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Clayranger89: Difference between revisions
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{{asspie}}<br> | |||
{{warning|"Windows will now contact mysterybot to request for the deletion of this page. Ha ha, noobs. | |||
this can never be reverted!"}} | |||
[[File:Clayranger89.jpg|right|thumb|Clayton [[Trying too hard|tries]] to be [[Anonymous]].]] | |||
[[File:Steroids hackers.jpg|right|thumb|What Clayton wants you to think....]] | |||
[[File:Bnetmoderator.jpg|right|thumb|....Versus what we already know of him.]] | |||
[[Image:Gaykissing.jpg|thumb|right|Clay and Jacob, trying to hack each other.]] | |||
<!-- [[File:Pervertsonyoutube.png|right|thumb|Only ED and pedophiles give Clay views...]] --> | |||
<!-- [[File:ClayrangerEAS.png|thumb|right|What a faggot.]] --> | |||
[[Image:100dollarlaptop1.jpg|thumb|right|Where the [[hacking|magic]] happens.]] | |||
<!-- [[image:Gayrangergroup.png|thumb|right|See how EAS fanatics fall under the same group? That's right. Clayranger is an [[autistic]] Jew [[faggot|gay]] [[chav|wigger]].]] --> | |||
[[image:Easautism.png|thumb|right|One of his white knight friends is [[stupid|retarded and proud]].]] | |||
<!-- [[File:Gayranger.jpg|thumb|right|This is what happens when you let your kids play near household chemicals.]] --> | |||
<!-- [[image:Eashatershavenolife.jpg|thumb|right|Neither do those with weather report fetishes amirite?]] --> | |||
{{quote|Hey i saw that article about me on encyclopedia dramatica. i hope you know your being reported to the [[Jessi Slaughter|cyperpolice]]. [[E-Lawyer|this isn't legal]]. Jacob's just getting started.|Clay posted this before he attempted to [[Special:Contributions/Clayranger89|blank this page]] numerous times.}} | |||
{{yt|Clayranger89}} ([[Powerword]] '''Clayton Russel Tomaszewski''') is a [[13 year old boy|13 year old]] [[autistic]] [[Jewtube]] [[faggot|user]] from [[Wisconsin]] who is a self-described "Fanatic" of the [[Shit nobody cares about|Emergency Alert System]]. Yes, that's right: [[lol wut|''The Emergency Alert System'']]. To date, he has uploaded more than 130 videos of his weather radio as it plays out a warning, a blatantly obvious indicator that he not only has [[Facebook|no life]], but that he also suffers from [[at least 100]] distinct varieties of [[retarded]], [[fail]] and [[batshit crazy]]. Even [[Chris-Chan]] has more understandable mental defects, due mostly in part to the fact that he has been clinically diagnosed as a stupids. | |||
==The Emergency Alert System== | |||
If you thought [[Kevin Havens]]' love of fucking creepy-looking dolls composed entirely of decaying latex and herpes was weird, then you haven't met the load-that-should-have-been-swallowed-by-his-worthless-whore-of-a-mother that is Clayton [[I came|"OH GOD IT'S THE EAS!"]] [[Typo|Tomaszewski]]. However, unlike Kevin's deviant fetish for having his way with helpless Barbie dolls (the only things known to not recoil in abject terror from his very presence), Clayton's love is a public service - something that doesn't physically exist. And if you're doubting [[ED|us]], look below at his lists of things he likes. Clayton is madly in [[love]] with something that doesn't exist and will vigorously [[Bawww|fight]] to protect it from [[Trolls|insults]], because really, who can't [[Fetish|love something that randomly interrupts your television program for a weekly test]]. It is, however, impressive that, despite having his mouth propped open by fucktons of giant [[niggerdick]] all day, he manages to speak just coherently enough to make it perfectly clear that [[Virginbus|this kind of dipshittery is not only incurable]], but really funny to watch. | |||
== [[YouTube]] == | |||
Being an [[asspie]], Clay has [[Masturbate|nothing better]] to do than [[Fat|sit]] by his two weather radios literally all day and wait for them to [[Cum|go off]]. This can be proven by seeing how long 'it takes for the radio to go off from when the video starts. He's even been known to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXM33hboCVo record his weather radio while at school] just in case it goes off. Sometimes he misses an alert and throws a temper tantrum like the [[Infantilism|mal-adjusted cunt]] he is. His other videos are "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TkI8_y0RfU reaction videos]" to [[Attention whore|Youtube celebrities]] like [[Fred]] or him [[Trying too hard|desperately trying (and failing)]] to be [[random]]. | |||
<center>{{fv|clayvids|background-color:#ffffff;|font-weight: bold;|<youtube>rLICgnQdT6w</youtube>|<youtube>AiOaOFgHuS8</youtube>|<youtube>2E8hT3VWlBo</youtube>|<youtube>xQsE2D2EGUk</youtube>|<youtube>cvRZHy7MK10</youtube>|<youtube>j9FyQuDtlyk</youtube>|<youtube>hOE370nsvpQ</youtube>|<youtube>sAvP8I16Yow</youtube><br/>}}</center> | |||
On September 3, 2010, Clay announced that he was [[Loser|quitting]] the "war" between him and the trolls so he could move on with his "[[forever alone|EAS Life]]". In reality, he just started school and doesn't have time for the trolls between homework and masturbating to the latest severe thunderstorm watch. | |||
On July 11, 2011, Clay announced his [[butthurt|leave of YouTube]] in [[BAWWWWW|a video that attempted to make everybody feel sorry for him]]. This might be an attempt by Clay to troll the Internet. Or he is just an autistic faggot. Here is that video: | |||
