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{{ibrow|'''An Hero?'''|No, not yet at least.}}
{{ibrow|'''An Hero?'''|No, not yet at least.}}
{{Ibend}}
{{Ibend}}
'''vypre7''', also known as '''UnknownMark.exe''' and formerly known as '''MrCrazyBolt5150''' (Powerword: Gordon Darby), is the most miserable [[neckbeard]] to ever come out of the middle of nowhere [[Arizona]]. His tale of [[Manchild|neuroticy]] is one of [[China|plagiarism]], [[LoveShy|sexual deviancy]], [[Dying Alone|depression]], [[Reddit]] nonsense, a [[Brittany Venti|failed streaming career]], and a major [[want]] for [[90 Day Jane|self-removal]] despite several [[You fail it|failed attempts]], earning himself the definitive title of "Arizona [[Doomer]]". With this very page, it is expected that things are gonna get much, much [[Oh noes|worse]] for him, while we fine folk at [[ED]] can only observe from the sidelines, [[ROFL|pointin' n' laughin']] at his [[lulzy]] [[Tard rage|cryin' n' ragin']].
'''vypre7''', also known as '''bigjigglyham''', '''UnknownMark.exe''', and formerly known as '''MrCrazyBolt5150''' (Powerword: Gordon Darby), is the most miserable [[neckbeard]] to ever come out of the middle of nowhere [[Arizona]]. His tale of [[Manchild|neuroticy]] is one of [[China|plagiarism]], [[LoveShy|sexual deviancy]], [[Dying Alone|depression]], [[Reddit]] nonsense, a [[Brittany Venti|failed streaming career]], and a major [[want]] for [[90 Day Jane|self-removal]] despite several [[You fail it|failed attempts]], earning himself the definitive title of "Arizona [[Doomer]]". With this very page, it is expected that things are gonna get much, much [[Oh noes|worse]] for him, while we fine folk at [[ED]] can only observe from the sidelines, [[ROFL|pointin' n' laughin']] at his [[lulzy]] [[Tard rage|cryin' n' ragin']].


Gordon, if you happen to stumble across this article, we would like you to know that [[everything]] you do is absolutely pointless, and as soon as you process every bit of information on this article without reluctance, you should, by now, develop the [[Balls|testicular grapefruits]] to [[DO IT FAGGOT|remove yourself]] from this plane of existence successfully.  
Gordon, if you happen to stumble across this article, we would like you to know that [[everything]] you do is absolutely pointless, and as soon as you process every bit of information on this article without reluctance, you should, by now, develop the [[Balls|testicular grapefruits]] to [[DO IT FAGGOT|remove yourself]] from this plane of existence successfully.  
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{{frame|
{{frame|
{{videoframe|Darbybarbiescrap|font-weight: bold;|
{{videoframe|Darbybarbiescrap|font-weight: bold;|
|<youtube>LBhiNreUc8Y</youtube>
;bigjigglybutthole's promo for his (now-abandoned) JewTube.
|<youtube>53tm2wWQTaU</youtube>
|<youtube>53tm2wWQTaU</youtube>
;[[Tiktok|Tiktokthiccthot]] shit.
;[[Tiktok|Tiktokthiccthot]] shit.
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== External Links ==
== External Links ==
*{{yt|c|UCk-Q-Px51q7gXt4eEpmZeDg|YouTube}}
*{{instagram|markinsta32.dll|Instagram}}
*{{instagram|markinsta32.dll|Instagram}}
*{{reddituser|vypre7|Reddit}}
*{{reddituser|vypre7|Reddit}}
*{{tiktok|vypre_7|Tiktok}}
*{{tiktok|vypre_7|Tiktok}}
*{{twitter|vypre7|Twitter/X}}
*{{twitter|vypre7|Twitter/X}}
*<s>{{steamid|ISA_MARK_80486DX4|Steam}}</s> (gone)
*[https://spacehey.com/profile?id=2131544 '''Knockoff-Myspace''']
*[https://spacehey.com/profile?id=2131544 Knockoff-Myspace]
*[https://www.pillowfort.social/bigjigglyham '''Pillowfort''']
*[https://bsky.app/profile/bigjigglyham.bsky.social '''Bluesky''']
*{{wayback|https://www.youtube.com/user/mrcrazybolt5150|20161115233432|title=Baleeted Youtube Channel}}
*{{wayback|https://www.youtube.com/user/mrcrazybolt5150|20161115233432|title=Baleeted Youtube Channel}}
*{{yt|c|UCk-Q-Px51q7gXt4eEpmZeDg|First abandoned YouTube}}
*{{yt|@|unknownmarkexe|Second abandoned YouTube}}
*{{twitter|MrCrazyBolt5150|First abandoned Twitter}}
*{{twitter|MrCrazyBolt5150|First abandoned Twitter}}
*{{twitter|snoopythe3rd|Second abandoned Twitter}}
*{{twitter|snoopythe3rd|Second abandoned Twitter}}
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*{{instagram|mrcrazybolt5150|Old Instagrahamcrackers (Inactive)}}
*{{instagram|mrcrazybolt5150|Old Instagrahamcrackers (Inactive)}}
*{{askfm|MrCrazyBolt5150|Ask.fm (Inactive)}}
*{{askfm|MrCrazyBolt5150|Ask.fm (Inactive)}}
*<s>{{steamid|ISA_MARK_80486DX4|Steam}}</s> (gone)
*{{steamgroup|shadowzoneentertainment|Abandoned Steam Group for his shitty error series}}
*{{steamgroup|shadowzoneentertainment|Abandoned Steam Group for his shitty error series}}
*[https://www.twitlonger.com/show/n_1srpo9g Twitlonger post from his fat ex. Basically a final "fuck you" to him.]
*[https://www.twitlonger.com/show/n_1srpo9g Twitlonger post from his fat ex. Basically a final "fuck you" to him.]

