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Shiny Pidgey
The Copypasta
Hey /b/, I have a very serious problem. I'm fucking crying because of how stupid I am.
Okay, so my girlfriend was supposed to come over to my house today because I was going to go take her to a movie. She lives about 20 minutes away, and the movie we were supposed to see started at 4:15, which was in about 40 minutes. I figured "cool, I'll just play Pokemon while I wait".
So I'm playing Pokemon, and having a pretty damn good time. Anyway, she finally does show up, except she's crying as she walks into my room. Instead of doing the right thing by comforting her, I half-focus on my game and her. She starts telling me her cat died, and just as she was getting into it, I get into a random encounter in my game.
A shiny pidgey. Holy shit. (For those of you who don't know/care, shiny Pokemon have less than a 1/1,000 chance of appearing; 1/8192 to be exact.). I stare into my screen in amazement, yelling "holy shit, YES", interrupting her mid-story. She sobs more, and she starts to yell "You don't even fucking care! YOU JUST WANT TO PLAY YOUR FUCKING GAME!" I'm still looking at my screen, still focusing on catching my shiny Pidgey, when she walks over, and tosses the game against the wall. I run over and pick up my DS hoping that nothing has changed on screen, and quickly noticed that she broke it. My system and my shiny Pidgey, gone forever.
I start screaming every obscenity I know, and started flailing my arms around. I didn't know she was behind me, and apparently I backhanded her in the face while I was being a dumbass and swinging my fists around. She yells out "FUCK YOU", and runs out of my house in tears.
What have I done? I've fucked up so badly, and I need to know how to approach her. I don't want a game of Pokemon to be responsible for ruining my best relationship ever. Help me, /b/.
(note: /b/ is not your personal army, nor a personal red cross for pokefags)
The Moral of the Copypasta
Girlfriends and Shiny Pidgeys don't mix. If you happen to encounter a shiny pidgey, you and your ever-so-perfect love life is going to die. If you have a shiny Pidgey, you probably DON'T have a girlfriend, on the basis that you probably are a basement dweller that plays Pokemanz, has a gameshark, or lieks to hit girlfriends.
If your boyfriend encountered a shiny pidgey, he is going
to ignore you and then slap you for being a bitch and breaking his DS.
No girl is gonna read this as there are no women on the interwebs you fucking faggot. Realfags have boyfriends, you bloodfart.
Important Notes
Shiny Pidgeys are responsible for 88% of all Domestic Abuse charges.
It has been proved scientifically that the best solution for this kind of problem is to have a shiny girlfriend who doesn't own a cat. Then again, the only way to kill them is to use Magickarp
Wishlist
A Shiny Cat Is Fine Too
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Frustrated by their inability to catch a Shiny Pidgey, the great scientific minds of the world have spent recent years attempting to splice fluorescent pigments into the DNA of various animals in order to produce an IRL Shiny. Fortunately for the lulz - although possibly unfortunately for the survival of the human species - this is really true[1]. |
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Now pussy is easier to find in the dark! -
Shiny Mice, for Shiny Cats to chase. -
Also, Shiny Cocks. Evolve into Shiny Dongcopter at level 24. -
Shiny Condom. $24.99 a pack, and comes with a glowing sex position to read off your cock on each one. Helping retards to break their necks since 2005. -
So close -
FINALLY! IRL Shiny Pidgey! -
Another?
 Shiny Pidgey is part of a series on Pokémon [Who’s that Pokémon?] | |||||||
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Shiny Pidgey is part of a series on Visit the Memes Portal for complete coverage. |