Peter Coffin

Peter Coffin^✡ is a sad failure of a YouTube comedian and a proud beta who earned his fame by kicking himself in the balls on national television, and was later exposed by an Asian blogger/model he was making racist comments toward for roleplaying as his own 18-year-old Japanese girlfriend, which he had been maintaining on various social media accounts by using an army of sock puppets for a solid 15 months.

After quitting the internet for a while, he recently became noteworthy again when he crawled out of obscurity to white knight Zoe Quinn, only to be accused of having an imaginary wife and child this time, one of which is a giant sex toy and the other he posted a fake birth certificate to "prove" was real.

At the moment he's sperging the fuck out on Twitter, trying to take down 8chan, and being stalked by /cow/, which has a user claiming he hired a private investigator who has proof that Peter's wife is in fact a RealDoll. We're currently awaiting final confirmation, but Peter's meltdown is nonetheless nothing short of hilarious.

Peter kicks himself in the balls on TV (literally)

Peter first got his taste of "fame" when he appeared on "Craziest Person in America" to prove he can kick himself in the balls, sparking a life-long addiction to attention. Host Steve Harvey was overheard saying "Wow, this is the stupidest fucking thing ever, in the history of television." unironically, before he made his way to the another set to film Family Feud, The Steve Harvey Show and Madea Goes to Jail .

His pathetic display was so successful that he was invited back to the show to participate in the grand finale where he won "3rd Craziest Person in America" and was later shown on TV a third time on "NBC's Most Outrageous Moments".

Drunk off his 15 minutes of fame and not wanting them to end, Coffin quit his job at the car dealership (allegedly fired) some years later to become a "professional comedian".

Makes up fake girlfriend and kicks own balls figuratively

Peter (as "Kimi") being his usual racist self.

Unfortunately for Peter, no one wanted anything to do with his sad excuse for comedy. So much so that, after two years, his video about him becoming a full-time comedian had gotten less than 1,000 views.

Peter spent his time taking out his bitterness regarding how lonely and filled with failure he had become by stalking Asian models online and making racist jokes about them. Finally he came across Wendy (Xiaxue) Cheng from Singapore and began harassing her and making fun of her nose job until she blocked him. Soon after, a second account of one "Kimi Kobayashi", a Japanese girl living in New York and claiming to be Coffin's 18 year old girlfriend, began sending Xiaxue the same kind of tweets. The story would have ended there, but it turns out that Xiaxue is part-time internet detective who made a post on her blog called "Peter Coffin is a Loser" (archive) utterly destroying him and proving his girlfriend is not real and is in fact a random picture of Korean model Lee Na Young.

But something seemed wrong. After all, she and Coffin had been in a relationship for 15 months and "Kimi" had various, active online accounts. I mean, no one could be pathetic enough to create an entire fake person on the internet and actively engage in a pretend relationship with them for 15 months, right? Wrong! Peter Coffin is that pathetic. Peter's failure was so massive that his name became a trending hashtag in Singapore and was tweeted by internet celebs and famous Asian supermodels alike.

It appears that, since no one wants to listen to a pudgy white guy, and since he can't make racists comments about chinks without being called out on it as a pudgy white guy, Coffin created a teenage, Asian girlfriend for himself with a stereotypical name that was probably inspired by his obsession with Kim Kardashian. Soon the internet was full of articles making fun of him, including a lost article that was on ED.com and ones on places like Gawker and Jezebel (which is funny because they have since aligned themselves with him over GamerGate).

