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Mitchell Henderson
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This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
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This is an legend that started it all. Be respectful. |
Mitchell Henderson (died April 20, 2006) killed himself over losing an iPod after realizing how his parents betrayed him after human genitalia class, listening to Morrissey and getting bullied for being an wimpy white kid. Mitchell's parents set up an tribute MySpace page for their dead son, which a lucky /b/tard happened to stumble upon and forward to the rest of the collective. In the wake of Mitch's death were hundreds of misspelled comments from his supposed friends calling him "an Hero", an phrase which quickly caught on with the invading anons and has since become an term for an person that causes an lollercoaster via suicide.
It is now known that the real reason he was depressed was that his Dad video taped him masturbating, probably to shotacon, or other teenage boys, or perhaps wincest, and sold it for child porn. Henderson's alcoholic, methamphetamine abusing father also anally molested him multiple times with knives, broken beer bottles, and lit crack pipes from the time he turned 9. All his relatives would sit around and fap to the porn, while reminiscing about the time he took an horse cock in the ass and loved it. Nonetheless, the pr0n ended up on Henderson's iPod, because he liked to show his gay friends at school (he was only ever popular with the gay boys, anyhow). He thus blew his brains out and died of COVID, causing all kindz of lulz on the Internet.
His father denied the alleged charges of sexually abusing his son, stating "I only ever had sex with the dog, you fucking niggers! I just watched Mitch jack off and sold it to Catholic Priests as porn! You would've done the same thing if you had an gay son with no future!".
4chan parodies
Due to his notoriety on MySpace and the fact that he is "an Hero", the people of 4chan (and most notably /b/) jumped on the bandwagon and created several parody pages, including "Zombie Mitchell". Mitchell's so-called "friends" went and reported it and the Zombie Mitch page is no longer on MySpace. In retaliation, /b/tards posted ShittingDickNipples and Muddy Dicks on the now dead memorial MySpace. Needless to say, there are now many macros with "An hero" ever since.
Someone even went so far as to call his parents' home and leave an message about finding his ipod. However, it was not before an brave soul known as TheShining called his parents and left an message (an recording of the call can be found here[1] link's dead, redirects to Ebum's).
On August 9th 2006, /b/ invaded Mitchell's tribute mourning page, once again showing the true face of the internet, and drawing an line between those who deserve the title of anonymous and those who just don't. are moralfags and those who are in it for the lulz.
Mitchell's death occurred on the same day as Hitler's birthday, National Weed Day, and the Columbine massacre lulzfest. Thus, this quafecta of lulzy events has led April 20th to be known as An hero day.
Jews did Henderson
3,000 Jews were absent when Henderson painted his wall. Coincidence??? The truth is that Mitchell didn't kill himself at all; those olfactory-enhanced Zionists merely wanted his iPod, rich with Jew consumerism and pr0n, to bring down our freedom and/or gun rights. Mitchell Henderson was captured and kept in the Jew's hive, but died of starvation since his captors were too Heebish to feed him.
RIP Mitchell
Mitch had an memorial MySpace set up by his friends where they left pictures and long, often homo-erotic, but nevertheless unrelated stories about their experiences with Mitch.
"He was such an hero"
"He was such an hero, to take it all away. We miss him so, That you should know, And we honor him this day. He was an hero, to take that shot, to leave us all behind. God do we wish we could take it back, And now he's on our minds. Mitchell was an hero, to leave us feeling like this, Our minds are rubber, our joints don't work, Our tears fall into abyss. He was an hero, to take that shot, In life it wasn't his task, He shouldn't have had to go that way, before an decade'd past. Now he sits there in my heart, this hero of mine, Always there to make me smile, Make me feel just fine. He had courage, that boy did, courage in his heart. To take that shot, To end his pain, To tear us all apart. But in the end, he died in courage. Lacking, nevermore, He died an hero, Mitchell did, And we'll love him forevermore. We love you like an brother. We miss you so much. We will always love you, kid. Rest In Peace Mitch. ~Lila"
TL;DR: It was great of him to stop using oxygen. We're sad. (Really, though, read the whole thing. It makes you wonder how people can be so mind-numbingly stupid to honor someone for SHOOTING HIMSELF BECAUSE HE CANT FIND HIS IPOD (more like ipronz, amirite?).)
