Caveatipse

Caveatipse (power word: Matthew Rosteet Miller) is an impoverished layabout who believes that his idiotic posts on the Internet are worth reading. He likes to pitch himself as the "third greatest troll" based on his tired schtick; this is despite being trolled himself numerous times.

He is now over 40

DEM TITTIES

Matthew Rosteet Miller doesn't want you to use his real name.

PROTIP: Clean the jizz stains off of your shirt before taking a photo of yourself!

	“	Don't assume that some fat, teenage, basement=dweller's ED article is always correct.	„
	—Matt, in the midst of trying to refute this article.

Matt's delusions of grandeur fly right in the face of reality. He is the son of an upper-class father who (rightly) cut him off after being a spoiled brat, yet he claims to be a man of the people. (Then again, his father couldn't spare much money after being sued by the Federal government for bribing a politician to get an oil contract.) He claims to be sophisticated, yet his international travels extend only to New York's Chinatown. He claims to get discounted wine from "the Mafia", yet trolls have discovered he simply orders wine online that's priced as "clearance". He claims to be highly educated, yet has a Master's Degree from a state university in languages — and it took him nearly seven years to get that one degree. He claims to be a bachelor about town, yet lives with his mother.

Matthew pretends to be all sorts of things, from a ghost hunter to a linguist to an heir to a fortune. Everything he says and does is solely meant to promote himself. He has been called to the carpet numerous times for lying and half-truths; when he is caught in a lie, he merely calls the accuser a "stalker" and demands that everybody come to his aid. He generally talks about eating teenage girl's shit all the time and smelling their farts--seriously, this is him.

tl;dr matt is a lazy fat pedo

Forums

Matt's email account. Note all the automated messages.

Matthew, having no real-life social skills, tends to lurk on Internet forums, which he calls "fora" and "forae" as part of his abuse of Greek plurals schtick. Any method of communication, even automated messages and spam, are considered personal and "especially for him" in his autistic mind.

Matt has a longtime enemy, Syntax, an old senile jewish man in his 80s who claims to surf and run 10 miles every day and work for top secret companies doing top secret satellite work. While some of his stories sound implausible, he tells this story about how he first came across Matt. It basically goes that in the late 1990s, Matt was spamming forums and chat rooms with scat sex stories and scat schtick all the time and several owners asked Syntax to stop it. Syntax then found that Matt never changed IPs at the time because this was back before Tor and before a program called TMAC came out that made it easy to change IPs on cable. Matt likely used proxies or something to evade bans since his main IP never changed. So Syntax called Cox Cable who (as they always do) happily give him full dox on Matt and his full internet history (their abuse department always has done this kind of thing). Syntax then had Matt's entire internet history and found that he worked at a school named Sacred Heart teaching French to 12-13 year-old-girls and then the sex stories Matt was posting included the names of his students in the stories. Syntax contacted Sacred Heart and gave them all this proof and Matt was fired and then banned from teaching in the USA ever again. And this is why you see Matt working jobs like restaurant chef and stuff because he's banned from teaching kids. Matt has always completely denied the Sacred Heart incident happened but it is a known fact that he has been spamming the internet with scat schtick for decades. Really Syntax is kind of like senile old Stan Lee who has to make an appearance in every Marvel film crossed with that old man Abraham Setrakian from The Strain who obsessively tries to kill this one vampire. Syntax looks like those two old men too and Matt is always posting photoshops of Syntax as they both obsess over one another.

A brave anon broke into one of Matt's email accounts and found that his inbox had over 700 forum notifications sent in only a few weeks.

Matt has actually had five forums dedicated to his schtick. First DepressionBBS, then Minichan allowed him to post 90% of the threads when it was new, then LAGHOUL, then Scatchan, then peepeeandpoopoochan.cu.cc. Each time he was the poster of honor and each time the administration eventually turned on him.

