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Genital Herpes

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Genital Herpes (technically herpes simplex, but more commonly known simply as "herpes") is a virus that effects humans and one of God's gift to teh lulz. It won't kill you, but once it infects you, it's like a tattoo: permanent, and worth having.

Although a permanent STD, according to advertisements for herpes medication Valtrex, herpes will cause you to live a more glamorous life: riding horseback through the ocean shores of California, white-water rafting in the Colorado River, riding a motorcycle through the chilly evening desert plains, and climbing the rugged terrain of the Appalachian Mountains.

In fact, you get genital herpes because you are a whore. Feel free to treat those with genital herpes like the smegma-sucking, santorum-licking, low-life shits that they are.

1-in-4 Americans over age 12 have "teh herp". While not shocking at first, the number can be viewed as a staggering statistic if applied in the following manner: Imagine, if you will, going to see your local baseball team and the stadium is at near capacity. 10,000 of your fellow beer swilling, hot dog eating brethren are herpetic. Feel better now?

What to do if you have herpes

The proper treatment for genital herpes is with bacteriostatics (herpes simplex virus) and antivirals, such as acyclovir. Acyclovir should be taken orally in 200 mg doses five times per day (for a total of 1 g daily) for 10 days. Oh, what's that? Your stupid health care system doesn't provide you with prescription coverage? No problem: you can always practice the tried-and-true method of just not telling people that you have herpes because, hey, you're not contagious if you don't have active sores, right?

Celebs with "Da Herp"

It's not a herpes lesion

Licking herpes sores is called herpilingus!!

It's...

Gallery

  • Herpes is so adorable. You can get it here.
    Herpes is so adorable. You can get it here.
  • This is what happens when you give genital herpes to someone else's man.
    This is what happens when you give genital herpes to someone else's man.
  • (supply teacher)
    (supply teacher)

See Also


Genital Herpes is part of a series on Dying Alone

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Genital Herpes is part of a series on Diseases and Disorders
Diseases:

AIDS • Cancer • Coronavirus • Diabeetus • Dwarfism • Monkeypox • Erectile dysfunction • Fetal Alcohol Syndrome • Fibromyalgia • Genital Herpes • GRIDS • Obesity • Parkinson's Disease • Sexually Transmitted Diseases • Swine Flu

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Internet Diseases and Disorders:

Internet disease (see also Internet Disease Chart) • Internet troll personality disorder • The Cancer That Is Killing /b/ • The GRIDS that is killing ED

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