Latest revision as of 21:02, 22 October 2024

Find an iPod?

This page is about an attempted an hero.



Anyone up for a round of the crying game?

Vypre7 is actually a tranny.

     Enjoy your cock!   8====D (_(__)


The subject of this article is a virgin with rage.


Gordon Darby
Born Oct 3, 1997
Nationality Americunt
Ethnicity The Master Race
Gender Male Furry Shemale
Sexuality "Pansexual"
Occupation NEET
An Hero? No, not yet at least.

vypre7, also known as bigjigglyham, UnknownMark.exe, and formerly known as MrCrazyBolt5150 (Powerword: Gordon Darby), is the most miserable neckbeard to ever come out of the middle of nowhere Arizona. His tale of neuroticy is one of plagiarism, sexual deviancy, depression, Reddit nonsense, a failed streaming career, and a major want for self-removal despite several failed attempts, earning himself the definitive title of "Arizona Doomer". With this very page, it is expected that things are gonna get much, much worse for him, while we fine folk at ED can only observe from the sidelines, pointin' n' laughin' at his lulzy cryin' n' ragin'.

Gordon, if you happen to stumble across this article, we would like you to know that everything you do is absolutely pointless, and as soon as you process every bit of information on this article without reluctance, you should, by now, develop the testicular grapefruits to remove yourself from this plane of existence successfully.

Gordon wants to be like the cool kids!

Gordon at Level 1, with his dead faggot father.

Once upon a time, baby Gordon discovers the magical world of teh internets. Days later, he might've stumbled onto baby's first porn site, baby's first desktop stripper, baby's first erotic MMORPG, baby's first toxic online forum, and baby's first illegal downloading site, purging him of his childhood innocence and marking the first step towards the life of a crusty basement-dwelling goblin; minus the basement, of course, since he lives in a trailer park.

Gordon, now wanting to be like the big boys, started creating his first social media accounts around 2009. Life just went downhill from there for the Arizona Doomer, and in 2014, his faggot father went 'n croaked, throwing Gordon into his crybaby emo phase and making him lose the will to live over the fact that he'll never have his tickly ass and hairy balls rubbed by daddy's wrinkled hands ever again.

Gordon met Blade (Powerword Unknown), his childhood friend, for the first time during middle school. Based on Blade's IIRC, Gordon wasn't nearly as neurotic back then as he is now, but he still did flip his shit from time to time when even the slightest things didn't go how he wanted, and each time he did, the entire class had to walk laps around the school campus like a fucking hivemind until he settled down. One particularly lulzy incident was when Blade tried to get him to stop bawwwing and, out of nowhere, Gordon shouted "IT'S CROTCH KICKING TIME!!!" and began furiously flailing his legs like a pants-shitting toddler in an attempt to kick Blade's peenal area, which Blade managed to evade because of fucking course! Every single freakout after that wasn't as lulzy, and sadly, no known incidents have been recorded and posted on the internets.

