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Rootbrian
—Rootbrian, daredevil | ||
Rootbrian, whose real name is Brian Gilbert Collinge, is a 41-year-old passive-aggressive YouTube lolcow and anti-cyber bullying "activist" from Canadia who has an evenly shorn ex-unibrow, a grill worse than Jawsus', and the personality of a kitchen utensil. An unemployed, mildly autistic 5'4" dwarf (no, srsly), he has become known as a motherlode of LOL on the tubes. He specializes in producing an unbelievable number of informative and meaningful videos on a wide variety of subjects he feels are important, as well as providing the odd lolcano here and there. Brian lives at home in a shared room with his brother and mother on a steady diet of government cheese and is, by far, one of YouTube's biggest sources of lulz to date. Rootbrian is basically the YouTube equivalent of that bloody car crash you can't help but slow down to look at. He's a staunch Fetch fanboi, YTV supporter, and wannabe Anon with high hopes for the tubes and feels he could hit it big if only teh "haters" would leave him alone. He dreams of getting his own bedroom someday, and scoring a solid dental plan if only his mother would shell out some welfare money.
History
On June 18th 2008, Rootbrian's (more like Rootcanal amirite?) video (now removed) caught Anon's attention. In this video, he threatened the faceless collective of anonymous Internet users with his personal army, claiming that if anyone ever tries to attack him or his friends, there will be blood. This was seemingly done for no other reason than to draw attention to himself and act like a tough guy online.
—Brian | ||
An ebaums thread ensued shortly thereafter and minutes later the first thread 404'ed with a shitload of rage posts, the raid organization on the target subsequently moving to a vent server. Anon managed to grab his info, which wasn't hard to find as Brian had posted it on the interwebs for the sake of finding new Internet friends for this god amongst men.
Luckily, there have suddenly been hundreds of "friends" calling his home and cell phones, making sure he's getting enough delicious food delivered to his house. While the vent channel has been generating mediocre lulz, the half-anon snipe ate some steroids and convinced the target to make an exclusive apology video, for otherwise he would provide anon with his IP and the food treatments would continue for a very long time.
According to the videos he made after the raid, anon converted his brain into pure cancer. With the common needs satisfied by the traumatized victim, anon moved on to more important things.
Reaction to Wikification
Of course, it didn't take long for this hilarious event and one of YouTube's biggest lulzcows to be documented on this website. After discovering that he was still being trolled and that his YouTube shenanigans had been wikified, Brian offered his thoughts on the article. Unfortunately, this very lulzy video is no longer available since it was posted under one of his older accounts -- which was rightfully banned. A quote from the video:
—Brian, having trouble with the search function. | ||
See moar in Rootfaggotry and Deja Vu
Rootfaggotry
Anon lost interest in Brian rather quickly following the initial lulz, but he very willingly spent most of the summer of 2008 grovelling at the feet of Anon and ED, pleading for others not to troll him. Brian's ability to read between the lines isn't that great though, and apparently that affability was false. So at the whiff of possible retaliation against his oppressors -due to the claims of some 13 year old- he quickly did a 180° when convinced he could get that sweet, sweet revenge against his "haters"....
Previous Video | Next Video
—Brian on Brian's butthurt issues with ED. | ||
—Brian | ||
Epic lulz ensued shortly thereafter as, due to incidental downtime on Aug 25th, Brian had assumed that he had actually achieved that promised "revenge" and promptly blew his load at the prospect of his article disappearing. He immediately posted an extremely lulzy victory video titled "ED IS TAKEN DOWN!!" declaring that "Anonymous has taken down ED". 3 hours later Brian realized what had happened and promptly posted a lulzy backpedal video before he quickly sank back into his clinical depression and returned to his rigorous masturbation schedule of spamming YouTube with moar lulzy shit. He apparently did not realize that Anonymous is not on his side, and that they want to make him voluntarily become an hero.
Brian's Butthurt
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This section relies entirely on facts. Fact Cat knows this because of his learnings. Sorry for the lack of dick jokes. |
To those who still don't know, this article was removed toward the end of 2008 as a result of Brian himself sending in numerous false DMCA's against the entire contents of the article out of extreme butthurt. As you can see, the article was restored after somebody finally decided to stop being lazy and counter Brian's bogus DMCA take down requests, despite his desperate (and illegal) actions to have it removed. Brian has a little trouble understanding how the DMCA and lawls work though, as he is known for his abuse of the DMCA - on YouTube and elsewhere - believing it can be used against anything remotely referential to him or his YouTube channel(s). Gee, sounds familiar.
