vag
- butt/ass - plot (typing arse however does not filter)
- everybody/somebody/anybody... - everypony/somepony/anypony...
- troll - parasprite
- mein - my
- newfag/oldfag - newpony/oldpony
- lulz - schadenfreude
- mfw - mine countenance whereupon
- jelly - marmalade
- everybody walk the dinosaur - everypony walk the alicorn
- moot - toot
- cancer - canterlot
- hugbox - salty spittoon
- u mad - u currently experiencing the emotion of anger
- what the hell - what the hay
- raid - stampede
- hivemind - herdmind
- what a story mark - water story remark
- der - the
- derp - dərp
- derpy - dərpy
- viagra, cialis, :DDD - (nothing, posting will lead to an instant ban)
If Ponychan is ever down you can expect a large amount of bronies to go to FIMchan, which is basically the same thing except you can post shit that would usually get removed on Ponychan.
The Ponychan raid of 02/11/2011
On 02/11/2011, Ponychan was raided by 4chan's /b/, the raid involved flooding Ponychan's /pony/ board with Gaben, everyone who posted in the thread on /b/ was banned for 2 days and everyone involved in the raid was permanently banned from Ponychan. Fuck yeah!
Why?
—anonymous /co/ |
Fan Fictions
Most of the fan fictions are something you hear and see from shock sites, guro, offended and pain series as they are all written by sick fucks. Successful stories like "Sweet Apple Massacre" and "Cupcakes" are able to cleanse Bronies from their fanboy faggotry and heal vast sections of the cancer killing /b/. WARNING! ONCE YOU READ FANFICTIONS LIKE THESE, YOU CAN'T UNREAD THEM!
| Cupcakes | Sweet Apple Massacre |
Cupcakes
The air was warm, the sun was shining, and everypony in Ponyville was having a glorious day. The town square was bustling and crowded and busy ponies filled the streets. All the pony folk seemed to have somewhere specific to be. All except Rainbow Dash; her place was in the sky. She tore freely through the air, speeding one way and the next, buzzing the tree tops and racing the wind. The blue pegasus swooped over a schoolyard, much to the delight of the children, then climbed several hundred feet and dove, streaking downward as fast as she could. Seconds before hitting the ground, her wings flew open and she pulled up back into the clear blue. Rainbow felt alive.
Suddenly, Dash remembered that she had somewhere to be; she was supposed to meet with Pinkie Pie in five minutes. Dash had gotten so caught up in her exercises that she’d nearly forgotten that Pinkie had asked to meet her at Sugercube Corner at three. Pinkie hadn’t said why or what they’d be doing, but Dash knew that with Pinkie, it could be anything. Dash wasn’t sure if she really wanted to go, though. She was so engaged with her stunts that she thought about blowing Pinkie off to continue flying. But, Dash’s conscience got the better of her. She knew that it would hurt Pinkie’s feelings; after all, Pinkie had said it was going to be something special just for the two of them. Dash considered it and thought “why not?” What did she have to lose? Heck, it might be more pranking. Pinkie might have found a bunch more fun stuff to pull on folks, and they’d had so much fun the last time. Dash kicked into overdrive to make up for lost time, and sped to her appointment.
When Dash walked into the store, she was immediately greeted by her host, who was bouncing in excitement. “Yay, you’re here! I’ve been waiting aaall day,” said the jumping pony.
“Sorry if I’m a little late, Pinkie. I was doing my afternoon exercises and lost track of time,” Dash apologized.
Pinkie giggled and responded in a gleefully reassuring tone, “Oh that’s ok, you’re here now. What‘s a few more minutes? I’ve been sooo excited thinking about all fun stuff we’re gonna do, I haven’t stopped bouncing since I woke up. I mean, I almost forgot to breathe I’ve been so happy.”
Dash gave a slightly uncomfortable laugh. She had always appreciated Pinkie Pie’s friendly, outgoing way of life, but Pinkie’s overabundant enthusiasm almost creeped her out. Dash maintained a polite expression, however. If Pinkie was this worked up, whatever she had planned must be good.
“So, you ready to get started, Rainbow Dash? I’ve got everything all ready,” the pink pony said.
Dash psyched herself up. “You betcha, Pinkie. So what do ya got planed? We gonna prank somebody? I got a couple of good ones I’ve been thinking about. Or maybe you’ve got some stunts you think I should try? Or perhaps…”
“MAKING CUPCAKES!” Pinkie happily announced.
“Baking?” Dash was disappointed. “Pinkie, you know I’m not good at baking. Remember last time?”
“Oh that’s not a problem at all. I only need your help making them. I’ll be doing most of the work,” Pinkie explained.
Dash thought for about it for a second. “Well, alright, I guess that’s ok. What exactly do you need me to do?”
“That’s the spirit. Here you go.” Pinkie handed Dash a cupcake.
Dash was puzzled “I thought I was helping you bake.”
“You will be. I made this one just for you before you got here.
“So, is this like taste testing or something?”
“Sorta,” Pinkie said.
Dash shrugged and popped the pastry in her mouth. She chewed a bit and swallowed. Not bad. “Ok, now what?” Dash asked.