Youtuber history

Babby's first Jewtube channel.
Comparison between Bolt and "Dark Bolt"; They look as different as Vietnamese people.

He started Youtube around 2009 under the name Greenlion346, where he posted shitty gaming videos with his crappy Wal-Mart computer mic and a pirated copy of Fraps. Much like sexually confused 16-year-old girls with autism up the ass, he had gone through two different name changes later in his time on youtube, the first being Boltage14, before changing to his more well-known moniker MrCrazyBolt5150. During his time with the CrazyBolt name, he began shitting out unfunny, butthurt-induced Microsoft Sam videos, which, despite their lack of humorous quality, somehow managed to gain him some (undeserved) popularity, such as a following amongst neurotic kids in the Logo Editing circlejerk who constantly made fun of him, initiating step two of shaping Gordon into who he is today.

Gordon named his channel after Daxter5150, an obscure Youtube group that, back in the day, specialized in content that was obviously way better than his, which he liked and frequently tried to plagiarize because he had severe ecolalia. He was friends with two of the channel's members, Jose and Shel (the latter was not part of the group at the time), who were members of a circlejerk called "The Ohana", which Gordon eventually weaseled himself into about a year before Daddy Darby's death.



Gordon after trying to stick his hand is some SNCA drama.

When Gordon was not making shitty MS Sam, rants, or gaming videos, he made crappy GoAnimate grounded vids out of users who hurt his feelings OTI. A majority of these users were dumbass kids from the Logo Editing fandom, despite Gordon not having been a Logotard himself. One kid by the name of Seth Stewart managed to piss him off so hard (just by threatening to kill him in his sleep and cut his penis off in a Skype voice message) that Gordon dedicated several episodes of his shitty Microsoft Sam series to attacking Seth. Gordon, being Gordon, naturally had it out for Seth, making it increasingly difficult to let go of his hateboner for him and come up with new villains for a fucking change. The characters he used for antags around this time included Hank Hill, Satan from PuyoPuyo, Bebe's Kids (because of course Gordon would hate baby shows), some ex-miiwhore named Ari, and an "evil" version of himself called Dark Bolt. Blade even offered his own OCs, Julius and Barin, as antags to keep Gordoneckbeard from using a childhood bully (ORLY?), but as usual, Gordonigger thought his idea was gay and quickly went back to having Seth be the antagonist because letting go of a grudge is apparently an alien concept to him. Legend says that Gordon is still butthurt, but Seth, on the other hand, has probably forgotten all about him by now.

After his failed attempt at committing nonexist in 2019, he Deleted fucking everything. His shitty series was no longer plaguing the Jewtubes, his social media accounts were sent to oblivion, and best of all, his discord was breached and cleared by an anonymous benefactor. Almost a year later, he shows up again under a third rebranding "snoopythe3rd" (more like PoopyTheTurd LOL), which was quickly abandoned after the rest of the Ohana (then renamed to the Peenie Weenie club) broke off, at which point he ditched Youtube completely in favor of a streaming service called Kick (also known as Po' Man's Twitch) and began using his present dual monikers "UnknownMark.exe" and "vypre7" as well as changing his powerword to "Mark Gustavsson", deadnaming his old powerword like an abused Troonager in a strict Muslim household.


bigjigglybutthole's promo for his (now-abandoned) JewTube.

Instajews shit.


The Ohana

PROOF: Gordon is a computer genius!

The Ohana originally started as a collective on DeviantART sometime after the supposed end of the world. As you'd expect, it was a group of autists and Tartlets who were glued together by one mutual interest: FUCKING NINTENDO! Two of its members, Jose and Shel, who were both dumb enough to be friends with this neckbeard, decided to include him in the Ohana orgyparty. During his time there, he acted like he was the king of the fucking world, frequently berating and shunning away the male members and making creepy advances towards the females because we all know Gordon is into GOTIS bitches and only joined the Ohana to get himself some hairy, smelly, gamer girl pussy, aside from OWNING NEWBZ and angrily berating his fellow Ohana congregates in TF2 and Super Smash Bros. There was also an incident where he called his friends a bunch of niggers in a fit of tard rage after trying to install Linux on his Windows-based Battlestation like a complete dumbass because HEZ A CUMPYEWTOR GEENEEUZ LOLZORZ!

