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3Guys1Hammer

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Murder was the face that they gave me.

This story started back in the summer of 2007, in Dnepropetrovsk, Ukraine, when Igor Suprunyuck, Victor Sayenko and Alexander Ganja otherwise known as the Dnepropetrovsk Maniacs decided that the best way to commemorate their departing childhood was to kill 40 people with hammers, pipes and screwdrivers, and record the whole thing on their phones.

Around the halfway point to their lofty goal, the kids were arrested, and somehow, one of the videos managed to make its way onto the Internet more than a year later on TheYNC.com It was promptly re-upped on goregrish.com, and is probably being touted about Limewire as britney-spears-hot-striptease.avi as well.

Hammer Time

Can't touch this.
The guy got screwed.

The video starts off with 2 men, one trapped under what appears to be...something. Whatever the fuck it is, it doesn't stop repeated hammer-blows to the face. After several seconds of close-ups of what used to be a face and a few discomforting gurgles, a screwdriver is applied to his stomach, then his eyes, and then there's a moment of zen where things just...you're just going to need to click this link. The video is also known as just "The Hammer Video" (Not to be confused with Hammer Film Productions).

An Attempted Translation

NEDM

The following was culled from the Uncover Reality forums: (Click to expand)

Before he starts hitting him with the yellow thing, it's very quiet and mumbled I can't make it out.

(Most of what I'm making out is the camera man, it's very hard to understand the other guy due to poor audio quality and noise)

"Hold on, hold on....Be neater, fuck!" - probably saying that to watch out for the blood.

-Laughing

"Hold on, hold on, hold on, don't hit him, don't hit him.....Watch him *the rest is muffled*" - Psycho fuck is probably telling him to watch how he is bleeding as he zooms in the camera to his face.

-The next part has very bad audio and is very muffled by cans and such. I can make out one or two words but not enough to make out a coherent sentence.

After the screw driver stabbing:

"What?.....With what?" - As he responds to the guy who stabs him

"What, he's still alive?!?" - The guy stabbing him exclaims

The response of the camera man I can't make out perfectly because he's speaking very fast and again the quality isn't the best but I believe he says something along the lines of:

"He's still moving his arms after I ripped up his intestines"

-The stabber says something along the lines of "He's having a fucked up day" as he steps on his stomach.

-More muffled talk as he proceeds to stab him in the eyes with the screwdriver-

"Get over here fast.....Kill him already."

"What?" - Stabber

"Kill him already."

-He says something about his hammer which I believe to be "I already put the hammer back," followed by "He's already dead." - Stabber-

"He's not dead and I already poked out his eyes" - Camera man

-Note: There are mainly two of saying the word "dead" in Russian, they're using a term that is phonetically written as "zdoh," which is a way of saying "dead" when talking about animals and things lower life value, such as criminals (in english, basically the difference between the words 'dead' and 'deceased' in terms of whether you respect something)

"Get the knife" - Camera man

-Proceeds to bludgeon him then interrupts by saying something I can't make out-

"More more" - Camera man telling him to keep bludgeoning him to make sure he's dead, and not so much for pleasure any more.

"Hold on, hold on" - Camera man

-They start walking back to the car-

-More muffled talk from the blond haired piece of shit-

"Wash your hands" - Camera Man

Camera man begins telling him something that I can't make out clearly for some reason but I believe he says "Spray the *name of the chemical*" followed by "I'll hold it," as they started to clean the hammer.

-Muffled talk from the guy washing the hammer- -More muffled talk from the guy washing his face and walking back from his car-

"I stuck the screwdriver in his brain" - Says the camera man

-Muffled talk from the guy washing his hands-

"I got him in the nose from his eye" - Says the camera man *I'm not exactly sure on this one, but I know he says something along the lines of that.

"I don't understand, how was he alive? I felt his brain" - Says the camera man

"I was holding the screw driver like this *muffled/don't understand*" - Camera man

Before the video ends the blond piece of scum says something like "Alright, let's get a picture"

The Internet Reacts

English Media Reaction

Caitlin Moran (more like MORON amirite?), of Britfag news rag The Times, posted an article on the newspaper's website last Thursday detailing her response to the video. Redirect to The Times' article

   
 
I was ... worried that the footage might in some way damage my computer, which I turned off, then unplugged, then covered with a cloth.
 

