Read a book

A very common rote aphorism often made by pretentious pseudo-intellectuals, neckbeards, atheists, and other obviously stupid people desperately attempting to appear intelligent, "Read a Book" is an extremely banal retort, comeback, or insult that is ironically enough, made almost exclusively by people that don't read. At most, any reading that is done by these numbskulls is done in a perfunctory fashion and is done simply because their teachers or professors made them do so. Nontheless, this unfortunate fact does not prevent these poor misguided souls into parroting this mirthful mantra of the feeble minded whenever they're backed into a corner during a debate or whenever they simply want to feel intelligent.

Examples of erudition

	“	Christians, why you ask stupid, rhetorical questions...is it because you're 2 lazy to read a science textbook? Do you know what a library is? Can you focus long enough to read a science textbook? Or does all your reading need to be in parable form like a child?	„

The Smartest One Here, tenured professor of LOGIC AND REASON at Harvard University.

Comebacks and tips for trolling

Ask them something along the lines of "which books would you suggest I read?" In most cases there will be no response as again, these people typically don't read.
Tell them that using such trite and platiduninous 3rd rate witticisms is a testament to their own obvious stupidity.
Use serious, irrefutable facts from Wikipedia (or better yet, good 'ol trusty and reliable Encyclopedia Dramatica) and make an ass out of them. WARNING! This will almost invariably result in the pwnt accusing the pwner of having "No life."
If applicable (and usually, it is) correct their spelling and grammar. Sit back and LOL as they then try to defend their errors and/or try to play them off as "typos."
.... NO U!!!!1!!!

Types of people that are dumb enough to actually use this adolescent cliche

Types of people that don't read books

Niggers and the nigger lovers who voted for Obama.
H8rs
Rednecks
Creationists
Hipster science new fags
Atheists
Christians
Chris Chan My Little Pony pop-up books don't count.
Social Justice Warriors
Feminists
Muslims (As 75% of them are illiterate)
Guidos
Mexicans
Women Bitch don't need to read unless it's a recipe book on how to make me a sammich.
Cooldude
Republicans
Democrats
Third Party Candidates
Ann Coulter
Amanda Todd
Doopie DoOver The fact that he's a High School dropout says books are this bitch's kryptonite.
You
Your Mom Not a lot of time to read when she's going from job to job on her back.

People Who Actually Need To Read A Book

Jewish Men ^✡ It's how we rule the world.

1: Jews make reading look stupid.
2: All races, except Jews get dumber. Because whites are now as slack jawed and stupid as other races they ask the super smart Jews for their help because they can't handle leading any more.
3: Jews swoop in
4: ???
5: Profit

Read a book is part of a series on Books	Too Long. Did not Read.Books 300 • Beowulf • Do You Want To Play With My Balls • Fifty Shades of Grey • Fight Club • Harry Potter • Inheritance • Latawnya • Lolita • Lord of the Rings • Mein Kampf • Narnia • Necronomicon • Redwall • The Bible • The Book of Mormon • The Greek Semen • The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy • The Maze Runner • The Well-Cultured Anonymous • Time Magazine • Twilight • V for Vendetta • Watchmen • Where's Waldo?
	People get paid to write this garbage!?Authors Alan Moore • Ambrose Bierce • Anne Frank • Anne Rice • Ayn Rand • Charles Bukowski • Dan Brown • David Icke • Dr. Seuss • Edgar Allen Poe • Emilie Autumn • Geoffrey Leonard • Gloria Tesch • H.P. Lovecraft • Hunter S. Thompson • Kenneth Eng • Kevin Smith • J.K. Rowling • L. Ron Hubbard • Michelle Belanger • Neil Gaiman • Noam Chomsky • Patrick S. Tomlinson • Prince Jeremy • Brian Jacques • Richard Dawkins • Sylvia Plath
	Fuck reading. Just use Sparknotes.See Also Big Brother • Book • Bookchan • Bookz • Chekhov's Gun • Culture • Deus Ex Machina • Grammar Nazi • Language • Literature • Lithursday • Pennywise • Poetry • Public Library • Read a book • TV Tropes • Visual Novels •

Read a book is part of a series on Language & Communication

Languages and Dialects • Grammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Style, and Usage • Rhetorical Strategies • Poetry • The Politics of Language and Communication • Media • Visual Rhetoric
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