Tartlet's depiction of how Gordon throws a temper tantrum.

He eventually got involved in a Polyamorous relationship with Shel and a few other members of this collective, who he also recruited as part of a writing team for Seasons 7-8 of his shitty Error series ("team" is an overstatement, as their ideas were never used because Boltybitch wanted things his way). He frequently abused the fuck out of this relationship, the reasons being that there were other dudes involved (ew), and because he wanted to hog the females all to himself so he could fulfill his fantasies of becoming an IRL harem ANIMAY protag. His long string of bullshit eventually caused this relationship to crumble down like the WTC thanks to the jews, marking the final step towards him attaining doomer status.


   
 
I'm done. I'm leaving this godforsaken existence. Fuck all of you.
 

 
 

—Gordon's last post on his DeviantShit


Accurate depiction of Boltybaby being miserable as usual.

Back in the yesterday time of 2019, Shel (accidentally) sent a long-ass message to Gordon calling him a Grade-A faggot, making him so depressed that he decided to attempt an hero for the first time. Literally every single faggot in the Ohana became alerted to his wanting to die, and soon his efforts were thwarted. He spent the next three days trapped inside a padded cell in a straitjacket (with his disgusting ass exposed so the orderlies can easily "treat" him) in a happy home, deprived of internet and chicken nuggets. He was eventually let go after being told by the staff to grow the fuck up, which he obviously didn't take note of because advice is gay.

The Ohana eventually turned into a Republicans-versus-Democrats-type situation. Jose, Shel, G, and Blade had the common sense to ditch the Ohana and distance themselves, while Anna, Kodi, "Best" Rob, Milo, and Damon stayed together because they're the kinds of autists who easily forgive.

Peenie Weenie Club

The successor to the Ohana, and what was initially intended to be some crappy podcast. Founded by Gordon and his ass-kisser Blazi, they included some members of the broken Ohana, while Kodi, "Best" Rob, and Damon chose to stay on the sidelines, obviously knowing better than to make contact with Gordon but at the same time not wanting to hurt the delicate feelings of the gullible friends who took pity on him.

This predictably didn't last long, and soon, the Weenies broke up permanently. The deets are as of yet unknown, but it can be assumed that Gordon threw yet another temper tantrum at Milo and Anna, causing them to retreat back into their other friends' circle like a bunch of cockroaches. Milo and Damon still (for some bullshit reason) kept in touch with Blazi, while Gordong was pretty much left friendless and began cyberstalking under a new name "vypre7". The others quickly caught on to his antics, leading to Damon having a panic attack and calling his neckbeard ass out while the rest of the party cockblocked his ass.



A couple of months later, the side-orgy gets into a political scuffle involving Anna and Damon because it turns out Damon is a progressive SJW snowflake as opposed to Anna being a pure, holy, Christian fangirl of that super-amazing Badass mothafucka' The Donald, breaking that circlejerk apart much the same way and leading to Milo and Damon crawling back to Jose and Shel with their heads tucked between their own buttcheeks.



Deadbeat Rent-A-Cop Job

CUMING SOON: Gordon Darby Mall Cop!

After the passing of his elderly pedophile father, Gordon was left in a dilemma. All he wanted to do in life was sit on his fat ass playing Doom 2016 all while being a general asshole, but he had to concede the horrifying truth that he needed to get a fucking job (unlike your unemployed ass), and so he applied for a position as a deadbeat Rent-A-Cop at a Wholesale Store, a Bank, and a Microsoft Data Center, where he would do nothing but wank off to surveillance tapes of the women's bathroom stalls whenever he wasn't standing at the front entrance looking like a piece of shit. During this time, he got into IRL political and religious sissy fights with a co-worker, harassed a senile old lady at the store, and even developed an addiction to cocaine G-Fuel, causing him to have an anxiety attack and being rushed to the hospital where he ended up filing for medical leave so he'd have more time for vidya and getting fat off of MrBeast Burger. Lucky for Boltybitch, his boss wasn't a tough bastard and approved it. However, he eventually got fired after six months of absence, all because he, with the cranial capacity of his left testicle, changed his phone number and completely forgot to notify his boss.