Pre-Tiny/Minichan

Miller's fecal obsession is nothing new. He has used it to great effect in getting attention before, and he relies on the shock value to gain attention. In late 2007, a series of posts were made to anonyblog.com that trace back to Miller:

Indy the Great is bathing in a giant vat of teenage girlturds (pronounced as one word) when Halifax enters the room. Halifax the Bi-Curious Necromancer and Manservant vomits explosively for five minutes, puts on a hazardous materials suit, then enters.

Also, back when Emma Watson was 13 (around 2001) continuing on until she reached 18, Matt would constantly write elaborate scatsex stories that included himself, Emma, and the rest of the Harry Potter actors joining in (not characters, the actors). He would talk all about her farts, poop, and so on with excruciating details of the taste and smell. Many years later in 2014 Emma Watson came out as a huge feminist and after an introduction from an old Jewish guy gave a big speech at the UN showing she had found Matt's writings and they scarred her for life!

This kind of attention seeking behavior is typical of Miller. For him, there is no negative attention. A response is a response, whether it is amused support, sympathy, or a death threat. Once people have acknowledged his presence, he will do anything to remain relevant.

Left to right: Matt's father Marsden, grandmother Iris, and Matt himself. Not photoshopped.

Matthew Miller's fair and just moderating style.

Matthew Miller, respecting his users' privacy.

One of his methods is forcing memes. He will post an image, and just one image (no variations), over and over again. An example of this is Gunlog, Kimmo's mother. Nobody posts her on the BBSes anymore because DM is obsessed with posting her one picture using shitty tools like FaceInAss (formerly known as FaceInHole). He will create "memes" and post them over and over again because he thinks he is funny, and he will get a response either way.

He spent a number of months trolling the Yarisworld forum under the name "Caveatipse". Trying to register an account on that forum using the name "Caveatipse" will result in an automatic permanent IP ban. No, it doesn't.

Tinychan

Tinychan is the first clone of AnonTalk, founded by Jan Martin after he was unmade as an AnonTalk moderator. The board went through a few different phases before Matthew found the board in late 2009.

Going by the handle Indy The Great, and claiming to be from France, Miller proceeded to become known for his constant drunken shitposting and willingness to camwhore, as well as making outrageous claims that he would have AnonTalk taken down and Kimmo Alm on the run from the law within 6 months with some kind of a secret, /i/ style campaign called "Operation Kimmophile," later renamed to "Operation Gunlimmo." A year and a half later, AnonTalk is indeed gone, but Matt had nothing to do with it.

After Tinychan was switched over to 4chan's servers, he changed his name to Depressionman !qeK7ilt6gI (tripcode: "#mytripcode"), but also posted under the names Bill Cosby and Sharice Turnipseed !pdO.BiWpeg (tripcode: "#ryane").

In early 2010, with a number of the users complaining about his constant posting of drivel and numerous arguments with even the most lenient of the moderation staff, one of the moderators decided to begin banning him on sight. Once word of this got out, Matthew hit a pitch-perfect note playing the victim card and gathered enough support to move over to a similar board, Minichan.

These days, Matt Miller is a "permaban on sight" on Tinychan. Ltamake hates Miller so much that when someone posts Matt's dox on Tinychan, he'll leave them up. This usually leads to lulz such as DMCAs from Matt and spam attacks.

Minichan

Minichan is another AnusTalk shithole clone; it began with a number of butthurt attention whores from the old tiny4chan kept getting banned. It has since matured into it's own unique board, with Miller posting over 90% of the boards content during its earlier months.

Matthew was eventually permabanned from Minichan after, among other things, requesting nude images of underage actors from Disney television shows, but he always begs Beck to unban him. A day later, he will post, "The Official™ Becky's Bodily Functiae Thread. Feel free here to discuss Becky's greasy meatfarts, Becky's sweaty, smelly feet, Becky's garlic burps, etc." and get banned again.

Minichan now shadow bans him. All his threads he makes and replies he makes only show up on his account and IPs used by the account, but to everyone else they are invisible. Viewing a URL to the thread says "thread deleted."