“Now,” Pinkie informed her, “You take a nap.”
Puzzled, Dash opened her mouth but felt instantly lightheaded. A wave of dizziness washed over her, the world spun, and seconds later she collapsed to the floor.
When Dash regained conciseness, she found herself in a dark room. She tried to shake her head but found that a taut leather strap held it firmly in place. She struggled to move, but braces around her chest and limbs glued her to a rack formed from a series of sturdy planks, which spread her legs wide apart. Dash’s wings were the only part of her not tied down, and they fluttered frantically while she struggled to escape. As she writhed, Pinkie jumped suddenly into her line of sight.
“Goodie, you’re awake. Now we can get started,” Pinkie stated gleefully. She bounded into the darkness, and quickly reappeared pushing a small cart covered with a cloth.
“Pinkie, what’s going on? I can’t move!” Dash said urgently.
“Well duh, that’s because you’re tied down,” chided Pinkie. “That’s why you can’t move. I didn’t think you’d need to be told that.”
“But why? What’s happening? I thought you said I was going to help make cupcakes.”
“You are helping. You see, I ran out of the special ingredient and I need you to get more.”
“Special ingredient?” Dash was now breathing heavily and starting to panic. “What special ingredient?”
Pinkie giggled and responded “You, silly!”
Dash’s eyes widened, and her face contorted in fear. Then she started to laugh and said, in a voice bordering on hysteria, “Woo, you really got me there, Pinkie pie. I mean, tricking me in to thinking I’m gonna get made into a cupcake? I gotta tell you, this the best prank yet. You win, you’re the best.”
Pinkie only giggled even more. “Aw, thanks Dash. But I haven’t done any pranks today, so I can’t accept your praise.”
Dash was struggling again. “Pinkie, come on, this isn’t funny.”
“Then why were you laughing?” Before Dash could answer, Pinkie grabbed the cloth and whipped it off the cart. On the cart was a tray containing various sharp medical tools and knives, carefully organized and wickedly sharp, as well as a large medical bag.
Dash was now in full panic mode. She was starting to hyperventilate. Her mind raced as she tried to reason with the pink pony. “You can’t do this Pinkie! I’m your friend!”
“I know you are and that’s why I’m so happy that I’ve got you here. We get to share your last moments together, just you and me.” Pinkie was skipping again.
“But, the other ponies will wonder where I am. When the clouds pile up, they’ll come looking for me and then you’ll get found out,” Dash cried in desperation.
“Oh, Dash,” said Pinkie. “Don‘t worry, there are plenty of pegasus ponies to take care of a few clouds. And besides, no will find out. I mean, how long do you think I’ve been doing this?” And with that ominous statement, the lights suddenly came to life and revealed the rest the room.
“Oh no.” Dash reeled in horror at the image presented to her. The room was decorated with a typical but twisted Pinkie Pie flair. Colorful streamers of dried entrails fluttered around on the ceiling, brightly painted skulls of all sizes were attached to the walls, and organs done up in pastels filled with helium were tied to the backs of chairs. The tables and chairs were made of bones and the preserved flesh of past ponies. Dash cringed upon seeing the center piece of the table nearest to her. The heads of four foals, their eyes closed as if they were sleeping, were wearing party hats made from their own skin. With a thrill of terror, Dash recognized one of them as Apple Bloom’s classmate Twist. Dash’s eyes darted back and forth and then fell upon a patchwork banner hanging from the rafters. Made from several tanned pony hides, the words “Life is a party” were scrawled on it in blood red.
Dash’s attention was brought back by a party horn unfurling and tickling her nose. She gaped at Pinkie Pie, who was standing right in front of her. The party pony was wearing a dress quilted from dried skin, emblazoned with cutie marks. On her back fluttered six pegasus wings, all of different colors. As the earth pony skipped in excitement, her necklace of severed unicorn horns clacked together loudly.
“Like it?” Pinkie asked. “I made it myself.”
Desperately, Dash pleaded with the smiling pony before her. “Pinkie please, I’m sorry if I did anything to you. I didn’t mean it. Please let me go. I promise I won’t tell anybody.”
“Oh Dash, you didn’t do anything. It’s just that your number came up and, well, I don’t make rules. We can’t turn back now.”
Dash was tearing up. How could this be happening?
“Aww, don’t be sad Dash,” said Pinkie. “Look, this’ll cheer you up. I brought you a friend.”
Seemingly out of nowhere, Pinkie produced a brightly painted blue and yellow skull. It was about pony sized, but it had a very defining feature: a beak.
Dash gaped in shock. “Is…is that….is…that?”
“Hey, Dash lets hang together. These ponies are lame-os. Dweebs dweebs dweebs,” Pinkie mimicked. “I caught her right before she left town. Remember when I left the party for about twenty minutes? That wasn’t enough time to play with her of course; I had to wait till after the party to do that. But boy am I glad I did. It was worth it for the flavor alone. Griffons taste like two animals at once, it’s amazing. I know she didn’t have a number like everyone else in Ponyville, but when was I gonna get another chance to try griffon? I probably should have asked where she came from so I could have gotten more, but I forgot. I’ll tell you what though, she was quite the fighter. She lasted a long time, which was a lot of fun for me. I got the chance to play with somebody other than a pony and try new things. It’s too bad she had such a meanie mouth. She said so much bad stuff I just had to take her tongue out. You know, bad language makes for bad feelings, Rainbow Dash.”