It was also revealed, shortly before his original account went down - in which he had uploaded OVER 1,000 FUCKING VIDEOS (no, SRSLY) - that the rootbrian.com website (the website which was supposedly set up by one of his "fans") was in fact set up by himself. No, we're not joking. Brian and the website "owner's" IPs were phished on the same day and were identical, which also means the 
rootbrianfan channel is his - Brian seems to like talking to himself.
Brian got raped by the YouTube banhammer not long after only to return immediately as r00tbrian wherein he continued to spam and whine incessantly as always. He started wearing a Guy Fawkes mask for some reason, supposedly because that's what all the kool kids were doing and he wanted to fit in. Still, this was a vast improvement over the usual fugliness viewers are subjected to when watching his tl;dw faggotry. But he wasn't around long before he was suspended, only to return, once again, as 0RecoveryIsPossible0. It was also recently revealed that he uses a cane IRL. LOL.
Rootmom speaks...
Epic lulz occured when Brian made a series of lulzy responses in early 2009 regarding evidence that surfaced suggesting he has somewhat of an unhealthy interest in underage girls (presumably in some desperate effort to convince people he wasn't watching R@ygold in his spare time). Brian has since done a great job dispelling these accusations by surreptitiously consorting with the YTV and the likes of Dynacatlovesme (who has scripted a couple of videos for him as it turns out). After being outted as having pedo tendencies for some reason he also made a video where he vlogged from the mall about it . Incidentally, in this follow-up Brian states that Circuit City is conspiring to take down the YouTube Yahweh Clan Who knew?
But that wasn't all...he actually got his mother to respond ON video!!!!!
—Rootbrian's fugly mom | ||
The Banhammer Falleth Once More
After shitting out hundreds more videos of the same Rootfaggotry, his 0RecoveryisPossible0 account got banned for great justice. He returned yet again under TheOriginalRootbrian and began his spamming shitstorm with a very lulzy video
—RootBrian, not heeding his own advice. | ||
ED Amazon Store
April 28th, 2009, lulz were had as Brian put out an ultra smug video claiming that he had gotten items "removed" from ED's Amazon.com store. What were removed were teddy bears that were wearing t-shirts that said "I <3 pedo" on them. In reality Pedo was a Mexican kid with cancer that they were selling the bears for to raise money for his treatment. No seriously.
In reality, ED's Amazon store just finds shit on Amazon and adds them to the store, i.e. nothing can be "removed" as such, only from Amazon in general. Basically, it wasn't ED that was actually selling anything, it's Amazon, and we just pick a bunch of items that are relevant. It's a little doubtful he will have the same success getting "Play Station 3 bundle" and "Rick Astley CD" removed. So basically it was a huge victory for anyone and everyone who hates Teddy bears.
—Brian. Thinking people give a fuck. | ||
Pssshhh...that article doesn't bother me
Once this article was reinstated in late April 2009, it didn't take long for enterprising trolls to alert Brian of the article's continued existence, which in turn led Brian to set out to prove just how little he cares about his article. In typical Brian fashion he accomplished this, of course, by making a nine minute video a mere one day later whining about how little he cared about it. This one, entitled Down with Encyclopedia Dramatica, continues Brian's long-held tradition of battering YouTube with whiny bullshit and hilarious stupidity. In the video, Brian gives an in depth view of how little he knows about legal issues and makes several very bad attempts at insulting the site that he supposedly doesn't care about. He even touches upon the hot topic of saying that Uncyclopedia is better than ED, which is like walking into an apple orchard and trying to piss off the farmers by telling them how much you love oranges.
As you can see, Brian also makes several proud proclamations of how his video "can't be embedded," as it seems he finally figured out how to edit the settings of his videos, but still can't understand how easy it is to reupload videos to YouTube or any other media site on the internet.
YouTuber AbsenceReborn, with whom Brian had had previous disputes, made a fantastic video summating Brian's faggotry in general. One of dozens and dozens people have made mocking Brian, it basically summates Brian's retardedness distilled - to which Brian answered in his usual retarded fashion. Brian also then attempted to backpedal yet again by stating that he "only made the video for the lulz." (Video removed due to Brian crying to YouTube again)
Of course, Rootbrian has been faking for over two years now. Fast forward to 2010 and Rootbrian is already butthurt over the Twitter spam he is getting. End result - he watches his ED article constantly to remove good stuff in secret. However his attempts are pretty futile resulting in everything getting reverted.