The GHOUL Forum

Another wholesome fetish of Matt's: 13-year-old girls

A few months prior to Matt being permabanned from Minichan, he launched a website devoted to the paranormal, along with a TinyBBS forum. This site was created for the sole purpose of shitposting, as every topic on that board is made by Matt or a sockpuppet account of his. When AnonTalk went down forever, Tinychan mourned the loss of their beloved lolcow, Kimmo Alm, but quickly recovered, setting their sights on Matt. This changed the dynamic of the GHOUL forum greatly. The Tinychan trolls started derailing every topic Matt made. Every time Matt would make a topic admiring some nice material object, such as a laptop or a messenger bag, the trolls would immediately start reminding Matt of his ~$1000 dollars in debts to various members of the community. This caused Matt to rage and ban fucking everyone on a daily basis. One of the inherent problems with AnonTalk style forums, though, is that ban evasion is stupidly easy, and Matt's constant bannings did little to deter the trolls, and some argue it just made their cocks harder. The trolls continued to mercilessly harass Matt until he sold the site to some random faggot from Minichan called Dodongo. After Matt sold the site, he was kept as a moderator, and in the spirit of autistic lolcows everywhere, moderated the board just as harshly as Kimmo, banning any inflammatory posts made against him for being part of a "campaign of hatred." It was about this time that our friend TGcomix returned to the BBS scene to white knight for Matt. Even though he thought he was creating "epic lulz" by "trolling" "Link and his ghey fuckbuddies," he was really only trolling himself.

More recently, Matt said he was quitting the internet and asked to be unmade as a moderator. Of course, no one believed him, as Matt is a pathological liar. Sure enough, Matt didn't go anywhere. This offended the Tinychanners, and they stepped up their game by increasing their trolling of GHOUL, as well as sending Matt pizzas and moving boxes. The anon that sent the moving boxes was immediately threatened with charges of mail fraud by Matt, who impersonated a police officer in a topic, claiming that he could get the real IP address of the anon without even contacting his VPN provider. After failing miserably attempting to defend his honor and fight back against the trolls, he has become quiet on GHOUL, most likely posting anonymously and not using any shtick. Just like herpes, though, Matt will return, and when he does, Anon will be waiting.

GHOUL itself eventually shut down to be replaced by Scatchan, ran by a guy called Scatman who used to obsess over Matt on GHOUL.

Scatchan

Caveatipse living in Kunming China with a single bare lightbulb hanging from a chain on the ceiling.

Screenshot of Matt Miller's funny PM

It's a forum dedicated to human shit, named after human shit, with a human shit icon now refuses posts about poop and farts because they learned to hate Matt. It is run by TGcomix using the name "Josh" who posts constant gay porn (though Matt does too) yet if you post tubgirl, expect a ban!

Around this time Matt moved to Kunming, China to escape tax liens in the USA. He says of the city, "It smells like fermented urine" and that people frequently defecate in the city streets. He's now a staunch Maoist and cringes whenever anyone mentions Falun Gong. He lives in a small motel complex converted into apartments (similar to the pod hotels in Deus Ex: Human Revolution) which is small and with only one lightbulb hanging from the ceiling. He only works part time, is poor, and drives an electric motorcycle which he claims is stolen about once a week. He tried purchasing a hot dog business for more money, but abandoned it when he realized he had to use cat and dogs in his hot dog meat and didn't like that. He also caught tuberculosis and intestinal parasites from Chinese street vendor sewage oil (which contains human shit) and got so sick he nearly died. He also nearly starved to death in a Chinese hospital since in China hospitals don't feed their patients, they expect the person's family to do that

For about two years Matt made elaborate posts on Scatchan about how Xiaoqing Yan was his 14-year-old Chinese girlfriend and that they had sex all the time and ate each other's poop (his fetish). The postings eventually devolved into him talking about catching her cheating on him and then looking at him, and then deciding AFTER she saw him to swallow the other guy's semen rather than spit it out. He then started making posts about how she is pregnant and then later that and then later that the baby wasn't his. But then his old nemesis Lynne B. Goldstein (aka. Syntax) came by and got him busted. Xiaoqing had never been his girlfriend in the first place, and had been someone else's girlfriend the whole time. She was an adult and Matt's coworker who had once thought Matt a friend but he had completely betrayed her trust (like he does everyone, eg. Israel Moulton aka. Eels/Meals). Matt had used photos of Xiaoqing, her boyfriend, and him together and then edited out the boyfriend.