Dash didn’t have anything to say. She just sobbed and writhed in her tight bonds.
“Well” said Pinkie with an air of finality, “that’s enough reminiscing. It’s time to begin.”
Putting down Gilda’s skull, the pink pony gripped a scalpel in the cleft of her hoof and walked over to Dash’s right flank. Without any flair, Pinkie placed the blade an inch above Dash’s cutie mark and began a circular cut around it. Dash shouted in pain and tried desperately to pull away, but the braces held her still. Finishing the incision, Pinkie grabbed a curved skinning knife from the tray. Screwing up her face in concentration, she worked it under Dash’s skin and sliced the hide away from the muscle. Dash ground her teeth as she tearfully watched her flesh peel off. Pinkie then moved to the other side and repeated the process on Dash’s left flank. Once she had finished, Pinkie held up both cutie marks in front of her friend and started waving them like pompoms. Dash just whimpered. Her thighs burned like nothing she had felt before.
Placing the ragged patches of skin down, Pinkie selected a large butcher knife and walked behind the blue pegasus. “Hope you don’t mind, I think I’m gonna wing it now,” Pinkie laughed. She grabbed Dash’s left wing in her mouth and played with it for a few seconds, yanking it back so the sharp pain reignited the fire in Dash’s flanks. Then, stretching the wing out, Pinkie brought the blade down hard at the base. Instantly, Dash screamed and thrashed her appendage. The movement threw off Pinkie’s aim. She tried to hit the mark again but missed, and carved a huge slice into Dash’s back.
“Dash, you gotta stay still or I’ll keep missing,” scolded Pinkie as her friend howled.
Pinkie took another whack and hit her target. She swung again and again. Blood sprayed into the air, but Pinkie realized she wasn’t getting anywhere. The blade just wasn’t going through the bone.
“Hmm, I guess I forgot to sharpen it. I’ll try something else,” stated Pinkie matter-of-factly as she tossed the knife over her shoulder, embedding the blade in the table. Through the haze of pain and tears, Dash heard the sound of a metal box opening and closing.
“Got it! Say Dash, why do they call it a hack saw? It doesn’t hack; hacking is what I was doing with the knife. This is a saw. I don’t get it.”
Pinkie placed the tool over the mangled flesh of the last attempt. Standing on her hind legs, she worked the saw back and forth with her front hooves. It sliced effortlessly through the bone and skin. The feeling of the jagged teeth grinding into her made Dash want to vomit. She watched numbly as her wing flew over her head and landed with a fluff on the table. Pinkie moved to the next wing and started sawing. Dash didn’t struggle this time; she’d given up trying to fight and focused on choking back screams of agony. Abruptly, the sawing paused. Pinkie was only half way done, the wing hanging off by a sliver.
“Hey Dash,” Pinkie piped up. “Think fast!”
Suddenly, Pinkie yanked the wing as hard as she could. The bone snapped but the blue pony’s skin held, then tore away. The pull ripped away a long strip of flesh all the way down Dash’s back to her rump. Her body seized at the unexpected trauma. As her pelvis tensed up, Dash felt a warm release between her legs, and her loud, unending melody of pain filled the room. Unable to catch her breath, she blacked out.
Dash awoke with a gasp. The stench of her urine filled her mucus caked nostrils. As her vision swam into focus, she saw a very pouty Pinkie Pie removing a large adrenaline needle from her chest. Stomping her hooves, the frustrated Pinkie lashed out at her helpless victim.
“Didn’t anybody teach you any manners? It’s very rude to fall asleep when somebody invites you over to spend time with them. How would you like it if I came over to your house and went to sleep? ‘Oh I’m sorry Dash, you’re so boring I think I’ll take a nap.’ You think I like always doing this by myself? I told you how excited I got when I found you were next. I was excited to have a friend be here with me while I worked. But NOOOOO! You’ve got to be inconsiderate. You know, I thought you were tough. I thought you could handle anything. I’ve had foals stand up better than you! Do I have to baby you? Huh? Is that how you want me to remember you, as a baby?”
As Pinkie stopped to catch her breath, Dash blinked and sobbed softly. Her back was in agony, her sides were on fire, and there was an intense pain in one of her legs. As she blinked again, she saw Pinkie pop something red into her mouth and began to chew. Noticing Dash’s stare, Pinkie quickly gulped the morsel down.
“What?” Pinkie asked. “Oh, this?” She held up another piece. “Well, while YOU were asleep, I got a little impatient and helped myself to a small sample. I got it from your leg; you’re not bad. Wanna try some?”
Without waiting for a response, Pinkie shoved the strip of meat into the revolted pegasus pony’s mouth. Dash gagged, and immediately spit it out. Pinkie frowned, and picked up the chunk of flesh. “If you didn’t want it, you could have said no.” She contemplated the discarded snotty morsel, then gulped it up. “It’s not like you haven’t had my cupcakes before.”