 
 

Caitlin Moran on overcoming shock

Ms. Moran has since been unavailable for comment, but is thought to be languishing in her hugbox weeping about how the internet is the root of all evil, second only to MC Hammer. It is believed that Ms. Moran spent many years studying Internet Security, as her hasty action in covering the computer with a cloth probably saved at least 100 people from viruses.


3 Guys, 1 Hammer, 1 SD Card

Of course, no good murderous rampage is without its Kodak moments. Below are pictures taken by our ne'er-do-well handymen, doing what they do best: recording fucking everything.

See Also


3Guys1Hammer
is part of a series on
Terrorists
10%

Big Players

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi Anders Behring Breivik Antifa Australians Barack Obama Baruch Goldstein Black Lives Matter Brenton Tarrant Death to Traitors, Freedom for Britain DisruptJ20 George Soros George W. Bush Grog Jack Gilbert Graham John Walker Lindh Marc Lépine Matthew Murray Michael Moore Mohamed Abdulaziz Rashid Saeed-Alim Muslims Osama Bin Laden Patrick Crusius Sharjah Ruler Sam Hyde The Finnisher The Unabrower Timothy McVeigh Unabomber

Terrorist Groups, Beliefs and Causes

Arab Aum Shinrikyo Axis of Evil Binghampton Iran Ireland Islam Israel Maniacs Murder Cult Pakistan Palestine Sudan

Terrorist Actions

1-14 Jakarta Attacks 2017 Saint Petersburg Metro bombing American Airlines Flight 63 Ariana Grande Massacre ATHF Terrorist Attack Beheading videos Binghampton Tet Offensive BLMKidnapping Boston Marathon Bombing Breitscheidplatz Crocus City Hall Massacre Dallas Police Shootings Gaza War Halle synagogue shooting Khalid Masood's Westminster motor massacre London Bridge Attack 2017 Mass Shooting Narcovideos Nice Truck Attack 2016 Nitroglycerin Occupy Wall Street Paris Mass Shooting Pittsburgh Paint Job Pulse Nightclub Massacre Police Brutality Ramadan Van Man Reina Nightclub Massacre Waco WTC

3Guys1Hammer
is part of a series on
Bad things that happen to animals
Basic Concepts [-+]

Animal AbuseBestialityFurryHuntingTaxidermy

Meet the Menagerie:

BadgersBatsBearsBeesBirdsBunniesCalifornia Pet Laws 1/1/19CatsChickensChihuahuasCowsCrabsCrowsDinosaursDogsDucksEaglesFishFoxesFrogsGiant IsopodsOctopusesPandasParakeetsParrotsPenguinsPigsRatsSharksSheepSnakesSpidersTurtlesWalruseWolves

3Guys1Hammer is part of a series on Dying Alone

[DeadCry yourself to sleep]

Those Who Have Died Alone

Aaron AlexisAaron BushnellAaron SwartzAdam LanzaAlexis ArquetteAmanda ToddAmy WinehouseAnal CuntAndy KaufmanAngry GrandpaAnna Nicole SmithAnthony WarnerAsa CoonBrandon CrispBrian AdamsBurntfishieByuuCharmaine DragunCho Seung-HuiChris BenoitChris Harper-MercerChynaCodey PorterDavid BowieDavid CarradineDragoneerEazy-EEdaremElliot RodgerElvis PresleyGeorge SodiniGizgizGleb KorablevGursimran KaurHappyCabbieHarambeH.P. LovecraftHeath LedgerJake DavisonJeff WeiseJewWarioJim MorrisonKate SpadeKitty0706Kurt CobainLemonade CoyoteLeelah AlcornLil PeepLiloLoki BlackfangLowtaxMia JaninMegan MeierMichael JacksonMitchell HendersonMySpaceNathan GaleNikita LytkinOtoya YamaguchiPekka-Eric AuvinenPrinceRandy StairRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRina PalenkovaRipperRobin WilliamsRonnie McNuttRudolph ZurickRyan PalmeterShawn WoolleyShayShuaibySol PaisStephen PaddockSteve StephensThomas Matthew CrooksTony48219TooDamnFilthyTyler DumstorfVester FlanaganWilliam AtchisonXXXTentacionZhao Zewei