Deja Vu
Fortunately, Brian isn't very good at learning from history. And as expected, Brian didn't fail to provide lulz when ED was down (for a whole day!) on May 12th, 2009, when he became quite excited and (you guessed it) posted a series of extremely lulzy responses. All Brian's E-dreams seemingly came true when he rejoiced at ED being "gone forever". When she came back, as she always does, Brian got that ol' sinking feeling again to the delight of the YouTube troll community. Oh Brian :(
—Rootbrian, with Unrealistic expectations | ||
—Rootbrian, still not caring about this article | ||
—toughdog6789, responding to RootBrian's video | ||
Lulzy Rootbrian Quotes
—Rootbrian's wish list, which to no surprise, does not include a dental plan. | ||
—Rootbrian, taking a stand against good hygiene | ||
—Rootbrian, just married, renouncing his dox. | ||
—Rootbrian, on being not gay. | ||
—Rootbrian, providing personal grooming tips. | ||
—Rootbrian denying the truth that is being spread by the Rootbrian Twitter Spammer | ||
—Rootbrian, showing rebuttal skills only overshadowed by Angry Homo Kid's. | ||
—Rootbrian, trying to convince people he's not drinking while intoxicated. | ||
—Rootbrian, going block-happy and claiming that he's not censoring. lolwut. | ||
— Rootfaggot spouting out more bullshit | ||
—Rootfaggot being a hypocrite as usual. Note the terrible grammar and lack of punctuation as well. | ||
Skype Trollin' And Tiny chat trolling
[[EXPAND]]
MOAR
(Root)Brian Collinge blames ED for his online reputation or lack thereof and his inability to obtain employment. LOL.
- Brian, summing up his life story in a sentence.
Rootbrian fights against false flaggers
Brian in an attempt to take down people who were "false flagging" his videos made a video promoting a new team that was against false flagging. The team was known simply as "Team Win" needless to say this team effort failed at what it was supposed to do. Stop people from flagging his videos lol.
ED's Demise
On April 15 2011, after it was found that a fat money-grubbing jew-cow sold out ED and replaced it with OhShiternet without prior warning, Rootfag and his boyfriend Doug uploaded exactly 69 videos about their naive excitement on ED's downfall. Butthurt ensued after the Rootcanal discovered that it took no more than a day before loyal EDiots quickly scrambled to get to get their king back up and running.
To celebrate, Rootbrian decides he doesn't have enough cavities and missing teeth.
Boytoy Doug uses his mating calls to attract potential rape victims.
Rootfag is butthurt over ED's quick reserection and unaware of the reason for its demise.
Brian talking shit about ED again
and again..
- Brian via RootbrianRocksAgain in an obvious display of butt-hurt.
The infamous and banned iPad video
Sometime around June 2010, Brian went onto Jewtube bragging about how he was going to go into the Apple Store in the Toronto Eaton Centre to destroy demo models of the then new iPad. One of his tormenters, TheMissingTooth, alerted mall management of this video, who in turn alerted store staff and security, putting an end to the crippled faggot's plans. About a year later, Brian went onto say that it was only a joke, and that store staff knew about this the whole time. He also had all copies of the video banned from Jewtube and Dailymotion out of extreme butthurt. Brian is very adamant of having this video banned from all video hosting sites, and tries to file DMCA or 'cyberbullying' complaints about it. If you live in Toronto, feel free to pop by the Eaton Centre's Apple Store and inform the staff on duty about the drug addicted cripple and show them the video.
Trivia
- Makes videos on 3 subjects exclusively:
- Crying about trolls.
- Destroying his mother's microwave by nuking random household objects.
- Whining about non-existent censorship of his channel and Google (while his channel is fully RID enabled of course).
- He spends most of the day "napping" for 5-14 hours at a time.
- Foolishly responds to hate comments, leading to an increase in his hate "following"
- One of YouTube's most well known pathological liars. Can be caught, at any given time, lying his ass off and/or backpedalling about almost anything whatsoever.
- His mom has seen his article.
- Rootbrian surprisingly has a girlfriend,She lives in Wigan,United Kingdom while Brian lives in Toronto,Canada. Rootbrian says he can't put any pictures up of them together
because he doesn't have her permission to do so.because previous comments on her facebook have led us to believe that she is, infact, a faggot who wants to see his pen0r LOLWUT? - Has openly consorted with and supported YTV and Logansperman2, Irish282 and Dynacatlovesme.
