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Parkland Coffee House Spree

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Dawwww. Low score.

On 29th November 2009, Maurice Clemmons, a baby-raping felon with a heart of gold decided to RAGE at a coffee house just outside of McChord Air Force Base in Washington (more like BAWWshington- amirite?). Four police officers, eating donuts and daydreaming of Jack Bauer before their shift, became his target. He took out two before they knew the round had started. One stood up but froze due to lag, and the last of them managed to return fire and score a hit before he fled the scene.

   
 
Watch the news, I'm gonna kill cops.
 

 
 

— Maurice Clemmons dispensing with subtlety

   
 
Black, with four shots.
 

 
 

an ironic last coffee order


Early Life and Lulz

His cousin Clarence.

Clemmons lived in Marianna, Arkansas in his early youth, and moved to Little Rock as a teen. Clemmons was arrested when he was a junior at Hall High School for carrying a .25-caliber pistol on school property. He claimed to be carrying the gun because he was "beaten by dopers", and said he had "something for them" if they attacked him again. In 1989, a 17-year-old Clemmons and two other accomplices robbed a woman at midnight in the parking lot of a Little Rock hotel bar. Clemmons pretended to have a gun in his pocket and threatened to shoot her if she did not give him her purse. When she responded, "Well, why don't you just shoot?", Clemmons punched her in the head and ran off with the purse, which contained $16 and a credit card.

By 1990, Clemmons was sentenced to 108 years in prison for eight felony charges from his teenage years in Arkansas. The total prison term stemmed from multiple sentences, some of which were concurrent to others and some were consecutive. The largest sentencing came in 1990, when he was given a 60-year prison term for breaking into an Arkansas state trooper's home and stealing about $6,700-worth of items, including a gun. During his sentencing on the charges, a circuit judge told Clemmons that he had broken his mother's heart, to which Clemmons responded, "I I DID IT FOR THE LULZ." Clemmons was also sentenced in 1989 to 35 years in prison for robbing that bitch in front of that Little Rock hotel bar. Among his other sentencings were six years for weapon possession based on his high school arrest; and eight years for burglary, theft and probation in Pulaski County on September 9, 1989. Clemmons was not to be eligible for parole until 2015 or later...

   
 
This guy should have never been on the street. Our elected officials need to find out why these people are out.
 

 
 

—Brian D. Wurts, president of the Lakewood police union.

So how did this maniac find his way back to the streets after being sentenced to over 100 years in prison?.. Enter fundie Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee

I <3 HUCKABEE, and killing

Maurice Clemmons is my homeboy.
props to my man, Hucks.

In 1999, after having served 10 years of his sentence, Clemmons filed a clemency appeal with Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee. In his petition to Huckabee, Clemmons wrote he came from "a very good Christian family" and was "raised much better than my actions speak". Clemmons claimed he "had just moved from Seattle, Washington, to Arkansas as a teenager, and because he had no friends he got in one little fight and his mom got scared And said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air' " Although Clemmons apologized for his actions, he also complained that he received overly harsh sentences. He also claimed to have changed and expressed regret that his mother had recently died without seeing him turn his life around. Clemmons' clemency application was supported by both Huckabee and Pulaski County Circuit Court Judge Marion Humphrey, who argued the cumulative sentence was excessive and cited Clemmons' young age at the time he committed the crimes- completely ignoring the fact Clemmons was claiming to be from Washington, even while holding the police record stating his place of birth as Arkansas

The decision was made over the objections of victims and prosecutors involved in Clemmons' previous cases. Mark Fraiser, an attorney who prosecuted early cases against Clemmons in Pulaksi County, argued Clemmons was extremely likely to commit further acts of violence in the future, and said for a teen to receive such a lengthy prison sentence without committing a murder, "you've got to be a bad little dude".

Against the wishes of his prior victim's families, and pussy jew lawyers- the Huckanator commuted Clemmons' 108-year sentence to 47 years, 5 months and 19 days, which made him eligible for parole that day.

Wishing to make good on his promises to turn over a new leaf, Clemmons promptly violated parole by committing aggravated robbery and theft again in Ouachita County. He was convicted on July 13, 2001 and sentenced to 10 years in prison. Clemmons also faced charges of parole violations, but due to problems with the case, he was not served with the charges until 2004. His attorney argued the parole violation charges should be dropped because so much time had passed, and they were subsequently dismissed. Clemmons was granted parole on the robbery charges in 2004. He told the parole board he was "not ready" the first time he was released, but that he 'doesn't want to die in prison' and will "try to do the right thing".

Following his parole in 2004, Clemmons had no arrests or problems with the law until May 2009. On May 9, a Pierce County sheriff's deputy responded to Clemmons' home after reports he was throwing rocks at houses, cars and people. When the deputy tried to enter the house, one of Clemmons' cousins grabbed his wrist. After a struggle, Clemmons emerged from the house and punched the deputy in the face, and assaulted a second deputy who arrived to help. Clemmons was placed under arrest and taken to Pierce County Jail, where he continued to struggle and told jail workers, "I'll kill all you bitches." Clemmons was charged with two felony assault charges and two felony malicious mischief charges, and released from jail the next day after posting a $40,000 bail bond without seeing a judge.

Oh lawd, is dat sum racial profiling?