Shortly after the fake girlfriend thing was exposed, he lost his work visa. He never explained why but in China, this happens if you get fired from teaching. He was probably fired for using a co-worker's name and photo to fake his girlfriend.

"PLEASE unban me. This is my last night in Hong Kong. I am broke. I am in a shitty, tiny room with no windows. I was denied a visa. I am depressed and miserable. Please have mercy on my pathetic, miserable life and unban me so I can at least post."

-- Matt Miller in a private message to the moderators on Scatchan

After the fake girlfriend and fake pregnancy saga was revealed as another lie, Matt refused to ever speak of it again. When pressed he'd occassionally make up one lie or another, each lie contradicting the other one. And so he then focused on writing a food blog foodergolove.com which he blogged for about 10 months, and refused to allow any comments with his schtick to be posted. Then in May 2014, he abandoned the blog without any explanation and let the domain expire, too. He has since refused to even speak of it again. He then went on Scatchan and conned money out of lots of people who should know better to the total of $1170 in an investment scam called "The Miller Guide". Most of the donors were the same people who he conned out of money in his Ghost Hunting investment scam. Interestingly, Xiaoqing Yan, the woman he used as his fake girlfriend, now despite being told fully what kind of creep he is, actually donated so much money to this scam that she is his business partner.

He also created a website with a forum. On his forum, anyone who uses his schtick gets all their posts deleted, banned, IP permanently banned, and account itself erased. Anyone who even asks him to make more blogs gets the same treatment. The same goes for any on-topic posts. Even his friends who simply drop by to say hi/hello get the same treatment. That's despite how much he whines over being banned on other people's forums.

Also on that forum, a moderator by the name of SuperNegro (a guy known as Leo Vegas from the Bannedforlife Show who is 100% white and not at all black) years ago used to flirt with a then 15-year-old girl named Triptych (a Canadian immigrant from India in the farmer-caste, a low caste that's shameful to be from in India). Only revealed much later was it that Leo Vegas flew up from Florida to Canada and took her virginity when she was 15. Legally this was rape. Leo Vegas also had a wife and two kids. During the sex he also snuck his condom off without her knowledge. [1] Triptych said allowing him to meet for this was a "shit decision".[2] On Tinychan since then she has made various threads about how she now sleeps around with random people all the time and on Scatchan she once said, "This is disgusting. I mean really, who eats poop? I tried it one time and I threw up like twenty times. Quit being gross."[3] Well so Matt somehow interpretted this in his own way to mean: When Leo Vegas and Triptych met for sex, they had scatsex and ate each other's poop!

Matt's Excessive Camwhoring

Matt Miller posts thousands of images of himself, his apartment, the view from his balcony, his toilet, and his collection of expensive ghost hunting equipment.

He has so thoroughly documented his life and surroundings that even a chimpanzee with Asperger's syndrome who just escaped from the zoo would be able to dox him. This greatly feeds into his paranoid notion that he is being obsessively stalked. By posting one of the below images, you will send Matt into a fit of rage as he will have forgotten having taken the picture himself and will assume that you are his devoted stalker for life.

Trying too hard About missing Pics

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  Fatties and aspies
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  Matt Miller, channeling Chris-chan.
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  HOW DO YOU KNOW WHERE I LIVE??
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  more camwhoring

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

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  Depressionman enjoying his favorite beverage.
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  Hug dem titties
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  Matt's dead grandmother. Spam this image on his forum and make him rage.
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  Someone spams the image (Matt-style) on GHOUL. Matt threatens to kill him at a cafe.
• 
  2...
• 
  3...
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  This was the obligatory reply to any topic Matt made on Minichan.
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  Matt's late grandmother gives a handjob to the world's greatest troll.
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  Matt's shitty meme used against him.

Proof that Matt is a pedo

• Matt's incriminating chat log

Ghost hunting

An example of the quality topics and posts on GHOUL.