The Kimi Affair About missing Pics

"That model just LOOKS like Kimi!"
"Peter Coffin has a perfect dick" - Kimi Kobayashi
Peter keeps Kimi in line. What a man!
One day Peter will merry himself
Oh Kimi, you so crazy! (and racist)

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Peter uses his fake gf to tell someone else that they are "a loser who can't find a REAL woman"
Peter's jealously attacks Xiaxue
She calmly responds because, unlike him, she isn't a sperglord
Peter asking for it
?????????
OMG so romantic!
Wow, that Kimi sure is racist
Kimi chillin' with some friends
Kimi can't tell Japan apart for Korea and doesn't know which one she's in at any given moment
Kimi is so sexy.
Again, you're in Korea
Japanese girlfriend with giant tits. Peter is a lucky guy!
That's just gross Kimi
Peter using Kimi to vent about being ugly
Kimi is taking a break from twitter but they are still together
Peter disgustingly flirting with himself
More
MOAR
Him and himself are twitter's new power couple
This is just creepy
Pathetic
KIMI IS REAL AND SHE IS SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO HIM!!!!
Jesus fucking christ Kimi hates her own people
Wait, did Peter make this thing?
"plz don't forget I am Asian, okay?" - Kimi
Xiaxue claims the true identity of Kimi is the Loch Ness monster and posts her and Coffin's Skype chats
Is Peter trying to say he can't tell a man's voice apart from that of a woman?
"??????" - Peter Coffin
Peter thinks this is something an actual woman would tweet. Has he ever even talked to one?
Not creepy at all
New level of pathetic reached!
How can anyone believe that this is anything but Peter wanking all over?
A screenshot of his supposed conversation with Kimi taken from his imageshack.
A second screenshot of his hilariously pathetic conversation with Kimi.

Scrambling to do damage control Peter came up with his next failed lie...

"I was catfished!"

"LOL idk ¯\(º_o)/¯"

Realizing people on Reddit were mocking him, Peter made an account to set the record straight, joined the thread and later (allegedly) deleted all his posts when this expectedly failed. But he wasn't done! His next step was to make an AMA, thinking he could either prove Kimi was real or that he himself was the victim of prank.

This failed even harder. The people on the AMA soon began asking him questions that he could not answer like:

Why did he claim to have met Kimi?
Why did he once post claiming she was sitting next to him?
Why did he say that he fucked her?
How come he dated her for more than a year and yet never video-skyped with her?
If she a lived 2 hour flight away from him and was rich (she implied that her rich family provided her with a comfortable lifestyle), how come in the 15 months of their relationship did he never fly out to see her?
Why did Kimi post and act exactly like him?
What the fuck is wrong with you? Did you seriously use your own sock puppet to post that you have a perfect penis?
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL (this isn't a question but most posts were pretty much this)

It would have ended there, as Xiaxue was starting to feel sorry for the sad schmuck, but then he had to go and try to use the AMA to smear her. Xiaxue responded with another blog post where she corrects her previous statement about how long he's been "dating" Kimi (at first she mistook it for 8 months) and poked holes in his lies by providing proof that 1. Someone had already told him that her pictures were fake 2. That "Kimi" deleted her accounts for a few days following the exposure and 3. Peter claimed she simply used those pictures because she looks like that model, implying he'd seen her (he also said he heard her voice on Skype).

The AMA ended in Peter rage quitting yet again and possibly temporarily deleting it.

Redditor asks the hard questions
Peter comes up with the catfish story

"Cease and Desist!"

Learning absolutely nothing, Peter had "his lawyer" send a C&D letter to Xiaxue, demanding that she stop making fun of him online or face a penalty according to Singapore law. However, this email came from an address that had Peter's name in it. So, instead of ceasing and desisting, Xiaxue made another post laughing at what a loser he is called "Peter Coffin is his Own Legal Team" and lol'd at how obviously fake it all was. Not only that, but she had an actual lawyer examine the letter and he found that the law Peter cited was actually a law prohibiting gambling and the content was based on a template Peter found online.

IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAWYER!!!! About missing Pics

The letter pt.2
The letter pt.3
The letter pt.4
The letter pt.5
The letter pt.6

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The letter pt.7
Even her husband joined in to call him a loser
Part two

Feeling pity for the poor faggot, Xiaxue's husband made a post saying he's such a loser that they are going to leave him alone.

Peter invents A THIRD person, harasses random blogger

You would think being exposed twice would teach him not to make fake accounts and not to use those fake accounts to try and harass people, but Peter is virtually retarded and, when some nobody blogger made a post mocking him (archive), he made another sock called "IJust DGAF" (once again complete with various social media accounts to add to the illusion) to argue on his behalf and leave angry comments on people's blogs.

