Ethan Miller

The subject of this article is a virgin with rage.

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Ethan Blair Miller
Born	October 31, 2001
Died	August 28, 2022 (aged 20)
Nationality:	Americunt
Occupation	Grocery store employee
Highscore	Killed 2, injured 2
Top 50?	Nope
Style	FPS, Single player
An Hero?	Yes
Motive	Kicks & Thrillz

Ethan Blair Miller (a.k.a. WrathOfMan22) was a Columbine-obsessed maniac with pent-up virgin rage from Bend Over, Oregon, who went postal at a supermarket so he could be with his imaginary soulmate when he inevitably an hero'd at the end. Originally, Ethan Miller wanted to emulate a school shooting at his old high school at Mountain View High School when the first day of school rolled around (Zero Day: Sep. 8) yet was so timidly impatient that he decided to pull a fast one on his workplace at a Safeway instead. This change of plans was not all in vain however as the CCTV footage of the attack is probably the second-best video of a supermarket rampage to ever be released to the public. Miller staved his anger exclusively on the most Columbinesque music imaginable such as KMFDM, Disturbed and especially Nine Inch Nails, so much so that he even titled his manifesto, "The Downward Spiral of Ethan Miller", after one of their albums. His manifesto was a private document written within Wattpad and received entries from June 29th to August 27th; its contents are half misanthropic rambling and half song lyrics. Before the COVID lockdowns, Miller enjoyed fixating his anger into mixed martial arts and he attributes the lockdowns as an extremely formative event to him; thus going to show that the real danger during the COVID pandemic wasn't the disease itself but the killers that its mishandling has procured.

Loadout

Class Setup
Item	Accessories/Bonus
Primary: Radical Firearms RF-15 AR-15–style rifle	60-90 damage
Secondary: 12-gauge Stevens Model 320	100-120 damage
Tertiary: Sawed-off Remington 870	(unequipped) 80-130 damage
Thrown: Molotov cocktail x3	They never seem to use these, do they? Deals passive fire damage.
Perk: Columbiner	Double damage against kids and adults, triple if they are in an academic institution. Intelligence stat cut in half.

Day of Fun

Ethan Millard initially began buying up guns in secret with the intent to shoot up his old high school but settled for going postal at his workplace at the local Safeway because the build-up of rage was making him too timid to wait. Alas, Ethen Miller started his mission by occupying his two inventory slots with his AR-15 and 12 gauge shotgun, leaving the sawed-off shotgun and the molotovs behind. He then proceeded to increase his awareness meter by applying three bullet holes to his car and then shooting at a bunch of random shit on his way to the Safeway. He injured the driver of a moving black Honda Civic with glass and shrapnel as he shot through the passenger-side window, but didn't shoot at it long enough to trigger an explosion as vehicles are known to do. He then stopped for a side quest shooting into the windows of an adjacent store before getting on with it. Upon reaching the entrance, he fired 5 rounds into a Korean War veteran displaying the gamertag Glenn Edward Bennett, whose health was eventually depleted because he couldn't find any healies. Proceeding further into the store, Millard begins firing a bunch of free-flyers down the aisles. Now making his way down the meat aisle, he finds a man lying on the ground and fires a round next to him just to fuck with him but doesn't kill him, then proceeds to make a glass-shattering spectacle shooting at refrigerators further down the aisle in pursuit of maximum destruction. Then suddenly out of nowhere, A challenger appears! A small-town hero named Donald Ray Surrett Jr. (who is a sex-offender btw) lounged at him with a produce knife in an attempt to disarm him and was partially successful, forcing Millard to drop his shotgun. Unfortunately for Surrett, he still had his backup rifle which he used to incapacitate Surrett. Millard picked his shotgun back up and gave him a double whammy of it. Finally, Millard leaves the rifle behind and immediately gives himself shotgun mouthwash the moment cops charge into the building, ensuring his an hero bonus points. The visceral volcano effect can only be imagined, but it must have been spectacularly ejaculative.

Curated gameplay footage released by the police.

Graded Score

Graded Score
Kill count:	2/20 2 injured
Accuracy:	1/20 Fired 100+ rounds. Literally just dilly dallying with his ammo supply.
Style:	10/20 Just for the hell of it.
Butthurt:	1/20 "thoughts and prayers"
Bonus:	10/20 an hero
Total Score: 23/100 (F)

Mr. Self Destruct See full ranking

Wanted Level:

Police Force

Gallery

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  Miller in happier times
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  Three holes that Ethan Miller shot into his own car.

See Also

• Patrick Crusius
• Payton Gendron
• Pekka-Eric Auvinen
• Randy Robert Stair

External Links

• TOW coverage
• WPD coverage
• The Downward Spiral of Ethan Miller

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