Swallowing, Pinkie turned her attention to a small can on the tray. She removed the lid, revealing that it was filled with red-hot coals. Lying on top of the coals were several large nails. As the adrenalin filled her veins, Dash began to panic again. Picking up the can, Pinkie walked over to Dash’s left. Holding some tongs with her mouth, Pinkie carefully picked up a nail and positioned it at the seam between her victim’s front left leg and hoof. She then grabbed a hammer and took careful aim.
“No Pinkie!” Dash screamed. “NO! NO!”
The hammer came down and the nail punctured Dash’s skin. The white hot burning was too much. Dash screamed as she pulled and thrashed at the braces, causing her raw skin to rub and tear. Pinkie tried to line up another nail, but couldn’t find her aim, and let out a frustrated grunt. When Pinkie brought the hammer back to take a wild swing, Dash burst out crying and begging.
“PLEASE STOP! PLEASE, PLEASE STOP!”
Pinkie rolled her eyes. Putting down the hammer and tongs, she walked back in front of her friend and stared pensively at the broken pegasus. Gilda didn’t even cry this much when she had a live parasprite stuffed down her throat. Pinkie thought for a minute about what to do next, then had a sudden spark of inspiration.
Rotating a wheel on the rack, Pinkie laid Dash on her back, then moved to Dash’s hind legs, bringing the can with her. Picking up her tools, Pinkie drove a searing hot spike of metal directly into the bottom of Dash’s hoof. As Dash yelled in pain, Pinkie moved around and drove a second nail into the other hoof. Next, Pinkie went back to her cart and located an enormous battery and controller, which she dragged over to where she was working. She tied copper wires between the terminals and the nails driven into Dash’s hooves, then gave Dash a wink and flipped the switch.
Electricity rocketed through Dash’s body. The blue pony reacted immediately; her body seized, and her muscles snapped taut. Dash’s hips thrust skyward, her eyes rolled back, and she let out a deep, throat shredding cry. Pinkie giggled and danced in place, then reached down and turned up the juice. Dash convulsed uncontrollably, and her bladder emptied once more.
After about five minutes, Pinkie shut off the power. Wisps of steam rose from the singed fur around Dash’s hooves, and the area reeked of cooked flesh and burnt enamel. Pinkie rotated Dash upright again and tried snap the drooling, delirious pony back to attention.
“Dash? Dash! Rainbow Dash, wake up!” Dash moaned and managed to give a modicum of weak acknowledgment. Pinkie studied her handiwork, then reached into the medicine bag and produced a large syringe. “Alright, time for the last round.”
Dash focused blearily on the needle, which Pinkie took as a question as to what it was.
“This is a little something to take the pain away,” Pinkie informed Dash as she walked around to her victim’s ruined back. Dash flinched as Pinkie jabbed the needle into the lower part of the blue pony’s spine. Moving in front of her friend again, Pinkie leaned down and elaborated.
“In a few minutes, you won’t be able to feel anything below your ribcage. Then you’ll be able to stay awake to watch the harvest.”
Dash started to cry again. “Pinkie?” she choked out.
“Yeah?”
“I want to go home,” Dash sobbed.
“Yeah, I can see wanting to do that,” replied the party pony. “Sometimes, I just wanna give up, just say ‘I’m done with this mess’ and go to bed. But you know what? You can’t shrug off your responsibilities. You got to pull yourself up and meet the challenges head on. That’s the only way you’re gonna get ahead in life.”
Dash hung her head and cried.
Minutes passed as the drug took effect. Eventually, Dash was completely numb from her chest to her flanks. At this point, Pinkie approached with a scalpel. Glancing at Dash and smiling, Pinkie made a long horizontal cut across the pegasus pony’s pelvis, just above her crotch. Moving up Dash’s body, Pinkie made a similar incision under her ribs. Finally, Pinkie made a long vertical cut down Dash’s stomach, connecting the first two.
“Looks like I got my ‘I’ on you, Dash,” Pinkie giggled.
With a moist, gooey sound, the flaps of skin opened. The sight of her own organs and the lack of feeling caused Dash’s breathing to intensify. Pinkie carefully sliced open Dash’s abdominal sac and grabbed her large intestines. As she separated the organ from the rest of the digestive tract and pulled it out of the new cavity, Pinkie grew jovial. Laughing as she gutted her friend, Pinkie began to make jokes. Dash, growing weaker from this new source of blood loss, tried desperately to shut out the macabre comedy act.
“Look at me, I’m Rarity!” Pinkie laughed, slinging the intestinal tube around her neck and spraying blood in all directions. “Isn’t my new scarf soooo pretty?”
Reaching back inside, she sliced the smaller intestine off from the bowls. Squeezing out the excess excrement, Pinkie filed the slimy organ through her teeth and dragged it back and forth. “Dentists say you gotta floss every day, Dash.”
Dash was barely aware of what was going on anymore. The shock was causing her to fade. Disappointed, Pinkie dived back into the blue pony’s guts, ramping up her routine.