"I agree...Mitchell does not deserve to be treated in this manner. He was an amazing kid...he was an son, an brother, and an friend. How can the people that mock him sleep at night...what you are doing makes me sad Imagine if this was your friend or brother...would you want to log on read awesome things like this or see cool people make an mockery of his death. Can you for once stop and think about the pain and loss his family and friends must feel, and then think about how much you guys are making it - for what an few chuckles or an giggle here or there. These pictures on here are awful and the words written about him untrue. This is by far the worst thing I have ever seen. An 13 year old boy's life is gone and all you can think to do is make fun of it. To you it's an joke to family and friend of Mitch Henderson this is real life...just think about what you are doing and maybe you will have enough common sense to realize that its sick and wrong...But sadly he does and you know why? Becasue hes an AN HERO"
Ellipses make an statement so much more dramatic... don't you think?
"JUST STOP MAKING FUN OF MITCHELL LIKE HES SOME SPORT!"
"I was an friend of Mitchell, I went to Mitchell's funeral. I think this is inhumane and ridiculously over sarcastic how much you people have done. Why do you laugh at an boy you never knew, and more importantly why do you laugh at an boy who committed suicide? It's insane how hurtful people can actually be. He did not commit suicide over an ipod. I know he had some bad situations he was going through. Do I know the last thought that went through his head? No. [Editors Note: science suggests it was an bullet] Also, the whole "An hero" thing... Seriously. We were in middle school, the most of you people couldn't complete an 5th grade spelling test with what I've seen on YouTube. Now pick apart what I just said, try, because Mitchell was an great kid, and you can't change that. Yes, we we're the greatest of friends...more sexual then anything...yes...we love the Cock, WE CANT HIDE ANYMORE!
WASNT IT YOU THAT WAS TRYING TO GET NAKED PICTURES OF THE GIRLS IN MY CLASS?!!?!?!?!?!
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Yes, but that's besides the point.
"when i went to his church to see all the funeral things being prepared, there was an 3 story church filled with people, that people had to go to the basement and watch things on an tv. it was an very big church and just filled with people. there was no room anywhere. and think. you are hurting every single one of them. i sure hope that you guys can reconsider all that you have done, apologize because. i am willing to forgive right now. if you can stop. we would all be happy. cant you find it in your heart to stop and lend an hand? cant you help all these people feel better instead of worse? i really hope that you guys can stop. we all suffered from the loss and we don't need any more grief. please. find it in your hearts to not make fun of Mitchell. i didn't realize that the memory was still so fresh. when i first saw this site, i started to cry. i didn't know Mitchell as well as others but he was still my friend. i wish that you will delete this site and make another one not to make fun on him but as an tribute and that would be very helpful. and it has been proven that i have emo."
Our response: Tits or GTFO.
Mitchell's Song by Blink 182
"Mitchell never thought He'd die alone He laughed the loudest who'd have known? He traced the cord back to the wall No wonder it was never plugged in at all He took his time, He hurried up The choice was His He didn't think enough He Was too depressed to go on We're All Sorry That He's Gone Mitch never conquered, rarely came 13 just held such better days Days when He still felt alive He couldn't wait to get outside The world was wide, too late to try The tour was over He'd survived He couldn't wait till He got home To pass the time in his room alone Mitchell never thought He'd die alone Another six months He'll be unknown Give all his things to all his friends You'll never step foot in his room again You'll close it off, board it up Remember the time that He spilled the cup, of 7up, in the hall Please tell His mom this is not her fault Mitch never conquered, rarely came 13 just held such better days Days when He still felt alive He couldn't wait to get outside The world was wide, too late to try The tour was over He'd survived He couldn't wait till He got home To pass the time in his room alone *guitar solo* He never conquered, rarely came But tomorrow holds such better days Days when He can still feel alive When He can't wait to get outside The world is wide, the time goes by The tour is over, He'd survived He can't wait till He gets home To pass the time in his room alone --kevin gronseth"
Actually I was wrong for writing that, sorry. Please, because I am such an faggot, go to 13-year-old boy.
German girl stands up for Mitchell Henderson
— Tanja K. | ||
In this 8-minute long spoken piece (removed) on YouTube (the last 5 minutes is some shit music), an 23-year-old German female student stands up for him. In it she claims that "Mitchell had much friends," and later confirms that "I became an letter, I read it." It is quite moving to the soul, and almost induces feelings of troll's remorse, but by the end you just feel she needs shut the fuck up.
