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Progah

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This person is a sick fuck!

They should never be trusted by anyone!

Possible side-effects will include at least one of these:

  1. HIV/AIDS
  2. Bestiality
  3. Cuckoldry

The subject of this article is a virgin with rage.

Carlo Mauro Salvatici
Born circa. 2000 (age 25)
Nationality Americunt
Race Marionigger
From Queens, New York
Lives Los Angeles, California
Height / Weight 5'-09" / 180 lbs (26.6 BMI)
Diagnosis Megalomania
Nice pillow fgt.

Progah (aka @Societyman123) (powerword: Carlo Mauro Salvatici) is a homeless vlogger, incel, sk8ter, skript kiddie and urban explorer who lives in his car and rants about women and society. Formerly living with his parents, Progah's homeless saga began with his parents kicking him out for being useless and/or a closet furry, after which Progah tried to make it up as though he chose the homeless lifestyle to go urban exploring but still reminisces on his youth that was absorbed by playing Minecraft. Being a sexless incel, he has pondered on various alternative ways he could finish his love quest, including becoming bisexual, downloading Grindr, bestiality and pedophilia. Its honestly hard to tell whether this guy is genuine or just a rage-baiter or if it is a fine mixture of both. Even if this guy does find a butt-buddy that isn't his body pillow, it is still highly unlikely that he will be satisfied because monogamy is just below him and he believes the entire world is pinned against him because society won't live up to his wildly unrealistic expectations. Additionally, he is constantly talking about how he wants to kill people, go to prison or become a terrorist, so make sure to check out the High Score page once in a while incase his name shows up on the list.

YouTube activity

Progah wishes the world was a 2B2T server.
Strolling away from the police like a badass. Will he finally fulfill his dream of being arrested? Stay tuned to find out!
This is what Progah's Beta Uprising is going to look like.

Social media sperging

Living arrangement

After daddy kicked him out for being a useless shit, he made the move to LA, but since this is LA we're talking about he ended up as just another homeless vagrant like 99% of the population in this forsaken city. But due to daddy's economic support, at least initially, he got to live out his lifestyle in his very own car. Ever since the tugboat stopped arriving though, evidence suggests that Progah started selling his body for cash because he's just too intelligent to get a real job and would rather code some aspie shit on Python or jerk it to loli porn and defend the most egregious sex crimes imaginable all day.

His car is his all-purpose portable domicile. He does everything from sleep, eat, game, and repeat from within there. He also cooks in there on a portable steam fryer. The interior is an absolute mess of junk and jizz-encrusted furnishings. The backseats are where he sleeps and is where he keeps his loli-fur body pillow. The exterior is decorated with anime girl stickers and the windows are boarded up with cardboard adorned with anime girl posters. It's like some sort of degenerate zombie apocalypse bunker/Mad Max vehicle.

Daddy issues

Dear mommy and daddy, FACK YOU!
You can just see the EEeeeEEEvil in his eyes.

Progah hates his parents because he is still bitter about them making him leave, so much so that he feels the need to facedox them so that his zero fans can see the pure evil that radiate from their eyes. The image to the right is courtesy of Progah himself, visually emphasizing his point in a video about how his father is abusive- or rather why he is spiteful of his father for not coddling him and letting him play Minecraft all day long.[2] Progah's resentment for his father further grew when he decided to cut off his tugboat money. And just when he was finally beginning to be a little bit happy for once too, although this conflicts with his statements that he's been utterly miserable for the better part of 10 years. Truth is that he will never be happy because he's too much of a lunatic, histrionic manchild.

With a little e-detective work, one can determine that the true identity of his father, however, is Silvano Salvatici, of Whitestone, New York.[3]

Run-ins with the law

Carlo's first known arrest occurred on the 29th of May 2024. He was charged for assault with a deadly weapon using force likely to produce great bodily injury.[4]

On Feb. 10, 2025, he was arrested and charged with resisting arrest. Also, somehow he grew an additional 2 inches since his last arrest.[5] Carlo was just minding his own business riding his skateboard down the highway and throwing it at passing vehicles when suddenly a piggy noticed him and pursued him in a slow-speed chase. The officers attempted to detain him, but a majestic beast like Carlo Salvatici cannot be easily contained, and so he resisted. By the time he was put in handcuffs, one officer apparently sustained minor injuries.[6] But there's more! Being the attention whore Carlo is, he recorded himself riding away from the pigs while they blasted their sirens and managed to upload it to YouTube just in time before the pigs beat his ass.

They gonna catch me riding dirty

The future

The future for Progah is very bleak. There are only a few possible outcomes for him, and neither are pretty; neither especially do any of them ever result in him finding nonsuperficial happiness.

  1. He becomes an hero, but instead of attention whoring by saying that he's going to do it online, he actually does do it. He commits suicide via carbon monoxide poisoning and nobody remembers him, not even his family members. Seriously- his decomposing corpse will be melting into his seat before someone finally reports a funny smell coming from his car several months later.
  2. He becomes a repeat offender for things like assault, harassment, loitering and child porn possession. He barely gets to see the world outside of prison, where he inevitably hangs himself.
  3. He becomes a disciple of Elliot Rodger, but the only person he manages to kill is himself. Maybe at most he will injure a few others in the single digits. Not even columbine fangirls will swoon over him; at best he might receive a Golden iPod assuming his pathetic attack is even enough to break the news.

See also

Son, I am disappoint.

Progah's Profiles

References


Progah is part of a series on Dying Alone

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