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Matthew Livelsberger

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The subject of this article is a virgin with rage.

Matthew Livelsberger
Born July 22, 1987
Died January 1, 2025 (aged 37)
Nationality: Americunt  
Highscore Injured 7
Top 50? FUCK NO!
Style Bomberman, Single player
An Hero? Yes
Motive Liberalism
Butthurt
Boom goes the dynamite.

Matthew Alan Livelsberger was a henpecked 37-year-old Master Sergeant in the Jewnited States Army's Special Forces who, on January 1, 2025, decided to start out the current year with a bang by renting a Tesla Cybertruck, filling it with a fuckton of fireworks, gas tanks and camping fuel, parking it outside one of Donald Trump's hotels in Las Vegas and then detonating it while he was still inside. Before the detonation completed, Matthew shot himself in the head with a handgun like a coward rather than die in a fiery blaze of glory like a true warrior. The resulting explosion afflicted seven people with non-serious injuries, forced the hotel to be evacuated, and blew Livelsperg into 72 pieces of cuck virgin that will inevitably be given out to the next Mujahideen to orchestrate such a retarded attack.

Following the attack, the Jew-run liberal media quickly rushed to portray Liversberger as a Trump supporter despite the fact that he was registered as a "No Labels" voter - a Democrat-run scam of a political party that was made with the sole intention of preventing Donald Trump's re-election and ascension to the Godhand. Livelsberger's ex-wife, Sara Livelsberger (née Wilson), was also a well-documented shitlib, pitmommy and Bernout who absolutely despised Donald Trump.

In reality, Livelsberger most likely carried out the attack on behalf of the domestic terrorist organization "White Dudes for Harris" because he was severely butthurt that America didn't elect a mentally retarded mixed-race female as President. In an ironic twist, Livelsperg's decision to use a Cybertruck in the attack backfired spectacularly as the autist-developed sperg tank managed to contain the blast while suffering minimal damage. Had literally any other vehicle been used, the attack most likely would have had a far higher death toll.

The Attack

Aftermath

Initially it was suspected that this attack may have been related to New Orleans truck attack that happened earlier that day. Both perpetrators weaponized vehicles for terrorism on the same day mere hours apart from each other. Additionally both cars were rented from Turo, a company that lets people pimp out their cars. They were also both in the United States army and served in Afghanistan. Subsequent investigations, however, revealed that both perpetrators were unconnected from one another and acted alone.

   
 
The evil knuckleheads picked the wrong vehicle for a terrorist attack. The Cybertruck actually contained the explosion and directed the blast upwards. Not even the glass doors of the lobby were broken.
 

 
 

Elon Musk, glazing himself.

   
 
Matt was a very skilled warrior, and he would be able to make — if it was him, and if he did this — he would’ve been able to make a more sophisticated explosive than using propane tanks and camping fuel. He was what you might call a ‘supersoldier.’ If you ever read about the things he was awarded, and the experience he had, some of it doesn’t make sense, when he had the skills and ability to make something more, let’s say, ‘efficient.’ His skills were enormous from what he had been taught in the military.
 

 
 

Matthew's uncle, severely underestimating the stupidity of his nephew.

Graded Score

Graded Score
Kill count: 0/20 Only killed himself, 7 injured.
Accuracy: 0/20 Barely destroyed his own car bomb.
Style: 5/20 Butthurt over Trump.
Butthurt: 10/20 Simultaneously overshadowed and limelighted by the New Orleans attack.
Bonus: 0/20 Epic Fail.
Total Score: 15/100 (F-)
Couldn't stump Trump.
See full ranking

Wanted Level:

Federal Bureau of Investigation


Who The Fuck Was This Dork?

See Also

External links

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