SnoopyPoopy never sought another job since... until about a year later when he applied for the same position again. Let's see how long he'll be able to keep that job until he inevitably fucks up again... >;)



GoFundMe Scam

Gordon being bad at Splitgate...

While trying to be a cute femboy VTuber.
Even his sibling hates him!


As mentioned before, Gordon fucking hated it in Arizona, despite being surrounded by a cushy life where he got everything he ever wanted and with a family that still gave a shit about their hopeless son. He would frequently use his hatred for Arizona to extort money from other people, which he would claim the money is for his "escape", but would instead burn it on computer parts, gaming equipment, and other frivolous crap. As soon as he lost all of his friends, he and his Gay Lover Blazi started a GoFundMe to get him out of Arizona, crossing their fingers that some sucker rando would stumble across their GoFundMe page and donate an exorbitant amount to help Darbytard buy moar toyz escape from his bitch mother and the rest of his cuckservative family.

Remnants of the GoFundMyBadHabits scam



Gordon's mother caught on with the GoFundMe scam and eventually, that shit was abandoned after her asshole son's most recent self-deletion attempt (see "V& Again" below). The only real donation they've ever received was five dollars from a troll or a gullible retard. Everything else was nothing ventured, nothing gained.

The page is still up if anybody wants to donate a penny under the name "Gordon Darby's Dead Faggot Father". ;)

Gordon's Gay Lover(s)

Despite being a virgin with rage, Gordonigger managed to woo quite a few people within his circlejerk (unlike you, fuckface!), namely...

Blazi's ugly fuckin' IRL mug.

Blazi

This person is dying of terminal Fat. Please comfort them in their final moments by reminding them they will soon be a rotting corpse that nobody cares about.


Blazikenpwnsyou (Powerword: Alexander Denny) is Gordon's buck-toothed ass-kisser from Bloomington, Illinois. He looks like a Hollywood boulevard Donald Trump impersonator if he headbutted a cow and got Down syndrome from it, no doubt dooming him to a life of no bitches. This is especially noticeable with his imaginary girlfriend Billie, an OC who's been specifically designed to cater to Blazitard's fucked-up fetishes. First and foremost, LaziBlazi designed her so that every piece of attire she wears shows her panties. No pants, no skirt, just full fuckin' commando. He also has fetishes for enlarged TNA, vaginas, and feminine discharge on his face. He once asked for a prego commission of Billie giving birth and sliding the newborn fetus along his dick using her Miigina. But this section ain't about her; this is about the LADA-ridden fat fuck who's, to date, been the only person to ever truly love the Arizona Doomer. Despite this, his love for Gordon has not stopped him from tugging his nasty, foreskin-laden weenus to Billie every now and then. He also likes taking pictures of his pecker and photoshopping transparent images of Pokemon riding on the tippy-top of it since Blazikenfuckspikachu is never gonna stick his wiener into the pooper of any actual living, breathing creature (and neither will you ROFLMAO). He posts his Gmod fetish shit on his Pillowfort.

Like Gorilla gordon before him, he also has his own Error series, which is even more unfunny and chock full of autistic "storytelling" that you forget it even has a story to begin with. And since Blazi is Gordong's dick-kisser, he's obviously going to antagonize the people on his shitlist, especially Jose and Shel, whom he seems to have the biggest hateboners for.

Billie, Blazi's badly designed OC, traced into his own childish "style".

Even after all the shit Gordon put him through, Blazi still stuck with him through thick 'n thin and remains his friend to this day. Gordon would often manipulate him by talking about how terrible his mother is, obviously twisting stories in his favor kinda like China denying the existence of Taiwan. These stories were quick to make Blazi infuriated, causing him to make long-ass rants calling Gordon's bitch mother out for her supposed bad treatment of his distressed damsel of a "boyfriend".

Just like with the GoFundMe scam, Gordonigger's mother caught on and LOL'd her ass off, causing Blazi to feel intimidated enough to baaaaalete the rants. Thankfully, we fine folk at ED were able to capture snippets of the jibber-jabber he shat out of his crusty, unwiped, diabetic ass.



Jack Daniels

Jack Daniels (Powerword: Jack Daniels) is Gordon's only true bestest best best best best best friend in the whole wide world. Gordon turned to Jack after his Lardass ex-girlfriend dumped him, and ol' Jacky-boy did his best to pull Darbytardy through some tough times. Unfortunately, he couldn't pull him through Shel's hurtful words driving him to suicide, nor could he pull him through the remaining members of the Ohana ostracising him.



Fireball, White Claw, and other drinks

Friend of Jack, but nothing more than an acquaintance to Gordon. He likes to wash down his Jack with a lil' bit of Fireball and/or White Claw. He even considered giving this other drink called Everclear a try but never actually did (just like how you never actually got a girlfriend despite consideration, LOL). Darbybitch was also known to drink Smirnoff whenever he wasn't swiggin' on Jack.

Gordincel's GF in the flesh.

IBM Keyboard

The very object that took Gordon's virginity. Blazibitch bought this shit for him back in 2019 for Valentine's Day (three months before his audition for that year's Golden iPod Awards), to help him alleviate himself of his blueballitis. This isn't bullshit; he started by pressing his dick on the numpad, then started slowly sliding it across the rest of the keys, bringing him to orgasm faster than all the imaginary sex he used to have with his fugly ex-girlfriend on Skype. He would do this constantly, as the sounds of the keys being pressed stimulated his peepee. Definitely a good investment!

G-Fuel-Chan

Milo drinks things like Monster or Red Bull, and since Gordon believes that doing things that are the opposite of someone you hate is the best way to get revenge, started going out with this powdered chick named G-Fuel-Chan. G-Fuel-Chan went in Gordon's mouth, and up his butt, not only because of his hatred for the aforementioned energy drinks per association, but because he also believed it would enlargen his penus. Later dumped G-Fuel-Chan after being admitted to the hospital for an anxiety attack, which in turn got him fired from his job as a deadbeat rent-a-cop.

Gordon's Shitlist

Gordon and Anna after another satisfying session of internet sex.
One of Gordon's edits to Ari's little kid comments.
  • Ari - Some piece of GOTIS Jailbait that constantly got into internet sissy fights with Gordon, because we all know that all manchildren are prone to getting into Keyboard Wars with actual children OTI, provided of course they haven't developed predatory tendencies with them, which Arizona Neckbeard thankfully didn't with this bitch (or maybe he did, IDK).
  • Bladehero22/MysticBlade - Someone Gordon used to go to school with and another former member of the Ohana, as stated previously. Much like Jose and Shel, he cut Vypervert's ass off after seeing how much of a greaseball he's been molded into. Before all that, he constantly let himself get jumped on and used as a meat shield by his "childhood friend" because he knew how delusional Gordon was and took pity on him (much like everybody else did and how Blazi still does).
  • Damon/Dee - Another talentless tartlet, 1337 HAX0R who broke into Boltybaby's abandoned discord, and internet vigilante against the hate machine who clearly didn't get the memo that picking on children and autistic people OTI is actually pretty cool. Just as prone to panic attacks as Anna, and much like the other males in the Ohana, was constantly stepped on by Supreme Emperor Gordon. Was recently outed for pedophilia along with his troony lover Milo and has a habit of forgiving Blazi for fucking shit up.
  • Daxter5150 - As stated before, Gordontard used to be a fan of this shitty Youtube group and used to congregate with two of its members in the Ohana circlejerk. When the shit hit the fan back in 2019, he made them his sworn enemies like a butthurt little kid who got told on by a Concerned Parent and tried numerous times to upstage them, plagiarize them, and even defame them only for each attempt to fall flat and him to be driven to An Hero immediately afterward.
    • Jose - The only original member of the channel, the person who used to be idolized to all hell by Gordon, and the one who deprived him of his 2019 Golden iPod award. Was often (but not always) spared from any harsh treatment from Darbaby during his time in the Ohana, but eventually got a big fat "fuck you" from him as a thanks for saving his life. He's also really fucking fugly, as pretty much all Cubanos are.
    • Shel - Gordon's relationship with Anna did not stop him from making advances on other GOTIS bitches. And despite Shel being just as fugly as her Spic boyfriend, she was nevertheless still among the unfortunate ladies to get picketed for peepee stimulation by Gordon and had to constantly put up with him freaking out at her, with the worst incident being during a TF2 session, probably because she was better at the game than him. Also constantly owned his ass at Smash and PuyoTet, with the latter being used on a crusty Windows 7 dinosaur computer. Sent him a mean message in 2019, causing the Ohana to shrink down (like ur penis LOLOLOLOLOL) and making him want to kill himself.
    • The other members - Meanwhile, he harbored a deep hatred for Shawn and Flynn, the other two members of the channel, simply because they were better friends to Jose and Shel than he ever was. Shawn is a half-Canukistani nerd from New York, while Flynn is a Feather nigger and Sega fanboy from California (ironically the same state where Gordon was born). All things considered, those two, and pretty much every other former member of the channel, did the right fucking thing and stayed out of the Ohana.
The Sims screenshot that started his gayphobia, despite him being an SJW snowflake.
  • GWizard777 (Good Rob) - Of all the male members of the Ohana, this guy was the one Gordon pushed around the most. Like Blade, Darbytard constantly made him his butt-monkey and even made several unfunny, depreciating jokes about him in his videos, all because of a screenshot depicting them kissing each other in The Sims. At first, G thought it was nothing more than juvenile teasing and dismissed it, but became more and more weary of his bullshit as time kept growing (unlike your penis LOLOLOLOL). Was the first to leave the Ohana before Gordong's first attempt to commit die in 2019 and managed to convince everyone else except Blazi to GTFO out of there. Unfortunately, he couldn't convince Anna, Damon, Kodi, Milo, and the other Rob to stay away from Gordonigger as soon as he returned.
  • LandmarkSpring/DealingOctoling (Best Rob) - Now, this guy's DEFINITELY a Grade-A faggot, seeing how he's a Canuckistani with a taste for children and RP personas. Was the foybriend of Kodi before she decided not to give him her hairy nipples & coochie and dumped his ass, pretty much reducing him to the status of an incel nobody who needs to do the world a favor, and we don't mean in the ways that Gordontard tried...
  • Maudiewanna50/Seth - Some annoying kid on the internet from back in 2013-15 whose antics inspired a plethora of GoAnimate grounded vids getting made out of him. Threatened to kill Gordon in his sleep and snip off his peener in a Skype voice message, but since he was a dumb little kid, he didn't actually go through with it. This still did, however, make Gordon angry enough to dedicate several episodes of his shitty Error series to antagonizing Seth and even shat out crappy Grounded vids out of him. About a year later, Daxter5150 made their own Grounded series out of Seth, and it was way better than Gordong's.
  • Milo - Another (YOU GUESSED IT) former member of the Ohana and ex-Youtube Pooper. Became FTM sometime after leaving the group, obviously upsetting Gordon. Angry from being deprived of GOTIS pussy once again, Gordon begins harassing Milo OTI using the same, rehashed "I'm going to rape you" threats taken from 2010's-era raging Xbox Live tryhards, and even demanding she he go back to being female. When Milo cut him off for the last time (after Gordonigger announced plans to move to Alabama to live with her him and Damon but they said LOLNO), Gordon made yet another failed attempt to exhaust his own lifelines (see "V& Again" below). Also is quick to easily forgive Blazi every time he fucks up.
  • Pixelboid/Kodi - Revulsive GOTIS Tartlet with hairy nipples, a nasty coochie, a Shotacon complex, and Gordon's fat ex-girlfriend's ex-bestie from the land of buck-teeth and Fish n' Chips. Was yet another object of Gordontard's "affections" before she predictably stopped being friends with him upon his breakup with Anna. Friendship ended with Anna after the both of them got outed for "stealing" OCs that they probably drew and/or helped design.
  • UTTP - Yes, Gordonfag was yet another victim of the UTubeFailPolice hurting his delicate feelings. Had a hate boner for one of its members, Stephen Larson in particular, not just for his association with the UTTP, but because he was a Pinoy, certifying Gordon as a grand wizard in addition to a fag killer.
  • His Own Mother - In case it wasn't already made clear, Yes. Darbytard hates the supposedly vile witch that projectile shat him into this world. Not because she was physically or emotionally abusive or any of that, but because she made him and the rest of the family move to the Arizona desert to care for his aging, right-wing, Christian Grandfather, to help them get more in touch with our lord n' savior Jesus Christ, and to offer their support for that badass pussygrabber who's saving America: The Donald! Gordincel, having been tainted by SJW brainwashing, does not like any of this, and since he's too lazy and entitled to do anything, he can only resort to bitching and whining about how much he hates his wrinkly hunk of leftovers of a mother.