The fake account created a blog called "Rants and Retardicles" that defended Coffin's honor and spammed that blogger's comment section. But this only lead to a SECOND post that drew MORE attention to him and lead to a cycle of spamming her out of rage and deleting his comments to hide his shame. He finally fucked off and she posted a last entry saying he mostly went away but is still stalking her every post in silence.

We be bloggin' About missing Pics

Totaly not Peter
Oh wait, here's proof that it's actually him
Twitter lockdown
His last comment to let her know he's still talking her

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"No one cares about your blog" -Peter
They do now that you're here
Peter calls a site that ran a story on him to complain about her

Following this, Peter called one of the sites that wrote about him, began to literally cry on the phone and then announced that he will be quitting the internet for a while and everyone forgot about the sad loser for a couple of years.

Attack of the Kimi Clones

After he was busted, things got even stranger. Peter appears to have been involved in the creation of two separate Star Wars-oriented, gamer girl Tumblr blogs, named sachious and darthdarling. Both sachious and darthdarling used photos of Kimi Kobayashi (aka. Lee Na Young, the Korean model whose photos were stolen) as their avatars. On her Tumblr, Darthdarling claimed she was called Sachi, and one Tumblr user even tags a response to sachious with darthdarling’s nametag.

This imageshack (archive) belonging to Peter hosts logos and icons which can be found on the now defunct sachious tumblr, as well as some avatars with Kimi and most importantly, what is probably the earliest (and most unflattering) photo of Ashleigh. Worth of note is the fact that darthdarling (and by extension sachious, them being the same fucking person and all) has the same birthday as Ashleigh (see screenhots)... and that Nihileigh (Ashleigh’s Tumblr name) was initially called darthashleigh.

Did Coffin get catfished by Ashleigh, who was pretending to be Kimi? The two girls do share a striking number of suspicious similarities (see the next section for details). Was he so far off the deep edge that he couldn’t give up the fantasy of a hot, Asian gamer girl who adored him? The digging continues.

Ashleigh makes a somewhat suspicious claim that she did something bad for which someone else got blamed, *very publicly*.

If at first you don't succeed, make up a fake wife(?)

After the Kimi fiasco Coffin went AWOL and remained fairly unnoticed for the next few years. He only came into the spotlight once more during GamerGate when he turned from just a regular mangina to a full-on SJW. Yes, Peter was back with more cringe-worthy videos and a hot, new wife. A beautiful, seemingly mentally ill young lady from Scotland that he met at "Susie's Tea Party", married in Vegas and had their ceremonial dinner with at Wendy's before having a seriously deformed looking baby with her. And to top it all off, this one was real!... Or was she? The autistics over at the /cow/ board on ~~Legi0n~~ ~~789chan~~ ~~888chan~~ they're on 8chan now, became suspicious that this one is fake too and may even be a RealDoll.
So began an obsessive campaign to prove if she was real or not.

But she had to be real, right? It sure seemed like it, judging from her multiple, active account, her various pictures and gifs, family members and baby. And yet, many things seems not right. /cow/'s creepy stalking turned up various inconsistencies, such as:

Peter and "Ashleigh" are hardly ever seen in pictures together.
They are never both together with the baby.
When they are, the pictures seem photoshopped.
In a facebook post that was leaked during the Kimi scandal to the blog he was butthurt about, Coffin claims Kimi was a real Asian girl he met in Scotland that was only using a fake picture. Scotland is also where he claims "Ashleigh" is from. Another interesting bit of information is that on her Formspring, Kimi revealed that she underwent jaw corrective surgery when she was younger - Both Peter and Ashleigh mentioned saving money this year for a jaw surgery for Ashleigh (edit: the surgery took place on the 16th of March 2015). Also, Kimi and Ashleigh are both atheists, have a distant relationship with their father (Kimi's father was a rich Japanese businessman who would leave her and her brother at home and go to brothels, while Ashleigh's father is typical Scottish white trash) and have a younger brother (unamed for Kimi, Ronan for Ashleigh). And were both 18 as of April 2011, Ashleigh being born on July 16th 1992.
Her movements in the gifs are static, awkward and limited.
So are her poses.
In one mirror selfie the light reflecting from he phone is too bright and seems to indicate she was looking at the opening screen and not the camera.
The "Mirror" in her selfies has to be huge for its edges not to be in frame.
Another picture of the same area of the house from another angle seems to prove there is no mirror there.
A picture of her was found on a foreign imageboard a few years before Peter claims to have made it.
"Ashleigh" doesn't seem to exists on the internet prior to her relationship with Peter.
Only 4 people with her name were born in he place Peter claims that she is from between 1885 and 2013.
Only one of those 4 matches her age.
Peter's wife's eyes NEVER MOVE
Peter posted a blurry picture of himself holding up her passport to prove that she is real, but the birth date is wrong.
In one of Peter's old videos you see a glimpse of what appears to be a RealDoll laying on his floor.
Her body proportions are unrealistic (huge tits, no hips at all).
In many pictures something is added (heart, flower) covering her hip. Might be an attempt to cover up the unrealistic joint bulge of a doll.
Almost all photos of Ashleigh are grainy and with the mouth covered. It has been demonstrated that it is easy to make the difference between human skin and realdoll skin unclear with the sort of filters being used but their lips are too unrealistic.
In the pictures where her mouth IS visible it doesn't look like she is the same person.
Some (all?) gifs of her are low frame with oddities such as blank frames and identical frames with different filters. This would not occur converting video to gif, and is indicative that Peter is using stop motion animation.
Most pictures without a filter are of a girl's back in a public space. There is nothing in these pictures that indicate they are Ashleigh, and indeed don't look proportionally the same as the "doll" pictures.
There is one video of her holding her baby inside Peter's house that looks like peter in a costume ("she" has a mask on).
Peter responded to these accusations by calling people idiots and then claiming he'll never be baited into responding.
He went on by responding with legal documents that aren't clearly legal documents and then claiming he'll never be baited into responding again.
She always uses the common American spelling of words, rather than the British one.
Her face never changes and eyes seem to be in a fixed spot when she's not moving them in gifs. Indicating it's a doll who's eyes roll back into place and Peter forgets to change her default expression when talking pix.

Now, you might be asking yourself who would go through this much trouble to forge documents and create and army of sock puppets to fabricate an entire relationship with a made up person. But remember, this is the man who once managed a span of fictional accounts to create the illusion that he has a girlfriend for fifteen months, and when he was caught attempted to cover it up using more fake accounts. Since then he has had several years to learn from his mistakes and prepare the ground for his next attempt. This sort of thing may be beyond the scale of patheticness for most people, but perhaps not Peter. After all, Israel Keyes once buried a murder kit somewhere so he could return to use it one day, two years later. Peter Coffin may be as crazy as a serial killer.

In his attempts to prove his wife is real, or at least stop people from trying to find out, Peter has accused /cow/ of being part of GamerGate, declared war on 8chan and joined in a failed mailing campaign to falsely report 8chan for CP. A campaign that ended with Coffin freaking out because he didn't bother to read to ToS to know that CloudFlare tells people who were reported the name and email of those that sent the complaint. He then attempted to prove that the baby is real by posting a picture of what he claimed was the birth certificate. This still didn't prove anything and, while he censored some of his information on it (such as the baby's middle name: Ronan, most likely named after Ashleigh's brother), he left enough of it in so people just doxd the shit out of him for lulz. As for the certificate itself, it appears to be fake. Many things about it don't seem to match what a real certificate should look like and, if Peter indeed faked it, he would have committed a federal offense.