Matt's ghost hunting and paranormal site was started by begging for help with web development. Miller launched it along with an ATBBS style forum, bringing several members of the Minichan community over as moderators. Not surprisingly, his naïveté caused the board to shut down twice after trolls snuck in and deleted everything.

Recently, Miller's excursion into the paranormal, and his flailing attempts to garner something of an Internet presence, have hit a snag. After a few tries to present himself as someone with a genuine interest in the paranormal, a big deal was made of Miller's attempts to pass off photographs taken from elsewhere on the web as his own ghost photographs. This followed a previous attempt to pass off long exposure photographs taken by Miller himself as paranormal phenomenon. A number of his stories were called out as lies, and his web of excuses gradually collapsed backward upon him.

At this point, Miller is remaining mostly quiet on the subject ghost hunting. His GHOUL site has sat mostly quiet as late, a toy cast away by a manchild no longer interested in being associated with the lies and embarrassing false hopes it represents. Since his latest attempts to garner attention by pleading for money and hyping fake ghost stories has had to be put on hold for the moment, Miller has returned to the tried and true methods of spamming, begging for money, and failing at both.

"Stalking"

Matt threatens to murder a 15 year old from Michigan.

Matt constantly whines about being "stalked" online. He has posted several long rants about receiving death threats and having his personal life impacted by invasions into his email and online accounts. Small portions of this are no doubt true, as Miller has collected as many irate followers as sympathetic fans. This is Miller playing the victim card to great effect again and blowing a small amount of truth out of proportion.

Matt believes that he is being stalked by a hacker named "sK" and some guy named "JAmes MAthews" (yes, that's how he spells it). Back in early 2009, 2 anons who took the names UltimateCake and sK started a board called "Depressionman BBS". It was originally a reasonably harmless griefing operation geared towards phishing tripcodes. However, a Tinychan mod was dumb enough to use the same password for his tripcode and his Tinychan mod account. sK logged onto Tinychan with the mod's account and proceeded to delete fucking everything. Some tripcodes were found, some email passwords were guessed, but these were scattered events done by bored teens on the web, not as part of some devious, collective effort to ruin Matt Miller. Miller leads people along, leaving openings like weak passwords, read: poopfart, for angry virgins to take advantage of easily. Once he hints at the desired outcome enough and someone takes the bait, Miller has a new crisis to talk about. More importantly, he has a new reason to talk about himself.

	“	I am coming after you, sK, IN REAL LIFE.	„
	—Matt, who is not the stalker.

This is a game that Miller plays all too well, and the victim persona is played to the hilt. He has already enjoys a bit of online sympathy, playing a role that resembles both the outrageous carnival barker who makes the most outlandish and ridiculous claims and the village idiot, who cannot help but do so.

This latest round of manufactured controversy and obviously false claims is simply Miller's latest attempt to stay relevant. The current crowd has come to view Miller as eccentric and harmless, but the interest and outrage have died down too much for him.

Matt's "stalkers" include the following:

DEF, a.k.a. Lynne B. Goldstein

• Claim: stalked him nonstop, apparently by teleporting himself from California to Louisiana. Matt supposedly sued him for $1000.
• Fact: talked shit like everybody else did, but in true aspie fashion Matt became fixated on him. Matt only got his dox by begging site admins for information, which adds extra lulz by making Matt look like a wimp who can't even fight his own battles.

sK, a.k.a. JAmes Mathews:

• Claim: stalked him nonstop, apparently by teleporting himself from Michigan to Louisiana. Matt supposedly used his "mafia connections" to put a hit out on him.
• Fact: set up a BBS for Matt while pretending to be somebody else, then decided to shut it down and dumped all the collected tripcodes. Matt was subsequently blamed, but he played the victim card and claimed sK was some kind of a super hacker who got them from every other site on the web. Matt also blames sK for not being admitted to a PhD program. The story goes that someone hacked Matt's email and sent gay porn to the professor who was recommending him for a PhD program. Matt's email is constantly hacked because he used easy secret questions and answers like "What is 2 + 2 in French?" and his passwords were from his schtick.

