Super Columbine Massacre RPG!

This article is ancient history. You can help by reliving the moment.

The violent game about the violent incident that was caused by violent games.

In 2005, this RPG game based on the media's presentation of Columbine was made available for free download on the internet. It was named because it's apparently just like Super Mario RPG, except for the weapons and ultra-high polygon count. Both factors blow Doom III out of the water. Super Columbine Massacre RPG! became an instant hit and classic. Unlike the movies, the game hints at the killers' having been rabid Matrix fans. Otherwise, it has a lot of the same misrepresentations and omissions.

Columbin (the maker of the game) goes on at length about "artistic freedom" and his "deep" intellectual prowess by making a game that would be surpassed by anything on a super nintendo and features characters mostly taken from other video games which all builds up to a climatic scene showing two dead an heroes. He also made a terrible documentary in an attempt to make the game look more important than it is.

Everyone threw a shitfit when it was released on the anniversary of the massacre, because apparently an RPG game that reportedly took 200-300 hours to make is not as thoughtful a memorial gift as a bunch of crosses being burnt because bigoted people happen to hate victims who might be Christians. Then again, if it took 200-300 hours to download a load of textures and sprites from RPG maker websites and slap together under an hour of poor quality gameplay then any criticism is well deserved.

According to the game's creator, it should make us want to discuss the effects of Columbine and get the world thinking more about why Harris and Klebold did what they did, and how we can achieve a future strawberry-scented world where everyone lives in ice-cream castles in the sky. Some even suggest that the game makes some creepy emo statement about something being truly fucked up, mayhaps even evil in Middle America.

Others ignore it or just enjoy playing it for the lulz.

While some enjoy the simulation of events, like how the majority of the game is spent in hell fighting creatures from Doom, most people take one look at the screenshot everyone knows and loves, declare it a blasphemous pile of twatrot, and continue to lobby for gun control, censorship in videogames and popular music, and bans on wearing trenchcoats in school. Clearly, we're on the right track.

One of the sick bastard emo fans on the site has been working on a "special edition"; you can read the discussion of how it will feature Cho Seung Hui here. Beta versions of the new one are available if you really want to suffer. The original is playable.

Playing Columbine

Very misleading. It is a documentary about the media response to the game, which was a response to the media response to the mass murder, in response to the mass media and a game. The entire fucking movie was really just him bitching about how much attention he thought he got and how he did not make any money off the Columbine Massacre.

Super Gay Fellatio RPG

If you'd like to talk directly with the creator of SCMRPG, his AIM is DannyLedonne. Here's some examples of the faggotry encountered talking with this master of artistic expression by less serious business creator of V-Tech Rampage.

DannyLedonne: Just wanted to say that you don't have to insult me.  You're one of the few people that
 can actually understand what I went through last year and to some extent still deal with.
DannyLedonne: ... death threats, etc.
DannyLedonne: Have you talked with your parents about the whole situation?
MasterPiGPEN: yeah yeah
DannyLedonne: I trust they're dealing with it okay?
MasterPiGPEN: no reason to be a bi about death threat.....theyre good fun
DannyLedonne: "be a bi?"
MasterPiGPEN: i heard you like it both directions ^_~
DannyLedonne: Oh really?  Where did you read that?
DannyLedonne: (I've never had anal sex... probably never will)
MasterPiGPEN: a friend of yours told me
DannyLedonne: Mmmm.  I didn't know we had mutual friends.  Probably someone online, I presume.
MasterPiGPEN: yeah
MasterPiGPEN: its a word .....dont get technical
DannyLedonne: I realized some years ago that my attraction to a person isn't primarily related to
 genitalia; I've loved a few men in my days but I would still refer to myself as "heteroflexible."
MasterPiGPEN: thats a horrible compound word
MasterPiGPEN: or pun even
MasterPiGPEN: i cant even look at it
DannyLedonne: My friend Isabelle introduced it to me.  I think it precisely denotes the degree to
 which I'm actually gay... say 20%.
MasterPiGPEN: im pretty sure straight, bi, gay is enough
DannyLedonne: Much sexuality research that has been done has concluded that all humans are on a
 continuum between "straight" and "gay" - with most people falling somewhere inbetween.  I think
 Kinsey introduced this concept.