PETER DECLARES WAR ON 8CHAN/COW

Sent fake abuse report
Freaked out about the email
Proof he Stalks his thread
More

So what's really going on here? Is she real? Is she fake? A doll? A real woman? Greencard marriage? Some girl who's pictures he got off the internet? Some combination of all those things? No one knows for sure. But what we do know is that /cow/ is allegedly stalking him IRL at the moment and even if she turns out to be real she is clearly a mentally ill person, similar to the human barbie, who's pictures of a flat stomach when she was 5 months pregnant may explain why the baby is hideously deformed and his eyes are so far apart he may as well be a chameleon.

Until Peter posts a well lit, short video of him, her and the baby together and moving around with their faces visible that will prove they are all real and alive, no one can be certain. However, if he does that we can all have a big laugh at how people spent several weeks making him sperg out by harassing him and his entire family over absolutely nothing.

The Coffspiracy About missing Pics

She's mentally ill, and claims to be suffering from borderline personality and body dysmorphia.
Her pics show up on some Dutch image board before they should according to Coffin
Is that a realdoll on Peter's floor?
Are the gifs stop-motion animation made by Peter?
When this was taken he would have already been married

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Coffin was married to someone for one day but not to this girl.
The accounts of all of his and her relatives were created on almost the same date, 10 years after Facebook became a thing
Leaked facebook post of him talking about "Kimi" in 2011. Also from Scotland?
Is that a doll on the bed behind her?
Photoshop?

Doll Wife Confirmed? (updates pending)

Someone claims to have hired a privet detective to follow Peter around and posted his findings:

FIRST POST

AnonP.I.fag here.

I didn't forget about you. There's so much I have to sift through, but I will be posting a large summary in a new thread in an hour or so and then uploading the docs to mega with a link to download posted "at the ranch."

Peter's situation is funnier and more pathetic than of you can understand.

SECOND POST

Forward:

Because Peter sits in these threads, he is quick to gaslight debunked theories in order to throw new readers off. The intent of this summary is to quickly run down the information I was provided and back up claims with hard evidence. Something Peter can only refute unless he doxes himself to the fullest extent possible. Otherwise, it will always be his whining versus paperwork.

Before I begin, I want you to understand the level of deception I had to enter in order to do this right. I purposely posted a link to a certain P.I. and purposely used a different one, who shall be named later if the P.I. needs to testify against Peter. (Yes, it's that serious.) We have history of mail fraud, wire fraud, felony forgery, malicious mischief, and welfare fraud. Should the doctor want to press charges, Peter could face not years, but decades. (Let that sink in.) To the other anon wanting to hire a P.I., I encourage you to, if only to corroborate the statements made herein.

THIRD POST

THE STORY:

P.I. was able to contact one of Peter's parents and after a lengthy conversation was able to discern that Peter has been Excommunicated from the Church of Latter-Day Saints and is “living in sin” with a couple in Salt Lake City. His brothers are complicit with his retardation.

Braceface is married to a different man, who for the purpose of this summary we'll call “Jim.” Toilet Nigga is hers and Jim's. This is why you only see two pictures of Braceface and Peter together, with her smiling. It also explains the hover-hand on his own wife. It also explains why in the Vine of “Let's go check on the baby” he says that instead of “Let's go see my wife” or “Let's go see my family.” It may well be that the couple is unaware of Peter using the woman and her son as a “stand-in family” for the lack of his own. They may however know he makes “funny videos” on YouTube, but that's the limit.

Through watching the family's movements, it has been discovered that Peter lives in a condo/apartment building and pays rent to a married couple for whom he babysits. The building is Section 8, meaning it's government housing in which rent is based on your income. Section 8 is usually run through non-profits who do not name their tenants. A holding company came up under his address. This is normal. However, this explains why we don't know the couple's real name or their child's.

With the above current information it is reasonable to conclude:

1. Peter has a private bedroom where he films the stop-motions with a Real Doll. 2. He's doing this when he's supposed to be watching the kid. 3. When no one is home, he takes pictures of the doll around the house and most likely keeps it in the closet. 4. He lost his job at the Tim Dahle Nissan when someone linked his boss to his videos and also for probably being a fucking retard. 5. Peter is cucking himself with a doll that looks like the married woman he lives with.

