Knife

a Knife is a tool used by Emos to cut themselves with. In the English language, many adjectives can precede it, such as shiny, pointy, sharp, cool, long and jagged. It is regarded by apes as a tool of torture and a weapon of mass destruction. This means that a terrorist, previously known as George W. Bush, can use this implement to wreak havoc on the face of the Earth and transform Tom Cruise into an evil alien preaching Scientology. Among other uses, it can:

To our delight, cut, slice, chop and dice things into minuscule pieces when they get too big, long or wide.

Spread butter, milk, eggs, semen, mud and other weird and wonderful things on bread.

Kill people when they are in our way or look like terrorists or the bogeyman (spare me if I am repeating words).

Torment people.

Lets you run faster.

Cut yourself in grief.

Can be used as a supplement weapon to attack your school if daddy locked his guns up. See: Alex Hribal

Be used as a weapon for hacking at women's bellies (also known as jelly tank) to steal their belly button, or perform abortions.

Niggers use knives to rob white people of their hard earned cash, or...
- To cut the head off of chikins before eating them. It should be noted that niggers never waste a single part of the chicken and that the head is used in voodoo rituals, in which they cast spells for more chicken.