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The Hand of Dios

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Pretty much sums it up
WTF IS THIS SHIT, IM NOT EVEN URU"GAY"AN

The Hand of Dios refers to a heroic game-saving handball by Uruguay forward Luis Suarez (AKA the cannibal) in the closing moments of their 2010 World Cup quarter final match against Ghana. After Ghanian striker Sambo black person flubbed the resulting penalty kick, the match went to a penalty shootout which Uruguay pwnt. Like Diego Maradona of Argentina's famous Hand of God goal against England in the 1986 World Cup, his reflexes were a direct result of divine intervention--since God hates niggers. For this act of heroism, he was immediately red carded by the nigger-loving ref and will miss the next game.

Impact

Like father like son

Uruguay's national football team (the whitest team outside of Spain) became heroes on July 2, 2010 by knocking out the last remaining African team in an African cup. Before that, they destroyed the hopes of the host nation, South Africa, by giving them a 3-0 drubbing. When only 1 of the 6 African nations made it to the second round (again, in a cup hosted in Africa), Ghana became the last hope of this fucking obnoxious continent.

Those responsible for this crime

Uruguay toyed with Ghana, allowing them to survive regulation. In the last play of extra time, noted megatroll, Luis Suarez, did an intentional handball to save his team's hopes. He was martyred with a red card, and millions expected Ghana to make the penalty shot to secure a slot in the top 4. But they missed. Uruguay's goalkeeper kissed the crossbar as a piece of metal joined the Troll Africa Club. It should also be noted this was the FIRST FUCKING TIME the vuvuzelas shut up. Uruguay would go on to win in a shootout, as noted ugly man Sebastian Abreu bunted a kick in.

Scientists are expecting vuvuzela usage to go down 20%.

Gallery

Traditional songs

no more ghanaians for our cup
we're not for integration!
ruining that annoying continent
gives soccer fans elation!
our world cup got along just fine
until those irritators
made their vuvuzelas whine
as third world agitators
they'll go back home in a sad state
and bring AIDS back to their pools
the vuvuzelas blow no more
what a bunch of fools.

Doing it wrong

See also


The Hand of Dios

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