FOURTH POST

Filing a Form 3949-A fraud notice with the Internal Revenue Service put the P.I. in touch with an agent and was able to have information fast tracked to him. Peter has filled “Single” on a 1040-EZ form every year since he started paying taxes when he turned 18. There are at least two years where he didn't make enough money to file for taxes. So, no tax fraud, but a guarantee that he's not married.

There is no record of any Ashleigh Burt/Coffin in any marriage register in Clark County, Nevada. Peter states he filed for a marriage license in Clark County, Utah. However, this is akin to getting your temps when getting a Drivers License. A marriage certificate needs to have two witnesses and a pastoral/ministerial signature to make a document legal. No such document exists.

There is no INS record of any Ashleigh Burt emigrating to the United States. That alone should blow the whole “SHE'S FROM SCOTLAND” theory out of the water.

There is no birth record of any Harrison Ronan Coffin, born May 23rd, 2014 at the University of Utah Hospital in Salt Lake City, Utah in any online or in any print media. The University of Utah also allows the publishing of birth announcements without parental consent, unlike the other four hospitals in the area. So Toilet Nigga, although a real baby, is not his baby.

The birth certificate as well as “Ashleigh's” passports are forgeries. And because Peter has documented their existence, he cannot refute them. Utah Vital Records use a holographic stamp and birth records have to be signed (or stamp signed) with not only the attending nurse, but the doctor who delivered it. From what I understand, the clerk's office contacted the doctor after the P.I. and the clerk's office verified it forged. The doctor was caught unawares. However, this does not mean that this is NOT the doctor that delivered Toilet Nigga. It just means that this is NOT the doctor who delivered the “Harrison Ronan Coffin” baby Peter continues to claim.

Peter does not own a home. Peter drives a hoopty. He has filed for food stamps. Under his filing, he is listed as “Single.” If he was Married, he would report otherwise. This is Welfare Fraud. Peter has filed for Unemployment Benefits. It is unknown if he applied as Single or Married due to federal information guidelines.

Bottom Line: Peter is a poor, unfunny faggot, who spends his time posing a Real Doll and making shitty videos when he should be watching the kid.

FUN FACTS FROM SURVEILLANCE:

Peter left his house 2 in 72 hours. The remainder of his weekend was spent pants-shitting. Peter never went anywhere with his “family.” Braceface and Jim seem like cool people. Braceface does not have huge tits but her teeth could be seen from far away.

SOCIAL MEDIA REVIEW:

His brothers accounts are real. Almost all other extended family on “Ashleigh's” side and his own are his sockpuppets. He has gone through a ridiculous amount of time to “prove” she's real, while conveniently leaving out the fact that his ACTUAL family views him as a pariah and want nothing to do with him.

This also means that if he attempts to set-up a Patreon or Gratipay or GoFundMe for his wife's “jaw surgery”, he will be committing wire fraud as he, by public record and his own federal assistance requests, is NOT married NOR does he have a son.

So, just so we're all clear.

Peter's a nanny. He's also dirt fucking poor. His family hates him. He lives with a nice couple who feel sorry for him and don't know the extent of his psychosis.

The Peter Coffin Story.

FIFTH POST

Unless Peter makes a ridiculous claim stating otherwise with hard evidence, I will match it with my own.

This way he will have no escape.

Also, 10 bucks says "Ashleigh" will be too sick to meet songadayfag.

This will be my last transmission until I am needed again.

disappears into a column of dispersing rats*

At the moment this is not 100% verified (could be a troll lying about hiring a PI to fuck with people). However, if true, it would mean that Peter spent several years maintaining the appearance of a fake marriage using a combination of an unwitting woman and her baby that he was supposed to babysit, various stolen pictures of her from her social media accounts, an army of sock-puppets, his two retarded brothers that have been excommunicated by their parents along with him as accomplices, an array of forged documents and a giant sex toy.

If at First you Fail to Lawyer, Lawyer Again?