“Aw, don’t go yet Dash.” Pinkie started pulling out the rest of Dash’s organs, pausing with each removal. “I know I can be a real pancreas, but you know I’m just kidney with you. You really got to learn to liver it up. Boy, these jokes are getting bladder. Guess ya gotta develop a stomach for them.”
Pinkie placed the discarded body parts into a bucket, keeping the last one for bit longer. “Ooo, bagpipes.” she said, placing the end of Dash’s esophagus in her mouth and the stomach in her armpit. She squeezed, and a spurt of acid hit her tongue. “Eww! Oh hey look, there’s your cupcake, Dash!”
Dash didn’t hear her tormentor. She had slipped from conciseness minutes ago. Pinkie, not yet satisfied, hit Dash with another adrenaline shot. Dash woke up for the last time, her heart pounding. Warm blood flowed out from the wound in her chest in great spurts. It wouldn’t be long now.
Pinkie brought Dash around onto her back again and straddled the blue pony’s chest, scalpel at the ready.
“Ya know, Rainbow Dash, I’m disappointed. I thought you would have lasted longer. I really wanted to spend more time with you before we got here. But I guess it’s my fault; I should have taken it a little slower. Oh well. It was really was nice knowing you, Dash!”
The blade sunk into the blue throat and worked its way up to Dash’s chin. Coming back down, Pinkie’s scalpel then circled Dash’s neck. The last thing Rainbow Dash felt was her skin being cut away from her skull, and the metal of the blade scraping her teeth.
Then she was gone.
Pinkie Pie stared into the mirror. She had done a really good job, even keeping the eyelids. She winked, and Dash winked back. Pinkie smiled.
But still, she was sad that her friend was now gone. Dash had only lasted fifty minutes, not nearly as long as Pinkie had wanted. She looked back at the cadaver hanging in the center of the room, the last of her friend’s fluids draining into a pan. Yup, no more Rainbow Dash.
As she looked, Pinkie cocked her head. She began to take notice of the fact that there really wasn’t much damage to the corpse. “It fact,” the pink pony mused, “I think….” An idea exploded in her head. She was good at sewing and she had all the pieces, all she had to do was put them back together. Yeah, she just had to get some stuffing and bingo, she’d have Rainbow Dash forever. In fact, thought Pinkie, that’s what she’d do for all her best friends when their numbers came up. She was so excited, she skipped right over to the body with her skinner to get started. The cupcakes could wait; Pinkie Pie had a friend to make.
Silver Spoon suddenly woke up. She was on her back and couldn’t move. She couldn’t see. Where was she? Freaking out, she was just about to scream when the pony from the bakery appeared in front of her.
“HI!” she giggled
“Where am I, what’s going on”? The frightened little foal asked.
“Oh, well, you see, your number came up and I gotta make cupcakes.” Pinkie explained.
“W…wha….what does that mean. What are you talking about”?
“Oh, nothing. I wouldn’t worry it if I was you. It’ll be over soon.” She approached the girl, scalpel at the ready when a small voice called out from behind.
“Miss Pinkie, what are you doing”?
She paused and turned to look at Apple Bloom. The yellow baby pony walked up to her with an angry look on her face. Silver Spoon started to feel relived.
“Ah can’t believe your doing this.” She pouted. ”you said this one was gonna be mine.
Pinkie apologized “Oops, sorry about that, guess I got forgot. Here you go.” She handed the blade over.
Apple Bloom climbed on the table and stood over her prey. Silver Spoon tried to struggle. She stared in fear at Apple Bloom and her apron. The pink apron with a shiny tiara on it. Silver Spoon started to cry.
Apple Bloom grinned and open her mouth “Hey, Silver Spoon, guess who gonna be a blank flank”?
Sweet Apple Massacre
Big Macintosh surveyed the many apples trees that made up Sweet Apple Acres. It was nearly apple-buck season once again, and it looked as though they would be having a bumper harvest this year. He nodded, satisfied. His sister Applejack walked up beside him.
"Whoo, boy howdy! I sure am glad you ain't injured this time, Big Macintosh!" she said. "Why, there's even more apples on them trees than last year!"
"Eeyup!" Big Macintosh replied, in his characteristic manner. "Them's a lotta apples."
Applejack was silent for a moment, enjoying the feel of the slight breeze against her blonde mane. "Say, I don't suppose you've seen Apple Bloom anywhere, have ya? I been looking for her all day, and she ain't nowhere to be found."
Big Macintosh shook his head. "Sorry sis, can't say I have."
"Darn! That silly filly's probably gone off somewhere with her friends. I just hope she ain't getting herself into any mischief, or else there'll be hay to pay!"
"Don't you go worryin' yourself, Applejack," he replied, "I'm sure she's perfectly fine. But anyway, I need to go back to the barn. I gotta go and press some apples for some of my home-brewed apple cider. I hoof-picked a few apples earlier specially, all nice and plump and ripe, and they ain't gonna press themselves." Applejack laughed. "You sure do love your cider, don't ya! Just make sure Apple Bloom don't get her hooves on it again, we all know what happened last time!"
Big Macintosh chuckled along with his sister. "Eeyup!"