- His brother was revealed to be even more IRL retarded than he is in a video Brian uploaded where his brother spoke in slurred mongoloid speech-patterns and picked his nose and ate it. Despite this, his brother still has a job, a girlfriend, and dresses better than Brian.
- Uses a cane to walk. Lol crippled.
- Got owned by totse when he flamed various users in one of his fits of aspie rage.
- Has shown to be demonstrably passive-aggressive in his responses to trolls, he will often be completely affable one day, then the next a full blown retard (although most often full blown retard). Tends to suggest he has emotional issues most shut-ins acquire from years of anti-social behavior and neglect.
- His " musician" channel links to keystothestudio.com - a website for "people diagnosed with developmental and intellectual disabilities". Needs investigating...
- It's suspected that Brian's mom loaned him out for medical experimentation when he was a baby to get crack money. Most of the experimental drugs themselves were likely harmless in the long term, but many of them involved injections which contained a mercury preservative, which is a likely cause of his severely stunted mental development. This was only compounded by the excessive exposure to close range microwave tampering which came in the following years of his life, starting at childhood. At this point, due to these combined factors, he is pretty much a brainless meat puppet, unable to process any information beyond the level of an infant.
- Some of his videos feature a faint crinkle noise, or a rustling plastic sound. The reason for this is most likely that Brian was never trained to use the toilet, and even though he's in his mid-20s, he still wears a diaper. When welfare is low, he sometimes just sits on a garbage bag without pants, to preserve the Huggies supply.
- A fan of lolsuits. Has filed DMCA's all over YouTube.
- Sounds remarkably like Jawsus when he speaks.
- Supposedly lost his tooth in a car accident.
- Made claims that he was going to be getting married.
- In a call, he shouted for his
brotherDadhusband and asked him to call the police. Is he gay? - Even TehBigToaster, BodyXPolitic and alexander4488 think he's retarded.
- His "friends" can open a command prompt.
- Has suffered permanent brain damage from his microwave experiments.
- Was kicked out of a Rogers Cable store for being a retard and attempting to troll the sales reps working. Then went onto Daily Motion and bawwed about it, claiming ot to be epic win. Watch it here.
- Is 5'4", 28 years old, unemployed, and lives at home with his mother at 190 Woolner Ave Apt 110, Toronto, Ontario, Postal Code M6N1Y3 in a shared room with his brother. He's a top, who'd have thought?
- Openly
- His real name is Brian "Root" Collinge. His mom's name is Linda, while his brother's is Shawn.
- Is a butthurt faggot that baws about this very article, and creates sock accounts to edit it in his favor.
- In debt and wish he could afford a bike. Saves his jewgolds from his monthly welfare cheque so he can buy one, instead of a much needed dental plan.
- Got butthurt from JewTube user 'RootmomIsComin4u' re-posting his videos and adding in humourous annotations and had them tos'd.
- Is African American.
- Bawwed and decided to set his worthless videos to 'subscribers only' because of all the hate and trolling he received.
- Hangs around in a lesbian bar called "Slacks". See one of his videos of the establishment here. "This predominantly lesbian hangout bypasses grunge in favour of subtle swank, while gently twinkling tea lights add a touch of romance." Is Rootmom a lesbian? Or does Rootbrian fail at picking up chicks? You be the judge.
- Rootbrian tried to ddos youtube but failed. [1]
- Is a pedophile and admits it here.
- His Facebook relationship status is "In a Relationship" (Hand doesn't count amirite?)
- After abusing his Blackberry for months, Brian was surprised that it no longer works.
- Brags about installing a ten year old nVidia tnt2 video card into his piece of shit computer.
- The Game.
- Spends a majority of his welfare money on obsolete computer equipment.
- Roots through the garbage of supermarkets and restaurants for food.
- Cried to the admin of MemeGenerator over major butthurt and had his image taken down.
- Was beaten up constantly on his bus when he was in school. Had to change school buses 24 times in grade 5 because of all the bullies. Even as a little kid, people hated this faggot.
- Kids threw rocks at him because they didn't want him around. Now they throw rocks at him because he's a pedophile.
- Despite being almost 30 years old, has still only ever had one job in his entire life. And he only got that because the manager of Food Basics (a discount grocery chain in Ontario) just hired anyone with a pulse.
- Can be seen loitering around at either the Eaton Centre or the Greyhound Bus Terminal in downtown Toronto to leach off the free wifi
- Both Brian and his brother were in special ed all through school.
- He's a fanboy of reply whore MeganSpeaks from YouTube, talking about Encyclopedia dramatica is full of evil cowards and criminals on her Twitter.
Root Gallery
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Brian Gilbert Collinge, showing off his pedostache. -
No followers, on a Facebook account that has over 1,000 photos and status updates. -
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Fighting for Youtube rights requires a lot of crack cocaine and very little time for sleep. Not to mention a rejection for hygene. -
Pure evil. -
Smoke meth, errrday. -
-
The Rootfag rapes Pikachu. -
Rootfag thinks Justin Bieber is tasty jailbait. -
Rootfaggot wants to suck your cock. -
Brian with his oversized pedo glasses. -
Brian high on meth, getting ready to suck his retarded brother's dick. -
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Rootbrian with the 20 year old video camera he uses to film CP in his mom's apartment. -
Rootfaggot trying to be cool with his dollar store Guy Fawkes mask. -
Rootfaggot showing off his ugly retarded girlfriend. Brian is convinced that she's sexy and beautiful. LOL. -
This is the cockroach infested building that Brian lives in, with his mom and retarded brother. -
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Faces ofMethBrian. You too can look like Rootbrian if you get hooked on meth. -
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Typical response to one of Brian's videos. -
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External Links
- Article about Rootbrian's retard band
- RootbrianRocksAgain His main account, troll PLZ
- Download and mirror some of Rootfaggot's videos and add in some of your own commentary to give him major butthurt.
- rootedlinuxbrian New account but the faggot goblin pedophile still has it as "hidden". The link below leads you to a search result of his videos. Get flagging.
- search results for rootfaggot's videos
- Supposedly his non-posting account
- RootBrians formspring
- Rootfaggot's facebook.
- Rootbrother's facebook
- Rootmom's facebook
- The Rootsister that was spoken of before? Needs investigating
- Poor bastard who shares the name with our beloved crippletroll
Brian's Myspace- Rootfag's White Knight speaks out against ED and the rest of Youtube. Rate it 1 star and flag it for teh lulz.
- Brian on Twitter
- Brian on Viddler RootFag will post all his bawww here
- Brian on DailyMotion Everything he posts is rated 1/5
- Rootbrian on Liveleak
- Rootbrian on Ustream
- Rootbrian's Blogtv account
- Rootbrian's Oxytown account
- Brian's Yahoo live account
- Rootbrian on Cnet
- RootFaggot Spam Pack
- Rootbrian
- so called fagbook trolling account
RootBrian on ED's July downtime
First he was like : "They won't be getting anything this time :D"
And then when ED said "WE DID IT!"
"OH WOW... But it won't last long I presume? Local law enforcement and big brother will be watching those things... That includes the ISP. tisk... lol (I actually just took that screenshot for shits and giggles, since I don't care what happens)"
ED's RUINED MY LIFE!
- (not!) acording to the retarded lolcow.
Commonly Confused With
See Also
- Rootbrian/Twitter
- SONYFANBOY
- Dental Plan
- Dental dam
- Internet Humanitarianism
- Nerd Rage
- Unemployed
- Jawsus
- BodyXPolitic
- Tehbigtoaster
- AbsenceOfTheAbsent
- People who are not Anonymous
- Removing your YouTube videos
- Delusional
- STOP POSTING
- Taking Down ED
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Rootbrian is part of a series on Taking Down ED [Do It Faggot] |
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Rootbrian is part of a series on Aspies. | [Sperg out] |
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| Rootbrian is part of a series on Internet Humanitarianism [Click to Expand] ♘
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| Rootbrian is part of a series on Dying Alone
[] |
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| Featured article May 5, 2009 | ||
| Preceded by Pear Chan |
Rootbrian | Succeeded by Dreamwidth |
| Featured article August 26, 2009 | ||
| Preceded by Liskula Cohen |
Rootbrian | Succeeded by BokuChan |
| Featured article July 14, 2011 | ||
| Preceded by P-p-p-powerbook |
Rootbrian | Succeeded by Harry Potter |
| Featured article 27 & 28 of October 2012 | ||
| Preceded by GayDiamond |
Rootbrian | Succeeded by OhInternet |