<center><youtube>LlUNddwGKnI</youtube></center> | |||
== Trolling == | |||
Clay ''hates'' trolls and will threaten to have your account [[Nice try|hacked]] by his [[You have no friends|'friend']] [[Script kiddie|Jacob]] (Who, despite being a [[1337]] h4ckzor, had his old [http://www.youtube.com/user/jacobdallen jacobdallen] account hacked in mid-2009, and is now [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-gHq0hnzqE claiming] to have been hacked [[Fail|yet again]] and is blaming it on those damn dirty trolls. Since nothing has happened with the "hacked" account, it's likely he just forgot the password. Jacob claims on his (now "hacked") [http://www.youtube.com/user/JDAISBACK Youtube page] that he "[[Failed|tried]] [[Taking down ED|to delete all of Encyclopedia Dramatica]]", as if failing was some kind of accomplishment) if you troll him. '''Update''' Jacob has, as of October 12, 2010, claimed that his account has been [[hacked|hacked]]. The simpler explanation is that since nothing has changed on his account, being the [[l337|l337 h4cks0r]] that he is, [[facepalm|he simply forgot the password to his Youtube account.]] You can check out his new channel here: [http://www.youtube.com/user/jacobdallen2] Of course, being a self-important, retarded wad of queerbait, Clay thinks that any comment that doesn't [[Blowjob|buff his e-peen]] is trolling. If you comment on enough of his videos he ''will'' make a video like the following, showing he is an [[internet tough guy]] (and a massive, insecure crybaby). Take account of the high levels of [[nerd rage]] and [[unwarranted self-importance]]. Notice also how he also threatens to report a user to the [[FCC]] for "video theft". The best way to troll him is to ask [[OCD|why he uploaded 100+ videos]] about the Emergency Alert System or ask why he has a [[asking for it|fetish for it]]. | |||
<center><youtube>IRfwuchCQBk</youtube></center> | |||
== Hypocrisy == | |||
Like all good [[Attention whore|attention whores]], Clayton likes to [[Not your personal army|tell his followers]] to do things for him, even if he doesn't like it when people do the same things to him. [[BAWWWWW|He constantly threatens to hack accounts]], [[Facepalm|while saying in a video directed at the trolls that he is tired of people hacking]]. His Jewtube channel says [[$cientology|"Any form of harassment towards anybody in our group is NOT tolerated,"]] and his response towards anything negative that comes his way is organized harassment from his e-friends. Of course, since <strike>many</strike> all of his followers are ignorant, narrow-minded, [[underage]] twats, their [[Fail|trump card]] in harassment is, invariably, to call you [[gay]], because they lack the three brain cells required to come up with an original insult. | |||
Clayranger89 is also a [[Boxxy|clearly dangerous individual]] who has spread his [[AIDS|contamination]] across all of Jewtube. Here are some notable examples of such dangerous activity: | |||
<center><youtube>HogxuVnTPGM</youtube></center> | |||
== Encyclopedia Dramatica == | |||
As usual with attention whores like Clay, he discovered this page on August 20, 2010 while Googling himself. He then proceeded to, as standard, attempt to [[BLANKING IN PROGRESS|blank the page]] numerous times and [[Fail|failing]] at it due to [[MysteryBot]]. You can remind him of his failure on [[User:Clayranger89|his user page]] (remember to leave some [[shock|pretty pictures]] to show how much you care!). | |||
Also, since Gayranger is a [[typical]] retard, he has made another ED account (with more likely to come), still completely oblivious to the fact that he won't get anywhere with this feeble attempts at vandalism. Have some fun with this, too: | |||
*[[User:Cococarrier]] | |||
This ED page has caused a shitstorm among the EAS group. Edit wars are imminent, but after everyone is banned it'll all be cleared up. | |||
<center>{{frame|<youtube>X2JOiUFPAOU</youtube>}}</center> | |||
Clay continues to threaten to call his [[e-lawyer]] and file a [[lolsuit]] against [[ED]], claiming the page is breaking the laws of "violation of privacy" and "use of pornography". Of course, he put his own personal information on [[Facebook]] while [[lie|lying about his age]], meaning Facebook's [http://www.facebook.com/privacy/explanation.php#!/help/?faq=16397 automatic privacy controls for minors] did not affect him. As for the porn? [[Offended|Welcome to the internet!]] | |||
Showing how much of a true [[retard]] he is, Clay's new goal in his mission of [[taking down ED]] is to "hack" the almighty [[MysteryBot]], because he's apparently too stupid to realize that only Sysops can delete a page, and that [[everyone]] can [[revert]] an edit. | |||
{{quote|Hey dude, the problem with ED is Mysterybot. [[Good luck|We need to find a way to hack mysterybot, shut it down, and then we can delete the page]]|Clay}} | |||
== Other "hobbies" == | |||
When he's not glued to one of his weather radios and masturbating to the latest severe thunderstorm warning, young Clayton enjoys making "[[Snuff|robbery]]" videos with friends who are just as retarded as he is. In this video, Clay takes the opportunity to satisfy his "needs" by [[rape|patting down]] an underage girl: | |||