Peter is currently majorly buttnuked over recent developments in his story and is now trying to, yet again, make fake legal threats. He recently sent another C&D to the admin of /cow/ however, also similarly to before, the letter is fake. The firm noted in it is a criminal defense firm that doesn't handle civil defamation cases, the content is stolen from a template he found online (the same was true with the Xaixue letter) and the address is a gym. The lawyer cited in it was contacted and confirmed he did not write it, making the letter a federal offense.

Not discouraged, Peter sent a second letter to Hotwheels himself who ignored it and forwarded it back to /cow/ who just laughed at it a second time.

(Peter claims he didn't send the letter. Updates pending)

/cow/ discovers the "Ashleigh" doll model

While these alleged legal emails were being passed around, 8chan discovered what appears to be the origin of Peter's plastic wife. She's an "Alicia 1H" model from a love doll website called Sinthetics, who coincidentally looks exactly like Peter's "wife," has the same bra size as Ashleigh, and even has a similar name. The best part is that aside from the added glasses, she's not even a custom model, just a common shelf whore.

Also worth pointing out is that the Sinthetics catalog features an Asian doll named Kimiko. Yes, as in Kimi Kobayashi.

Play time is over, Peter About missing Pics

Peter's wife must have a twin sister... lots of twin sisters
Peter's wife coincidentally has the same bra size as the doll she's modeled after
Hey look, we found Ashleigh's nudes
The same company who made Peter's doll carries an Asian doll named Kimiko.. .. LOL Kimi Kobayashi
The Alicia 1H model

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The Twitter meltdown continues at an amusingly alarming rate
There's an actual community of doll lovers out there who make stop motion gifs like these in order to animate their "wives"
Sexual attraction to dolls seems to be a common thing with people named Peter

Peter's Theme

See her walking down the street
She's got rubber legs and rubber feet
Rubber head and a rubber nose
She's got a rubber face and rubber toes

Everything's rubber in her land of dreams
Cannabis castles and acid queens
Rubber beds and rubber floors
Rubber pets and rubber doors

His rubber wife wears rubber clothes
And her rubber kids got snotty nose
The rubber bath has got rubber taps
And in the shower are rubber mats

Everything's rubber in his land of dreams.
Been that way since his teens
Rubber women for his treat
Rubber bouncing beneath the sheets

Doctors think he's crazy
Should be locked up soon
In a mental ward off the street in a rubber room
People think he's crazy
Mother thinks he's queer
But nobody fucks around with the rubber buccaneer

See him walking down the street
He's got rubber legs and rubber feet
Rubber head and a rubber nose
He's got a rubber face and rubber toes

Everything's rubber in her land of dreams
Cannabis castles and acid queens
Rubber beds and rubber floors
Rubber pets and rubber doors

People think he's crazy
Mother thinks he's queer
But nobody fucks around with the rubber buccaneer.

|}

Caught making socks again

A few weeks later, while this was all still going on, Peter got into an argument on twitter again about asking for money for his doll wife. Peter stopped arguing pretty fast, but in his place came some random lady to his defense... you can probably guess where this is going.

Again Peter? About missing Pics

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5

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Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11

Yes, she was a sock. Someone checked her account, saw that is was all just pimping out Peter and Peter-style jokes, googled her name and state, found nothing, used a honeypot to grab her IP and find out she was posting from the same state as Peter and not the state she says she's in on her profile and reverse image-searched her avatar to find out it was someone else's picture. Soon after being confronted with this, Peter nuked the account.

Conclusion - The wife is probably real but he still has a sex doll

The video above is a compilation of deleted videos Peter once recorded with an opinionated commentary in between the videos from the author who put it together. These video pre-date SJW Peter, and their context seems to indicate that he finds the feminism movement to be a joke.

But it looks like Peter realized he didn't want to work for a living and be a productive member of society, so he took to being an internet "comedian" instead and used the power of social networking to find his audience. When this didn't work and his unfunny videos weren't enough to pay the bills, he decided to hop on the SJW bandwagon.

Realizing circumstances have provided him with a new and gullible audience, he finally posted the video above, proving this chick is real (albeit possibly crazy as her various accounts would suggest). Shortly after Peter announced that his wife suddenly needed jaw surgery so he can scam his new fans out of money. Nonetheless, none of this explains the fact he still has a sex doll in his house and makes gifs and pictures of her pretending she's his wife.

