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Themysticenigma
— Kel's own sister | ||
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KEL GOT BTFO'D |
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This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
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| JarleyNygMobblePot | |
| Given Name(s) | Kelsey Lynn Currie |
| Born | May 2nd, 1995 |
| Nationality | Cankee  
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| Residence | Nova Scotia, Canada |
| DeviantART | [1] |
jarleynygmobblepot (formally known as themysticenigma, purpleladydreamer, AND fandomverse95) or known IRL as Kelsey Lynn Currie is a 21 year old 22 YEAR OLD pedophile who whines and complains over the littlest things harder than a cuckold at Trump's inauguration. She claims to be mentally retarded and always uses it as a "get of jail" card, even when it doesn't include her autism at all because it's srs bsns on the interbuttz. Not to mention, she consistently complains about hate speech, call-out journals, child pr0n, homophobes, and christfags when she does the exact same thing as them by writing fanfictions of Bubbles from the powerpuff girls making out with Snake and ANOTHER with Buttercup being diddled by Ace Cockular, making 3-4 call-out journals and statuses on any user she sees fit(which in this case means those she BAWW'locked), attack Transgenders, and sounding exactly like a Christfag while doing so. Everything you see on her is true, and how did we find out? Well surprise-surprise! She left it out on the internet and is rly mad!
Biography
Kelsey is simply to put(due to describing her in detail would make this a wall-text) a special case of fetal alcohol syndrome mixed with down syndrome. She rages on a cesspool site known as Deviantart showing her interact with other outcasts, however it would seem to be far fetched to call her one due to 1) Outcasts don't bother with the rest of Humanity and 2) she's literally into fandoms like Sonic and the Powerpuff Girls while in college. Henceforth, a reason why America needs to adopt a Eugenics protocol, or just delete fucking everything. She's supa kewl and hip with the kids due to claims of reading edgy stories on internet(because that's what the cool kids do; you wouldn't know) and have a major female boner for Jeff the Killer, no srsly it's not even a joke. She claims to be asexual because she's afraid of sex, however she must have realized that no one in the whole fucking world would fuck her, not even her brain damaged boyfriend since he's too brainfucked on how to stick his cock into that whale's vagina, not to mention if she ever did achieve being boned(corpses sadly count) it'll be a new low for the human race. LOL JK GUISE!!1! She's just self aware she's a perma-virgin and is doing the gene pool a favor. She became inactive as of November 24 but came back a week later after kidnapping a shota for her own pleasures. Not to mention she's taking a college course in grammar, proving degrees in the English language can be equated to that of a gender's studies degree, absolutely fucking nothing.
Did I mention she can also speak Spanish? Though if you criticize her usage of the language you'll be blocked, reported, called out, be named a cyber-bully, have statuses and journals written on you, AND reported to the RCMP. But it's 100% okay if she criticizes others when they speak English though. Fun fact: She's currently attending NSCC, so like any sensible human being; send them a message. :) Though while she DID screeched at certain TARTlets on the site, all which hadn't reached astronomical butt-hurt proportions until...