Timber Nigger:

• Claim: stalked him nonstop, apparently by teleporting himself from Alabama to Louisiana. Bribed an apartment worker to stalk him by proxy. Matt supposedly had the apartment worker fired and now has a global investigation ongoing to find Timber Nigger's real name.
• Fact: just doesn't like Matt. Boo-hoo. Matt is so mad that even years later, Matt sometimes gets angry and talks about how Timber dropped out of high school without getting a GED and cleans his mom's bedpan.

Ryan Eldridge:

• Claim: stalked him nonstop, apparently by teleporting himself from New Jersey to Louisiana. Set up Matt's "ghost hunting" site, but only to continue to stalk him. Matt supposedly used local mobsters to harass him.
• Fact: made Matt's website for free, and even bought the domain and hosting for him. Shut it down after Matt refused to pay.

Israel Shane Mouton (Eels/Meals):

• Claim: stalked him nonstop, apparently by pretending to be his friend. (Are you seeing a pattern yet?)
• Fact: made one of Matt's forums for free, and got nothing in return so they had a falling out and Eels hacked shit.

Dox

Now you can be a stalker too!

• Name: Matthew Rosteet Miller
• Online profiles
  • Amazon profile — Why he's poor.
  • Battlecam profile — He actually thought he was going to be paid for doing this shit.
  • ChipIn — Matt pretends to raise money to teach children in Africa.
    • (Since Matt isn't as good of a con artist as his father was, he, of course, got no money.)
  • deviantART profile — OOH SO CREATIVE
  • eBay profile — Closed after he stopped paying for things.
  • OkCupid profile — He's still alone, LOL.
  • Janmartin — Matt's ED account.
    • Blanked this page twice with "This page is currently under investigation and will remain so for the foreseeable future." and "This page in involved in a lawsuit and is being monitored by law enforcement.".

How to troll Matt

• Go to his forum and spam links to this page or to his dox page. He will either enable DEFCON 4 (no ID creation) or blame it on ltamake.
• On his forum, troll topics about his supposed Rwanda expedition. Improvise if you need to.
• Make up a fake African language (with some African-sounding name) and say that it's a "long-lost" language. Make fun of Matt for not knowing it. He will either pretend that it exists or ask how to learn it. This generates a lot of lulz.
• This one is for the daring and brave: go along with his schtick. But use it more than he does. Make it annoying even to him.
• Spam his family members' names. He will rage about you being a stalker and might even threaten to kill you.
• Mention how his father is a dirty con-man: http://cases.justia.com/us-court-of-appeals/F2/952/866/367365/.
• Mention how HE is a dirty con-man by begging for money.
• When Matt claims to be French, remind him that he is an eleventh-generation descendent of John Minor.
• Threaten to kill him.
• Actually kill him.

Oh yeah, he mad.

Quotes

	“	"All that aside Matt is happy to tell everyone he lives in poverty and eats food cooked often in poop. He has even said he finds that food tasty. So if Matt is happy living in filth and eating poop -Everyone here knows that is what makes Matt happy. Of course poop eating Matt will use the cop out that..."	„
	—Syntax, an elderly jewish man who is Matt's arch-nemesis, https://archive.is/20150610061954/https://www.scatchan.net/topic/37466

	“	The thing about Matt is... Matt has many people who hate him and only a few who support him and treat him as a friend. Everyone who supports and treats Matt as a friend, he backstabs. Of the few people who defend Matt, not only does he never defend them back, but he will publically attack them. He will also scam money from them. Matt will also constantly mod abuse them and what does he delete but none other than when they show appreciation for his schtick. The same schtick most people attack him for. People who treat Matt as a friend will post a girlturd joke or talk about defragmenting their Kindle™ and Matt specifically targets these to delete. This shows that Matt doesn't even like his own schtick. In fact he hates it. He posts it only to harass those who hate it too.	„
	—Eels, one of Matt's many ex-friends that he betrayed