<center><youtube>-he6q_4E05Y</youtube></center> | |||
==Friends== | |||
Clay has a number of paid friends on the internets who all participate in daily [[Circlejerk|circlejerks]] over the EAS. Many of his friends are more retarded than he is. Here's some examples: | |||
===ChristineThePikachu=== | |||
'''[http://www.youtube.com/user/ChristineThePikachu ChristineThePikachu]''' is a [[furfag]] who makes [[Youtube Poop]] and is possibly Clay's most retarded friend. She has a severe case of [[Samefag|multiple personality disorder]] and has [[Greed|multiple]] Youtube accounts that she uses to [[Sockpuppet|talk to herself]] to make it seem like she has friends. If you call her out on this fact, she will claim she has no idea what you're talking about, despite the fact that all of her accounts have the same profile content and that they all f*ck*ng c*ns*r w*rds l*ke th*s. | |||
She claims she's not a furfag despite having a [[FurAffinity]] account[http://www.furaffinity.net/user/ChristineThePikachu]. | |||
Christine's (known) accounts are | |||
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/ChristineThePikachu ChristineThePikachu] | |||
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/ChristineThePikachuA ChristineThePikachuA] | |||
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/mykidsarework MyKidsAreWork], Which she has used to pretend to be her mother/ someone named "Churine" | |||
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/BeXlieXve592 BeXlieXve592], supposed to be her mom, Laura Short, she is a [[butthurt|butthurt]] lesbian who takes the internet [[the Internet is serious business|very seriously]]. Listed are some of her more thought provoking statements: | |||
"You are harassing my [[lolis|girls]] that is called Cyberbullying and [[O RLY|there are laws about that..]]Leave my children alone and furthermore i do not give a damn if you know who i am my name is Laura Short..If you are a child and are not old enough to be on here i advise you to stop now!" | |||
===lightningbolt99999=== | |||
lightningbolt99999 is an [[autism|autistic]] [[jew|jew]] who claims to go by the name [[Americunt|Jonny]]. Through the deductive powers of the [[Internet|Internet]], we learn that his real name is [[[http://www.myspace.com/Beauste5| Beau Mayle]]. When he is not molesting the EAS, he enjoys such normal activity like [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KcF1WHso58Q| playing the EAS on guitar]. | |||
*UPDATE*: his [http://youtube.com/lightningbolt99999 account] has been removed by [[JewTube]] for copyright violation | |||
===JDart1776=== | |||
The [[white knight|white knight]] of the asspies, JDart1776[http://www.youtube.com/user/JDart1776] suffers from the fictional disorder known as [[ADHD|ADD.]] Like all people who claim that they suffer from this fictional disorder, JDart1776 also has a case of [[unwarranted self-importance|unwarranted self-importance]], caused in part because he claims that [[shit nobody cares about|he does not need Ritalin]], and because [[BAWWWWW|nobody respects him]]: | |||
"All I want is respect, that's all.{Yes, I know you were just [[Bestiality|trying to get my goat}]]. | |||
===EASalert88=== | |||
<!-- [[File:340px-ER88_without_his_glasses.jpg|left|thumb|EVENING, LADIES.]] --> | |||
'''[http://www.youtube.com/user/easalert88 EASalert88]''' (a.k.a '''[[sockpuppet|User:Emergencyranger88tv]]''' and '''[[sockpuppet|User:3ASA13R788]]''') is one of Clay's [[Gay|butt buddies]] who often is seen [[RAGE|raeging]] over this very page, usually including him threatening to [[Hacking|hack]] [[ED]] to take it down. He is responsible for many of the lulziest quotes to come out of the Clayranger89 [[drama]] mainly due to his terrible grammar, trouble with kindergarten-level [[english]], and hilarious threats. His latest threats include leaving the following on this page's [[Talk:Clayranger89#FAGGOTS.21|talk page]]: | |||
{{squote|[[USI|HELLO YOU EAS HATING FAGGOTS! YOU MAY KNOW ME ON YOUTUBE AS AN ASSPIE, BUT YOU ARE PISSING ME THE FUCK OFF! TRY TO FUCKING CREATE AN ENCYCLOPEDIA DRAMTICA PAGE ABOUT ME YOU FAGGOTS! YOUR WHORE MOTHER]]|EASalert88}} | |||
Worth noting: Prior to leaving that comment and spamming [[Ediot|good user's]] talk pages, EASalert88 threatened to "HACK THE CLAYRANGER89 TALKPAGE AND YOUR TROLL FAGGOTS OF FRIENDS". [[Cool story bro]]! Since then, he has [[User:MycalFelpsDoesDrugs|gotten around]] his [[banned|bans]] and returned only to blank this page and call it [[hacking]] and some retarded attempts at editing. | |||
EASalert88 also believes that the EAS is "ONE OF THE BEST GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING MIRACLE THAT WAS MADE BY THE FCC YOU DAMNED FUCKING EXCUSE OF EAS HATER FAGGOTS" and thinks the following is threatening: | |||
{{squote|YOU'RE NEXT ON MY [[Nerd Rage|HATE VIDEO]] LIST, AND GUESS Who you're gonna get pwned by? 3 seconds to guess... 3, 2, 1. if you said me, you were wrong. you are going to get pwned by The [[WTF|NOAA WEATHER RADIO Voice]]! |[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yje0eK5gYYs]}} | |||