Those Dying Alone

03bgood2cash2 gryphon7jackass77A Man in BlackAhuviya HarelAIDS SkrillexAkewsticRockRAlex FordAlison RappAmerica's Third PartyAmy SchumerAndrew AllansonAngry JoeAnimatedJamesAnita SarkeesianAnonymous BorgAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoAntony AguilarApril DavisAquagirlwhitefoxArgent009Arguecat3Arin HansonArmake21AsalieriAsher2500Austin AlexanderAvantGardePonyBambifan101BarneyfagBasement DwellersBen FordBen MoynihanBenny_the_SnakeBenthelooneyBig RedBikerfoxBill9929Bill GaedeBill GatesBLACKbusterCriticBob RehahnBrandontheMovieGuyBrandon SmithBrian MuellerBrian Richard ZaigerBrianna WuBroniesButLovaByAppointmentToCarl the CuckCartoonjunkieCaseydeckerCatboyKamiCheeyevChloe SagalChris-chanChris CrockerChuck M.Clint of Rise and FallCopperCabCorey MargeraCoughlan666CrazyvideosandrantsCrinklemonCyraxxDaniel BrandtDan CilleyDane CookDani FilthDarius McCollumDarknessthecurseDarksydePhilDave ChapelleDave MustaineDavid HockeyDaxflameDBoyWheelerDeekerDeterminedToDrawUTDev-catscratchDGTrixieDiaper BoyDillon CosseyDiogo MendesDisneyFan01DisneyMasterDJ KEEMSTARDnepropetrovsk maniacsDodgerofZionDogpatch PressDon RobertsDoodletonesDoomer3868Dorian_GayDoug WalkerDrakonDrossRotzankDoomentioDustinEDP445Elon MuskEmer PrevostEmosEpic Fat GuyEpicKitty54Eric AbramovEric RidenourErik RibsskogErtasVideosFilthy FrankFagolescentsFanFic CriticFast EddieFat ManFaust & Pory Five Nights at Freddy's fansFlardoxFluffy teh wolfForeverKailynFriends of A-LogFurriesG-ZayGather Against FateGeorge LopezGeosheaGhostGirlvinylGlobelampGoddessMilleniaGraykatGreg MazujianGwen GaleGwen StefaniHarmful OpinionsHellkiller777I Dislike Cis PeopleI Hate EverythingIan Miles Cheongicze⁴rImma-The-DeerInkBunnyIsabella Loretta JankeJamil The KingJessi SlaughterJessica LeedsJim ProfitJINXDROWNEDJoe Crusher PicklesJoekerJohn BullaJohn FieldJohn KricfalusiJohn Patrick RogersJonathan McIntoshJonmonJonTronJoseph CampJoseph8276Joshua "Null" MoonJuggalosJustinRPGKat DenningsKendall JennerKeegan SalisburyKathleen ToddKenny GlennKevin HavensKeffalsKimmo Johan AlmKingEmpoleonKingMasterReviewKrashedLaci GreenLarry the Cable GuyLauren FaustLeafyIsHereLecarickLeigh AlexanderLeisureSuitGamingLena DunhamLeonard F. Shaner Jr.Leslie JonesLifeInATentLikeicareLinkaraLittleCloudLittleKuribohLogo KidsLordelthibarLow Tier GodLucian HodobocM. ChaosMAGAtsManchildrenMar9122MarblesMarioMario456MariotehplumberMarjan SiklicmasteroogwgayMatthew DavisMatthew NicholsonMcJuggerNuggetsMDetector5‎MeowbarkMeganSpeaksMichael BattonMichael FitzhywelMichael GimsonMike SandyMoleman9000Monica PunkMonkeyGameGuidesMoviebobMumkey JonesMuZemikeMylarBalloonFanMysteriousMrEnterMysticArkNaokoElric2250NawlinWikiNeckbeardsNeoGAFNicholas ProsperNick BateNick BravoNikkineko333Noah AntwilerNostalgia ChickNotchNullcherriObjectfagsOFWGKTAOnideus Mad HatterOnyx ForepawPacificoceanasiaPACKGODPaigeGirlPaul FeigPaulie CalafioreParkourdude91Peter BrightPeter CoffinPeter ScullyPhantomStrider8Phil FishPhunWithLogicPinkieponyPit ViperPixyteriPeluchin EntertainmentPMRantsPreachingthegospelQuentin TarantinoRachael MacFarlaneRandi HarperRichard ReidRicki RavenRMG ProductionsRobert StaintonRobert Wayne StilesRockosockoRomeo RoseRootbrianRose3212Ryan RouthSad FrogSammyClassicSonicFanSam PepperSarah ButtsSarahisniftySaturnDOSSceptreSchnookumsSegacampSega KidSeth MacFarlaneSethistoShadmanSimply OkamiSlowbeef & DiabetusSnapesnoggerSonic SaviorSonmanicSony-MaeSophie LabelleSpax3StormySuperlisamcbSusan BoyleTara StrongTheAmazingAtheistTheDOSFagTheOdd1sOutTheSockDetectiveTim BuckleyTJ LaneTodd in the ShadowsTom PrestonToonEGuyTourneyfagsTrey Eric SeslerTrigglypuffTyciolTyler GarmanyUlillilliaThe Unknown AutobotVadeVinceintheBayWade FulpWeatherManKevinWesley!!!WoWfan4lifeWwwareaWeegeeisgoingtokillmXenuriaYandereDevYoshiwii1Youyoungbloodfantasy91Zoe QuinnZone