Attack on Mocha
It was July, 2016 and all coffee kind was doing their usual autistic seizures in a farm in Ethiopia, then all of a sudden-HOLY SHIT SOMEONE TOLD ANOTHER USER 2SUK SATAN'S JUICY DIK!!1! So our hero Mocha did something that every coffee bean will agree to: go to their page and call them a fucking retard. Now this was considered a declaration of war to Kelsey, not only to her but everyone in the disabled community and decided to teach this horrid troll the error of her ways, by autisticaly screeching in every journal entry to follow. Now Kelsey saw that and said it was good, and to be sure it was good; she also made over 9000 status posts on her; just to be careful of course. However Kelsey should have known that this was a bad idea, as everyone knows that the internet is srs bsns and you should never feed the troll. Unfortunately for Kel, this was the beginning of The Autist Wars of DeviantArt(2016-) and she will have hardly allies to white knight her. This horrendous troll did the unspeakable, this troll did the unthinkable, THIS TROLL-made parody literature of her shitty fan-fictions. This INFURIATED Kelsey to no ends! How could someone do such a heinous crime as art theft?? Despite that the fact parodies are protective under the law, Kelsey clearly proved this was NO parody; and how you may ask? Because she said so, and you can't question her or get the b& hammer. Simple. Mocha's "original" account disappeared and Kel presumed she is ded; and had a minor ejaculation over the ordeal-until 5 seconds later she got a violation notice for writing child pr0n and a new account appeared!! And OH BOYYY--- WAS SHE PISSED! She knew this had to be the work of the dastardly Mocha(who else?), and she knew what to do for this type of situation: blame it on Mocha that she wrote CP and now everyone knows due to stating in a public status. And she wondered why "pedo" is a common word to describe her, along with being the reason why post-term abortion should become legal. Realizing blaming Mocha for all of her life's problems(like a certain group) isn't giving her the ass-pats she needs to cool down her ass-rage, she decided to take it on step further anddd- blame Mocha for creating her ED page. Kelsey even went far and reported both Mocha and ED to the RCMP because dis is cyber-bullying!!1! :( What's interesting is that Kelsey has made an ED account and just like her previous predecessors, declared world war jihad on the site. Which brings us to....
Taking Down ED
Kelsey was out for blood and decided to take this whole site down by herself, she created an account under the name "GlitterBlood2016" which totally didn't gave it away guise!!1! Not to mention it's not even more painfully obvious it's her due to this being the only article she vandalized. Oh and she was the only one to raid here, she didn't even had white-knights to do it for her. This proved even CWC has some likability on the internet, which makes Kelsey a even bigger low. Since raiding ED didn't work(wonder why) and she got a ban hammer up her gaping asshole for 5 years; she decided to take it to Twitter. Where everybody just scrolled past by since it's ED and she deserved it. Realizing this, Kelsey just nuked her Twitter, Tumblrs, and Facebook(sadly only temporarily) and never thought maybe turning off the computer screen and going outside was the best option at this rate. However this is Kelsey we're talking about, logic is not guaranteed.
Kel The GOOD Samaritan
Unlike other TARTlets on this site, Kelsey here has a vast knowledge on proper Human behavior and the Universe itself, so like a Christian at a gay pride parade; she goes on a rant on sluts and religion. She then proceeds to smite the white knights coming her way afterwards, not before sucking the moderators cock of course. This however was an epic failure, since she got BTFO'd logically by those "white knights" couple seconds in and Kelsey had no choice but to block them and hide their comments. This infuriated the TART community, not only because of her blocking off legitimate criticism, but her attacking other "artists" on the site for things such as:
- "Erections" or in Kel's case any bulge in the crotch area showing up
- "Pr0n" or in kel's case again showing cleavage, panties, or anything else she deems as porn.
- "Fetish" or anything deemed as a fetish.
- Liking fictional characters despite her having a crush on several.
When confronted about these she'll automatically block you after calling you a "bitch, loser, or cunt" and flag your comment as spam. But remember, she's not r00d guys!1! She's also not a hypocrite, despite correcting a non-native speaker's grammar yet gets irritated when others do it to her. Yep, definitely not!
Stuff You Need To Know
Things she hates
- The colors purple, blue, and green
- Anyone who disagrees with her opinions
- Anyone who criticizes her "art" and totally well written journals
- Anyone who eats meat
- People who call her "Miss Verse"
- People with autism
- Anyone who dares to call out on her hypocrisy
- Anyone calling her a faggot(which is insulting towards faggots in general)
Things she likes
- Mocha and coffee in general
- The librarian she tried to "teach" courtesy
- People criticizing her Spanish
- Horrid English
- Being called a furry
- Psuedo-Erections
- the word "retard"
- Attention
- Her teachers
- Getting told asexuals are apart of the LGBT community and they're Queer
- Her acne and stomach
- Religion
Stuff she never shuts up about
- Sonic the Hedgehog
- Her artwork being stolen
- Her Vegetarianism
- Her autism
- Her fucktarded boyfriend Matt's BBC
- Trump supporters
People who r mean :(
These people are doing God's work to stop the tyranny of the hippocrate herself. Be sure to watch them.
