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John Kricfalusi: Difference between revisions
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Revision as of 18:13, 9 April 2018
John Kricfalusi,John K., or John KKK. since people are too stupid to spell right anyway, is a washed-up hack animator, who thanks to his constant whining about Tiny Toons and Drawn Together, he has been kept in the spotlight.
Rise to Fame
About 100 years ago Kricfalusi was born in the Land of Bagged Milk. Although he aged physically, he never actually grew up, so he went to art school. After graduation he was "traumatized" by being forced to work on shitty 80s cartoons. Legendary animator Ralph Bakshi noticed that John K. was miserable and rescued him from the horror of having to animate HB's Kiddy 80s line up. Together, Bakshi and Kricfalusi developed a new version of Mighty Mouse, which although supposedly a hit lasted only two seasons due of the animation crew pushing allusions that were too daring for children, such as Mighty Mouse sniffing cocaine.
After failing at this venture, Kricfalusi went on to create what was to become his biggest success (by default), Ren and Stimpy. Not surprisingly, Kricfalusi was so hard to work with that he was fired as director for the show so Nickelodeon could continue to profit from the show without having to put up with his bullshit. This embittered him so much that after that point he could say nothing good about anybody else in the animation industry. In 1994 he ghost-wrote an article for some shitty animation magazine, blasting the then-new show Animaniacs, despite the fact he had not seen it. John K. was one of the first person to make shitty internet flash cartoons, since he found that nobody would pay him to make regular cartoons anymore.
Bitterness
John KKK soon found work doing commercials for Old Navy and making shitty internet cartoons. In 1997, Matt Stone and Trey Parker made a show called South Park, they stole not only his thunder, but his idea about a piece of poop that talks (which is the most original idea EVER and how dare they steal it). Johnny-Boy got all mad and sued, but everyone realized his cartoons sucked. He then got Fox Kids to air The Ripping Friends, but was over the head of the 8-year-old boys who were addicted to Power Rangers and Sonic. Butthurt and distraught, he made a new version of Ren and Stimpy without anyone who worked on the orignal show, which aired after a shitty cartoon about Pamela Anderson as a superhero. In 2000 he and his minions produced Boo Boo and the Man, an horrible Yogi Bear spin off in which it is constantly implied that Yogi is in fact a child molester who rapes Boo Boo. Boo Boo also gets his ass and tales shaven before he beaten up. Very classy stuff, as you can see!
He now runs a blog where he whines about how even old Tom and Jerry cartoons are better than Family Guy, and shows off his shitty Hanna-Barbara toy collection. He also hates anything made in the last 50 years that is not his stuff or Beavis and Butthead, or anything made by Ralph Bakshi, or Jamie Hewlett, or Bruce Timm, or pre-Scooby Doo Hanna Barbara cartoons, or Genndy Tartakovsky, or the WWE.
It should be noted that, although John Kricfalusi is in fact a creepy, selfish, emotionally arrested manchild, this is neither unusual among his profession, nor is it even the primary reason he pisses so many people off. Most of the friction originates from the massive butthurt received by other emotionally-arrested manchildren, who unlike John K. are too stupid and lazy to turn their faggotry into a profitable venture, when he insists the trash we all watched as children, such as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Transformers, was both bland, corporate dog shit, and from the perspective of the animator, not at all fun to make. The reality is noone gives a shit when he whines about Family Guy, or when his own cartoons turn out even worse; it's only when he happens to encroach on their blind nostalgia for the most culturally barren years in human history that people stop wetting their Power Rangers bed sheets long enough to take notice. Startled, like Arab clinging to their heathen religion they look for anything they can use to defend the only thing that gives their lives meaning, and start spouting insane bullshit like "Looney Toons weren't all that great" from the sanctum of darkened rooms filled to the ceiling with Space Jam toys, not because it's true, but because they're willing to deny reality to spite a single person.
Ways to troll John K.
- Telling him that you used to enjoy Scooby-Doo or that you still kinda like the character.
Telling him that you enjoy anime, any of it. The fucker despises Japanese animation.(420)- Telling him that Disney is a better studio than Warner Brothers
- Reminding him that Pinocchio is considered to be the greatest animation film of all time
- Reminding him that he has zero writing
- Reminding him that Ren & Stimpy Adult Party was a piece shit (Because it was)
- Point out the fact that Bob Clampett's colleagues hated him. [1]
- Tell him Iwao Takamoto was a better Hanna-Barbera character designer than Ed Benedict.
- Telling him that Looney Tunes is unfunny
- Telling him you ever enjoyed an animation done in 3D, or anything made after 1963.
- Tell him your favorite Ren & Stimpy episode was one Bob Camp directed.
- Ask him if he is a closet homosexual.
- Telling him that, despite what he and his retarded fans think, you didn't watch shitty animated movies as a kid because your mom forced you, but because you liked them
- Telling him that the world is not fucked up because today's cartoons are bad
- Suggesting him to go out and breathe some air
- Telling him the fucking truth, that Ren and Stimpy, George Liquor, all the crap he thinks it's good animation, sucks nigger jew balls
- Telling him that cartoons are not motherfucking serious business, and no one cares about cartoons being shitty
- Ask him why he and his 'Kids' can't draw on-model
- Telling him that Friz Freleng is the best Looney Tunes director ever
Oh MOLESTO
For 30+ years the fucks of Hollywood muttered about John's creepy interest in underaged girls. He even joked about it on Howard Stern's show for crissakes. All the shit caught up with him in 2018 when two of his insane fans claimed he liked them a little bit too much. AND OF COURSE we heard about this on the Steaming Internet Turd called BuzzFeed:
Not only did this sick fuck fondle little girls in his prime, but he's still doing it today
Some tweets covering John's most recent sick fuckery posted after he got Chris Hansen'd
See Also
External Links
| John Kricfalusi is part of a series on Dying Alone
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