America's Third Party

Nobody has heard of this person, but whoever they are, vandalizing this article only makes us want to learn more...

America's Third Party is the manifestation of the midlife crisis of the racist, closeted-homosexual, chronically-unemployed, narcissistic David Jon Sponheim.

Stand aside, Obama.

After David realized what a pointless life of failure he's lived in his parent's van eating out of the trash, he now desires to redeem himself by running for the office of president of the United States, with his unshaven lover Sarah L. Hart as his vice-presidential candidate. Spending 100 years of running a presidential campaign on internet camsites with a poor copy of Alex Jones, their party still consists of only these two members and the occasional moral support of a few literal retards.

A True Founding Father

A vote for David is a vote for Timmy

David's beautiful companion

During a certain period in America parents were encouraged to tell their worthless children that they could grow up to be whatever they wanted, regardless of actual skill and aptitude.

Children during this time were raised as though they were a special snowflake, and carried that mentality into adulthood, and whether win or lose they'd still be someone important.

What could possibly go wrong?

After spending his entire life not studying politics, David Jon Sponheim put together a political party that speaks to the people - all 54 of them on facebook. You can find David rocking the vote with black facepaint reminding everyone that all of America's problems are to blame on the president being a nigger. But remember, he's not a racist, hes an American!!

The Campaign

David Jon Sponheim spends all of his time in his dead parents' house, extracting rent from his substitute teacher girlfriend, the house's breadwinner. Instead of getting a job or doing any actual campaign work, he spends his time watching Alex Jones and believing in every stupid conspiracy theory he can get his hands on, to blame society for his lack of self confidence. His online show, er "campaign", consists of him playing the same seven conspiracy videos, patronizing mentally retarded faggots who will tell him he is awesome, doing shitty impressions of presidents and other famous people, or raging and banning anybody who has any disagreement with him whatsoever.

Gallery

David's proof that he is in fact American Bwahhh More glam shots!

See Also

• Buttmad
• Trying too hard
• Narcissistic Personality Disorder
• Victim Complex
  

External Links

• ATP on Vaughnlive
• http://www.americasthirdparty.com/
• http://www.davidsponheim.com/
•  davidjonsponheim
•  ThirdParty

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