The Seattle Times reports raised concerns over possible racial profiling in the manhunt that followed the killings.

   
 
I feel sorry for every husky black male with a mole on his face.
 

 
 

— State trooper Cliff Pratt

   
 
I would caution them to be very careful and only travel when necessary.
 

 
 

— Oscar Eason, Jr. gives travel advice for black men with facial moles.

Scumbag Family

His 'network of people' who helped to hide him should be dragged through the streets, or at least roundly trolled. Nicole Cheryleen Smith, his wife, is suspected of helping him escape, as are other members of his family. Fake tips meant to mislead the police have lead to the silly nigger bleeding to death. And nothing of value was lost.

Media Coverage

   
 
There are two suspects, one male and one black male.
 

 
 

Fox News, getting it wrong again.


See also


Parkland Coffee House Spree is part of a series on Are You Ready? [GAME OVERInsert Coin] Go!
Single Player Elite Hall of Fame

Adam LanzaAnders Behring BreivikAndrew KehoeAriana Grande MassacreBaruch GoldsteinBrenton TarrantCampo Elías DelgadoCho Seung-HuiDevin Patrick KelleyDong YanglingGabriel WortmanJack Gilbert GrahamJakrapanth ThommaJames HubertyLuby's massacreMartin BryantMutsuo ToiNice Truck Attack 2016Omar MateenPanya KhamrabPatrick CrusiusReina Nightclub MassacreSalvador RamosShinji AobaStephen PaddockTed BundyVladislav RoslyakovWilliam UnekWoo Bum-kon

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Multiplayer Co-Op Mode

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Parkland Coffee House Spree is part of a series on Psychopaths
[It rubs the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose againOpen the box]
Spree/One-time Killers:

Aaron AlexisAdam LanzaAlex HribalAlyssa BustamanteAnthony WarnerAudrey HaleBruce Jeffrey PardoCasey AnthonyCho Seung-HuiDevin Patrick KelleyDylan KleboldDylann Storm RoofEric HarrisGerry McCannJames HolmesJared Lee LoughnerJason RodriguezJeff WeiseJiverly Voong Joe StackJosef FritzlLaaiti EkenstéenMark EssexMartin BryantMatthew de GroodMatthew MurrayMatti SaariMaurice ClemmonsPekka-Eric AuvinenRaoul MoatRichard SpeckRobert HawkinsStephen PaddockTim KretschmerTimothy HendronTJ LaneTyler PetersonWade Michael PageWoo Bum-kon

Career/Serial Killers:

Academy ManiacsAdolf HitlerCharles MansonChris BenoitDnepropetrovsk ManiacsDubyaJack the RipperJeffrey DahmerMao ZedongRichard "The Iceman" KuklinskiTed Bundy

Terrorists:

Al QaedaAnders Behring BreivikAnderson Lee AldrichAnton Lundin PetterssonDzhokhar TsarnaevElliot RodgerGeorge SodiniManiacs Murder CultMark EssexNidal Malik HasanOsama bin LadenTamerlan TsarnaevTed Kaczynski

See also:

Antisocial personality disorderJewsMurderParanoid personality disorderPittsburgh Paint JobPolice BrutalitySick fuck

[Stop shooting!Pull the trigger]
Parkland Coffee House Spree is part of a series on Gun Control
Locus in quo:

Abilene Alleyway Shooting 🔫 Capital Gazette Shooting 🔫 Chris Dorner 🔫 Christchurch mosque attacks 🔫 Colorado Theatre Shooting 🔫 David Long 🔫 Dayton shooting 🔫 El Paso Walmart Shooting 🔫 Elliot Rodger 🔫 Gilroy Garlic Festival Shooting 🔫 Jacksonville Shooting 🔫 Kyle Rittenhouse 🔫 Marjory Stoneman Douglas School Shooting 🔫 Pulse Nightclub Massacre 🔫 Randy Stair 🔫 San Bernardino shooting 🔫 Sandniggers in Paris 🔫 Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre 🔫 Santa Fe High School Shooting 🔫 Shoahdown at the Synagogue of Doom 🔫 Las Vegas shooting 🔫 Texas church shooting 🔫 Umpqua Community College Shooting 🔫 Virginia Beach Shooting 🔫 Washington Navy Yard shooting 🔫 Youtube shooting 🔫

Supporters

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Main ideas:

Assault Rifle 🔫 Gun 🔫 Gun Control 🔫 Murder 🔫 Arson 🔫 Bombs 🔫 Mass Shooting 🔫 School Shooting 🔫

Haters gonna hate:

Daisy Hogg 🔫 Killers 🔫 Republicans

Acts of revenge:

Boston Marathon Bombing 🔫 Sandniggers in Paris 🔫 Ariana Grande Massacre 🔫 London Bridge Attack 2017 🔫 Capital Gazette Shooting

Objectors:

Charlton Heston 🔫 James Holmes 🔫 NRA 🔫 Osama Bin Laden 🔫 Republicans 🔫 People planning a massacre 🔫

Pre-2012 Gun Massacres

Columbine 🔫 École Polytechnique 🔫 Dawson College 🔫 Virginia Tech Massacre 🔫 Austin, Texas 🔫 NIU Valentine's Day Massacre 🔫 Hungerford Massacre 🔫 Anders Breivik

[WatermelonsFried Chicken]
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