The large red pony trotted back to the barn, and gently closed the door. He opened a trap-door with his mouth and went down the steps into an old disused apple cellar. Usually it was just filled with junk; scrap metal, old worn out ploughs, old rope and various other bits and bobs that had outlived their usefulness. Big Macintosh often came down here when he wanted to get away from the world, to withdraw for a little while for some peace and quiet.
Today was different, however. The old rope, at least, had found a new use, because in cellar space were Apple Bloom and her fellow Cutie Mark Crusaders Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, bound and gagged, propped up against the wall. Three pairs of scared, round eyes looked up at Big Macintosh as he approached.
"Now then, ya three fillies," he said, as placid as ever. "Y'all need to learn a lesson. You need to learn not to mess around with Big Macintosh. All I want is some peace and quiet," he said, looking directly at Apple Bloom. The little red haired filly cowered under his gaze. "All I want is a quiet life, without all you Cutie Mark Crusaders runnin' round the place, making with the noise. When I'm finished with y'all, there gonna be no noise from you ever again."
As Big Macintosh approached, Scootaloo flapped her wings, struggling to get off the ground. Big Macintosh laughed, and grabbed one of her wings. He twisted, at first slow, watching the pain visibly grow in her eyes, but then tore hard, smiling slightly when he heard the snap and the muffled whimper that came from Scootaloo. He then threw her to the ground.
"Your wings are useless, ya silly filly," he said pleasantly. He then went to a toolbox and took out a rusty knife with a jagged blade and dropped it in front of the three fillies. "I'm gonna take off those gags now," he said. "The first one of you to scream gets their tongues cut out."
He took off Sweetie Belle's gag first. She looked up at him with terror, but managed to stay quiet. Next was Scootaloo. She let out a strangled whine and was breathing heavily, still in horrendous pain from her broken wing, but managed to resist the temptation. Finally, he removed the gag from his sister Apple Bloom. She stared at him with her large round eyes, filled with fear and incomprehension. This was Big Macintosh after all, her big brother and the gentlest of souls. Wasn't he? Surely this was just a horrible joke? But she had seen what he had done to Scootaloo's wing, and it was definitely no joke. She took a deep breath. "APPLEJA-"
Big Macintosh shoved his hoof in Apple Bloom's mouth, silencing her scream. He sighed and shook his head. "I tole you not to scream, Apple Bloom. You should listen to your big brother."
"I'll... I'll scream, and scream again, an' Applejack will hear and, and..." Apple Bloom said, falteringly.
"Ya know, I kinda hope you do. After all, I still ain't forgiven Applejack for that injury she gave me last apple-buck season. If you want Applejack to join y'all down here, scream away. I, for one, would welcome her company. But now, to business."
Big Macintosh picked up the knife, and loomed over the cowering Apple Bloom. He pinned her down with a powerful hoof, and stuck the knife into Apple Bloom's mouth. Sweetie Belle vomited at the sight, the thick yellow chunks and acidic-smelling liquid spattering heavily on the floor. Scootaloo managed not to be sick, but rather gasped and sobbed and choked with panic. Big Macintosh forced open Apple Bloom's mouth and with some effort cut out her tongue. Apple Bloom tried to scream but her mouth was too full of blood, so it was more of a muted gurgle. After a short while she collapsed, tears streaming from her eyes, falling unconscious from the shock and the pain. Big Macintosh then took the tongue and rolled it in the puddle of putrid vomit on the floor. He smiled at Scootaloo.
"Ya hungry?"
Scootaloo shook her head vigorously and cast him a defiant glare. "If Rainbow Dash was here she would kick the crap out of you, you... you maniac!"
Big Macintosh shrugged. "Well, she ain't. An' anyway, I wouldn't be so sure about that. Rainbow Dash ain't as tough as she likes to make out." He shoved the vomit-covered tongue into Scootaloo's mouth, and used his hoof to clamp her mouth shut. "Don't you go tryin' to spit it out now," he said calmly, with a little laugh and the filly struggled and squirmed. "Din't your mother ever tell you how important it is to chew your food?"
Scootaloo closed her eyes and flapped her one good wing desperately, eventually swallowing Apple Bloom's tongue. Big Macintosh, still holding the writhing Scootaloo down with his strong hooves, then mounted the orange filly and slid his penis into her tight virgin pussy, raping her for several minutes while Sweetie Belle watched, trembling with revulsion. Apple Bloom was still out cold, blood pouring from her torn-up mouth.
"Cutie Mark Crusaders rape victims," Big Macintosh said with tender mockery as he fucked Scootaloo, followed by a gentle chuckle. "Guess y'all found your purpose in life now; your special talent is gettin' raped. Eeyup."
Eventually he withdrew from Scootaloo, and gripped her head tight and repeatedly punched her hard with a hoof in the face, causing her nose to shatter and spurt with blood. He scooped up some of the blood and some of Sweetie Belle's vomit with his tongue and held it in his mouth, so that it mixed with his saliva, and then brought his mouth close to Scootaloo's and spat the rank mixture into her mouth. He clamped his hoof over her mouth and held her nose until she gagged and eventually had no choice but to swallow. As Scootaloo retched and spat and cried, he turned to Sweetie Belle. He grabbed her easily, as she was too shocked and traumatised to respond, and with apparent amusement he rammed her horn up Scootaloo's ass. The horn was too big and hard, so the skin around Scootaloo's ass ripped and blood and fecal matter first trickled and then poured profusely down onto Sweetie Belle's face, as well as urine as Scootaloo pissed herself.