EASalert88 has started up [http://yttmw.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page his own wiki] in some sort of autistic attempt to... do... something. You can help by filling it with [[Goatse|pretty pictures]] and reminding him of his [[fail]]. Nevermind, Wikia got wind of the content of the wiki and [[POOL'S CLOSED|shut it down]][http://community.wikia.com/index.php?title=Forum:Using_Wikia_as_personal_soapbox,_attacking_others&t=20101018235807]. | |||
EASalert88 describes himself on his wiki as so: "Emergencyranger88tv is a tremendously-[[Retard|retarded]] child presumably living in the [[basement dweller|dampest, darkest corners of the basement]] of the local children's mental health clinic in whatever backwater, hick-ass piss-hole of a town the wretched twat might call home. He, among idiots proud of being complete social disgraces such as Clayranger89, most likely sits next to his shitty weather radio all day, masturbating furiously in anticipation of a weather warning or child abduction alert (a clear sign of deviant and abnormal behavior). [[Wat|He is convinced that making pathetic, infantile videos slandering various individuals simply for not being irrationally-obsessed with an irritating radio broadcast is proof that he has more of a life than everyone he is likely to encounter.]] To make a long story short, he is a worthless waste of life and a rotten wad of jizz that should have been swallowed or aborted by his horrid crackwhore mother instead of being carried to conception, which would have been a great favor to the rest of the world. | |||
Recently, EASalert88 means [[The Internet is serious business|serious business]], as noted by this quote following Gayranger89's leaving the Internet: | |||
{{squote|Lies. i am now the [[Patrick Stewart|commander]] of the EAS fanbase, bitch}} | |||
More lulz is expected to ensue. | |||
[[tl;dr|tl;dr]] EASalert88 is an autistic faggot who enjoys loud buzzing noises. | |||
=== Bill9929 === | |||
{{main|Bill9929}} | |||
Bill Peebles, aka Bill9929 was owned when he decided to [[white knight]] for Clayranger89, by way of [[taking down ED]]. Bill went through all the steps necessary to do this, including setting up his own wiki, and a forums where he and others of a like mindset could collaborate on this [[no]]ble endeavour. What could possibly go wrong, right? Bill's wiki and forums [[owned|ended up like so many other sites]] that attempt this feat. | |||
=== statefairshows === | |||
Tristan Brooks, aka statefairshows, is a hillbilly EAS Fan from Attalla, Alabama who does nothing but sit on his fatass all day, watch some old dumbass Disney Channel shows, and makes retarded "original" music tracks on his outdated iPad, and record EAS. Some people say that he was done with EAS, however, his Youtube channel disagrees, as still to this very day, posts more EAS. Tristan takes the internet life as a place of watching children's shows, chatting with his so called "friends" on Skype, and making useless crappy art and posting on his Deviantart Account, as to add more onto that, he is also a major brony, and has Tourettes Syndrome. HOLY SHIT, MLP AND EAS ARE MIXED APPARENTLY!?!?!?! | |||
==Recent Drama== | |||
As of this writing, Jacob has [[gay|come out]] as a traitor to the EASfags. [[Lulz|No srsly]]. | |||
Here is a video of the message that started the recent drama: | |||
<center><youtube>twu-ErD_gS4</youtube></center> | |||
While autistic faggotry has always been a focal point of lulz for the Internet, the butthurt has increased ten-fold as [[BAWWWWW|nobody trusts one another anymore]]. A good example of this would include ChristineThePikachu, who made a [http://www.youtube.com/user/jacobdallenTRAITOR YouTube channel] dedicated to being butthurt faggot. However, she will deny that the channel belongs to her for this reason (as quoted on the channel): | |||
{{squote|[[facepalm|i cant tell you who i am for safety reasons.]] jacobdallen has turned against the eas video making community and the tts community...i love the eas and i love tts, but jacobdallen [[raep|has gone too far]]. he used to be [[pretty cool guy|cool]] but now hes a traitor and [[unfunny]]}} | |||
Because of the recent turn of events, ChristineThePikachu is expected to [[an hero]] very shortly, and Jacob keeps stating that he's [[lie|neutral]]. | |||
==Quotes From The Retard Himself== | |||
{{Quote|You need to stop this. Dont even think about quoting this on your stupid dramatica site. i hereby Copyright these quotes. [[O RLY|You'd be breaking a second law]]. (C)|Clayton|Oh shi-!}} | |||
<center> | |||
{{morphquote|mqtest|background-color: lightgray;|font-weight: bold; | |||
|Things I Like: | |||
1. Emergency Alert System | |||
2. Minnesota and all of their sports teams | |||
3. [[Unwarranted Self-Importance|Myself]] | |||
4. Life | |||
5. My weather radios|Clay, proudly flaunting his complete lack of a life. | |||
|You get a life. Do you have anything better to do than post negative comments on random videos?|Demonstrating his scholarly knowledge of the finer points of hypocrisy. | |||
|im not amused with you. you'd better step out right now, or i'll have jacob put you on his "To be hacked" list. Got it?|Clay, unaware that this would only frighten other 10-year-olds like him. | |||
|You think this is amusing? wanna know what i'd think would be amusing? Watching you cry after jacob hacks your account.|Being too much of an Asperger's-victim to understand the fact that that life does not revolve around Youtube. | |||