Writings

Indy the Great sits high atop his turd-throne (pronounced as one word), in the throneroom (pronounced as one word), high atop the Arc-de-Triomphe (pronounced in French), above Paris-city (pronounced as one word). His army of the minia of his undead-skeleta (pronounced as one word) wait below, in joyful admiration of their Great Leader, and in eager anticipation of the great assault on the Kovert Kody Klan Kave Komplex. They are becoming rather nauseated by the smell emminating from the Arc-de-Triomphe (pronounced in French) fortress, and they are thirsty for the blood of the Kodybear and the Magogo. But they wait, for they are Indy the Great's mindslaves (pronounced as one word).

Up in the throneroom (pronounced as one word), Halifax the Necromancer and Manservant, Ghostservant Leroy Cleophus Washington, and His Perfectness Indy the Great, are in a somber conference.

So, Halifax, is it true? Has the Kodybear really been elected President of the US in the latest Congressional elections? How is that possible?

Vote rigging, your Gorgeousness Sexiness Hotassness.

STOP that Halifax! Just come out of the closet already!

I am not gay, Lord.

Then you must be bi-curious (pronounced as one word) at least!

Halifax blushes and remains silent, while Ghostservant Leroy speaks up.

Heeeeeee duuuuuuuun riiiiiiiiiiig de elekshuuuuuuuuuuuns maaaaaaaaaaaaassaaaaaaaaaaaaahh...

I thought as much. That Bear will go to any lengths to be in power. Now, Halifax the Bi-Curious Necromancer and Manservant, have you any new developments in your quest to find a supernatural power wherewith to imbue the skeleta, to resist the Magogo's 500,000 stolen Russian tanks?

I am pleased to say I have. I have found an ancient, dark magicical spell, created by the Dark Gods and Demons themselves, in the dawn of time! *Halifax begins to wax eloquent in a British Thespian accent* It shall protect them magically against harm, and verily shall the war machines of our nemesis have no power against them!

That is enough, Halifax. The accent sounds fake.

Yes, your Lickableness.

Stop that! Now, Ghostservant Leroy, about those stinkbombs that smell like the manfarts (pronounced as one word) of Mr. FATMouth Post Deleter, aka Rickly Finklestein, a fat, bald, hairy, 40 year old man who lives in his mom's basement. Have you planted them, along with the taunting message all in Latin and pronounced as one word, in the heart of the Kovert Kody Klan Kave Komplex?

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeesss....maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh...

Very good. Then, Halifax, you must begin immediately to cast this spell on the skeleta. You are sure it will protect them from the tanks?

It is most old, dark, and powerful magic. It shall keep them safe from any manmade (pronounce as one word) machine of war, your Sodomyness.

See also

• Girlfartlover -- a similar pedo with a fetish for girlfarts
• AnonTalk
• Minichan
• Tinychan

External Links

• Matt's new food reviewing site, with a forum
• Matt's blog, domain foodergolove expired mid 2014 a few months after he abandoned it.
• Matt's former English teaching forum, now abandoned

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Caveatipse is part of a series on Dying Alone [DeadCry yourself to sleep] Those Who Have Died Alone Aaron Alexis ☠ Aaron Bushnell ☠ Aaron Swartz ☠ Adam Lanza ☠ Alexis Arquette ☠ Amanda Todd ☠ Amy Winehouse ☠ Anal Cunt ☠ Andy Kaufman ☠ Angry Grandpa ☠ Anna Nicole Smith ☠ Anthony Warner ☠ Asa Coon ☠ Brian Adams ☠ Brandon Crisp ☠ Byuu ☠ Charmaine Dragun ☠ Cho Seung-Hui ☠ Chris Benoit ☠ Chris Harper-Mercer ☠ Chyna ☠ Codey Porter ☠ David Bowie ☠ David Carradine ☠ Dragoneer ☠ Eazy-E ☠ Edarem ☠ Elliot Rodger ☠ Elvis Presley ☠ George Sodini ☠ Gizgiz ☠ Gleb Korablev ☠ HappyCabbie ☠ Harambe ☠ H.P. 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