"You keep doin' that, Sweetie Belle," he said. The unicorn carried on pushing her horn up Scootaloo's anus, slowly but surely. Her normally well groomed pink and purple mane was now stained a reddish-brown, glistening with the wetness of the piss and blood. "If ya stop, I'll come over there and, uh, get creative. I may seem a bit dense, but I'm actually quite a creative stallion, ya know," Big Macintosh said, with a wink. "Eeyup!"
He went to Apple Bloom and penetrated his little sister's unconscious body with his hard cock. While he violated her, he got another knife, this one sharp and shiny, and sliced open her flank, causing her glistening intestines to flop out wetly onto the floor. He glanced over, and was pleased to see that Sweetie Belle was still using her horn to anally penetrate Scootaloo, and her face was now completely covered in blood and feces and urine.
He turned his attention back to Apple Bloom, and scooped up her crimson entrails and wrapped them around her neck, still fucking the filly, and with his front hooves he pulled and pulled until it was wrapped so tightly around Apple Bloom's neck that it broke her windpipe. She was now surely dead, but Big Macintosh continued fucking her furiously until her body began to lose form and collapse into a quivering, amorphous mass of fur and blood and flesh. The perineum had fallen away, leaving a single red and raw gaping void. He carried on until he was fucking nothing but a single swollen and bloody orifice, and then discarded his baby sister's carcass as though she were nothing more than a rotten apple core.
He then took the knife, and grabbed Sweetie Belle and tossed her aside. He forced himself into Scootaloo's ruined anus, and then took the knife and cut from her ass in a sweeping motion up to her belly, and all her innards fell out. He then grabbed her head, twisted and tore it clean off, using his immense strength, and fucked it in the mouth and then tossed it aside. He then had sex with her headless body, both in the vagina and the ass until he got bored.
Sweetie Belle was the last remaining Cutie Mark Crusader. She was herself barely conscious, overcome with the nauseous stench of blood, shit and piss that covered her horn and her face. Big Macintosh pinned Sweetie Belle down with his hoof and plunged the knife into her green eye, and twisted, causing vitreous fluid to dribble out onto the handle. At that, Sweetie Belle let out a throaty whine and involuntarily emptied her bowels, and the aroma of fresh urine and feces filled the apple cellar once again. He withdrew the knife and did the same to the other eye, each time holding her tight and sticking his hoof into her mouth to silence her agonised screams. He licked the vitreous fluid that had leaked onto the knife, and then methodically began cutting and hacking at her front left hoof using the rusty knife. The knife was quite blunt, so it took a Herculean effort to get through the skin, bone and cartilage, but eventually the bone splintered and the leg came off. He did the same to her other legs, until all four were amputated and nothing remained but bloody stumps, with slimy white ligament and broken bone shards hanging out. At some point Sweetie Belle had passed out, the overwhelming pain too much for her to bear.
He then used the knife to gouge out her left eye and jammed his penis into her eye socket, penetrating repeatedly deep into her brain, enjoying how tight her skull felt around his hard shaft and how warm and squishy the brain-matter felt against the tip of his throbbing penis. As he did he twisted Sweetie Belle's neck. After he had finished skull-fucking her, he cracked open her skull with a swift stamp of the hoof, and bent down and ate some of the exposed brain, taking care to spit out a few fragments of skull bone that had got mixed in as he chewed. It was warm and slimy and tough, and stuck to the back of his throat. He swallowed, and then raped Sweetie Belle in the ass until it tore open and his engorged penis was smeared with what little fecal matter remained in her rectum.
He took one of Sweetie Belle's detached legs and shoved it inside her ass, and then fucked Apple Bloom and Scootaloo's bodies the same way, forcing the amputated limb in, hoof-first, as far as it could go. He thought how strange it was that the still lumps of torn flesh that he was fucking with Sweetie Belle's leg had been so vibrant and alive such a short time ago.
But now, all three were dead, and he finished by spurting his voluminous load into Apple Bloom's destroyed backside. He watched with satisfaction as the semen and blood and shit mixed together, forming a foamy maroon pool. He bent down and greedily lapped up some of it with his tongue, pressing his tongue deep into her anal cavity so as not to miss any, letting some dribbling down his chin. It tasted foul of course, a rancid, tangy slime that burned his throat, but it felt so satisfying. He swallowed the filthy goo, and wiped his mouth with a hoof. It was done. Big Macintosh would finally get his peace and quiet. "Big Macintosh, ya down there?"
It was Applejack. He looked at the disfigured corpses of the three fillies, all now barely recognisable as the oh-so-sweet Cutie Mark Crusaders, and realised he felt strangely unsatisfied. It had all been a bit too quick and easy. Now Applejack... that would be a challenge. She was Ponyville's best athlete after all; she even had the Prize Pony of Ponyville trophy to prove it. And, of course, he still hadn't forgiven her for that injury. He felt his penis stiffen once again in anticipation.