|you seriously need to shut up|Futilely shouting at a mirror - [[Yes|schizophrenia, perhaps?]] | |||
|and YOU need to find a hobby other than ticking people off. Atleats what i do is worth the time i put into it|Clay has a degree in English from Oxford University. He also has a Master's in overstatement and being just too stupid too realize that he's [[rape|being trolled up the ass.]] | |||
|I'm Clayranger89. I-I-I promise not to try to miss any more, OK?|Clay struggles not only to speak like someone who didn't land head-first after being violently squeezed out of his mother's rotten cunt, but also to comprehend basic grammar (you know, the kind they teach you in first grade), and the fact that LITERALLY NO ONE ELSE ON EARTH CARES ABOUT HIM OR HIS RAMPANTLY-HOMOSEXUAL OBSESSION WITH RADIO BULLSHIT. | |||
|OK, what kind of idiot misses two EAS in one severe weather season? Somebody named Clayranger89. I just missed another one, you guys|Once again, a little fuzzy on the concept of no one caring about his videos. | |||
|Freaking back off, I'LL HACK YOU instead myself. I'll make some popcorn for clay and i.|[http://www.youtube.com/user/EASVideo88 EASVideo88] Hopefully just a [[sockpuppet]] of Clay's; God help us if there are actually other people out there dumb enough to wank over this every chance they get. | |||
|Imaginary? hes for real you stupid retard|Narrowly escaping a mind-shattering brush with reality. Psychological defense mechanisms really are something, huh? Calling someone 'stupid' using piss-poor grammar is a surefire way to display your [[Goronchev|intellectual superiority,]] too. | |||
|Ok, now you've done it. Get ready to feel pain, because your giong to be aching?|Clay desperately trying to sound like a badass. | |||
|Your not gonna be laughing when you meet my friends tommorow morning. And you'll meet jacob too, you'll be Crying instead.|[[Gang|Juvenile pussies]] can never handle a one-one-one fight. They always need to beg for help from the other mongoloids staggering around the sandbox. | |||
|whoa man! fuckin magnets!!! HOW DO THEY WORK!?!?!?!?!?|oscillator5, being a genius. | |||
|@oscillator5 They are made out of a Magnitite material. Thus, making them magnets. You can try it on other magnets, or soil. But becareful you dont have them near electronics.| Clay, being a knob. | |||
|ATTENTION ALL TROLLS: | |||
THIS WAR IS NOT OVER, THIS IS TO BE CONTINUED. | |||
I DONT GIVE UP YET. THIS coNTINUES TOMMOROW.|It's like, stupid easy to make this kid throw a fit. | |||
|Believe me, if you get on my good side and not my bad, jacob wont hack you|Science now confirms that Jacob is his shower daddy [[Fact|from when he got arrested for jacking off at a preschool]], seeing as how he's all the little jizzrag talks about. | |||
|@cruciaL931 Me? your talking to the wrong person|Clay, on having multiple personalities. | |||
|The only thing i find amusing is that your making an uber noob of yourself!|Still falling deeper and deeper into his own ass. | |||
|What is the point of this? You trying to make a point is not going to work. Because NO ONE trys to make a point with me. Got that Moron?|Epic egomania and more fail. | |||
|Your are even MORE childish. You have no life. Face it. You have nothing better to do than to pick fights with random people online. You may have one other fights with people, but your not gonna win this one.|Once again, not understanding what he has gotten himself into. | |||
|Wow, every time you post a comment on my video, it gets on comment more famous|Mission accomplished. | |||
|by the way, get ready to meet my friend Mjtheman23. It will be hell for you when my other friends come too|Clay really likes to pretend that he's got friends, but everyone knows that no one likes the creepy little radio kid. | |||
|Your really asking for it kid, you really are. Jacob will take care of you though. Also watch the video i put on your channel.|More tough talk failure and, surprise-surprise, the video doesn't even work. Good job, Clay! | |||
|so you want your account hacked?|It's sad that he actually believes people are scared of him. Pretty damn funny, too. | |||
|there are a million EAS fans and a quadrillion TTS Video makers and fans. There are more than your so-called trolls MOTHERFUCKER!|Clay's friend/sock [http://www.youtube.com/user/easalert88 EASalert88], Incorrectly estimating how many people are "fans" of the EAS. | |||
|Wow, every time you post a comment on my video, it gets on comment more famous|Mission accomplished. | |||
|Your are even MORE childish. You have no life. Face it. You have nothing better to do than to pick fights with random people online. You may have one other fights with people, but your not gonna win this one.|Once again, not understanding what he has gotten himself into. | |||
|by the way, get ready to meet my friend Mjtheman23. It will be hell for you when my other friends come too|Clay really likes to pretend that he's got friends, but everyone knows that no one likes the creepy little radio kid. | |||
|Your really asking for it kid, you really are. Jacob will take care of you though. Also watch the video i put on your channel.|More tough talk failure and, surprise-surprise, the video doesn't even work. Good job, Clay! | |||
|you seriously need to [[O RLY|get a life]] besides trolling. And my "Fetish" of the EAS and the [[CP|time i spend on the computer]] is none of your business. |Clayranger89 finally admits he is indeed a [[sickfuck|sickfuck]] | |||
}} | |||
</center> | |||
===Quotes from White Knights=== | |||
{{squote|That's another thing you keep over using besides calling people "Autistic", "are you mad?" well hear this, yeah we are! quit trying to be like IRLbanhammer, because you're FAILIING|Making you mad is sort of the point of all this. Thanks for reminding us how obvious it is that we are succeeding, though.}} | |||
{{squote|"Completely Legal" HAHAHAHA My butt. That page isn't even in the same courtyard as legal. | |||
Lets see the laws broken here | |||
1. [[Shit nobody cares about|Exposing Minors to pornography]] | |||
2. [[ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK IT|Posing a sexual politic about a minor]] | |||
3. [[Old media|Indecent exposure on the internet]] | |||
4. [[Nice try|Invasion of privacy]] | |||
5. [[Asking for it|Targeting and Chastizing minors]] | |||
[[BAWWWWW|Wow, that's alot of problems with it.]]|[http://www.youtube.com/user/EASVideo88 EASVideo88]}} | |||
{{squote|my cousin is somewhat skilled at hacking too. [[CSIII|he hacked a library computer before]], so i think we're good|[http://www.youtube.com/user/BackOff414 BackOff414]}} | |||
{{squote|Ok, Clay's just making a video with his friends, not "Feeling up the loli." First of all, your the sicko for thinking such a perverted thing like that. Why don't you go back to Jacking off to encyclopedia dramatica instead of bothering clay. Your only seeing this because you saw the ED page about him. So instead of believing ever frickin' thing you read about some one, just go back to masturbating to ED. Ok?|Looks like EASVIDEO88 is butthurt yet again.}} | |||
== Links == | |||
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/Clayranger89 His main Youtube] | |||
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/Clayranger89a His backup Youtube] | |||
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/Clayranger899 Another Youtube], where he uploads his [[Chris-Chan|random-access humor]]. | |||
*<strike>http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000167452684 His Facebook</strike> [[Baleeted|BALEETED!]] | |||
*[http://clayranger89.110mb.com His shitty premade website] | |||
*<s>[http://clayranger89.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page He even made a wiki for himself to cry in]</s> '''BALEETED!''' | |||
{{rainbow|WEATHER REPORT IN HELL EASFAGS}} | |||
{{ytseries}} | |||
{{aspies}} | |||
{{Dying_Alone}} | |||
{{takedown}} | |||
{{Timeline|Featured article December 23, [[2010]]|[[The Rent Is Too Damn High]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Satan Claus]]}} | |||
[[Category:People]] | |||
[[Category:YouTube]] |
Latest revision as of 03:49, 24 June 2016
This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
Warning! "Windows will now contact mysterybot to request for the deletion of this page. Ha ha, noobs. this can never be reverted!" |
—Clay posted this before he attempted to blank this page numerous times. |
Clayranger89 (Powerword Clayton Russel Tomaszewski) is a 13 year old autistic Jewtube user from Wisconsin who is a self-described "Fanatic" of the Emergency Alert System. Yes, that's right: The Emergency Alert System. To date, he has uploaded more than 130 videos of his weather radio as it plays out a warning, a blatantly obvious indicator that he not only has no life, but that he also suffers from at least 100 distinct varieties of retarded, fail and batshit crazy. Even Chris-Chan has more understandable mental defects, due mostly in part to the fact that he has been clinically diagnosed as a stupids.
The Emergency Alert System
If you thought Kevin Havens' love of fucking creepy-looking dolls composed entirely of decaying latex and herpes was weird, then you haven't met the load-that-should-have-been-swallowed-by-his-worthless-whore-of-a-mother that is Clayton "OH GOD IT'S THE EAS!" Tomaszewski. However, unlike Kevin's deviant fetish for having his way with helpless Barbie dolls (the only things known to not recoil in abject terror from his very presence), Clayton's love is a public service - something that doesn't physically exist. And if you're doubting us, look below at his lists of things he likes. Clayton is madly in love with something that doesn't exist and will vigorously fight to protect it from insults, because really, who can't love something that randomly interrupts your television program for a weekly test. It is, however, impressive that, despite having his mouth propped open by fucktons of giant niggerdick all day, he manages to speak just coherently enough to make it perfectly clear that this kind of dipshittery is not only incurable, but really funny to watch.
YouTube
Being an asspie, Clay has nothing better to do than sit by his two weather radios literally all day and wait for them to go off. This can be proven by seeing how long 'it takes for the radio to go off from when the video starts. He's even been known to record his weather radio while at school just in case it goes off. Sometimes he misses an alert and throws a temper tantrum like the mal-adjusted cunt he is. His other videos are "reaction videos" to Youtube celebrities like Fred or him desperately trying (and failing) to be random.