DannyLedonne:  Just remember that free speech only works if you have something to say.
MasterPiGPEN: how so?
DannyLedonne: I keep reading the articles written about you in the past 48 hours, waiting for you to
 say something insightful so as to defend your actions.  I want you to make this more than a joke.
MasterPiGPEN: why?
DannyLedonne: I've been involved in the serious games community since making SCMRPG and these people
 really want to see games flourish as genuine art.  Now unfortunately the public is charactizing
 your game as a reason to further regulate ALL games.  I emailed a state senator in NY urging him to
 make a distinction between VTech Rampage and industry games.
MasterPiGPEN: youre a fucking tool

DannyLedonne: I get the impression you don't give a shit about most anyone.
MasterPiGPEN: all the people i care about are already on my side
MasterPiGPEN: but i guess you had no one on yours to begin with
MasterPiGPEN: or maybe you lust for everyone to love you when thats just not possible
DannyLedonne: Well, there's always my friends... but I've made many new ones as a result of this
 experience - in the sense that many indie game developers recognize SCMRPG's potential to help
 reshape serious games.
DannyLedonne: I absolutely know that I'm not going to garnish everyone's love; I have the President
 of the Parent's Television Council calling me a "deeply disturbed jerk" in the trailer for the
 game.  That's important to me, too.
DannyLedonne: Life is definitely not a popularity contest.  There are a multitude of people who
 hate me, who probably always will, but this isn't a problem because they were never really my
 audience.
DannyLedonne: I've actually spoken with teens who tell me that playing my game, reading about my
 story, and discussing these issues has prevented them from shooting up their own school.
MasterPiGPEN: or that was the only way they were able to say they liked it without being afraid
 of being labeled as loner outcast violent such and such
DannyLedonne: It's possible.  Kimveer Gill played it, too.
DannyLedonne: That's something I've had to live with.
MasterPiGPEN: who?
DannyLedonne: http://www.denverpost.com/search/ci_4340345
MasterPiGPEN: pft never heard of it
MasterPiGPEN: maybe if you did better the game inspired killings wouldnt suck

DannyLedonne: How much do I owe you for tonight's session?
DannyLedonne: I really feel like we're making progress on my testicular insecurities, Ryan.
MasterPiGPEN: IM NOT YOUR FATHER DANNY WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME!!!!!!!
DannyLedonne: I HAVE ISSUES WITH GOATS, RYAN!  ISSUES WITH GOATS AND OTHER FARM ANIMALS!
DannyLedonne: (please don't tell anyone, Ryan... please)
MasterPiGPEN: already did
MasterPiGPEN: out of context no less
DannyLedonne: Ahhhhhhh.  Horrible.  But only male goats.  I like grabbing the horns.
MasterPiGPEN: horns or "horns"
DannyLedonne: Hee hee.  In the dark corner of the barn I'm never too sure.

Entertaining but censored videos

These great videos have been censored because they are claimed to violate something called a "Terms of Service Agreement" (can't see how). Links remain as a taste of what they were and a reminder of the ever-active enemies of freedom. Service will be restored when something similar is posted again.

Fan versions

Some person with way too much time on his hands and probably a good amount of Asburger's is working on an updated version of the "game", adding more content and correcting shit for so-called "factual accuracy". This person clearly needs to get a life.

Gallery

• 
  How teh whole thing starts
• 
  In the car park. Check the polygon counts on the cars!
• 
  A touching scene just after some explosions; demonstrates the game's brilliant use of dialogue.
• 
  Halfway through the great zoom-in effect just before the action starts.
• 
  A corridor at a school
• 
  Doom-like action after Dylan and Eric leave school
• 
  A room full of celebrities in hell

The Forum

	“	why the fuck would u make a game making fun of thins tragedy. I hope someone shoots you, you fucking cunt. What kind of fucking moron would even ever consider making suck a retarded game. Im guessing that your probally some fucked up kid whos parents hate him because your a total screw up in life and only get by in life by sucking the cock.	„
	—IGN, the review

The site includes a dead forum where you can say whatever the fuck you want- Because noone there will tell you not to. The only people they will respond to are people raging against them due mostly to the fact that the sole purpose of the site and the game was to troll Columbine survivors. Some of the contributors have even stolen their usernames from Dramatica people.

See Also

• Adam Lanza - Played SCMRPG a lot and was very active on the forums under the alias Smiggles.
• Kimveer Gill - Another school shooter who played it. Attracted a lot of negative press for the game in the aftermath of his shooting.
• Morimiya Middle School Shooting - Weeb version made by a guro artist.
• Off Them - Edgier version with moar maps.
• Ryan Lambourn - Created several lulzier games based off other school shootings.
• School Shooter: North American Tour 2012
• Schoolocaust - Ongezellig version.

External Links

• The site Archive of the site
• Quick download from Google Drive for those who are too fucking lazy to select a download option
• TOW coverage

Super Columbine Massacre RPG! is part of a series on Gaming Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.

Super Columbine Massacre RPG! is part of a series on Columbine

[All jocks stand up!NBK]