V& Again


Around the end of September 2023, Gordonsperg realized his GoFundMe scam, his sexual advances towards Milo, and pretty much his entire life now that we think about it, wasn't going anywhere at this point, and he made another failed attempt at self-delete. His butt-boy Blazi was the first to find out what his shemale princess was gonna do to himself and DIALED FUCKING EVERYBODY within Gordon's vicinity to come to his rescue. Fortunately for those involved, the fat fuck was, as usual, in no immediate danger, and he was soon strapped into the Waaaambulance and hauled off to the nuthouse, where he's gonna spend the next 90 days to a year taking it up the ass from the creepy orderlies. Reap what you sow, faggot! DISREGARD THAT, THEY JUST KEPT HIM FOR THREE DAYS LIKE LAST TIME. Feel free to whine about him not being held longer in the discussion tab.

Gordongs's online butt-boy's Facebook post about saving his life (worded as if he was Roleplaying).

Around the same time, LazyBlazi exchanged Discord messages with Damon, claiming that he's "breaking up" with Darbyemo for a year, meaning that he didn't completely break up with his fat ass for the last and final time as he should've and is gonna get back together with him on precisely September 22nd 2024, provided Gordon the Tasmanian Devil doesn't 'successfully' off himself by then LOL he predictably got back in touch with him shortly after because he suffers from severe Stockholm Syndrome and enjoys the taste of Arizona Cactus Cock.



Shel, still bitter about how she was constantly stepped on by Supreme Emperor Gordonipple, found out about Blazi reconnecting with him after browsing through shitty art on Google, then remembered how Blazi flunked an Art class in school and decided to use his crappy Gmod "artwork" as references, leading her to Blazi's page on a late-2000's-esque Myspace clone called SpaceHey, which was obscure enough to keep LaziBlazi and Darbytard under the radar. Or so they thought...



It wouldn't be long until Milo and Damon discovered this and called Blazi's diabetic ass out over it, even though they should've done the right thing and told him to go eat his imaginary girlfriend's diapers. Why they chose not to break away from his fat ass is anybody's guess.

Fur-Trooning Out


On August 27th 2024, Gordon, having been drained entirely of all his sanity, has officially rejected his humanity and masculinity. Lord only knows whether or not he's gonna buy a fursuit and bring that shit to work with him...

Doomer's Gallery


Doomer's Gallery About missing Pics
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See also

  • Bipolar Disorder - Being a closet emo, Darbytard suffers from this.
  • BPD - Another one of Gordong's behavioral traits.
  • Camhead - Did the same shit but realized the error of his ways and left the internet to embrace real life (unlike you, faggot!)
  • Depression - Crutch to get what he wants.
  • Diogo Mendes - Gordonipple if he was a Portuguese Logofag.
  • Dying Alone - It has been prophecized that Gordon will be all alone in his last moments of life as he lays motionless crying himself to permanent sleep.
  • EDP445 - Gordonigger if he was a- well... nigger! XD
  • Glitchlov - Gordon look-a-like who thankfully didn't make this page.
  • Golden iPod - The greaseball's long-sought prize of his dreams, and what he's likely to achieve soon (and you too, hopefully).
  • Homeless - Gordon's future, provided he hasn't killed himself or got sent to a sperghouse by then.
  • Incel - What he's been reduced to.
  • Joey The Autist - Dramatic re-enactment of what Boltybitch puts his mother through on a daily basis.
  • Keegan Salisbury - Long lost brother?
  • Le wrong generation
  • MediaFan2008 - Jolly ol' Gordon if 'is doiet conshishtid o' Fish 'n Chips & Tea Toime.
  • Pansexual - Claims to be one, but is actually Rapesexual.
  • RAGE - Something Gorilla Gordon is prone to if he doesn't get his way.
  • Rape - What he never got to do, but probably roleplayed with Anna.
  • Vyond - Used this to make grounded vids out of people who hurt his feelings.

External Links


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