"Hey, Big Mac, I said are ya down there?" came Applejack's lilting voice again, this time more insistent.
Big Macintosh replied serenely, "I sure am, sis. Hey, come down here a minute. I've got somethin' to show you."
"Sure thing! What is it?"
"It's a surprise."
"Oh boy, I sure do love surprises! Somethin' real nice I'll bet."
Something real nice? Big Macintosh looked at the mangled, mutilated remains of the Cutie Mark Crusaders and his lips curled into a thin smile.
"Eeyup."
Galleries
-
Seattle's PAX 2011's Brony contingent. You can't make this shit up. -
Very. -
Ugly. -
Bronies.
-
The ponyfag cancer makes it's way onto v. -
Average MLP fan -
I can't clop to this! -
There's something horribly wrong with these statistics. -
Want retarded kids? Give them retarded toys. -
-
-
-
Instead of using his magical Asperger powers to cure cancer, this autistic fucker wasted them on this lameass TL;DR justification of why he watches a cartoon for little girls. Humanity is doomed.
-
-
Bronies are and will always be forever alone.
Videos
Always good for lulz.
Previous Video | Next Video
See Also
- Pony
- Furry
- My Little Pony Arena
- Ponyland Drama
- PonyIsland
- Robot Unicorn Attack
- Feminism
- Chris-chan
- Manchildren
- Asperger's Syndrome
- The Unknown Autobot
- Jasha Lottin
- Mr. Hands
- Faggotry
- Bestiality
- Sparkledogs
- Shitting Rainbows
- Basement Dweller
- Furries in denial
- Internet Cancer
- Ruining the Internet
External Links
- Hasbro site
- My Little Pony Arena (where most of the manchild bronies reside)
- MLPFIM wikia for bronies
- Ponychan. Don't go here, faggot.
 My Little Pony is part of a series on articles which are the subject of retarded edit wars |
Beware all ye who tread here Atheist • Ape • AQ Worlds • Black Jesus • Christian • Chimp • |
|---|
|
My Little Pony is part of a series on Aspies. | [Sperg out] |
| My Little Pony is part of a series on the cancer that is killing /b/ 
|
Sources [+]
4chan fgt hat day ♦ 9fags ♦ Angyl ♦ Attention Whores ♦ Bronies ♦ Camwhores ♦ Children ♦ Combofags ♦ Doing it for free ♦ Drawhores ♦ Eternal September ♦ Furries ♦ Gaiafags ♦ Hatefags ♦ iFags ♦ /mlp/ ♦ Memefags ♦ Mods ♦ Moralfags ♦ m00t and his final act of selling out ♦ Newfags ♦ Le Redittors ♦ Sagefags ♦ Samefags ♦ Shitposters ♦ TikTok ♦ Tripfags |
|---|---|
|
Symptoms [+]
7 Proxies ♦ Autism ♦ Caturday Nap ♦ Checking In ♦ Combo ♦ C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER ♦ Drama Prairie Dog ♦ DSFARGEG ♦ Everyone Get In Here ♦ #fortune ♦ Flood Detected ♦ GET ♦ Godly Luck ♦ Hai Guy ♦ I Don't Roll That Way ♦ My /b/ face ♦ Naked banana ♦ Name my band ♦ Post ending in (x) gets to name my (x) ♦ Prove Me Wrong ♦ Roll Call ♦ The Game ♦ Trying Too Hard | |
|
Forced Memes [+]
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ♦ 6-7 ♦ Andy Sixx ♦ Apples Bear ♦ Ayy lmao ♦ Balki ♦ Big Dog ♦ Chud ♦ Condom Snorting ♦ Deez Nuts ♦ Dental Plan ♦ Desu ♦ Dick Butt ♦ Family Guy Funny Moments ♦ FUCK YEAH SEAKING ♦ HNNNNNNGGGGG ♦ Isn't Dallas in California? ♦ I Took an Arrow in the Knee ♦ Jack Spicer ♦ Lanky Kong ♦ Milhouse ♦ My Little Pony ♦ Nyoro~n ♦ Random Album Art ♦ Rickroll ♦ Rita ♦ Sneed's Feed & Seed ♦ So cash ♦ Tape dick ♦ THE BEST ♦ Uncle Dolan ♦ WHEN I WAS ♦ Wew lad ♦ Woll Smoth ♦ X intensifies ♦ You Laugh, You Lose | |
|
Treatment [+]
4chan Gold Account ♦ An hero ♦ Alexander-sama ♦ Bring Back Snacks ♦ The Caturday Revival ♦ The Chemo That Is Curing /b/ ♦ DO IT FAGGOT ♦ Facepalm ♦ Gb2 ♦ In before X ♦ Incontinent Student Bodies ♦ Oldfag Sage Collective ♦ and most importantly... Original Content |
| My Little Pony is part of a series on Dying Alone
[]
| |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
My Little Pony is part of a series on Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
|
My Little Pony is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |