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Virgin: Difference between revisions
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[[Image:Retractedmicrowang.jpg|thumb|A man's penis after having '''no''' sex for 5 years.]] | [[Image:Retractedmicrowang.jpg|thumb|A man's penis after having '''no''' sex for 5 years.]] | ||
[[ | [[File:dagsadgsdsgadasg (2).png|thumb| At least he'll save on facial feminization surgery.]] | ||
[[Image:Guro penis necklace.jpg|thumb|This is what happens to male virgins.]] | [[Image:Guro penis necklace.jpg|thumb|This is what happens to male virgins.]] | ||
[[Image:TinyPenis.jpg|thumb|Typical virgin penis.]] | [[Image:TinyPenis.jpg|thumb|Typical virgin penis.]] | ||
Latest revision as of 03:39, 10 June 2021
OL
Untouched and pure, as in "virgin snow." Virgins are new to an IRC channel or a given community. When virgins innocently violate unspoken rules of netiquette, those experienced with the internets flame them into a smoking pile of greasy ashes, much like the NRA encountering Bambi. Because of their boorish behavior, virgins can appear to be trolls. However, trolls are consciously obnoxious for the lulz while virgins have no idea they are idiots. Savvy trolls will often create a sock puppet who pretends to be a virgin.
Sexual Virginity
According to a survey of 13-year-old boys, girls fall into three categories: virgins, sluts, and mothers. According to a survey of 16-year-old girls, females remain virgin as long as they only fuck Jesus and/or only take it in the ass. History demonstrates that most all girls are not virgins (unless they're under 10, you pedo). Much to their regret, most 13-year-old boys are because they have small penises and noone wants them. (And most 13-year-old boys don't like being victim to pederasty, no matter how handsome Noone is.) See also: Technical virgin. Usually virgins' pussies smell great.
Virgins Who Want To Stay That Way
Oddly, some virgins wish to continue their useless state of frustrated abstinence.
- Modest Girls
- Sample Entry: "I love Jesus. He's my lover and lives inside of my temple...so I don't need to show it off." (Note: An excellent source of what.)
- Iron Hymen
- You don't have to be a slut! Instead, you can live a bone-dry life that is bereft of disgusting penis snot that will try to cry its way up your uterus. Yes, you too can be a virgin for the rest of your life!
- Platonic Love
- Sample Entry: "Weezer lead singer Rivers Cuomo is continuing his celibacy past his self-declared deadline. 'Abstinence doesn't require as much self-discipline anymoar,' he says. 'We never had any serious groupies, anyway. Our generation got screwed.'
- Everyone on Encyclopedia Dramatica.
- I suck cocks.
- Anne Coulter
- thepeaguy!!!
- Consecrated Virgins
- WheatThins
- Asexuals
- Equivamp
—#ed | ||
Want To Be More Virginal
Fucking for Virginity Page was baleeted.
Chris-chan claims to be a virgin with rage, but when Clyde Cash sent prostitutes to his house, Chris refused them because he wants romance. [1]
What We Know
Not much is known about virgins because those who are virgins typically claim that they are really sex fiends. Scientists speculate that most virgins are actually recluses who have small penises. Female virgins often complain about it on their blog.
Useful Advice For Virgins
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Gallery Of Virgins
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It is sad, but you can tell for sure that some kids will be virgins their entire lives -
Typical Permavirgin you remember from High School while skimming through the yearbook... -
A virgin. -
What virgins lack in social grace, sexual prowess, talent, physical ability, and general value, they more than make up in their Team Fortress score. -
Chevelle...never been fucked.
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Will die sad and alone, still dreaming of JetBlackFreedomFighter. -
"Thank you Internet! Once again, my virginity is safe!" -
You can tell if someone is a virgin just by looking at them. -
Just Give It To Me Bitch(Common Virgin Screaming For SEX) -
A typical permavirgin. -
Cloning is the only way a basement-dweller will ever lose his virginity. -
Crapoartworks, a permavirgin -
Some MILF's are virgins. Honest. -
Girl slime -- Possibly one of the most dangerous substances known to virgin man -
Some virgins lie to themselves, and try WAY 2 hard -
Others wouldn't be virgins if they didn't give up religion -
Bet on it -
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The guy in the background. Yeah... -
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-
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Your sex life in a single picture. -
Never going to get it! -
You know you've spotted a virgin when his pc contains a series of tubes.
PermaVirgin
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PermaVirgin is an incurable affliction caused by the horrible virus known as "Nice Guy Syndrome". These boys are caught in a downward spiral that keeps them virgins forever, no matter how hard they try or how desperate they get. Part of this downward spiral is them doing exactly what women tell them they want, being a yes man, and buying gifts for her, which, unless they're a dominatrix, triggers the woman's "Don't Fuck" instinct (any real man knows that the key to getting laid is doing the exact opposite of what a woman says she wants, being an asshole to them). PermaVirgin is also known and best described as the Friend Zone. It can also be, and is more commonly caused by internets disease.
Famous Virgins
- This pathetic fuck.
- Uncyclopedia users AND editors
- The Entire No Cussing Club
- All of these guys
- All of 4chan
- Des Gregor
- Ann Coulter
- Christopher Cleary
- Fluffer
- Every World of Warcraft Player
- GreenReaper
- Kraken's ghost
- Gothreaper1
- GoddessMillenia
- Raptor Jesus
- Christopher Hitchens
- All the Smogonites
- Robert Wayne Stiles
- Morrissey
- The Jonas Brothers
- Linkara
- RandomDCE
- SlimVirgin
- Summoner Yuna
- VegetaWorshipper
- Azure-Neon
- The people on R9k
- Riders of the Virginmobile
- LittleCloud
- Gerard Way
- Bradford Cox
- Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto
- Jason Aula
- SephirothPrincess941
- Sony-Mae
- Spoony
- Basement Dwellers
- Furries
- Dying Alone
- Filthy Frank fans
- The Eclectic Espeon
- You
Famous non-virgins
- Captain Falcon
- Dorian Thorn, who lost his virginity to food.
- Gaston
- Dr. Steel
- Erotic Joe,
- Your mom
- ByAppointmentTo
- Chris-chan (Former Wizard)
See Also
- Virgins vs Virgin
- Spastic Virgin Auction
- Silk Screen Goku Shirt
- Hover hand
- You
- Christopher Hitchens
- Dan Rabot: Rapist
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Virgin is part of a series on Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage. |
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