Previous Video | Next Video
On September 3, 2010, Clay announced that he was quitting the "war" between him and the trolls so he could move on with his "EAS Life". In reality, he just started school and doesn't have time for the trolls between homework and masturbating to the latest severe thunderstorm watch.
On July 11, 2011, Clay announced his leave of YouTube in a video that attempted to make everybody feel sorry for him. This might be an attempt by Clay to troll the Internet. Or he is just an autistic faggot. Here is that video:
Trolling
Clay hates trolls and will threaten to have your account hacked by his 'friend' Jacob (Who, despite being a 1337 h4ckzor, had his old jacobdallen account hacked in mid-2009, and is now claiming to have been hacked yet again and is blaming it on those damn dirty trolls. Since nothing has happened with the "hacked" account, it's likely he just forgot the password. Jacob claims on his (now "hacked") Youtube page that he "tried to delete all of Encyclopedia Dramatica", as if failing was some kind of accomplishment) if you troll him. Update Jacob has, as of October 12, 2010, claimed that his account has been hacked. The simpler explanation is that since nothing has changed on his account, being the l337 h4cks0r that he is, he simply forgot the password to his Youtube account. You can check out his new channel here: [1] Of course, being a self-important, retarded wad of queerbait, Clay thinks that any comment that doesn't buff his e-peen is trolling. If you comment on enough of his videos he will make a video like the following, showing he is an internet tough guy (and a massive, insecure crybaby). Take account of the high levels of nerd rage and unwarranted self-importance. Notice also how he also threatens to report a user to the FCC for "video theft". The best way to troll him is to ask why he uploaded 100+ videos about the Emergency Alert System or ask why he has a fetish for it.
Hypocrisy
Like all good attention whores, Clayton likes to tell his followers to do things for him, even if he doesn't like it when people do the same things to him. He constantly threatens to hack accounts, while saying in a video directed at the trolls that he is tired of people hacking. His Jewtube channel says "Any form of harassment towards anybody in our group is NOT tolerated," and his response towards anything negative that comes his way is organized harassment from his e-friends. Of course, since many all of his followers are ignorant, narrow-minded, underage twats, their trump card in harassment is, invariably, to call you gay, because they lack the three brain cells required to come up with an original insult.
Clayranger89 is also a clearly dangerous individual who has spread his contamination across all of Jewtube. Here are some notable examples of such dangerous activity:
Encyclopedia Dramatica
As usual with attention whores like Clay, he discovered this page on August 20, 2010 while Googling himself. He then proceeded to, as standard, attempt to blank the page numerous times and failing at it due to MysteryBot. You can remind him of his failure on his user page (remember to leave some pretty pictures to show how much you care!).
Also, since Gayranger is a typical retard, he has made another ED account (with more likely to come), still completely oblivious to the fact that he won't get anywhere with this feeble attempts at vandalism. Have some fun with this, too:
This ED page has caused a shitstorm among the EAS group. Edit wars are imminent, but after everyone is banned it'll all be cleared up.
Clay continues to threaten to call his e-lawyer and file a lolsuit against ED, claiming the page is breaking the laws of "violation of privacy" and "use of pornography". Of course, he put his own personal information on Facebook while lying about his age, meaning Facebook's automatic privacy controls for minors did not affect him. As for the porn? Welcome to the internet!
Showing how much of a true retard he is, Clay's new goal in his mission of taking down ED is to "hack" the almighty MysteryBot, because he's apparently too stupid to realize that only Sysops can delete a page, and that everyone can revert an edit.
—Clay |
Other "hobbies"
When he's not glued to one of his weather radios and masturbating to the latest severe thunderstorm warning, young Clayton enjoys making "robbery" videos with friends who are just as retarded as he is. In this video, Clay takes the opportunity to satisfy his "needs" by patting down an underage girl:
Friends
Clay has a number of paid friends on the internets who all participate in daily circlejerks over the EAS. Many of his friends are more retarded than he is. Here's some examples:
ChristineThePikachu
ChristineThePikachu is a furfag who makes Youtube Poop and is possibly Clay's most retarded friend. She has a severe case of multiple personality disorder and has multiple Youtube accounts that she uses to talk to herself to make it seem like she has friends. If you call her out on this fact, she will claim she has no idea what you're talking about, despite the fact that all of her accounts have the same profile content and that they all f*ck*ng c*ns*r w*rds l*ke th*s.
She claims she's not a furfag despite having a FurAffinity account[2].
Christine's (known) accounts are
- ChristineThePikachu
- ChristineThePikachuA
- MyKidsAreWork, Which she has used to pretend to be her mother/ someone named "Churine"
- BeXlieXve592, supposed to be her mom, Laura Short, she is a butthurt lesbian who takes the internet very seriously. Listed are some of her more thought provoking statements:
"You are harassing my girls that is called Cyberbullying and there are laws about that..Leave my children alone and furthermore i do not give a damn if you know who i am my name is Laura Short..If you are a child and are not old enough to be on here i advise you to stop now!"
lightningbolt99999
lightningbolt99999 is an autistic jew who claims to go by the name Jonny. Through the deductive powers of the Internet, we learn that his real name is [[Beau Mayle]. When he is not molesting the EAS, he enjoys such normal activity like playing the EAS on guitar.