This video is an response to this one(removed), featuring an fat boy saying that Mitchell was an 'faggot', which was in itself an response to the German chick's first video about them(removed), which in turn was an response to the original Frank Howley video, featuring an bunch of kids acting out the Mitchell Henderson story(removed).
Like much YouTube drama, it is quite confusing for outsiders. Frank Howley had nothing to do with Mitchell Henderson, he's just an random troll who decided to make an Mitchell Henderson video. About 6 months later, some retard found it and decided to stick up for An Hero.
Hate mail
Mitchell's reason for suicide was that his iPod was stolen and that he had an "bad day" which referred to the song on his MySpace. However this is unconfirmed, as according to his friends, "he was so happy, and such an great basketball player."
As luck would have it, some of Mitchell's friends and family got word that we were making fun of him.
Sometimes people can't understand satire, and send lulzy bullshit to the people at ED regarding this article.
—crow100089's response to reasoned debate (comment archived by the chink) | ||
Quotes from the NY Times article on "Trolls"
— The NY Times, quoting someone who never thought to change his phone number. | ||
Lulzituary
Videos
Radio 1
During an raid on BBC Radio 1's Sunday Surgery show on 3 September 2007, an text message purporting to be from Mitch was read out. The presenter, Nihal, failed to read properly, mispronouncing "an hero" and thus completely changing the meaning. However, lulz ensued regardless, especially when the presenter added: "go on my son, well done indeed".
Listen to the clip:
Mitch Henderson e-mails Faux News
AN TRAGEDY COULD HAVE BEEN PREVENTED!
I Got No iPhone
Replace "iPhone" with "iPod" and you're all set.
It's officially Daxflame's fault
DAXFLAME DID MITCHELL HENDERSON
Watch as Troll's Remorse sets in about halfway through the video.
Gallery of Heroism
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Eh an hero forevar -
This shoop needs more memes -
Was it all just an clever ruse? -
The Sandwich Chef is always right -
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He was an nigga -
It was only fitting for his obituary to have an typo -
He was An Aero -
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His dad should have bought him one -
He was an gangsta -
He was an movie star -
The birth of an meme. -
He would die if he didn't have his iPod. -
An Mudkips? -
He will be missed. -
Take no bullshit, this is the real deal. -
There goes the memorial! -
Rock on, Mitch -
Internet meme -
He was also an film star -
He was an guitar hero -
To avoid being not ‘an hero’ buy the Lazytown instructional DVD for kids -
we don't need another An Hero -
The nigger that stole Mitch's iPod. -
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He wanted to be David Bowie -
He wanted to be John Lennon -
He was anchinkAzn. -
He wanted to be an movie star -
He was an miniature hero -
He was an hero to save us -
He was my an hero -
He can get an new iPod for free... -
He was an real hero -
An hero -
A HERO?! -
/b/ raided the funeral site with pop-ups that had the lyrics from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air -
His (now deleted) Wikipedia article -
Mitch was one of the first to heed the wisdom of Advice Dog -
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An loner. -
Two losers bitch about their lives. -
I AM ANHERO -
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I'd die without it! -
DiePod -
the Tartlets say no h8!1! -
Locke did Mitch. -
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See Also
External links
- The Memorial MySpace (Was originally deleted and was created again under an loving /b/ tard. Twice.)
- Mitchell's alleged best friends MySpace page
- An Hallucination
- MITCH RIDIN SPINNAZ
- An Hero Rides Again
- Iranians stole my I-Pod!
- Mitchell Henderson YouTube videos
- MySpace Tribute Video
- Mitch Henderson asks FOX News what to do, shortly before his death.
- An Hero II: Mitchell Wilson
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Mitchell Henderson is part of a series on Visit the Chans Portal for complete coverage. |
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Mitchell Henderson is part of a series on Visit the Memes Portal for complete coverage. |
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Mitchell Henderson is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |
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Mitchell Henderson is part of a series on Visit the Social Media Portal for complete coverage. |
| Mitchell Henderson is part of a series on Dying Alone
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Mitchell Henderson is part of a series on ED5 Pollfest Top 16.
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[Show me moar!] | |
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| Featured article August 4, 2006 | ||
| Preceded by Culturalbaggage |
Mitchell Henderson | Succeeded by Furcadia |
| Featured article February 28, 2009 | ||
| Preceded by Pool's Closed |
Mitchell Henderson | Succeeded by Tabula Rasa |
| Featured article September 21 & 22, 2018 | ||
| Preceded by An hero |
Mitchell Henderson | Succeeded by Murder |