- Mocha
Examples of Kel's hypocrisy
- She says conservative-retard is a whiny weeaboo douchebag when she clearly whines and complains herself, even more than ADF-Fuensalida.
- Is a Sonicfag but attacks furries despite Sonic is considered as a furfag show, bonus points when she said all furries fuck animals which made things even better.
- Says My Little Pony is for babies when she clearly is a fan of The Powerpuff Girls which is equally as childish, not to mention Alvin and the Chipmunks, Ever After High, Monster High and Junie B. Jones.
- Claims perfect artists' art is disgusting when her gallery consists of unoriginal and disgusting artwork and recolors, dress-up games screenshots and MSPaint masterpieces.
- She tells ersgood us to stop whining about her artwork being stolen when she basically complains about having her own artwork stolen and went as far as to even call the police.
- Makes art of nude underage characters but bitches about other users doing the same. Is also in denial about that, wonder why...
- Bitching about those who break DA rules yet breaks them as well
- Bitches at others criticizing her for her usage of Spanish yet attacked another user who wasn't a Native English speaker
- Bitches at anything "pornographic" yet gets enraged when confronted that she also uploaded erotic content
- Hates Transgenders and refuses to call them by their preferred pro-nouns yet calls Mocha a girl, which is ironic to a degree
#FreeMocha campaign
We here at ED would like to introduce a new trend, the #freemocha campaign. Because like Hitler, Mocha did nothing wrong. How to show your support for the movement:
- Step 1: Have a coffee related username
- Step 2: Comment on her profile(be sure to mention being Trans, mentally retarded/have down syndrome, and the word retard all in one)
- Step 3: Archive her response for shits and giggles
- Step 4: ???
- Step 5: PROFIT!
How to Troll Kel: By Mocha
This is Mocha's step by step process from a now baletted journal on how to successfully enrage Kel, let's start:
- Step 1:
- Step 2:
That's it. Enjoy the tears~! :)
Her ~Amazing~ Artwork
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By Picasso -
And she whines about people stealing her art -
It's hard being autistic
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Sexy snake lady is sexy -
This beautiful work of art was made in paint -
Mystic's wet dream -
Notice the pain in his eyes -
Hide your children -
"Help me" -
"God why?"
And The Troll's
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Captures her beauty by the Human eye -
Isn't it sad when a Troll can do better? -
Accurate -
A badge of honor
The End?
It was June 6th, 2017, and all of DeviantArt has begun to lose hope on getting rid of this vermin and with Mocha nowhere to be found they began to realize she's here to stay for good; when all of a sudden: a new challenger appears! And it was no one other than, her own sister!1! Her sister was proven to be a reincarnate of King Arthur, and smites Kelsey for her faggotry on the Interbuttz. Not only did she made her deactivate, she also made her write an apology towards everyone first; including our hero Mocha. Some accepted it, some knew she wasn't gonna change; but now every tartlet on DA can sleep at night, knowing that the wicked witch is below 10 feet a ditch.
See Also
- Princesselizabeth013
- Chris chan
- Autism something she claims to have
- Canada
Social Media
kel.currie 
(archive)- jarleynygmobblepot DEACTIVATED
155chipmunkz
Blog dedicated to looking up shitty fashion BALEETED- Main blog BALEETED
- "Anyone still playing webkinz?"
therealkellynn BALEETED- New main blog BALEETED
- Blog for her cringey genderbent Penguin RP BALEETED
- Blog dedicated to her pastel goth phase BALEETED
- draculina.nightwing
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Themysticenigma is part of a series on Aspies. | [Sperg out] |
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Themysticenigma is part of a series on Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage. |
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Themysticenigma is part of a series on Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
| Themysticenigma is part of a series on Dying Alone
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