Another theory is that she's not his wife, but rather some woman who is in on the scam with him. Note how her scottish accent that she had in a previous video is now mysteriously gone.

Videos

For years Peter has been making youtube videos to the blatant indifference of everyone online. None of these videos are in any way funny and so few people watch them that it often takes his "hilarious" videos years to hit 10,000 views. Only recently did people start paying attention to him again when, after being labeled a racist misogynist because of the Kimi thing and due to severe loss of testosterone from years of kicking himself in the balls, he became a social justice warrior. It was at this point that his videos, that were already preachy and unfunny before, became full-on, hilariously inept propaganda when Peter decided to try and hop on the anti-GamerGate bandwagon.

Finally people were laughing at his videos, but for all the wrong reasons. His new audience was enthralled by Peter's displays of poor acting, poor editing and outright autism. The "parodies" contain nothing but Peter talking to himself in front of a green screen, wearing various costumes and doing funny voices because he doesn't have a single friend to make these videos with him.

His pathetic flailing reaches a level of "So bad it's good" and people on various GamerGate sites often gather around to watch them for some comic relief. His biggest hits include "Make it Stop" (which is exactly what people are screaming when they hear his songs), where you can watch his effeminate gestures and girly voice that make it painfully obvious he's in the closet, and a song about his pride in being an unattractive, socially awkward coward called "Beta as Fuck" that he made alongside Jonathan Mann, the guy who wrote a song defending Anita when she got mad that people were comparing her to Jack Thompson. He follows this up with a Family Guy level of tryhard edginess by making a song called "The Pedophile's Guide to Love & Pleasure."

"This should stop people from calling me a beta"

"#MakeItStop"

"hur hur pedophilia is funny"

"Peter being transphobic."

"More of the same"

Previous Video | Next Video

Other Endeavors

Peter is a jack of all trades and has various other (failed) projects.

Radio: Between 2003 and 2006 Peter was a shock-jock at a rock station called WIRX in Benton Harbor (Michigan).
It was not funny.

Videos: Peter has come out with two DVDs that nobody cares about and nobody wants to buy. The first, "The Stupid Show: An American Dream", is clearly a quality production based on the fact its IMDB page has one line of text and no pictures. The second, "Peter Coffin is a Douche", is another comedy abortion and you would sooner find the lost city of Atlantis than you would someone who watched it. To try and drum-up interest, Peter has been inserting himself into Nick Cage movies and trying to pass it off as some hilarious prank. The saddest part is that a couple of wikis list this as Peter's greatest success. And they are correct.

Music: Peter has two, unfunny "rap" albums. The albums are called "Audio Diarrhea" from 2002 and "Feces Statues" from 2003 and according to one site, in the 13 years since they came out they have had less than 1,000 listens.

Game company: It turns out Peter was working on a shitty indie game called "Hipstairs" (because everyone knows all good games are based on stupid puns) with someone named James Hartley. This might explain why he is now trying to suck Zoe Quinn's dick in hopes of using her connections. The game had about half a dozen social media accounts, a "company" they expected to use when making future games but no actual game. In the end they were able to produce less than 30 seconds worth of gameplay footage, never even finished level one and the last update was two years ago. The game was the most generic shit you could ever imagine.

“	HIPSTAIRS: The Way Retro Platformer You Knew Before It Was Cool. Trendy friends trapped in a labyrinth through a portal opened by a cursed vinyl collection in the back room of an indie record store.	„
—HIPSTER AS FUCK

MineCraft Autism: If you've read the rest of this article by now you have probably come to the conclusion that it's safe to assume that Peter is autistic (and that's before I even told you he has a fucking obsession with Sonic). But to truly gauge the scope of his aspieness one must look at his Minecraft creations, which are so extensive they warranted separate pages for both him and his work on a wiki about the "Scotland" server, where he built an entire town he called "Coffinshire" that contains a replica of Jersey Shore.