JDart1776
The white knight of the asspies, JDart1776[3] suffers from the fictional disorder known as ADD. Like all people who claim that they suffer from this fictional disorder, JDart1776 also has a case of unwarranted self-importance, caused in part because he claims that he does not need Ritalin, and because nobody respects him: "All I want is respect, that's all.{Yes, I know you were just trying to get my goat}.
EASalert88
EASalert88 (a.k.a User:Emergencyranger88tv and User:3ASA13R788) is one of Clay's butt buddies who often is seen raeging over this very page, usually including him threatening to hack ED to take it down. He is responsible for many of the lulziest quotes to come out of the Clayranger89 drama mainly due to his terrible grammar, trouble with kindergarten-level english, and hilarious threats. His latest threats include leaving the following on this page's talk page:
—EASalert88 |
Worth noting: Prior to leaving that comment and spamming good user's talk pages, EASalert88 threatened to "HACK THE CLAYRANGER89 TALKPAGE AND YOUR TROLL FAGGOTS OF FRIENDS". Cool story bro! Since then, he has gotten around his bans and returned only to blank this page and call it hacking and some retarded attempts at editing.
EASalert88 also believes that the EAS is "ONE OF THE BEST GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING MIRACLE THAT WAS MADE BY THE FCC YOU DAMNED FUCKING EXCUSE OF EAS HATER FAGGOTS" and thinks the following is threatening:
EASalert88 has started up his own wiki in some sort of autistic attempt to... do... something. You can help by filling it with pretty pictures and reminding him of his fail. Nevermind, Wikia got wind of the content of the wiki and shut it down[4].
EASalert88 describes himself on his wiki as so: "Emergencyranger88tv is a tremendously-retarded child presumably living in the dampest, darkest corners of the basement of the local children's mental health clinic in whatever backwater, hick-ass piss-hole of a town the wretched twat might call home. He, among idiots proud of being complete social disgraces such as Clayranger89, most likely sits next to his shitty weather radio all day, masturbating furiously in anticipation of a weather warning or child abduction alert (a clear sign of deviant and abnormal behavior). He is convinced that making pathetic, infantile videos slandering various individuals simply for not being irrationally-obsessed with an irritating radio broadcast is proof that he has more of a life than everyone he is likely to encounter. To make a long story short, he is a worthless waste of life and a rotten wad of jizz that should have been swallowed or aborted by his horrid crackwhore mother instead of being carried to conception, which would have been a great favor to the rest of the world.
Recently, EASalert88 means serious business, as noted by this quote following Gayranger89's leaving the Internet:
More lulz is expected to ensue.
tl;dr EASalert88 is an autistic faggot who enjoys loud buzzing noises.
Bill9929
Moar info: Bill9929.
Bill Peebles, aka Bill9929 was owned when he decided to white knight for Clayranger89, by way of taking down ED. Bill went through all the steps necessary to do this, including setting up his own wiki, and a forums where he and others of a like mindset could collaborate on this noble endeavour. What could possibly go wrong, right? Bill's wiki and forums ended up like so many other sites that attempt this feat.
statefairshows
Tristan Brooks, aka statefairshows, is a hillbilly EAS Fan from Attalla, Alabama who does nothing but sit on his fatass all day, watch some old dumbass Disney Channel shows, and makes retarded "original" music tracks on his outdated iPad, and record EAS. Some people say that he was done with EAS, however, his Youtube channel disagrees, as still to this very day, posts more EAS. Tristan takes the internet life as a place of watching children's shows, chatting with his so called "friends" on Skype, and making useless crappy art and posting on his Deviantart Account, as to add more onto that, he is also a major brony, and has Tourettes Syndrome. HOLY SHIT, MLP AND EAS ARE MIXED APPARENTLY!?!?!?!
Recent Drama
As of this writing, Jacob has come out as a traitor to the EASfags. No srsly. Here is a video of the message that started the recent drama:
While autistic faggotry has always been a focal point of lulz for the Internet, the butthurt has increased ten-fold as nobody trusts one another anymore. A good example of this would include ChristineThePikachu, who made a YouTube channel dedicated to being butthurt faggot. However, she will deny that the channel belongs to her for this reason (as quoted on the channel):
Because of the recent turn of events, ChristineThePikachu is expected to an hero very shortly, and Jacob keeps stating that he's neutral.
Quotes From The Retard Himself
—Clayton, Oh shi-! |
—Clay, proudly flaunting his complete lack of a life. |
Previous Quote | Next Quote
Quotes from White Knights
—Making you mad is sort of the point of all this. Thanks for reminding us how obvious it is that we are succeeding, though. |
—Looks like EASVIDEO88 is butthurt yet again. |
Links
- His main Youtube
- His backup Youtube
- Another Youtube, where he uploads his random-access humor.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000167452684 His FacebookBALEETED!- His shitty premade website
He even made a wiki for himself to cry inBALEETED!
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Clayranger89 is part of a series on Aspies. | [Sperg out] |
Clayranger89 is part of a series on Dying Alone
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Clayranger89 is part of a series on Taking Down ED [Do It Faggot] |
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Featured article December 23, 2010 | ||
Preceded by The Rent Is Too Damn High |
Clayranger89 | Succeeded by Satan Claus |