Their Methods

9gagAdventure TimeAn HeroAIDSAnimuAlt-rightArt SchoolA-Log's Fanfictionask.fmAsperger's SyndromeAssigned MaleBath SaltsThe Big Bang TheoryBattle for Dream IslandBlackLivesMatterBlack metalBody PillowsBonziWORLDBitViewBoozeBullyingBuzzFeedChildren's CartoonsClown WorldComputer Science IIICosplayCumOnPrintedPics.ComCupheadDating SimsDead FriendDeath metalDeath penaltyDeltaruneDeviantARTDiscordDrugsEdginessENAFamily GuyFanFictionFeminismFedoraFidget spinnerThe Filthy Frank ShowFive Nights at Freddy'sFleshlightFriend ZoneFurAffinityFurry ArtFun Shitposting WikiGarry's ModGenshin ImpactGoAnimate!GooglewhackingGorillazGothsGravity FallsGreen DayGreeny PhatomGrindcoreHackingHappy Madison ProductionsHomestuck‎Hover hand‎HufflepuffHigh ScoreIncelcoreIndie musicInfantilismInsane Clown PosseIntrovertInvisible GirlfriendIRCJenkemKiwi FarmsKotakuLeague of LegendsLegoLibertarianismLiveJournalLonelyLoveShyMai WaifuMass ShootingsMen's rights activismMinecraftMLP ForumsMMORPGsMGTOWMUDsMy Little PonyMy Tiny DickNice GuyismNu metalOculus RiftOh ShiternetOnline datingOnline sex gamesOverwatchPlastic CrapPlenty of Fish/r9k/Rick and MortyRobloxRule 34RuneScapeSchool ShootingsSecond LifeSelf-VictimizationShy Boys IRLSilk Screen Goku ShirtSlayerSlipknotSluthateSmogon UniversitySocial JusticeSource FilmmakerSouth ParkSoyjak.partySparkalloonSpeakoniaStar vs. the Forces of EvilSteven UniverseTaking the Internet Too SeriouslyTeam Fortress 2That Guy With The GlassesThe Anytown ShowThe EntersphereThe SimsThey Might Be GiantsTomb RaiderToolTransformersTulpasTumblrTV Tropestwenty one pilotsUnchartedUncle GrandpaUncyclopediaUndertaleUnikittyUTTPVidLiiVirginityVirtual YouTubersVloggerheadsWatchMojo.comWeezerWikimaniaWizardchanWorld of WarcraftYIIK: A Post-Modern RPGYouTube

Featured article December 17, 2008
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JuggaletteJenny
3Guys1Hammer Succeeded by
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